A/N: Written for the Merry Month of Masterbation challenge at Livejournal.
Ray Kowalski was standing in the supply closet with his dick in his hand.
He had been at the twenty-seventh for eighteen hours straight and needed a little stress relief. Normally he'd go in the men's bathroom and quickly jerk off before anyone else came in. It was the most sanitary way to do it, and the last thing he wanted was for Frannie to get a cum stained paper out of the supply closet. If she found out there would be an investigation, because she has nothing better to do all day than to make reasons to be miserable. Of course getting caught was the least of his troubles, right now he couldn't concentrate. Kowalski was one who couldn't concentrate on any one thing for too long, there was a time where he thought he may have ADD, but that thought was quickly replaced by another one. When it did come to his own pleasure he did have a knack for being able to concentrate very well, but this was a different story.
'Okay, think Kowalski, big breasts. Not too big, that woman with the double G's is kinda nasty. Well she also hasn't shaved her pits for years so maybe it's just that she's just a disgusting person and it doesn't have much to do with those in-humanly big tits.
'Fuck. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm a very close to middle aged man with my dick in my hand in the freaking supply closet, where coincidently Fraser and I have our little talks. Or some Freudian weirdo would say it's no accident, then blame my mother.
'No Mother! Big huge titties. Damnit! Those two words should at least be three sentences apart.
'Maybe it's the breast thing, maybe that's just not doing it for me. I mean, I watch a porn and those things are bobbing up and down and I'm fucking there, but just thinking about breasts is not helping. Maybe snatch. Yeah, there you go, some wet pussy, and it's like that one where she's really begging for it. Not just because she's acting, no that one really wanted it pounded into her. I wish I was that Renaldo guy, just fucking her hard right up against that table in her sorority house while all her sisters were asleep.
'I wonder if Fraser would let me date his sister. No! Stop! Big titties. No, sorority house, me being Renaldo fucking that one chick.
'I wonder where Fraser is? Fuck. Why do I always cum when I think about Fraser? Some Freudian bastard would say something about my subconscious, oh god… No, Kowalski, no need to freak yourself out again. It's just a coincidence.
'Oh shit, I got cum all over the paper.'
Twenty minutes later Ray Kowalski exited the supply closet with a pen and a bottle of white-out. Welsh went in soon afterward and could be heard yelling:
"Why does it smell like bleach in here? And where's all the paper? Francesca! Did you forget to order paper?"
Kowalski saw a red figure go past him, he sped up and said, "Fraser, buddy, I gotta ask you something."
"Of course Ray, go ahead."
"Is there anything to that Freud stuff? I mean, not everything's about sex, right?"
"I'm surprised to hear that from you Ray, considering how much you insist on talking-"
"Hey, I'm a deep guy." Ray said and gave Fraser his best defensive posture.
"Right you are."