Title: Baby Blues
Author: Angel Leviathan
Disclaimer: House MD, the characters, concept, etc, aren't mine.
Spoilers: Anything from all three seasons is fair game. Specifically 2x3 - Humpty Dumpty, 3x9 - Finding Judas, and 3x17 - Fetal Position.
Notes: None.
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She ignored the noise she heard coming from downstairs, too tired to entertain thoughts that it was anything but a precariously placed book falling from a shelf or a jacket slipping from a hanger. Lisa Cuddy continued to dress for bed, yawning, and failed to hear the subsequent racket that signalled it was neither a book nor a fallen jacket making such a noise.

"You really shouldn't leave a key outside, you know."

She whirled, clutching her nightdress to her, to find House in the doorway of her bedroom.

"Oh, relax," he dismissed her concerns. "Nothing I haven't seen before."

Cuddy turned her back on him, "That doesn't mean you have a season pass!" she snapped, pulling her nightdress over her head. "Or that you have the right to just wander inside my home whenever you feel like it!"

House smirked, "I'm sorry, are you speaking in metaphors today, or do you mean-"

She turned back to face him, "House…" she growled. "What the hell are you doing here? Is using the doorbell a concept completely foreign to you?"

He perched on the edge of her bed, "Keys are for doors, doorbells are for losers."

"Doorbells are for people who don't live here," Cuddy sighed. "I'm exhausted - could you get to the point and get out?"

"I can't sleep." He dropped his cane to the floor and lay back on the bed, hands behind his head.

She groaned and ran a hand through her hair. She fixed him with a stern glare, "Just go home, hire a hooker-"

"I don't know any hookers who are desperate to have babies," House shot back.

Cuddy frowned, "…Have you been snorting your vicodin this evening?"

"No, that's scheduled for next Tuesday."

"I want to go to bed-"

"Perfect, I'm already here."

"House!" she shouted.

He sat up, "Okay, okay. I've been thinking."

She sank down onto the edge of her bed, "That's very brave of you to admit," she muttered.

"You're not half as scary in your nightgown," House stated. "How goes the IVF?"

Cuddy set her jaw, "You know how." She looked away, hoping he'd drop the line of questioning, knowing he wouldn't. If she wanted someone to be sympathetic or a shoulder to cry on, she was better off speaking to Wilson. House was (unfortunately, for many reasons) the only one who had noticed the subtle differences in her during her brief pregnancy.

"Are you trying again?"

"Not for the moment."

"Doesn't sound like fighting talk to me," House commented.

"It isn't," she snapped. "For god's sake, don't you ever know when to be a damned human being and when to be a walking sarcasm repository?" Cuddy stood back up, "I'm tired, you're tired – go home."

He folded his arms across his chest, "What if you didn't have to try again?"

She blinked, "What?"

"…What if I-"

"You?" She gawped at him. "You told me to choose someone I liked!"

"You like me enough. You'd have physically thrown me out by now if you didn't. Would never have had sex with me if-"

"Alright, enough," Cuddy mumbled. She stared at him, "You don't like children. You don't like babies. You don't like people!"

"Right on all accounts," he agreed.

"Then why-"

"I don't like other people's children. I don't like other people's babies."

"You're an ass!" Cuddy exclaimed. "You're so fixated with the truth that you could never be gentle with a child, and you're a damned liar anyway. You have no patience, you have no time for anyone but yourself, and, oh yes, you're addicted to prescription painkillers! House…" She sighed, "You won't change. You can't."

"I never said I would," House replied. "I'm a bastard of the first degree."

"So-"

"But do you really think I'd be that much of an ass to my own kid?"

Her shoulders sagged and she tugged at the covers of her bed, before she threw them back and clambered in. "…I think you like the idea now, but you'll get bored," she said. "I think you'll try, maybe you will try and change, but you'll hit a snag and decide you've had enough." Cuddy lay back, turning to face him, "…And I think you'll use it against me whenever we disagree. I'd owe you more than I could ever repay and you'd like that far too much for me to live with."

"You don't think being a father to your kid would be enough?" House slid back down to lie opposite her.

"I think the child would suffer when we couldn't get on anymore."

"We don't get on now. We fight like hell on a daily basis, we make each other laugh, and here I am in your bed."

She closed her eyes, "On my bed," she corrected. "…Do you really want to open this can of worms?"

"Can you afford not to open it?" he countered.

"…Go home, House."

"Too tired to move. You wouldn't throw a cripple out of bed."

Cuddy yawned, "Any groping equals a instant pay cut."

He muttered a curse, "Fine. But if anyone asks, you were screaming my name all night."

"Whatever makes you happy."

House smirked again, "Now we're in dangerous territory."

"House…" she muttered, in a warning tone

"Fine, fine, alright."

"Goodnight."

Fin