"Come on, crybaby, is that all you got for us? Come back here and finish your performance to start up the party!"
I ignored them. I swam as fast as my tail can carry me and hope that the music of the party can rapidly fade away. Covered in a party cake, lemonade, and other food, tears stream down my cheeks while I was carrying my cap that was now wet completely wrinkled and covered with lemonade as it dripped across the huge garden of one of the student's mansion. The year was the end of November 1986 at only the age of four that Friday night. It was already almost two months since I arrived from the ocean and it was the first time I was invited to a party after quite a while then.
I was only trying to fit in back there since people were barely talking to me that much. I thought that maybe a joke would be nice. But the problem was, I only knew ocean jokes and tank fish like them barely knows that much about the beautiful blue sea. And because they knew me as the smartest, they would begin to try to make me feel miserable by humiliating me. I just wanted to fit in, but all I did was to make my appearance worse. My chance at feeling normal was over and I would never forget the laughs that echoed across the room.
Laughing sounds would sometimes scare me ever since then and I knew this would scar me for ever laughing all the time. I made a harsh sobbing pant as I finally grew father away from the music and I stopped at the edge of the garden gasping for water as I slowly glance at the far away mansion with many windows still lit up and I would see some shadows of students laughing and having fun. I decided to just turn away for now and just look at the grass for a while since I didn't even want to see the sight of those kids anymore. I panted for a while still startled and very embarrassed of what just happened.
I then try to soften the pant as I finally got a chance to raise up my hand that was carrying a drenched blue cap that I thought would help me look cool in front of the people. It wasn't even worth it anymore. I felt my body began to flare up inside as my teeth clenched in anger trying to hold up more tears and threw it hardly on the ground. As I did so, the anger was later on beginning to soothe down inside me. So I decided to just collapse on the ground and bury my face on my thin arms so I could release these emotions.
The garden was beautiful and quiet except for chirping sound of...well whatever it was. So I was sure I would cheer up quickly if I would just stay there for a little while before getting up and walking back home without anybody noticing me. I was already not in the mood anymore to go back inside.
"U-umm...hello."
My body flinched harshly as I turned behind me and saw an orange female squid standing there with a friendly smile and her eyes a bit was also wearing a mixed color flowery dress with a bow on her huge pointed head. She must be one of the students from the party. So recognizing this, I backed away cowardly and plan on running away from her since I didn't want to have anymore problems for tonight.
"Wait young sir!" she begged reaching out for, "I promise I won't hurt you!"
I froze there afterwards still wanting to tremble from that response. Why can't she just get away from me already? I should at least try to act this out. After being frozen there for a while, I narrowed as I formed both of my fist.
"Didn't I tell you all to leave me alone?!" I blurted out in anger, "I'm sick and tired of your games and I don't want you to hurt me again just like you did back there! So why don't you just back off before I hurt you back?!"
I didn't really mean it back then when I said it, but I had to do something about escaping from that girl. Seeing her, I think I may have seen her around before.
She's that girl lately that I would pass by most of the time when I get to my classroom. She would always say hi everybody who passes her even me even though they don't know her that much. I also been warned to stay away from her because she's crazy.I really could have sworn that she was going to run away from those words by the look of how her eyes widened for a moment. But I spoke too soon when she frown trying to smile again.
"Aww," she replied a bit of a sad tone, "you must be having one of these poo poo days, aren't you?
I looked at her awkwardly by those words. Is THAT how they say the word "bad" in this tank? Or is this girl just acting wierd?
But I didn't say anything else for a while. I then narrowed at her in curiosity.
"What are you even talking about?"
"Well, a poo poo day if you know what I'm saying," she chuckled, "it's like when you get your tail kicked from those days when you feel all down and well...poopy. That is just pretty much why it's called a poo poo day-"
"We'll you know what?" I covered my eyes with my fingers, "just forget what you just said.
"Why are you even here anyway?" I glared at her again, "you don't even know how harsh my days are for me. I always get laughed out because everybody believes that I'm way smarter than them and even my eight older sisters back then would get jealous of me and would sometimes barely even talk to me whenever I get something right. It just...I-it just makes me want to burst from all of this!"
In anger, sat back down hugging myself with tears running down my cheeks once again. Why is she even talking to me? Can she just please leave me alone to think of what happened this night. I should maybe escape this party right away when I'm done with her. She was already beginning to scare me already, not because she looked funny looking but just so she won't get any stupid ideas of what sort of prank she might do later on. Maybe one of the students set up this plan and are hiding in the bush just ready to laugh at me again. I better get away from her before-
"Oh I've always seen looks like these before," she spoke a bit softer, "it seems to happen to me all the time."
I turn to her after a moment of pause and notice she slightly looked away from me no longer smiling. I then looked at her suspiciously.
"What do you mean by that?" I muttered in a bit of annoyance.
"Well um," she tried to chuckle, "it's pretty strange when I tell these to people like you but...I'm not as popular as you think I am."
"You don't think," I made a look at her before turning my face away from her again.
"No please just listen to me," I almost flinched when I felt her paddle formed hand touch my shoulder and turn back to her, "I promise I wouldn't want to lie to anyone. When I saw you be laughed at back there, I swear I didn't laugh at you too. You may have not see it, but I feel how much your hurt right now because I would go through the same way as you do.
From then I fell silent yet a bit confused now. She then looked at the ground sadly as she kept on.
"Just like you, people would always humiliate me whenever I'm around them. My mommy would always tell me I'm beautiful but daddy would mostly tell me I looked too weird looking to have a boy to like me. But it's not only that, but people would laugh at me from how I would mess everything up and sometimes they would call me a squid freak."
She then froze for a long time before murmuring in a sad voice.
"I never did anything wrong on purpose, it's just how I am. I always have been given a task and I wouldn't understand some things and next thing I know, I would mess up everything."
She then sighed sadly and rest her head on her hands.
"Besides, when I look at myself in the mirror, I would think that maybe daddy was right. I don't think I look beautiful enough for anybody."
I still sat frozen. Felt like forever since I stared at her. She sounded as if she was actually telling the truth and for some odd reason, I couldn't help but stare at her face when she said this. Ofcourse, she did look pretty strange when she is around. But there was something else that caught my attention. Something more than looking awkward. Something...that made me want to smile inside. I frown not even knowing how to put it out. And suddenly, it slipped out of me.
"I-I think you're beautiful..."
She turned to me quickly with a blank stare and that was when my face grew hot and my heart quickened by how she looked at me. I couldn't even tell if she was angry or flattered about that. she stared at me for a very long time and the more she kept on doing that, the more it felt as if my heart was going to squeeze tightly enough to burst. And then, she finally smiled normally.
"O-oh, well that was pretty sudden wasn't it? But thanks for at least trying to cheer me up. I also think you have a giant nice forehead!"
I paused for a moment feeling a bit uncomfortable about talking about my big forehead. But I just try to smile back.
"Oh...um...thanks?"
She then giggled.
"Oh look at us sir," she chuckled, "now your happy and now you made me happy and we did this because we confessed our feelings about our life."
Well um yeah," I noddded a bit, "I...guess we have some things un common-"
"Oh oh!" she halted me for a moment, "maybe we should see each other more often so that we can always feel better! It's not that much of a bad idea, doesn't it?"
"U-um..." I rubbed the back of my neck shyly, "y-yeah, I don't really know about that but I guess it would be al-
"And you know what I just realized?" She interrupted me again excitedly, "I don't need to be a firefighter or a football player in order to feel special. I can just be a guidance counselor when I grow up so I can always make everyone happy! I mean it worked for you so I'm sure this is a great future for me. What do you think?"
I didn't really say anything at first since I thought she was going to continue talking again. She then made another blank stare at me for a while before chuckling again.
"Whoopsies," she smiled, "I'm sorry, but I just always seem to act like this whenever I get super happy about myself."
"N-no," I shook my head smiling, "I don't really mind. I like seeing you happy and if this is the future you want, then I'm sure you deserve to become a counselor.
"Well that is just very sweet of you," she press her hands on her hips, "I just wish I can be as honest and smarter like you."
She then stopped smiling.
"Well not like I'm saying I hate you too but," she shrugged, "you know what I'm saying?"
"No thats cool," I answered, "I-I'm actually glad you don't hate me because I'm smart. Most people would hate me because of that."
"I don't see why is that," she shrugged, "students can be weird sometimes."
"Yeah I guess so," I wondered a bit. Not ALL of them at least.
"Oh!" she replied, "I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Ms. Annabelle Lips. It may sound pretty awkward when you say my last name but oh well,"
"Pft," I rolled my eyes, "I've seen worse."
"Really, do you know anybody you know who has a stranger name than mine?"
I didn't really know if I wanted to say it at first while I was thinking about it cause I didn't want to feel laughed at again. But instead, I answered,
"Baldwin."
"Wait, your not joking right?"
"Nope," I shyly told her looking at the ground. By then, she started giggling.
"Wow," she laughed, "I never even thought like a name that can exist,"
she laughed for a while before it soften.
"boy," she sighed, "I feel bad for that person who is embarrassed with it."
"Yep," I shrugged, "he actually is right now,"
"Really," she looked at me, "how can you tell?"
I glanced at her confused face for few seconds.
"Your looking at him."
"Oh!
Her body suddenly froze for a long time with her hand almost completley covering her huge pink lips.
"I-Im so sorry!" she stammered embarrased, "I-I didn't realize-"
"No it's ok," I try to chuckle, "everybody laughs at it anyways whenever my last name is heard. So I guess I'm a bit use to it."
I then turn to her trying my best to smile even though I felt completley humiliated by her discovery.
"It does kind of sound pretty wierd when you hear names like that, right?"
"N-no!"
My smile disappeared quickly in a small confusion.
Didn't she said earlier that my last name sounded wierd?
I was planning on replying with that same exact question.
"W-well, not exactly," she shrugged erasing my thought, "I mean...it's true it DOES sound pretty wierd when you hear a name like that. But...
She gave another warm friendly
"I think I can take it."
I was about to just let her just go with it from that moment until something else appeared in my mind.
"And how are you going to do that? Not that much people in our school never gets tired of it."
"Come on Baldy," she smiled, "I always get stuck with having MY strange last name all the time. And besides, the name Baldwin can make me get over with it for about a day or so. If I can take my name seriously, then I can take yours too."
Well, I did NOT like the new nickname she immediately gave me there, but I guess she IS right.
We both share problems together and we even both get humiliated by people for who we are. I think if I just stay by her side...I don't know how this was going to change me, but I know she is going to be the only who can lift up my spirit. And there was something else that was different now when I look at her. As odd looking as she would be deep down inside me, she looked loving and very pretty...
Just so beautiful it makes my heart beat in excitement...my goodness why is she so beautiful?
"Baldy...yoo hoo! Baldy!"
It took me a while to wake up. But then I realized a moment later that Lips was now staring at me with confusion and a little worry on her face. That was when I easily flinched as my heart began pounding more with my face burning up again.
What in the name of a clam just happened?! Why did I just stare at her awkwardly like that?!
"W-what," I forced out at least a word as a reply as I backed a bit a way still sitting down on the ground, "what is it?!"
Dear gosh, she looked at me so confused.
"Are you ok? You pretty much got your brain kicked out for a moment. Are you sure you're not getting sick or anything?"
While saying that last question, I can see her hand start to reach for my forehead. Feeling another sudden wave of the same exact emotion coming from my heart, I freaked out by grabbing her hand and pushing it down slightly away from my head.
"No!"
Oh great, she's staring at me more confused now. I knew that if I don't act quick, then she's going to notice that I'm beginning to act really strange. I have to make it smooth quick before my chest burst.
"I-I mean no no," I force out a smile, "I'm perfectly fine don't worry."
I then chuckled nervously before continuing.
"I guess I'm just tired is all."
She looked at me for a while as deep inside me I felt like screaming in the top of my lungs and hopefully wake up and know that it was a bad dream. Finally, she smiled.
"Well at least that makes so much sense," she giggled and after a while, I just tried to join in too even though I still felt like melting in the ground after that long relief. I still felt squeezy though for some odd reason and my body was burning.
As the laughter calmed, the girl looked at me for a few moments of silence.
"Well you should better go home and get some rest," she replied, "I don't want you to pass out into slumber in somebody's backyard in the middle of the night. Someone would approach to and probably beat you up after the party."
"Well sure," I slightly nodded before getting up, "I guess you might be right. It's getting late for me anyways."
She let out an emotional smile while nodding.
"Please be safe for now on. I really don't want a sweet little guy like you to get hurt."
I actually felt pretty warmed up when she said that to me.
"Don't worry," I answered back, "I will for now on. Oh, and thanks for cheering me up by the way."
I paused there for a while looking at her stare at me. I didn't know what else to say next.
"Goodnight," was all I said then before swimming away.
You wierdo, I thought, that's the dumbest thing to say to a girl before leaving. It just wasn't enough!
"Wait!
My heart jumped a bit as I immediately stopped after swimming few seconds away from her. I tried my best not to clench my hand into a fist bracing myself for the worst.
"Are we ever going to see each other again?"
Somehow when I wanted to answer that, I felt as if my mouth was completley sealed. I felt as if it was an hour now of being frozen in my position and I knew I couldn't stay like this forever. It was then after a while of silence that I finally turn my face towards that squid's beautiful face looking at me for a reply.
"Ofcourse we will," I said in a gentle voice with a soft smile, "we will always see each other. Who knows? maybe we will always see each other till the end of our lives. Well, if you feel you comfortable with that."
"No," she answered she closed her eyes in a sweet smile, "I think that sounds wonderful!"
My smile just stayed frozen somehow feeling comfort and happiness inside. Yet deep in my mind, I wasn't really sure if this was ever going to work out like this.
"Ok," I nodded, "then it's settle then. I guess I'll see you on Monday then. Goodnight Ms. Lips."
"Oh ok well goodbye," she waved at me awkwardly still smiling, "don't let the bed fish bite tonight!"
I just didn't say anything else afterwards as I steadily swam away from her as much as I can. I knew that if I turn back now that this feeling was never going to melt away. I panted softly in somewhat a discomfort clutching my chest as I tried to continue leaving the garden.
My chest...dear gosh, it felt like as if my chest was carrying an extreme weight inside me that can't be lifted. I was slowly sweating bullets and I wasn't sure if my eyes were watering or as if it was burning as well as my whole entire body.
If I just lie down and wait for it to fade away, then I knew for sure I was going to throw up where people are now nearby. I just had to keep it steady and find my way out of here and maybe find a way to get these feelings out of me. As minutes gone by, I was approaching the mansion hoping nobody can't see me since there were only very few outside. But as I was planning to sneak pass the mansion, I suddenly heard something in the distance.
"Marlo!"
I looked up in the distance and saw a shading figure running towards me. I was scared that it was going to be those students that bullied me again until the figure was close enough to make me realize it was just my best friend Mark. I stopped where I was and just watched the pink seahorse swam towards me as he stopped right in front of me panting.
"Marlo," he narrowed at me trying to catch his breath, "thank goodness I found you! You almost scared the living heck out of me!"
I just let out a sigh.
"Sorry Mark," I murmured, "I just wanted to be alone for a while.
"Well you shouldn't have!" he pressed his hips into his hips and pointed it out, "look at you! You look awful right now!"
"Don't worry Mark," I tried to calm him, "I'm just covered in food. I'll just wash it out when we get home-"
"No, not that!" he blurted out, "have you seen yourself in the mirror yet? Your sweating bullets, your eyes are pink, and you look as if you might pass out at any second!"
"Mark I'm fine," I replied, "I just need to go home and get some rest is all."
He just looked at me for a while.
"Well we ARE going home," He talked back to me, "but what we need to do first is get out of here and hopefully give you some fresh air. Come on, you can rest on my shoulder while I escort you out of here.
I just made this frustrated sigh as I rolled my eyes a bit.
"Fine," I muttered, "but don't make this look TOO awkward for the public."
"Marlo you don't have a choice," he told me as he wrapped one arm around my body and put my arm on the back of his neck, "you would pretty much pass out if you swim like this by yourself. Come on, I think I know the safest way out of here. Try to at least move your tail if you can."
I didn't really care anymore and try to at least obey what he said. Though every swim we took, my tail just seem to barely move sometimes. I was starting to get dizzy as everything around started to darken. Before I even knew it, the side of my head fell unto Mark's shoulder.
All I need is a rest, I thought, just a little rest and I'll get better right away.
Everything became silent in a second.
"Ok, I think were safe for now."
I groaned a bit. What was he talking about? We just started swimming five seconds ago! I had no choice but to flicker my eyes open slightly to see what was going on. Somehow, the area around us seems different then how I'd expected it to be.
"Wh...where?"
"Were few tanks away from the mansion. You seem to have knock out after a minute of swimming since you felt heavier afterwards. We already been swimming for like almost half an hour now."
"Ugh...really?"
"You would want me to lie," he rolled his eyes, "Here, just try to sit down near the fence and at least get a cup of fresh air."
I groaned again this time a little bit more not even wanting to move since my body now felt completely dead and my stomach still felt all squeezed up inside.
"Do I have to?" I complained a bit.
"Well it's a better way than trying to break my shoulder off my body if you keep knocking out like that."
"hmm," I looked at him for a little while and finally decided to bring it out, "fine."
What the heck anyways? I didn't want to look like a weakling in front of him. It's better anyways to sit down now instead of swimming like this. So I had no choice but get myself out of Mark's body and just sit down and lay back on the brown fence of one of the fish who lives in their house. To be honest three seconds after resting down on the ground, I could finally breathe normally again and my heart was almost steady now as in boredom looked up at the tiny stars in the sky with the breeze hitting me a bit.
I was guessing in my opinion that Winter was to come in earlier as I thought it would be. But somehow even if I felt comfortable now, that squid's face couldn't get off my mind which was starting to creep me a bit out now and yet another side of me just want me to wish to always picture that face in my mind. As I was sitting there for a while just looking at the sky, I sense my friend's presence again as he sat down next to me and I didn't even notice he was looking at me with a bit concern on him. It only took him a second to finally answer.
"So what happened in there after that...incident. You still look a bit like somebody punched you hard on the stomach. Are you really sure your not sick?"
Great, now even my best friend thinks about it the same way as Ms. Lips said to me half an hour ago.
"Or is it that...were you just crying the whole time alone in the garden or something?" He mentioned it out. I just sighed and just wrapped my small arms around my tail.
"I mean...it's that too but," I then turn to him with a frown, "can we just not go out on Friday night for now?"
"Marlo," He looked a bit down, "you can't just never go out on Friday night just because of one small incident. You might miss everything then."
"Good," I muttered carelessly looking at the ground, "I rather do."
He stared at me once again for a little while.
"Listen bro," he replied, "I'm sorry that this night didn't work up as much as I expected to. Next time, I'll find something better and maybe just come over to my house to play video games."
"Well unless if it isn't Friday night," I turned to him, "then yes, I would hang out there. But right now, Friday night is just not my thing anymore.
"Well ok then," he finally agreed. "whatever you say. I think you just need a little break is all. But if it gets to long, then I'll have no choice but to force you out of the house."
"Whatever you say," I rolled my eyes not even caring anymore. I was never going out on Friday night ever again even if Mark tries to force me out when we reach our 80's. After that conversation, we just sat there quiet not even caring what to do next anymore. It did felt pretty relazxing anyways but...there was just one thing I wanted to burst out of my chest. Something that can never get out of my mind ever since we left the mansion. It took me a while to be brave enough to speak out again.
"Mark?"
"Yeah bro?" he spoke while looking at the sky bored.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Um...sure," he shrugged a bit, "go ahead and spit out."
Now I wasn't even sure now how to ask this. But I just tried to at least make it a bit simple.
"Do you ever get this feeling sometimes that whenever you see this really special person, you just get this person stuck on your head later on?"
He froze to think about it.
"Well...I mean," he thought about it, "sometimes it happens whenever I see a famous fish and I just can't get him or her out of my mind because of how awsome they are. Most of the time, I wouldn't get a girl off my mind and it will just go away the next day."
He then turn to me in curiosity.
"So why are you asking this question?"
I just started to feel nervous about telling him this.
"Well," I said shyly as I started to rub the back of my neck, "Do you know this girl in our school that is a orange squid with a crossed eye? She would most likely pass by in our lockers when getting to class."
"Who? Ms. Anabell Lips?"
"Yes that girl," I replied back, "you know her, right?
He bit his lips as he took a deep breath looking creeped out.
"I know her but," He rubbed his arm, "she always creep the heck out of me whenever I see her. That creepy huge smile and those huge crossed eyes. It's just...ugh!"
He shuddered as he hugged himself,
"I don't even think she ever changes to clothing. Probably because of how huge her head is."
He then turn to me now as confused as ever.
"Geez bro, why are you even planning on talking about her?"
That was when I frown and I knew it was too late to turn back now. Mark never leaves a conversation by the time it's completley out.
"W-well," I chuckled a bit nervously turning my face a bit to the ground, "it's a funny story and...you might not believe me if I tell you this...but."
I sat there for a long time knowing how to say this to him. But somehow it felt as if my heart whispered to me what to say and yet I slowly didn't feel afraid to say this anymore. I knew that even though I disagreed that this would be true, I now know that this was starting to feel real this time. I slowly turned back to my friend who was staring at me for the answer.
"I...I think I just fallen in love with her.
And just right when I said this, I took me a while to notice that I was smiling about it.