Author Chronicles: One Really Weird Dream
another really weird fanfic by charity236
Disclaimer: I didn't create Zelda or most other characters in here. I only created Author and a few other characters, and Noodles is my kitty - mine, ALL MINE! All real people in this fanfic own themselves. I am not trying to pay out any of the real people in this fanfic (except a few certain people I will not mention at this point in time, for fear of plot-ruining).
Quick Notes:
This is quite possibly the funniest (not to mention WEIRDEST) fanfic I have ever written.
After a night out at the local pub (it's a bar for those who aren't Aussie), Link falls unconscious - and finds himself stuck in a really weird dream. With people who really tick him off, really help him, and/or really don't do anything at all. Really helpful, eh?
The afore-mentioned "people" are mostly celebrities that you might have heard of. Some are Australian, so you might not know of them. Anyway, every chapter at least three people get dragged into the story, and Link has to persuade them to help him find the "mysterious hut". But obviously there are LOTS of obstacles in the way...
Rating will almost certainly go up to PG-13 by Chapter 2, because of a lot of swearing, a bit of violence, what-have-you. Just a warning.
UPDATE Friday 19th September 2003: Due to my working on... other... Zelda fanfics for Author Chronicles, and very limited internet time, I will not update One Really Weird Dream again until I get some more reviews. Besides, I haven't quite completed the next chapter. So get reviewing, peoples!
PS: The "other" Author Chronicles fanfics that I am working on have NOT been mentioned in the Fanfic Tree below, because they have something to do with The End... darn, said too much... you better forget I said that!
Author Chronicles Fanfic Tree
This mini-feature is to remind people what stage of the Author Chronicles we are in. Basically a series-part tree.
1. Return to Hyrule
2. The Magic Link: Philosopher's Stone (crossover with Harry Potter; just released)
3. ???? (yet to be released; a Link-insert-into-my-life fic)
4. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Redwall, particularly The Taggerung)
5. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Neopets)
6. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Pokémon)
7. One Really Weird Dream - the fanfic you are currently reading
8. ???? (yet to be released; another Link-insert-into-my-life fic)
9. ???? (yet to be released; an A/U fic)
No more series-part hints until either Return to Hyrule is finished or I get bored and post some more hints up anyway (which is what will happen, lol).
Super Fun Happy Feature!
With some of the weirder fanfics (and a few not-so-weird fanfics too) I write, I like to add "super fun happy features" to them.
You know how I said there were going to be three new peoples every chapter? Well starting from Chapter 1, I am giving Super Fun Happy Hints so you can try to guess who'll be in the next chapter! Some Hints will give it all away, others you might have to think hard, especially if you're not Aussie.
So have fun with the Super Fun Happy Feature, 'cause that's what it's there for!
PS: Review please.
PPS: Don't sue please.
PPPS: If having any of your favourite celebrities in here disturbs/annoys you, please don't flame, I just want to make people laugh. If you DO decide to flame (for whatever reason), they will be given to Rauru to melt his chocolate coins (he's still at it!). Or maybe I'll just chuck them in the fire myself (I'm joking, peoples).
Dedication:
All of my fanfics are now dedicated to the 3,000-plus innocent people who were killed in the World Trade Center and Pentagon terrorist attacks in New York City and Washington D.C. on September 11, 2001. They will always be remembered. God Bless America, death to terrorists. Especially Osama Bin-Laden (even though he is in this fanfic).
Prologue: A Drunk's Dream Begins
'Aaahh, git outta here yeu scumbag!'
'Nah, how 'bout you?'
Link groaned as he sat at the front bar of the Hyrule Market pub, listening to one of the small fights that was taking place.
'Shut up you lot!' he yelled.
'Why don' YER?' hiccupped one of the drunkos.
'I have no reason to.'
'Well, yer will now! (hic)' And the drunko picked up a beer bottle and smashed it on the bar.
'Uh-oh...' Link said. He pulled out his sword.
'Whoa, what a big spoon!' yelled another drunko.
'It's not a spoon, it's a sword!'
'Oh, yer played knifey-spooney here before, have yeh?'
'No. And this is a sword, not a knife.'
'Yeh (hic) sure abou' that?'
'Yeah.'
The drunko with the broken bottle now jumped at Link, who slid under his legs ('Ow! Damn carpet burn!') and hit him on the head with the flat of his sword.
'Ha! You can't shut ME up!'
'You sure abou' that?' The knocked-out-drunko's friend crept up behind him.
'I'm sure!'
'Yer sure yeh sure?'
'Duh.'
'Yeh sure yer sure yer sure?'
'Oh brother.'
'Yeh sure yer sure yer sure yer sure?'
'Just shut up already!' Link knocked him out with a punch in the face.
'Hey! Did you hurt my buddies?!' yelled another drunko.
'Oh, here we go again...'
After at least a dozen more drunkos had been knocked out (they were so idiotic), Link got back to talking with the barman over a drink or two (or TEN!).
'So Saria... she says... she says...'
'What? What does she say?'
'Uh... I don't remember... (hic)...'
'Geez Link, you're really drunk - I reckon you should stay at the hotel tonight. You can't go home like that!' said the barman.
'No way! I know my way back home like the palm of my hand...'
'You have GLOVES on your hands!!'
'What? Magnetic Gloves sure is useful...'
'Okay, I'm taking you to one of the spare rooms.'
'NO!!!! I'M GOING HOME AND YER CAN'T STOP ME!!!!'
'Too late!' The barman hopped over the bar and grabbed Link by the arm, pulling him over to the stairs.
'NO! NOO!! NOOOO!!!!'
'Ah, shut up!' yelled the drunkos whom Link had knocked out earlier (they had woken up).
'You!' Link growled.
The barman dragged Link up the stairs and into the nearest spare room.
'You're staying in here tonight!' the barman yelled, and he locked the door.
As soon as the barman was out of earshot, Link ran over to the OPEN window and jumped out.
'Uhhhh...' Link moaned in pain and tiredness as he tried to keep his eyes open. He had only made it as far as the drawbridge.
With one last glimpse of his surroundings, Link collapsed to the ground and fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heh heh heh...
Next chapter: We Are In "Wherever The Hell We Are"
~~~
another really weird fanfic by charity236
Disclaimer: I didn't create Zelda or most other characters in here. I only created Author and a few other characters, and Noodles is my kitty - mine, ALL MINE! All real people in this fanfic own themselves. I am not trying to pay out any of the real people in this fanfic (except a few certain people I will not mention at this point in time, for fear of plot-ruining).
Quick Notes:
This is quite possibly the funniest (not to mention WEIRDEST) fanfic I have ever written.
After a night out at the local pub (it's a bar for those who aren't Aussie), Link falls unconscious - and finds himself stuck in a really weird dream. With people who really tick him off, really help him, and/or really don't do anything at all. Really helpful, eh?
The afore-mentioned "people" are mostly celebrities that you might have heard of. Some are Australian, so you might not know of them. Anyway, every chapter at least three people get dragged into the story, and Link has to persuade them to help him find the "mysterious hut". But obviously there are LOTS of obstacles in the way...
Rating will almost certainly go up to PG-13 by Chapter 2, because of a lot of swearing, a bit of violence, what-have-you. Just a warning.
UPDATE Friday 19th September 2003: Due to my working on... other... Zelda fanfics for Author Chronicles, and very limited internet time, I will not update One Really Weird Dream again until I get some more reviews. Besides, I haven't quite completed the next chapter. So get reviewing, peoples!
PS: The "other" Author Chronicles fanfics that I am working on have NOT been mentioned in the Fanfic Tree below, because they have something to do with The End... darn, said too much... you better forget I said that!
Author Chronicles Fanfic Tree
This mini-feature is to remind people what stage of the Author Chronicles we are in. Basically a series-part tree.
1. Return to Hyrule
2. The Magic Link: Philosopher's Stone (crossover with Harry Potter; just released)
3. ???? (yet to be released; a Link-insert-into-my-life fic)
4. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Redwall, particularly The Taggerung)
5. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Neopets)
6. ???? (yet to be released; something to do with Pokémon)
7. One Really Weird Dream - the fanfic you are currently reading
8. ???? (yet to be released; another Link-insert-into-my-life fic)
9. ???? (yet to be released; an A/U fic)
No more series-part hints until either Return to Hyrule is finished or I get bored and post some more hints up anyway (which is what will happen, lol).
Super Fun Happy Feature!
With some of the weirder fanfics (and a few not-so-weird fanfics too) I write, I like to add "super fun happy features" to them.
You know how I said there were going to be three new peoples every chapter? Well starting from Chapter 1, I am giving Super Fun Happy Hints so you can try to guess who'll be in the next chapter! Some Hints will give it all away, others you might have to think hard, especially if you're not Aussie.
So have fun with the Super Fun Happy Feature, 'cause that's what it's there for!
PS: Review please.
PPS: Don't sue please.
PPPS: If having any of your favourite celebrities in here disturbs/annoys you, please don't flame, I just want to make people laugh. If you DO decide to flame (for whatever reason), they will be given to Rauru to melt his chocolate coins (he's still at it!). Or maybe I'll just chuck them in the fire myself (I'm joking, peoples).
Dedication:
All of my fanfics are now dedicated to the 3,000-plus innocent people who were killed in the World Trade Center and Pentagon terrorist attacks in New York City and Washington D.C. on September 11, 2001. They will always be remembered. God Bless America, death to terrorists. Especially Osama Bin-Laden (even though he is in this fanfic).
Prologue: A Drunk's Dream Begins
'Aaahh, git outta here yeu scumbag!'
'Nah, how 'bout you?'
Link groaned as he sat at the front bar of the Hyrule Market pub, listening to one of the small fights that was taking place.
'Shut up you lot!' he yelled.
'Why don' YER?' hiccupped one of the drunkos.
'I have no reason to.'
'Well, yer will now! (hic)' And the drunko picked up a beer bottle and smashed it on the bar.
'Uh-oh...' Link said. He pulled out his sword.
'Whoa, what a big spoon!' yelled another drunko.
'It's not a spoon, it's a sword!'
'Oh, yer played knifey-spooney here before, have yeh?'
'No. And this is a sword, not a knife.'
'Yeh (hic) sure abou' that?'
'Yeah.'
The drunko with the broken bottle now jumped at Link, who slid under his legs ('Ow! Damn carpet burn!') and hit him on the head with the flat of his sword.
'Ha! You can't shut ME up!'
'You sure abou' that?' The knocked-out-drunko's friend crept up behind him.
'I'm sure!'
'Yer sure yeh sure?'
'Duh.'
'Yeh sure yer sure yer sure?'
'Oh brother.'
'Yeh sure yer sure yer sure yer sure?'
'Just shut up already!' Link knocked him out with a punch in the face.
'Hey! Did you hurt my buddies?!' yelled another drunko.
'Oh, here we go again...'
After at least a dozen more drunkos had been knocked out (they were so idiotic), Link got back to talking with the barman over a drink or two (or TEN!).
'So Saria... she says... she says...'
'What? What does she say?'
'Uh... I don't remember... (hic)...'
'Geez Link, you're really drunk - I reckon you should stay at the hotel tonight. You can't go home like that!' said the barman.
'No way! I know my way back home like the palm of my hand...'
'You have GLOVES on your hands!!'
'What? Magnetic Gloves sure is useful...'
'Okay, I'm taking you to one of the spare rooms.'
'NO!!!! I'M GOING HOME AND YER CAN'T STOP ME!!!!'
'Too late!' The barman hopped over the bar and grabbed Link by the arm, pulling him over to the stairs.
'NO! NOO!! NOOOO!!!!'
'Ah, shut up!' yelled the drunkos whom Link had knocked out earlier (they had woken up).
'You!' Link growled.
The barman dragged Link up the stairs and into the nearest spare room.
'You're staying in here tonight!' the barman yelled, and he locked the door.
As soon as the barman was out of earshot, Link ran over to the OPEN window and jumped out.
'Uhhhh...' Link moaned in pain and tiredness as he tried to keep his eyes open. He had only made it as far as the drawbridge.
With one last glimpse of his surroundings, Link collapsed to the ground and fell asleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heh heh heh...
Next chapter: We Are In "Wherever The Hell We Are"
~~~