"Wipe up that trail of drool running down your chin, will you?" Lily Evans said to her friend Roriana who had spent the last minute staring at Sirius.

"He is worth every bit of drool."

"Just go talk to him."

"Who said I wanted to talk? I just want to touch!"

"Fat chance," Lily said breezily, not looking up from her book.

"Lily, it's a little thing called lust. People who possess feelings usually experience this –sometimes- daunting emotion." Roriana stood up on the couch in the Gryffindor common rooms, she placed one hand on her heart, and one hand towards the ceiling as she declared, "there comes a time when every girl needs to take the bull by the horns and admit; I'm horny."

"And there comes a time when every girl makes a total fool of themselves."

"My time has passed," Roriana said, not the least bit embarrassed as she sunk down into the couch.

"Listen," Lily said, closing her book and setting it to the side. "If you fancy him-"

"-lust him, Lily. Lust, not love."

"Right since you 'lust' him, just ask him out."

"And then what?"

Lily sighed, "talk, play poker, I don't know!"

"Poker? Like, Poke-her?"

"No, it's a muggle game-never mind." Lily pinched the bridge of her nose, inhaling deeply. "Why are we friends?"

"…Because I'm sexy."

"…I could do much better."

"…I don't watch you take showers."

"…I'm smart, how did this happen?"

"…I make good jello, not watery or anything."

"…I read books."

"…I can count to ten in French."

"What are you rambling on about?"

"…Un, du, twa, blue, chu, glue…"

"Those aren't even the right words!"

"Show's what you know."

"I could teach you French, my father owns a nice little villa right outside of Paris." Roriana turned around only to see miss-somehow-manages-to-be-a-slut-even-though-she-has-no-boobs-but-
sticks-them-out-to-make-them-appear-bigger-and-pratically-eats-boys-with-them. She also goes by Veronica.

"If your fathers so rich why can't he afford to buy you real boobs? With you always stick your chest out that must take an awful toll on you're back."

"I know you're just jealous," she said, putting her hands on her hips and getting down to Roriana's face, with a sickly sweet smile. "You and you're suck-y eyebrows."

"Way to retaliate."

Veronica snorted, "I wasn't talking about math, who's the idiot now?"

"Did you finish the Transfiguration essay?" Lily asked Roriana as they headed to the aforementioned class.

"Essay?"

Lily hit her forehead in frustration, "don't you ever pay attention?"

"I do once an eraser has been thrown at me. Don't worry Lily, Minnie loves me."

"Ms. Buckley, I cannot tolerate such behavior in this class! Can you please tell me as to why you felt you weren't capable of doing the assigned work?" McGonagall's lips tightened as she spoke, her anger evident.

"Funny story, actually…"

"Please, Ms. Buckley, enlighten us."

"Well, I was doing my essay last night in the common rooms –and yes, I realize this was last minute, very sorry- and the heat suddenly went out. I couldn't start the fire, nothing, it was freezing. I found myself short of breath and couldn't move, so I was stuck in the ice-cold common rooms. Well, it became so cold that my hands froze and fell off, preventing me from finishing the essay."

"Well, Ms. Buckley, if this is true then why do you have hands today?" McGonagall said, not the least bit amused.

"These," Roriana said, holding up her hands and examining them. "Prosthetics, they are. Itch like the dickens."

"Detention, tonight!"

"Evans!" James called for Lily after they had gotten out of Potions.

Lily rolled her eyes, not bothering to turn around. "Just keep on walking."

"Why are you so mean to him? He's good looking, has huge feet, which only means one thing…"

"Shut up," Lily snapped.

"Evans," James said. He was panting after he had run to catch up with Lily and Roriana. "Do you want to go out with me?"

"Is the grass green?"

"I want to say yes…"

"The day grass is pink will be the day I go out with you."

James flashed Lily his crowd-pleasing smile. "I knew you liked me."

"You're detention for tonight will be to clean the trophy room, without the use of magic." McGonagall told Roriana later that night. McGonagall then looked over Roriana's shoulder, "ah, Mr. Black, how good of you to join us."

Roriana turned around and was pleased to see that Sirius was indeed walking into the Transfiguration room. He was wearing a white t-shirt with a zip up black sweatshirt and jeans that would –no doubt- make his bum look especially good.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Sirius said, flashing McGonagall a megawatt smile.

She was unfazed by his smile, "as I was telling Ms. Buckley, the both of you will be cleaning the trophy room, without the use of magic."

"Again? Minnie, when are you going to spice it up a little?"

"When are you going to clean up your attitude?"

"Minnie, stop trying to hide the fact that you want to see me by giving me detentions. If you want to hang out after school hours, just ask."

It looked like the side of McGonagall's lips twitched, almost as if she was going to smile. Surely she would turn to dust if such an event occurred. "Go, now, unless you want to receive another detention."

"What are you in for?" Sirius asked Roriana as they walked down to the trophy room.

"I didn't do my homework."

Sirius paused and seemed to be thinking as he opened up the door for Roriana that led to the trophy room. "Oh yes, no hands." He chuckled as he grabbed wax and started polishing the closest trophy. "How are those prosthetics working for you, by the way?"

Roriana shrugged, "I can't really do much. Clapping is about as far as I can get at this point."

Sirius chuckled and tossed his head to the side to move his hair from his eyes. "You're Roriana, right? Lily Evans friend?"

He knows my name?! "Yes, that would be me. And you're the Black Stallion?" Oh no, did I just say his porn star name –that I invented- out loud?!

"Close, Sirius Black."

"So," Roriana said eager to change the subject. "What did you do?"

Sirius shrugged, "I got caught putting frog spawn in Snivellus's shoes…while he was upside down." Roriana chuckled along with Sirius as he recalled the memory. "Anyway, so do your hands usually fall off when you're writing a Transfiguration essay?"

"No, once my owl pecked my mouth with its beak. My mouth became numb and as I was writing the essay I drooled, and all the words washed away. Then another time I was making a potion and something went wrong. All these little animals exploded from the cauldron. They stumbled upon my paper and started tearing it into pieces creating houses made from scraps of paper. I told McGonagall that if I would've stopped them I would be impeding a whole new society."

Sirius threw back his head and let out a loud bark-like laugh, his shoulders shaking. "You are an interesting one."

"You didn't touch him? How is that possible?" Lily said in mock-shock.

"He said I was interesting, so basically he was hinting that he wants to shag."

"Right, anyway, did you get around to writing the Transfiguration essay yet?"

"No, I figure I'll do it later tonight."

"There's a Quidditch game tonight; Gryffindor V.S Hufflepuff."

Roriana smacked her forehead with the palm of her hand, "I totally forgot. I'll do it on Sunday, and turn it in on Monday."

"You're going to fail," Lily said in a sing-song voice that Roriana always found extremely irritating.

Lily and Roriana sat in the Gryffindor section as the two teams warmed up before the game. It was starting to get cold, and everyone was hugging their jackets around their bodies to keep warm.

"Look how well the can handle a stick," Roriana said with a suggestive eye wiggle that was lost on Lily.

"Yes, some of them are quite good at flying by this point."

"They ride the sticks awfully rough at times."

"Well, have you seen them dive, it's…" Suddenly realization dawned on Lily's face, "that's disgusting."

Roriana smiled and looked at the players' flying above her head. "Hey, Buckley!" She heard her name being called from the Quidditch pitch.

Roriana looked for the person who had shouted her name and she saw Sirius waving vigorously at her. He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "I better see you clapping, supposedly your good at it, no hands."

Roriana laughed as Lily gave her an odd look. When Roriana's laughter had settled down she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around to see Izzie Kenick, a Ravenclaw seventh year.

"Can I help you?" Roriana asked.

"Hello, I'm Izzie Kenick, President and co-founder of 'Sirius's Secret Lovers Guild.' May I have a word?"

Roriana looked at Lily with an expression asking, 'is she serious?' "If you want to talk to me, you're talking to me here."

Izzie looked around before sitting down next to Roriana. "I noticed that you and Sirius are interacting."

"Yes, we had detention together last night. Where is this going?"

"Well, as President of SSLG I can usually spot a Sirius Lover a mile away."

"Can you now?" Roriana asked, her left eyebrow cocked and her arms crossed over her chest. She was very amused and found it hard not to break out into a fit of laughter.

"Yes, so, I am extending an invitation out to you, to join our guild."

Roriana looked at Lily who was on the verge of laughing also, her face was red and she was biting her lower lip. Roriana leaned forward, placing her hand on Izzie's, "I am so glad you said that. Lily and I would love to join your guild."

"Really?"

"Of course, I feel like I need to vent about my feelings for Sirius. And I need another person that will understand. You see, while Lily here has her qualities she's just not as satisfying to talk about Sirius with because her door swings both ways, if you know what I mean." Roriana sighed dramatically, "and when she points out the girlish qualities in Sirius its like she's trying to make me not like him, so she can move in. Am I correct, Lily?"

Roriana turned to Lily with a pleading expression urging her to go with it. "She's right," Lily said finally. "I need more training, educate me, please!" To Roriana's pleasure Lily followed up her statement with begging eyes.

At first Roriana thought Izzie hadn't bought it because she sat still, playing with her hair. After a moment of thinking she snapped back to life, "brilliant! I'll put your name on the list. We meet Tuesdays and Thursdays in the library after dinner."

"Super!" Roriana said in a sugar coated voice. "I'll bring cookies with hearts that spell out Black's Lovers."

"Sounds fabulous, see you then."

Roriana waved goodbye to Izzie and Lily slapped Roriana's hand. "Ouch, that hurt."

"What was that about?!" Lily snapped.

"What do you mean?"

"My door swings both ways? We need to vent about Sirius? What have you gotten us into?!"

"C'mon Lily, don't tell me your not going to have fun with this, think of the possibilities! T-shirt, buttons, scarves, belt buckles, you name it, Sirius's face is on it."

"You sound like your creating a business."

"That is the best idea you've ever had, Lily!"

Lily opened her mouth to say something but she was drowned out by Madame Hooch's whistle, signaling the game was starting. Twenty minutes had passed and the game was stilled tied 0-0. No one was on Hufflepuff's end of the pitch and Roriana had a sudden erg to tease the goal keeper.

"Keeper, oh keeper," Roriana kept on chanting until she saw his eyes flick over to her briefly. "Keeper, why don't you ditch the pads and keep the stick!" Everyone that was in a close proximity to Roriana laughed loudly, the keeper's face having turned red. The moment was even sweeter when Sirius came charging towards the Keeper and faked right. When the keeper had fallen for the fake move Sirius threw it in the left hoop, scoring the first goal of the game.

"And Black has scored, putting Gryffindor in the lead!" Thom Hagins announced.

The Gryffindor side cheered loudly and stomped their feet against the bleachers causing it to shake. It was only five minutes later when it was announced, "And Potter has scored another goal, Gryffindor 10, Hufflepuff 0."

When James had made the goal he turned towards Lily and winked. Lily turned bright red and Roriana could tell she was embarrassed and flustered, but she tried to pull it off like she was mad.

"Potter, always showing off." Lily in a tone that was not very convincing.

Another thirty minutes had passed without anything happen but then suddenly Hagin's voice was heard once again, "Henry Wood and Amos Diggory are neck in neck for the snitch. This could be a close one." Everyone stood up as Wood and Diggory dove for the snitch, neither of them in the lead. It was silent as everyone held they're breathes, waiting for the final outcome…

"And Diggory has caught the snitch, Hufflepuff wins!"

The common room was silent as the Marauders sat in the corner, everyone watching them like a ticking bomb, just waiting to explode. Sirius was staring at the ground and cracking his knuckles repeatedly. James had his hands folded in his lap and his head resting on his folded hands. Remus (he was the keeper for the team) was reading a book, but his eyebrows were furrowed in a frown and his eyes weren't moving. Peter (not a member of the Quidditch team) was looking nervously between them and chewing on his thumb.

The tension in the room was so high that you could hear a feather drop. Roriana looked around the room, noticing everyone looked like they were walking on pins and needles. She sighed and pushed up from the chair she was currently sitting in. She walked up to the Marauders and stood in front of them with her arms crossed over her chest. She kicked Sirius in the shins (not hard enough as to where it would hurt, but hard enough as to where he would look up). At first he didn't move but then very slowly he lifted up his head, his eyes nothing short of anger.

"If you plonkers would stop wallowing in self pity I think we could actually have some fun," Roriana said in a commanding voice that gained everyone's attention. "Unless you would rather eat some chocolate and take a bath," she said in a patronizing voice.

"You're the plonker!" Sirius shouted as he stood up.

Roriana put a hand to her heart and feigned anger, "how will I ever recover?" She withdrew her hand from her heart and her face became as hard as stone. "Grab a jacket." She turned on her heel, grabbed Lily's arm and they marched upstairs, the Marauders gaping from her exit.