Hello people!

A new one-shot here for you :) I was listening to 'Dear God' by Avenged Sevenfold (a surprisingly calm song) and started writing this small fiction out of nowhere; it doesn't even really have a plot, just an idea that came from the song.

It's a bit sad and supposed to be AU; the POV is... let's say Gaara even if I wasn't thinking about him specifically... Oh, there might be a second chapter but nothing's guaranteed ^_^

Disclamer: I own nothing

Hope you all enjoy!

Ja ne,
Temari 88

MISSING YOU

by Temari 88

Chapter 1

Why is it? Why, when you miss someone, the time you feel it more is during the night…? Being so used to have you beside me – to have had you there for so long – brings me to ache in ways I would never have imagined. It hurts. It hurts and I feel my throat constrict every time I breathe in. Every day, without fail, I get out of bed… I dress myself for work… I drink my coffee (bitter, like always)… I take my car and drive to the office… then my shift ends and I go back home.

I still say "Tadaima", when I enter. Even if the house is empty of another human being, even if a fist of ice takes a hold of my heart squeezing tight – my voice echoes, alone, and I smile sadly, thinking how I wished you were here to cure me, because your presence is the only remedy to the illness that has stuck with me since that day…

Certain nights are tougher than others. I usually work myself to exhaustion and, though I know you wouldn't like it, those are the good nights because if I'm tired beyond capacity to remain conscious, I will not have the energy to dream – to see you when I close my eyes, to see your kind gaze on me, to see you smile – and if I don't dream, I will avoid the terrible pain that suffocates me when I open my eyes.

At night, all the thoughts I try to keep secluded, burst forward no matter how hard I wish for them to leave me alone; I don't want them: they would only worsen the miserable condition I'm in – and hope to hide – repeating over and over how I failed you. I'm sorry, I hope you know that. It is only the desire to see you again, sooner or later, that's restraining me from letting the bottomless dark claim me, for now.

I miss you so much and seeing your face as my eyelids close is both a blessing and a damnation… yet I wouldn't give it up for anything in this world.

My mind screams at me to just go back and continue our life together like nothing ever happened… but I can't. Even if every hour – every minute – that I pass away from you, a part of me dies. Still, this is a small sacrifice I'm willing to do, if it's enough to keep you alive and safe… I will never forgive myself for endangering you like I have done, so I hope you'll understand… because seeing you on that bed, surrounded by beeping machines, bruised and pale was worst than an accusing finger pointed at me. Worse, yes, for I know you would have forgiven me.

You got away with being with me, this time, but what about the future? I don't want to lose you – it's pure egoism, on my part – not this way, not because of me. You'll be safer, now that I'm gone and, please, try not to hate me for what I've done, for the suffering I'll put you through: I did it for your sake.

I had to leave you, even if love and devotion will always have your beautiful face.