I always knew it was coming. I saw the way she sipped her martini, the way she fluttered her eyes, the way she smiled so poignantly. I guess I always just thought she'd take me with her.

Karen and I had been having an affair for quite some time now. It was a routine. She would kiss Stan goodbye and come and meet me in a hotel room that she almost always paid for. If I didn't see her one-day, she would whisper in my ear how much she had missed me, I never really believed her.

One day her head was resting on my chest, her skin was so soft. "Do you ever want to just, leave?" she asked very matter-of-factly. I thought for a moment and said, "Doesn't everyone?" I ran my fingers through her hair and she appeared to be concentrating on something. "I want to leave," she said. She sat up and looked at me. "And go where?" I ask, although I think we both knew it didn't matter where, as long as it was far away form New York, from responsibility, age, commitments and everything that our life had consisted of this far.

I wanted to go with her, I really did.

"We should go somewhere, just, you and me get away for awhile, what do you think? We can tell Gracie and Jack we have business," I say. She smiled insincerely and took my hand in hers almost playfully and said without looking me in the eye, "I didn't mean for awhile, and I didn't really mean us, Will."

I sat up too.

"Hmm," I said. "You mean leave? You would do that to me? You would leave me here?" She looked ashamed now and I really didn't intend to that to her, of course I didn't and she said, "No I guess not," not very convincing. "I just want you to be happy Kare," and that was the end of that conversation. I had hoped it was just a little phase she was going through and that she didn't really want to leave me, I didn't know if I could live without her, as dramatic as that sounded.

I walked into my apartment, Grace and Jack were cooking in the kitchen, or attempting to. Don't get me wrong, I love them both dearly, but nothing they say interests me. Does that sound bad? It's like, I've already heard everything they possibly have to say. Grace tells me a story about something that happened to her at the grocery store today and I fake smile and nod, while thinking about Karen.

"So, you have been working late a lot lately," noted Grace. I chuckled nervously. "Yeah, it's been really busy around the office lately," Grace thought for a minute and then said with no irony, "Yeah Karen has been leaving early lately, I mean that isn't very unusual, but she has been leaving coincidentally at the same time… I wonder where she is going," she looked at Jack who shrugged.

"Ah, she is probably going off to some bar to patronize the alcohol flow," they laughed and I slapped myself on the inside for making such a remark about the most important person in my life. I had to though, have to keep them stupid, (Which didn't take much, actually…hmm, that was mean too…. I think, oh well.

"Are you hungry?" asked Grace. It was a nice gesture, I don't know why I had to be rude, but I say, "You cooked? Not anymore I'm not." She made a funny face, I don't think I hurt her feelings; she thought I was kidding after all.

I don't know why I have to be sarcastic and rude, maybe it's just due to years of pretending to enjoy the conversation, day after day of fake smiles and laughs…I was never actually interested in conversation anymore and I didn't even realize it until I started talking to Karen…it was odd. I began talking to her and everything anyone else thought about saying seemed half as important. She didn't have to say anything at all… she was still more interesting.

How did we begin…Karen and I, that is? Hmm, well I had walked into Grace's office to find Karen crying. It was a very rare phenomenon. She had quickly attempted to wipe her tears but I just walked up and held her hand. I never asked her why she was crying; I didn't really need to. She stood up to get some tissues from Grace's desk, but I didn't move and she ended up being too close to my mouth to resist a kiss.

Our lips touched and I felt her pull away a tad but I didn't back off. She leaned into the desk and it backed up a little. I put my hand on her cheek, her soft cheek. "Will, I can't," she said softly. "Yes you can," I told her and she didn't question it ever again. I heard the service elevator coming up so I backed off of her. Grace walked in. "Hey Will! Karen did anyone call?" I laughed to myself a little because while we were kissing someone had called and she had picked it up and hung it up.

"No honey, no one called," she resisted eye contact with me, at first I thought it was out of shame, what we had done, but later on she told me that she was going to laugh if she saw I was holding back as well. I thought that was sweet, she was sweet… underneath it all.

"So what are you doin here Will?" I thumbed through all of her things; I picked up a post it and a pen. "Ah, wanted to see if you wanted to go out to dinner, I thought you would be closing up soon," she didn't notice me writing, she was too busy with whatever she was doing, which happened often. "Sure, give me two minutes."

Fifteen minutes later she was putting her shoes back on…she said the interfered with her work…

I slipped Karen the post it, who took it seductively, I peeked back to see if she was reading it, she was.

I won't tell you what it said…it was just for her…but the next day we were on the Palace Hotel Suite floor panting for breath. Her mouth hungrily overpowered mine; I've never felt more needed, more accepted.

That was it, we've been lovers from then on. No one would expect it so no one asked… it was perfect. I loved not having to explain my actions to several dimwitted people, why should I have to? I shouldn't! Yeah… Anyways, that was it. From then on we were secretly inseparable. It was improbably riveting…

My heart broke a little the day she said she wanted to leave. I didn't know what to say. Obviously I didn't mean as much to her as she did to me…. if that was the case she wouldn't be able to live a day without me. I tried to tell her that I could go with her, that I would leave everything for her, my home, my job, my friends…because if I didn't have her, everything else was pointless.

She didn't hear me.

It was like I was on mute or something, nothing got through. She would just say… "I have to Will, you don't understand," and I wouldn't argue with her, because she was always right, she always knew what to do…even if I didn't understand it, I knew she was right.