Disclaimer: Why would I write fanfiction if I owned Naruto?
A/N: I've been busy with Baby Boom, so I haven't posted any one-shots lately. I'm sorry about that, and I'll try to get the chapters done faster so I have more time to write ficlets.
In completely unrelated news, I just saw a sneak preview of Transformers the day before yesterday. It was pretty good, and the special effects were amazing. I'm glad that Starscream was in it, although I wish that they had put Hotshot in as well. I won't say anything more, since I don't want to spoil it, but if you were unsure about whether or not you want to see it when it starts, then I hope that my opinion helps you make up your mind. I'm actually going to see it again when it starts showing.
As a bit of a warning, this chapter contains some OOCness. However, since it takes place in the future, I figured that Hinata would have gotten over a lot of her timidity.
His foe, his greatest enemy, lay before him. He couldn't back down, he couldn't go against his ninja way, but he longed to cower at the mere sight of it. His hand trembled slightly as he hesitantly reached forward…
…And grabbed a pen.
"I hate paperwork." Uzumaki Naruto, Rokudaime Hokage and the only ninja to ever surpass the Yondaime, moaned.
It was another beautiful day in Konohagakure. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Iruka was making his more mischeivious students run extra laps... and Naruto was stuck at his desk, filling out forms and stamping sheets.
As the blonde adjusted his special, ultra-cool, awesome, pointy Hokage hat that he never, ever, ever took off—most people just called it a hat, but he thought that his name was much cooler—so that he could see the multitude of forms and reports with greater ease, the door opened. He looked up, hoping against hope for a chance at escape. His heart plummeted when, instead, a pile of papers even taller than the one already on his desk was carried in.
"More?!" He yelped, on the verge of breaking down and crying from despair." Where is it all coming from, Hinata?"
"This stack is from last months negotiations with Iwagakure and Kumogakure." Uzumaki Hinata, his wife of fifteen years, answered, dropping the sheets alongside the rest of his paperwork. His desk groaned slightly under the new weight, and Naruto paled.
Hinata gave him a quick peck on his whiskered cheek, and he managed a grin, despite his obvious distaste at the sight of the mounds of forms, files, and sheets. However, the smile lasted only a moment, and was replaced by a look of complete and utter confusion.
"Wait..." He said. "What negotiations?"
"You know, the ones that turned into a fight over trading rights?" She prompted, smiling slightly at the bewildered look on her husbands face. He was so cute; it made her want to kiss him again. But she knew from experience that doing so would just distract him, and he'd never get any of his work done if he was distracted. "You remember how you punched two of Raikage-sama's teeth out, and how Tsuchikage-sama's nin-dog almost bit off your leg?"
"Oh, yeah!" He said, grimacing as he rubbed the aforementioned limb. "That really hurt."
Naruto paused for a moment, and a mischevious smirk slid across his face, the very same smirk that he had often worn during his prankster days. He looked up at her, masking the smirk with a falsely innocent expression. "Will you kiss it and make it better?"
Years ago, she would have stammered something unintelligible at best, and at worst she would have fainted. Now, she merely blushed slightly and shook her head. "After you finish these forms. Remember, they have to be filled out in triplicate, and the deadline's tomorrow."
Naruto buried his head in his hands. Or rather, he tried to, but ended up knocking off his hat, which promptly flew out the window to land on an all too familiar white-haired head.
"Jiraiya-sama?" Hinata squeaked.
"Ero-sennin?" Naruto yelped at the same moment. His eyes narrowed dangerously. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?!"
"Spying on you two." The toad sage replied, matter-of-factly. He looked faintly annoyed. "Now stop messing around and start messing around. I need to do research for my next book: Icha Icha Office."
"ERO-SENNIN!" Naruto yelled, running over to the window. "KEEP MY WIFE OUT OF YOUR PERVERTED BOOKS!!"
"So, you want to be in them with somebody else?" Jiraiya asked thoughtfully. A grin—no, a leer—appeared on his face. "I didn't know you had it in you, Naruto! I guess you really did learn something from me, after all!"
"That's not—I meant—" Naruto stammered, much as his wife had once done.
"I can see it now!" The old pervert cried enthusiastically, hurriedly scribbling on his notebook. "A couple, once in love but now finding their relationship in trouble. The husband begins to look to his beautiful blonde—"
"Blonde?" Hinata asked before she could stop herself.
"Pink haired, then—secretary for what his wife can no longer give him. The wife, despite hearing rumors, cannot believe that her beloved would do such a thing. But, when she walks in on her husband and his secretary, she finds herself running into the arms of…" Jiraiya paused, considering his next words. A grin crossed his face, and Naruto and Hinata exchanged uneasy looks. "…His darkly mysterious best friend, whose goal in life is to avenge the death of his family by—"
"Ero-sennin…" Naruto said, his voice quiet. Jiraiya felt a chill race down his spine. "I'll give you a three second headstart. One…"
Jiraiya paled. "Wait, Naruto, can't we talk about this?"
"Two…"
The sannin ran for his life. Naruto gave an evil smile as he jumped onto the windowsill. "Three!"
"Wait!" Hinata interrupted, grabbing his sleeve. The blonde almost lost his balance on the ledge.
"What is it?" He whined, looking after the swiftly vanishing speck that was his former teacher. "I need to go kill Ero-sennin!"
"Iie." His wife said sternly, dragging him back into the room. Naruto was seriously starting to regret encouraging her to train under Tsunade with Sakura and Ino. "You have to finish this paperwork."
"But—"
"I'll tell Tsunade-sama about what Jiraiya-sama's up to." She promised, steering him towards his desk. He shuddered at the sight of the mound of papers, which almost seemed bigger than it was before. But that was impossible… wasn't it? "You just finish up here and head home. I'll be waiting for you, and I'll even make miso ramen for dinner, okay?"
"Hai!" He agreed eagerly, giving his wife a quick kiss and grinning as she blushed. "What would I do without you, Hinata?"
"You'd do your best." The woman assured him with her soft, gentle smile. "After all, that's what you do now."
"Right!" Naruto agreed with a grin. Hinata left, and the Rokudaime turned to survey the mountain of forms.
"Okay, it's definitely gotten bigger…" He decided, frowning thoughtfully. Then, he paled, falling out of his seat as he scrambled to get away from what he was seeing. "HOLYCOWITMOVED! IT'S ALIVE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!"
"Die, fiendish documents from the netherworld! DIEDIEDIE!!"
Several clients and foreign dignitaries stared at the door to the Hokages office, from beyond which maniacal laughing could be heard accompanying what sounded like a lawnmower. The chunin guard didn't even look up from her magazine.
"Um…" One of the businessmen finally broke the semi-silence. "Is everything… alright in there?"
"Hm?" The chunin glanced over at the speaker. "Sure, why wouldn't it be?"
"Well, the noise…"
"It's just Hokage-sama doing paperwork." She said, going back to reading. "This happens every day."
"JIRAIYA!"
A white haired man wearing the Hokage's pointy hat suddenly ran past, then jumped out of the window. A blonde woman—who not only destroyed the aforementioned window, but also tore down the entire wall that it was attached to—followed him. "GET BACK HERE YOU PERVERT!"
There was silence once again, save for the sound of paper shredding from behind the Hokage's door. The foreigners exchanged nervous looks, and several of them discreetely fled.
"That happens every day, too." The triangular hat fell through the destroyed wall, landing on the ground by the chuunin's desk. She closed her magazine, and picked it up with a sigh. "It's just another beautiful day in Konohagakure."
A/N: Did you know that every review goes to inspire uninspired authors?