SquallxCloud OTP will be continued soon enough. Meantime, here is yet again more silliness which you can thank Damion for inspiring.
"He needs a pet."
Squall, Tifa and Aerith collectively looked up and at Yuffie in silent surprise. Cloud was to turn a year older by the end of the month, and the four of them had sat in a huddle to ponder on a present of sorts. The blond was always so quiet; too quiet, even, and between the more talkative Tifa and the reluctantly participating Squall, there was still very little information to go on about what their friend was more partial towards. They had gone from candy to trinkets, cards to notes, surprise parties to secret by-the-fire reminiscing that the adults seemed so fond of. And just as they were at the end of the line, Yuffie had piped up with her thoughts.
A pet. Why didn't they think of that sooner?
Simple.
"If Cloud's mother sees him walk in with an armful of mangy fur in his hands, she'll flip," Squall deadpanned, effectively smacking the idea hard on its rear.
"A bird, then!"
"Need I remind you of that spring-cleaning incident with the dust covers, the vacuum cleaner, the three porcelain vases, the hysterical screaming, and the feathers that were just everywhere?" this earned a collective flinch from three out of four children.
"… How about a goldfish? That's easy-"
"He had a goldfish, Yuffie," Tifa countered gently. "It died within a week."
Yuffie pouted, as she slumped dejectedly. Aerith reached over and drew her into a comforting hug. "It's a good idea, Yuffie. The best one we had so far," she reassured the little girl. "We just need to find the right pet…
"…right, Squall?"
And the brunet tensed, staring hard at the girls that now had their eyes on him. "…me? Why me?"
"You have connections! You'd know what to look for and where to get it!"
"What connections? It's a flipping computer that talks back to me and calls me 'World'!"
"Come on, Squall," Tifa pleaded. "Don't you want to get Cloud a nice friend?"
"I thought we were his friends!"
"A friend beside his friends, silly!" Aerith insisted. "Someone he can hug and love and trust completely with all his deepest darkest secrets for the rest of his life."
Squall raised his brow sardonically. "…are we getting him a pet, or a wife?"
"Aha! So you agree to getting him a pet!"
"I never said that!"
Despite all his vehement protesting, Squall still found himself pressured into the task. Grudgingly accepting his fate, he had returned to the castle, and sought permission from his mentor to surf the knowledge database. Ansem – despite being as busy as usual – obliged him readily, and now here he was, in the room brimming with the mess known as technology as he activated a switch.
"HELLO WORLD!!"
"Shut up, Tron," Squall retorted darkly, as he glared daggers at the bright green words that flashed across the screen momentarily. At last, as the activation preload cleared, he stated his demand in a clipped, authoritative voice: "Access knowledge database. Clearance Code five-five-four-seven-two."
In a whirl of figures that lit up the screen, a long list presented itself to him. At the next command for search options, he started narrowing down further and further, watching the choices drop steadily in number.
At last, he was down to five. Now for the clincher.
"Add rank factor – zero to low maintenance."
Figures swirled once more, and then the list presented itself. Squall studied the very first option presented to him, and a satisfied smile made its way onto his face.
…perfect.
Cloud felt a little slighted, to say the least. For the past several days, he had seen less and less of the only other boy in his group of peers. There was just so few children in Radiant Garden, and with Zack gone for boot camp, he was now left with the girls to hang out with. It was grating on his nerves, and he missed spending time with someone who did not care about what was messy or dangerous when it came to scaling cliffs and rooftops for excitement.
But as it was, Squall was on a disappearing spree. Every time Even or Merlin released them from classes for the day, the brunet would give some form of excuse or another, and Cloud would not see him again until their physical training sessions with Captain Aeleus. And each time Squall returned from another moment of spiriting away, Cloud noticed that – without fail – the boy's usually immaculately clean white shirt would be sweat-soaked and covered with dirt; that had earned him several warnings from reproachful teachers, but he never really talked about it. And as the month was drawing to a close, Cloud was fed up with it all, and about ready to just ambush the other boy and throttle him until he explained himself.
He never got the chance – on the day his mother greeted him with a special breakfast comprising of all his favorite foods, and informed him that his friends would be coming by soon, any thought of throttling anybody went out the window. Too many people to disapprove of public acts of violence. Eventually, Squall and the girls showed up, and Cloud blinked in surprise as a small box with holes was held out to him almost gently. And the fact that it was an excited Yuffie who was displaying such gentleness, he became a little more worried.
"Don't shake it," Aerith cautioned, as all of them sat down with the box in Cloud's lap, "you might hurt it."
"…hurt it?" Cloud dared to clarify, now aiming a rather wary stare at the box. "What is it?"
"We don't know, either," Tifa answered. "Squall picked it out for you, and had it wrapped up on his own. It'll be a surprise for all of us."
Cloud leveled a stare at the brunet, who calmly returned it without a hint of malice.
"…it won't explode or anything, right?" in answer, Squall shook his head.
"It's not supposed to. Go on."
With a little more persuasion, Cloud finally started to undo the ribbon that held the lid in place. It came undone, flopping across his legs in a deflated looking "X", and he took hold of the lid. Slowly, still harboring a hint of fear of the unknown object, he wiggled the lid loose, and lifted it away completely. As his eyes fell upon the box's single resident, the lid fell from his suddenly lifeless hands and hit the carpet with a muted "thud". The girls curiously leaned forward, as Cloud – wide-eyed – slowly reached down with one hand, and scooped up the box's contents into his hand with a surprising gentleness. As it came into view of all, they saw it in all its splendor: it was small, and fit perfectly in the palm of Cloud's hand. It had a dark sheen of mottled black and dark gray, and it was still. Very still.
As a matter of fact, it was completely inanimate.
The girls gaped for a moment, and then Tifa jumped to her feet and seized Squall by the back of his shirt collar. With a hasty assurance that they only needed a moment, she hauled the older boy out the door, Aerith and Yuffie trailing behind. Cloud did not notice them go, as he stared morosely at the still form he still cupped in his hand.
It was a present like none other, and from the boy who knew him like no one else did.
It was…
"…a ROCK?! Are you INSANE?!"
Squall was on his rear end on the pavement just a few houses away from Cloud's home, with a greatly incensed Tifa hovering over him. Aerith and Yuffie were on the sidelines – mercifully – but they too shared expressions of bewilderment at the revelation. The boy frowned, not understanding at all what they were on about.
"What…? What's wrong with it?" he retorted in his self-defense. "Tron listed pet rocks as quite common choices of companion. They're not just low maintenance – they're zero maintenance. Also, they're immortal. It was a good choice as I could find, what's the problem?"
"The problem, Squall Leonhart, is that IT'S A ROCK!" Tifa snapped into the older boy's face, causing him to fall upon his elbows now as she suddenly bore down upon him. "What kind of idiot thinks to get his best friend any old rock off the streets as a pet?!"
"Hey!" Squall protested. "That rock took me days to procure! I had to find one that was the right toughness, the right texture, the right color, and the right size! That took effort, that took hunting; I had to climb up and down four cliffs along the canyon just to find it-!"
"IT'S A ROCK!"
"Well, then it's the best darndest rock I've ever come upon!"
"Tifa! Squall! Stop it!" Aerith interjected herself between the two, effectively breaking up the argument. "There's still time – maybe we can find him something else…?"
Tifa glared at the boy who just glared back, and then she backed off. "That black military shirt he liked is still in the shop; we should be able to get it. As for you," and she jabbed an accusing finger at Squall, "You're going back and apologizing to him. Hop to it!"
When Squall returned to find Cloud, all he found was the empty box that had been discarded on the carpet. Cloud's mother informed him that the young blond had taken his present outside somewhere only a few minutes ago, and would still be within the area. After some thought, Squall narrowed down his options, and soon found his friend sitting half-hidden behind a bush. The boy's back was to a fence, and he was still gently holding the rock in his hands.
"…hey, Cloud?"
Cloud looked up, and grinned as Squall joined him behind the bush. Testing the weight of the rock in his hand, he held it out once more.
"So…you were the one who picked this out for me, huh?" receiving a nod, his grin widened. "It's great; thanks."
"I thought you'd like it; the girls are mad at me, though."
They were silent, as Squall waited for Cloud to speak, and Cloud waited for something else. Finally, there was the sound of a door opening and closing, and both boys turned to spot a familiar middle-aged man stepping outside with a cigarette.
"…wanna see something interesting?" at Squall's questioning gaze, Cloud tilted his head back to indicate the rock. "I taught him to attack and return. Watch this."
Before Squall could even think of stopping the younger boy, Cloud swung his arm out, and the rock went sailing through the air. With a loud clatter, it crashed against the wall of the house, the windows it barely missed shuddering from the force. There was a loud oath as the cigarette fell to the ground. A boot smashed out the cinders before the man marched right up to the rock and grabbed it in an instant.
"You bloody little miscreant! I told you once, I told you twice, I told you ten times! Stop it with the rock, or I'm coming after you and hitting you so hard your GRANDMOTHER will feel it! DO YOU GET ME?!"
And the rock came sailing back. Awestruck, Squall silently followed the rock's arc as it landed easily in Cloud's waiting hands.
"…cool, huh?"
"…that was amazing," Squall concurred.
"The best. Thanks for picking him out for me," and Cloud paused, now smiling fondly down at the rock that was cradled between two palms. "I think Zeke and I are going to get along just fine."
Squall blinked, and he too stared down at the rock, though with a more incredulous and stupefied expression.
"… Zeke?"
The rock did not dignify the outburst with any response.
You brought this upon yourself, Damion. You never, never should have uttered the words "pet rock" to me while mocking my ideas about Cloud's puppies.