"Al, I'm reading here. It would probably go a lot better if I didn't have a big, flat steel plate in my face. Not that there is anything wrong with steel. As far as steel faces go, you got a pretty good one. I like that ziggy zaggy pattern you have for a mouth; it's really cool and intimidating. When I'm trying to be intimidating I image you and your big ziggy zaggy mouth that kind of looks like rows of pointy teeth. The glowing eyes help, too. On the whole, on the scale of intimidation, you're probably like a plus thousand or something, and as amazing as that makes you? I still don't want you in my face while I'm trying to read. So, could you back off a little, and don't take that as an insult or anything," Ed glanced up at his sibling's big steel face hovering just over the edge of his book.
Not only did the big, steel face plate not retreat, but a big craggy leather gauntlet raised and one of it's fingers pointed in the vicinity of Ed's nose.
"You have something on your face, brother," Al said. "It's something I think I've read about. It's right there, in that crevice where your nose meets your cheek."
"Yeah?" Ed said, swiping at his nose with the back of his glove. "What is it?"
"I believe the medical term is 'acne'," Al said, pressing in again, getting his face plate to almost touching his brother's nose. "Also know as comedo, papule, pustule, nodule and sometimes, cyst. I think it really depends on the infestation as to what you call it. I was reading some biology texts the other day, and happened to think about what it might be like to have a skin condition. I imagine it can range from embarrassing to slightly painful. So it's really serendipitous you have one now. I want to know in detail what it's like."
"You're saying I have a face thing and you want me to give you a detailed account of what it's like to have a face thing. Is this what I'm hearing? I don't know Al, why in the hell do you care if I have this thing on my face, whatever it is," and Ed scrubbed at his nose with the back of his glove now, "maybe you should just be lucky you can't get face things. Leave off, I'm reading."
"You would think, on the whole, I would be content with the fact I can't get acne, seeing as acne can lead to scarring if mismanaged. And even with this whole stigma attached to it, I still think that in some ways it's a rite of passage. It's one of those great mysteries of the flesh and blood experience that I'm just missing out on. Sometimes, I try to remember what bodily functions were like. I remember that there iwere/i sensations contributed to the firing of nerves, but in the end the whole thing eludes me. I watch you for reactions to see if I can keep a stringent grip on what I think they might have felt like, so you know, I'm not iunprepared/i when I do get my body back. I would hope that having a body is like riding a bicycle, you know, once you learn you never forget," Al said, finally sitting back and folding his arms.
"What do you mean scarring? I don't feel anything," Ed said, molesting his nose. "Look, if I could give you this whole experience you're talking about, with the weird hairs and the cramps and all the general...iurges/i that having a body at this age comes with, I'd give them to you. You know that, Al. I guess if you wanna suffer this hormonal hell vicariously through me, who am I to stop you? I'll make you a journal on my infirmities, would that satisfy you?"
"I just think, what if I get my body back and it's adult? I would hope, wherever my body is, that it's still growing and then I'll have this adult body and do you think I'll be socially awkward because I didn't have all the adolescent foibles? Do you think society, on a whole, would ostracize me because I didn't have to face the same chemical changes they did? That I missed out on all the gawkiness and paranoia that comes with being a flesh and blood teenager?"
"You think about this way to much," Ed said, resting the end of the book on the table and rocking it back and forth. "First off, who the hell is gonna know? I mean no one is going to look at you, once you're flesh and blood again and think: 'Wow, that guy hasn't been in his skin long'. That's not going to happen. Instead of worrying about biological functions your missing out one, oh like, have the runs, why don't you focus on the good things you have right at this moment? You're shiny. I like that. I think it's really cool that you're all shiny and shit. And you're...well it's armor for a big man, so you're kinda buff and all..."
"You chickened out on calling me tall," Al said.
"Shuddup. And you don't care if the weather is hot or cold, big plus. You can't get hurt by stubbing your toe, and that is a bitch. You don't get hangnails. You don't fart in public, that really seems to tick the Colonel off especially if he's trying to show me off. Gah, I mean, it's not like I'm doing it on purpose..overly. You really don't have to worry about trying to jump over a fence and landing straddled over the top of it instead," Ed shifted uncomfortably. "Trust me, that is something you ireally/i want to miss out on."
"I suppose you have valid points," Al said. "But you also have this thing on your face and I think it might be getting bigger just in the course of our conversation." Al leaned in again, raised his big leather finger and wiggled it up and down. "Maybe you should do something about it, or rather let me do something about it because I'm the one that has read up on it. I really don't think you should just go around looking like that. It's mildly disgusting."
"It can't be that bad," Ed said, "...can it?" He felt up his nose again. "How bad is it? I gotta go report in soon, I don't want you know, the Colonel to torture me about it. You think it's that noticeable?"
"I'm not one to say, after all, you said I should be disregarding bodily functions for the time being, seeing as how I don't have one," Al said, studying his non-existent nails and doing that back and forth thing with one of his feet making griding noises on the floor.
"Oh come ON," Ed said, dropping the book flat on the table and leaning back in his chair, letting his head hang back and his arms hang at his side. "Al don't be like that. You know I didn't mean it like that. Why you gotta be like that? You know you aren't suppose to be the one to give me shit, that's the Colonel's job."
"Be like what? After all, I have no basis for comparison. Talking about someone else's acne isn't something that comes up in conversation. I mean, I don't go and say for instance: 'Hey look, So and So has a big blemish on the side of their nose, they should do something about that so they don't embarrass themselves in public, don't you agree?' It's not a topic that gets brought up, so how am I suppose to know the social niceties of facial disfigurement?"
Ed lifted his head to stare at his brother a moment, then he leaned forward suddenly, reaching out to grab Al's arm on the table and pull him close. This accomplished he stares at Al's chest plate and turned his face slowly back and forth, wiggling his nose in tandem.
"Am I shiny enough for you to see the rotting flesh where your nose use to be?" Al said mildly.
Ed shoved back and then slammed his hands on the table top, getting to his feet.
"I know what you're doing and it isn't going to work," Ed growled. "Now, I gotta go report in, I'll see iyou/i back at the dorms later. You're own brother, Al, you gotta do that to your own brother. You should be ashamed," Ed admonished as he walked away.
"That familial connect you're talking about comes with iflesh and blood/i," Al called after him.
"I admit, this is new," the colonel said, elbows on desk, fingers laced, chin resting on top of them. "I can't wait to hear this one. So tell me Fullmetal...why the mask?"
"It's an experiment pertaining to image," Ed said causally from behind the half-face mask. "The Xingian's wear them. Ling's she-killer had one with all these fancy swirls on it, I opted for plain black. I think it radiates an aura of authority."
"No, really," the colonel smirked, "why the mask, Fullmetal?"
"You can't tell me that you don't look at me right now and feel some kind of mysterious awe," Ed continued. "Just pretend you don't know me and you see me on the street in this mask. Pretend that for a minute, I want your honest feedback because I'm making a chart..." Ed waved his hand.
"My honest feedback would be that the aura I was feeling off of you was not authoritative and then, based on that, I would contact the actual authorities about a possible bank robber," Roy said. "Really, I'm not impressed."
"What does it take for a guy to impress another guy?" Ed asked with a half flail.
"For the guy to stop wasting military budget on pointless data, no wait, that is standard military operandi, but I expect better from iyou/i, take off that mask, sit down and tell me all about your latest mission," the colonel said.
"I'll just...conduct my experiment until the end of the day," Ed grumbled approaching the desk. "Tomorrow I'll just compile what I have," he said, slouching into the chair.
The colonel gave him a wry look, but shook his head and opened a file on his desk. "Anytime you're ready, Fullmetal," he said. He looked up at a noise in the hall, Ed craned his neck back to look at the open doorway of the office.
Al ventured to it, stopped, raised his hand as if to tap on the door even though they were both looking at him. He made a small half wave and waited the colonel's invitation to step in.
"Come on in, Alphonse," the colonel said. "I'm sure you know the man in the mask," Roy gestured vaguely at another chair. "You're input would be most helpful in a advisory capacity if you care to give it," Roy looked up and gave Al a smirk. "Maybe your brother has decided to emulate you. He seems to think being expressionless equals formidable. You would be the expert there I think."
"What gives Al, what are you doing here?" Ed immediately complained. "I thought I told you to go back to the dorms! You don't have to show up here and make this bastard's job any easier. You know, you should make him pay for all the information you just fork over for nothing. He hasn't got a collar on you, I'm trying to keep you out of this as much as I can. You really should have just gone back to the dorms like I told you instead of being mr. tin-can know it all who's gotta follow me in here and try to one up me on my reports. You know, you do that a lot and it's kinda annoying."
Al reached over casually and flipped Ed's mask up and off the back of his head. He then grabbed Ed by the face with one hand and used a finger tip to push Ed's nose to one side with the other.
"Brother has a zit," Al said matter of factly to the colonel, then he dragged his finger down the crevice of Ed's nose, then released his face. "Now it's gone. I don't suppose you'll be needing my corroborative report now, I should go wait at the dorms because that's what he thinks I should do. I certainly wouldn't want to show him up after coming all this way to apologize for what I said earlier. No, can't have that. See you around, Colonel." Al gave a little wave, turned and walked out the door, make a sharp left turn and went down the hall.
Ed sat rigid and it really didn't even look like he was breathing. The colonel closed the file on his desk and sat his pen back in it's holder.
"I suppose you'll want to wait this report for a day or so?" the colonel asked. Ed's eyes tracked to him, but Ed didn't move his head. "I would really like Al's input, it's usually much more cohesive and ties up the loose ends on your own," the colonel continued. Ed gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.
"Alright then, in a day or so. You know I'm going to laugh my ass off at you the moment you walk out the door, so I suggest you go on and wash your face and try not to antagonize your little brother in the future," the colonel said.
Ed bolted from the room.