Author's Warning: Like everything else, this takes place in my series, set up by the events in my first story "More Than My Friend" where the big event is that Frankie adopts Mac as her "little brother". If you haven't read that story yet, I strongly suggest you do so now, or else you might get terribly confused.
"Hey, pal!" The redheaded young woman discarded the broom in her hands almost the instant a small, brown-haired little boy plodded through the front door and into Foster's expansive foyer.
"Hey Frankie!" Mac beamed the instant he spotted her. Without further ado he promptly shed his backpack as Frances "Frankie" Foster dropped to her knees just in time to be enveloped in a tight hug from the child.
"Welcome home, kiddo!" she laughed as she threw her arms around Mac in a warm squeeze. "Did you have a good day at school?"
"Yeah, it was pretty good!" he chirped. "Especially right at the end of the day, because right before Goo went to dance practice, we were-"
Before he could get in another word, the air suddenly was rent with the piercing shriek of a whistle. The second the hideous racket assaulted their eardrums, both boy and caretaker promptly let go of each other and clamped their hands tightly over their ears in an attempt to blot out the painfully loud clamor. A heartbeat later, a small blobbish figment suddenly wormed his way right between them.
"Nuh-uh! No!" Bloo yelled sternly, paused to blow sharply on his cheap plastic whistle again, and without further ado, began to try and actually separate the two. "That's enough! Break it up you two! Show's over! Let's go! Let's go! Move it people, move it!"
"Hey! Hey! Quit it! Ow! Ow!" Frankie yelped as the little imaginary friend slapped her arms. "Quit it!"
"Bloo, knock it off!" Mac snapped as he was forcibly shoved away. "Stoppit it! Ow! Knock it off with the slapping! Seriously, what are you doing now?"
"I'm doing everyone in this house a favor that's what!" Bloo growled. "C'mon, move it! Think you can get away with it again? No! You do not do that! Not on my watch! Not on my watch! There'll be no UDA's under my watch! I better see at least five feet of distance between the two of you, pronto! C'mon, let's go!"
"What?" The others exclaimed in shared bewilderment as Bloo nodded.
"You heard me! Think you can get away with your Unnecessary Displays of Affection? Pfft! Yeah, right! The mushiness ends today, you sickos!" he proclaimed with a scornful sneer.
"Excuse me?" Frankie exclaimed incredulously. "What are you talking about? Unnecessary? What's that supposed to even mean?"
"Don't play stupid with me!" Bloo barked. "Every day, it's nothing between you two but gross touchy-feely garbage! From good-morning-hugs to goodnight-kisses, just the same disgusting junk every day! Yuck!"
"Oh, for Pete's sake!" Frankie tossed her arms in the air in exasperation. "Are you actually serious?"
"Dead serious!" he snarled. "Oh yeah, you better believe it! I'm not gonna rest until-"
"You just have nothing better to do, that's probably what this is about!" the redhead countered with a groan. "For crying out loud Bloo…"
"And how can this bother you so much?" Mac demanded. "We're family, there's no law that says we can't-"
"There should be!" The imaginary friend objected flatly. "When you overexpose everyone to this kind of stuff every day, there should be! It's nothing but hugging and cuddling and gross stuff like that!"
"Knock it off!" Frankie made a face. "Blecch! You're talking about it like we're dating or…no, no, you did used to think that once! Remember, that time you convinced yourself we loved each other like….and now you….argh! Just what goes on in your head? Seriously, do you have any idea how unimaginably frustrating it is to live with you?"
"Do you have any idea how sickening you two are?" Bloo growled. "It's disgustingly sweet! It's just…it's just too cutesy! You guys can't be pried apart with the jaws of life!"
"Bloo, stoppit!" Mac snapped angrily. "This can't possibly bother you that badly!"
"You better bet your butt it does!" the blob scowled. "Yuck! All that fluffy warm familial contact, it's unbearable! It's intolerable! It's got to stop!"
"What, so I should be cold and distant to Mac for now on?" Frankie snarled sarcastically.
"If it has to come to that, then yes!" Bloo cried as he launched into a full-fledged rant. "I just can't take all the goopy mush I see every day! I can't! It's too adorable! Sometimes, I can't even keep my lunch down! Just now, with your cutesy hugging thing! On a scale of one to unnecessarily affectionate, that was like, a twelve!" "
"What?" Mac cried. "Bloo, that doesn't make any sense-"
"No more, you hear me?" The unyieldingly persistent blob hollered as he waved his stubby arms wildly. "No more! This all ends now, you hear me? I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired of dealing with this garbage every single day! It's time someone takes a stand! From now on, you guys are on twenty-four hour UDA watch! I don't want to see either of you be any warmer towards the other as much as you have to! If I see so much as one excess pat on the head, then trust me, you will hear about it! You got that? Am I clear? NO MORE!"
Bloo's little chest began to heave as he stopped to gulp in large gasps of air. While he recovered from his outburst, the others just stared at him wordlessly as they tried to make sense of his new crusade. As Mac simply tried to understand what was going on with his fanatical imaginary friend though, he failed to notice the distinct mischievous twinkle in Frankie's eyes as was suddenly struck with a burst of inspiration for how to deal with this nonsense.
"Oh….I get it now, I see what's going on here." She announced with a devious chuckle.
"…Wait…you do?" Mac inquired bewilderedly as he looked her way.
"You do?" Bloo clasped his blobbish stubs and asked hopefully with a smile.
"Of course!" Frankie chortled as she nudged Mac in the ribs. "Don't you get it, pal?"
"Uh…." The boy grunted dumbly.
"Oh, it's so easy! I've been giving you so much attention, and in the meantime…" The redhead lit up with a massive toothy grin that swept across her face from ear to ear the moment she turned her head and fixated her gaze upon an unsuspecting little imaginary blob. "….I've completely forgotten about our special lil' blob here."
"Yeah!" Bloo whooped with a little leap of joy. "Yeah, that's it, you got it! That's the….wait, huh? What the…"
"I'm Mac's guardian…and you're his imaginary friend." She reminded the befuddled little creature with a smirk. "Which if you don't remember, makes you just as much a member of the family."
"Huh?" Bloo grunted as he curiously cocked his head. "Wait…what?"
"And being just as part of the family as Mac is…" Frankie giggled deviously as she began to slowly crawl on her hands and knees towards him. "Means you get allllll the same perks."
"Huh? Frankie. What are you talking about? I….oh….oh! Oh, no!" The imaginary friend squealed in horror as soon as comprehension hit home. "Wait, don't tell me that…wait, wait! You're not gonna do what you think you're gonna….oh no, oh no…"
As the frightened figment attempted to back away, the caretaker just smiled in the manner of a crocodile about to strike.
"Aw, what's wrong? Is someone feeling a little left out? Does the sad widdle blobby need a huggy wuggy?" she cooed softly.
"YEEEK!" Bloo just screeched shamelessly as he wheeled about and attempted to flee. "No, no, wait, don't – AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGH!"
The second she lunged forward and easily caught him in a tight embrace, Bloo's shrill scream of revulsion reverberated throughout the expansive mansion all the way from the depths of the cellar to the attic.
"Gotcha!" Frankie threw back her head and snorted with laughter as she clambered to her knees and squeezed him close, much to the figment's intense horror.
"No! No! No! No! No! No!" he yelped over and over as he struggled like a fish trapped in a net. "No! Please, don't! Lemmego! Lemmego! Lemmego! Lemmego!"
"Why you gotta be like that, Bloo?" The redhead mock-pouted as she nuzzled him. "What's wrong sweetie?"
"Ew! Ew! Quit it! Quit it! Ew! Ew! Ew!" Bloo cried in repulsion. "For the love of everything decent, stoppit! Ew! Ew!"
"Oh, but I can't help it!" Frankie gushed shamelessly as she stroked his head. "You're just so cute when you're revolted! C'mere, you!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bloo hollered at the top of his lungs the instant she puckered up. Try as he might to escape, he was no match for her tenacious hold and had no choice but to receive a fat sloppy kiss on his forehead.
"Ackpth! Gross! Gross! Stop! Eeek!" he yelped as he continued to thrash about in total vain. "Yuck! Quit it! No! Ewie! Ewie! Bleah! Sick!"
"But you're just so adorable!" Frankie giggled deviously as she dished out a heaping helping of revenge. "I can't help it!"
"Blecch!" Bloo gagged as he continued to try and wench himself free from her doggedly tight embrace to no avail, which only forced made him panicky beyond words. "Ew! Somebody get me a crowbar! The jaws of life! A hammer to knock myself out with! Something!"
"Aw, my widdle Bwoo feeling a wittle sicky-wicky?" the girl babbled in a disgustingly sweet tone, forcing her captive to groan and clasp his stubs tightly over his acing gut.
"Now he is!" the little creature whined miserably. "Seriously, I think I'm gonna puke!"
"Poor Bwoo!" Frankie continued to coo, clearly enjoying the way he cringed in disgust every time she gently stroked his head. "Poor, poor widdle Bwooy-Bwoo! Him is feeling nasty-wasty, isn't he?"
"Stoppit!" Bloo begged once again as his stomach did a somersault. "Please, I-I seriously don't feel good anymore! Quit it! Qui it!"
The caretaker snickered deviously as she held him up and dangled him in front of her like a mother would an infant. "Who's my widdle blob? You are! You are! Yes you are! Gootchie-gootchie goo!"
"Ack! No!" Bloo wailed as she began to mercilessly tickle him under the chin. "Stop! Stop, you affectionate maternal witch! Stoppit!"
"My lil' blue baby!" the young woman tossed back her head and snorted with laughter before she began cradling him roughly while breaking out into song. "Hush lil' baby don't say a word, Frankie's gonna buy you a mocking bird…"
"No! No! AAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHH!" The imaginary friend wailed hoarsely as his renewed attempts to squirm free were all for naught. "No more! No more cutesiness! Please! Mercy! Mercy! Put me down! Put me down! Mac! Mac!"
"…Huh?" the little boy grunted from where he had been wordlessly watching the tremendously ridiculous scene unfold the entire time in stunned disbelief.
His creation glared pleadingly into his eyes and continued pleading frantically, "Help! Mac, please! Help! Help me! I'm begging you! Please!"
"I…uh…" the child stammered, looking severely unsure on how to approach so profoundly ludicrous a situation.
"Don't just stand there! Do something! Anything!" the frantic imaginary friend beseeched as Frankie began to nuzzle him again. "Help! Help! Hellllllllllllp!"
Mac paused for a moment as his fertile mind strove furiously to devise the best course of action. Fortunately, after mulling over his options for a couple seconds, the boy suddenly plastered on a goofy smile, tried to stifle a snigger, the dashed right into the muddle of caretaker and imaginary friend, and with one deft movement…
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bloo screeched at the top of his lungs in utter despair as his creator tossed his arms around the figment in nothing short of an affectionate squeeze.
"Family group hug!" Mac gleefully announced as he eagerly joined in on the playful torment.
"Yay!" Frankie cheered as she struggled like mad to hold back her laughter. "That's the spirit, pal! Spread the love! Awwwwwww!"
"Awwwwww!" the boy chimed along in his own jokingly mushy manner as together they hugged and jokingly cuddled their thoroughly revolted prisoner, who was so overwhelmed he actually started to dry heave.
"Sick! Sick! SICK!" Bloo managed to scream hoarsely as he was buried under a hail of over-the-top affection. "You're sick! You're sick! You're….no, you know what? You're the devil, Mac! You're the devil! You're the devil! Both of you, you're the devil! You hear me?"
"What's that, sweetie-poo?" Frankie giggled in pretend ignorance as she milked his displeasure for all it was worth. "You wuv us? Is that it? You wuv your famiwy? That's gweat, 'cuz we wuv you too! Isn't that right, Mac?"
"I think I'm gonna hurl…" the little creature whispered hoarsely as he went limp in defeat, though not without gagging so fiercely it looked like he was about to hurl in disgust. With resounding victory officially theirs, redhead and boy meanwhile flashed each other a jubilant smirk.
"Oh c'mon, Bloo." Mac snickered deviously as he prodded the queasy figment. "You have to admit, we do look pretty adorable together…"
The End
So, it's probably pretty clear that currently, I'm posting new stories a bit faster than I usually do. The thing is, I just found the flash drive that had most of the rough drafts of unposted oneshots (why I only saved them there, God only knows, as its possibly one of the dumbest things I've done.) So now, to make sure I don't lose them for good, I'm more or less uploading them as quickly as I can edit them to my liking.