Personal Freedom.
(Sam P.O.V.)
Before Stanford Sam had never been alone. Never alone. Dad and Dean were always there, forever hovering, always watching, continuously guarding, eternally protecting.
He hated it.
He wanted to get out of this life for just a bit. Wanted college, Stanford. Sam wasn't greedy or selfish, no matter what anyone said, he wasn't. He never really asked for anything for himself. If anyone had asked him then why he always demanded Dean's attention and Dad's interest in him the answer would have surprised them.
He wanted them to be happy. But, unfortunately, the path they were on did not really allow for it. So if he couldn't make his family happy then at least he could distract them from most recent problems. And for years it worked well for eighteen years. But it had no longer been enough for him. If he had stayed…
So for four years he worked hard at being a student, at learning how others worked. How to interact with others who were neither Hunters nor Others. But he never forgot who he was, what he was.
So when Dean came for him, four years after he had left, he was neither surprised, but he had been stunned on his appearance. Never before had Dean ever seemed so wary. And since when had Dad and Dean ever been on a solo hunts? Never happened before, never expected it. Dad never let them go alone; it was either DeanandSam, DadandDean, DadandSam.
Maybe he miscalculated and underestimated the impact of his departure would have on them.
But God Damn, he missed hunting, particularly with Dean. A Hunter's party, two parts working together better than alone. Knowing where one is and where they will be. The perfect team, SamandDean, DeanandSam.
After the hunt was over and Dean had left him at Stanford, Sam had planned on following him. Surprise him the next day by standing outside of the motel room, with a large bad of M&M's and a cup of coffee on each hand and an amused smile on his face.
"So what are we hunting this time, Dean." Would be the first thing he'd say.
Leaving Stanford would be easy. There was really nothing holding him there. Nothing, not even Jessica.
He loved Jessica but was not in love with her. Jessica was fun, great really, but she was not for him. And they both knew that. She had a sweetheart in the army, was waiting his return, and had needed him for protection against others who thought she may have been available, and he with her so that other's wouldn't make moves on him, so that he could live his normal life uncomplicated. They were friends. She would let him go.
Then she burned.