Chapter 1: Hating Myself

BPOV:

Have you ever felt like dieing? Like the world you knew was turned upside down? Well that was just the beginning for me. The year I turned sixteen was the year my parents divorced. Renee left and Charlie remarried. My stepmother Cassandra also has a son. His name is Stephan. Stephan has on occasion raped me, beat me and the list goes on. So from then I looked down at what I held in my arms and knowing I could never regret my happiness.

Present Day:

It's been two years sense my mom left. Many attemps to kill myself failed. So birth control was my best friend until that night. Everyone had gone out so I had the house to myself. I had no need to take my birth control. But I was so very wrong. Stephan came through the door drunk and high. I ran up the stairs to lock myself in the bathroom but he caught me. He carried me into Charlie and Cassandra's room. Most likely for the bigger bed. He layed me down and started taking off his pants. I quickly ran off the bed only to be through into the wall. I picked myself off the floor.

Stephan: "Where are you going honey? I haven't had my fun in a month."

Bella: "Stephan please how about we finish this tomarrow?"

Stephan: "No you will make me happy."

He stripped me and I couldn't fight him no more so I let him have his fun.

1 Hour later..

He was finally asleep and I went to shower. I felt so discussed with myself for letting it happen. For once I hope he wore a condom because if he didn't I hope I didn't end up pregnant.

Two weeks later…

I woke every morning for two weeks to throw up my food from the night before. My period was a week late and I was having trouble at school for all the boys. I was on lunch when Jessica came up to me.

Jessica: "Hey Bella"

Bella: "Hey Jess, what's going on?"

Jessica: " Nothing did you hear we have a new family stating tomarrow?"

Bella: "No I didn't why?"

Jessica: " Just wondering so you still going to the dance next month?"

Bella: "No Jess is there a point for this?"

Jessica: "No I will see you later."

She left without another word. The only thing I was worried about was if I was pregnant. Curiousity was getting the best of me. After school was done I got into my truck and drove to Port Angeles. I stopped at the local drug store bought a pregnancy test and drove home. When I got there Cassandra's BMW was in the driveway. Great I thought. I walked intothe house.

Cassandra: "Stephan is that you?"

Bella: "No it's me."

Cassandra: "Oh Bella I was wondering where you went after school?"

Bella: "None of your business Cassandra. I'm eighteen I can take care of myself."

Cassandra: "well anyway your father is gone for three days for work in Port Angeles."

Bella: "Okay I'm going to my room."

I walked up the stairs to my room. I put my bag in to the corner and took out the test. I read all the instructions and went into the bathroom. I waited five minutes and decided it was time to look at it. It was positive. This can't be happening I thought. I decided to go for a drive. I walked down the stairs grabbed my stuff and walked out. I could hear Cassandra's protests but I didn't care. I got into my truck and started driving. I turned the radio on the hear 'What I've Done: By Linkin Park'

In this farewell

There's no blood

There's no alibi

Cause I've drawn regret

From the truth

Of a thousand lies

I started crying for what I let happen and for the child that was created by mistake.

So let mercy come

And wash away

What I've done

I'll face myself

To cross out what I've become

Erase myself

And let go of what I've done

My vision blurred I couldn't help but hate myself so much for letting myself get into this situation.

Put to rest

What you thought of me

While I've cleaned this state

With the hands

Of uncertainty

For what I've done

I start agin

And whatever pain may come

Today this ends

I'm forgiving what I've done

I dint see the silver car come out infront of me. Alll I felt was being flipped over and I could hear a velvet voice talking to me telling me to stay awake. The smell of blood was to much I started falling asleep.

Before I went into sleeping state I said..

Bella: "Save my baby"

There's chapter one I hope you guys really liked it. Edward is a vampire and so are the Cullens. Edward does come into the next chapter so hope you all liked it please review.

Edwardslover304

Crystal