A/N: a-simple-rainbow prompted (and then beta'ed because she's awesome and has super powers): "Skank!Kurt spots yummy goody-two-shoes Blaine on his way to church youth group (partially mandated by parents, partially because he grew up with church so it is smtg that's part of his life and he doesn't mind). So skank!Kurt decides to follow Blaine and crash the meeting, all the while spending the whole time eyefucking Blaine." She also requested "I walk in on you correcting people's misspelled bathroom graffiti" as a side prompt (and that took up, like, most of it, oops). As a surprise, I also added another prompt meme (to be found in chapter 3).
If you want the links to all the prompt posts, I'll post them on my Tumblr (notthetoothfairy)!
Warnings: mentions of bullying (all canon), underage drinking&smoking, some light mocking of religious views (Kurt's canonical opinions, not mine!)
Kurt spots him on a Wednesday afternoon in January, and he can't tear his eyes away.
It's been an obnoxiously boring afternoon thus far, especially considering that Kurt used to have Glee club after school where he now only has a blank space in his calendar, and he's on his way to the tiny tobacco store across the street from the Lima Bean.
He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't rather have a coffee than a cigarette but something about pink-haired boys with piercings ordering a grande non-fat mocha in a cozy coffee shop just screams hipster.
And Kurt isn't hipster. So he foregoes the coffee, begrudgingly and with a promise to make himself some coffee once he gets home, and lets his eyes wander from the coffee shop back to the street so he can cross it and-
Oh, hello.
His eyes never make it to the tobacco store. They stop at, and get absolutely lost in, a gorgeous boy around his age who's sitting on the brick wall in front of the Lima Bean parking lot a few feet away from Kurt. The boy's gaze is cast downward on the book he's holding in his gloved hands, his cheeks slightly reddened by the harsh January air, and when he looks up once to check the street (he's probably waiting for someone, Kurt realizes), Kurt makes out big shiny eyes, framed by impressively long eyelashes, and a lush mouth that drops open when he catches Kurt staring at him and is bitten back into a thin line when the boy's eyes go back to the book quickly. His cheeks also flush a tiny bit more, and Kurt grins.
He can't figure out if the boy is affronted or pleased that Kurt just checked him out so openly but either way, he just found a way to make his afternoon a bit more interesting.
Cigarettes completely forgotten, Kurt takes a step towards the guy but then halts in his movements when a car stops next to the guy, and two girls step out before the driver sets off again. Kurt doesn't see much besides blonde hair and fancy clothes at first but then he hears one of the girls speak.
"Hi, Blaine!" Kurt recognizes Quinn Fabray's voice immediately. "Ready for church group?"
Church group? Kurt's eyes nearly bulge out of his face. Fuck, of course. He spares another glance at the book the boy – Blaine, apparently – was reading, and this time realizes that it's not just any book.
It's the bible.
And, really, it figures. After all, the boy looks like a picture perfect Sunday school boy, a true goody-two-shoes.
And yes, totally Kurt's type, too… but he'll just deny it if anyone ever asks.
Needless to say, Kurt flees the scene before anyone can catch him making disgusted faces at their little group meeting. He heads straight into the tobacco store and asks for two packs. The clerk raises an eyebrow – he must be new because Kurt has been here enough times to count as a regular – and tells him that he looks a bit young to be buying cigarettes. Kurt glares at him and shoves his fake ID in the clerk's face with a scoff, dumping the money on the counter with his free hand. One mumbled apology later, Kurt buries his purchase in the pockets of his leather jacket and strolls back out the store, just in time to see Quinn, of course, is leading the group of people – now five, Kurt notices – to the Lima Bean.
He rolls his eyes. A church youth group meeting in a coffee shop. What's next, they pull out guitars and start singing Christian hymns while the baristas sway in the background? Ugh.
He's about to just turn on his heels and take a stroll through the neighborhood before going home when he notices that Blaine has yet to move from his spot on the wall. In fact, he only hops off it with what looks like a dejected sigh after he gives the bible in his hand a long, measuring look.
Interesting. Somebody doesn't seem to be all that much into church group.
Kurt grins. Maybe he isn't the only one having a slow day and in desperate need of someone to save them from boredom.
Besides, crashing a church group meeting probably counts as a rebellious enough excuse for a skank like Kurt to enter a coffee shop and get his sweet dose of caffeine, right?
He makes sure to take his time; he doesn't want them to notice him before he's even started his little mission. When he opens the door to the coffee shop, the sweet smell of sugary coffee hitting his nose in a very pleasant, oh-so-corrupting way, he's pleased to see that a few customers have gotten in line behind the group. It gives him a minute to check out Blaine again.
Yes, he's definitely worth crashing the meeting. He's just as stunning from behind as he was in profile and what's more, he keeps dodging the flirtatious glances of one of the other church girls, making Kurt smirk.
Once they're seated in a corner table in the far back of the coffee shop, Kurt struts up to the counter and orders his drink quickly.
Drink in hand, he grabs a nearby chair and drags it all the way across the room to the back where the meeting is happening and lets it come to a halt right next to Quinn (and more importantly, right across from Blaine), the back of the chair facing the table so that he can straddle the chair languidly and place his arms on the backrest.
He sends a lopsided smirk Blaine's way and grins around the rim of his coffee cup when Blaine's eyes widen in recognition and looks around the table a little frantically.
He's a bit too focused on those details to notice Quinn waving a hand in his face.
"Hello? Kurt?" By the time he finally turns to her, she sounds frustrated. "What are you doing here?"
"Oh, is this a private meeting?" Kurt drawls. "I saw you go in and thought… hey… I haven't talked to Quinn in a while."
Quinn squints at him. "Yes, and that was deliberate, I thought."
She isn't wrong, of course. He'd quit Glee club when he became a skank and stopped talking to any of his former friends, except Finn. Brothers are, after all, somewhat unavoidable.
But he's not here to go down memory lane.
"Whatever." He waves her off. "Don't let me bother you, I'm here to learn."
"You want to join us?" Quinn asks incredulously.
"Precisely." Kurt shoots her a smug grin. "And you wouldn't expel someone who'd want to learn, right?"
Quinn's mouth opens and then closes again when she obviously doesn't come up with a good enough excuse as to why he shouldn't join them. She turns to her left a little helplessly, and that's when Kurt notices for the first time the table is not only full of people his age but that there's also a guy, probably in his late twenties, who seems to be the supervisor of the group.
Oh. Kurt forgot that an adult was probably going to be around to chaperone the group. Great.
But to his surprise, the youth pastor just nods.
"Sure," he says, "you're welcome to come and learn… Kurt, was it?"
"Yeah," Kurt says with a shrug. "Great, I'll just sit back, listen… and enjoy."
He says that last part with a side glance to Blaine, and since his presence seems to be approved by the group now, he wastes no time to look him up and down appreciatively. If his profile and backside were a sight for sore eyes, his front is most definitely a feast.
His eyes linger on the shirt that's stretched tightly over Blaine's chest before they flicker back up to his face and it doesn't escape Kurt that Blaine gulps ever so slightly when their eyes meet. It makes Kurt even bolder than he's already feeling, and he follows their staring contest up with a wink. Blaine ducks his head with a smile but as soon as he's gotten himself under control, his eyes shoot back up, catching Kurt by surprise.
"Blaine?" one of the other girls asks.
"Uh… sorry, what?" Blaine asks, blinking quickly and turning to the girl. It's the first time Kurt hears him speak, and even his voice is attractive, damn. "I, uh, spaced out a little."
"It's fine," Quinn says gently. "We just said we should go around the table and tell each other about what's going in our lives right now. Do you want to go first?"
Oh god, sharing feelings, yawn. But at least it looks like he's going to find out a little more about Blaine.
"Okay." Blaine nods. "Well, you already know that I moved here two weeks ago and… the move was a little stressful, you know, with the school transfer and everything." He smiles at Quinn. "But I joined Glee club, so that's probably going to be fun."
Kurt's eyes widen a fraction. Had this happened three months ago when he was still in Glee club, he'd probably have done everything in his power to get a duet with Blaine. But that's not him anymore so Kurt shakes his head to himself quickly and focuses on the conversation.
"- and you're very welcome to join our God Squad at McKinley, too," Quinn is saying.
Blaine smiles again but it looks a bit strained. Oh, he so doesn't want to be part of that God Squad. Kurt shoots him another grin. This time, however, Blaine doesn't look at him.
Oh, well, he'll just have to try harder. He doesn't catch Blaine's eye for the rest of the round, though, and Kurt's starting to get super bored by the time they reach Quinn. She tells everyone about how she's back on the cheerleading team and trying to get back her old life, yadda yadda yadda, and then all of a sudden, all eyes are on him.
"What, do I have something on my face?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.
"It's your turn," Blaine tells him, and damn that bastard, he actually has the audacity to put on a teasing smirk.
"Oh, no," Kurt says at once, "I'm not going to share, I said I just wanted to sit back and listen-"
"Kurt, youth group is about participation," the pastor says. "If you don't open up to us, we won't be able to support you."
Who does this guy think he is?
"I don't need support," Kurt grits out, annoyed. "Least of all from you."
Quinn sighs. "Everyone, meet Kurt. He's your average skank-"
"Quinn," the pastor warns.
"That's what they call themselves," Quinn defends herself. "Anyway, there's nothing going on in his life right now and that's why he's here."
It hurts a little, how close her words hit to home, but Kurt isn't going to let that deter him from his original plan to make his afternoon a little more interesting.
"Exactly." He turns to Quinn and the pastor and puts on a fake smile. "You took the words right out of my mouth. Thanks, Quinn, for not letting me introduce myself. Rude. But anyway, now I've been introduced. Can we move on?"
She scoffs at him but Kurt's already turned his back to her and instead catches Blaine chuckle at his words. The pastor doesn't seem to know what to do with someone as unwilling to cooperate as Kurt, so he just lets it slide and suggests they start praying together.
He begrudgingly takes the hands of Quinn and the girl next to him and closes his eyes just like everyone else as the pastor says, "Lord, thank you for bringing us all together in this wonderful group. We pray that-"
Blah blah blah.
Kurt opens his eyes. It's actually less boring to listen when he starts watching Blaine's face – his eyes are closed but Kurt can still tell when he goes from solemn and participant to somewhat annoyed. At first, Kurt thinks it's because of him, like he somehow catches him staring even with his eyes closed, but then Blaine turns his head to the girl next to him, the one who tried to flirt with him earlier, opens his eyes briefly and rolls his eyes at their joined hands before looking back to the round, one corner of his mouth tugging up when he meets Kurt's eyes, and closing his eyes again.
Eyebrows raising, Kurt looks down to their hands and sees that she is clutching his hand tightly, stroking the back of his hand with her thumb, and biting her lip. Kurt almost bursts out laughing. She really has no clue, does she?
Once they're done with praying and actually start to discuss bible passages, Kurt drowns out the conversation completely because he just doesn't care at all (thankfully, nobody addresses him after their first attempt to make him talk) and instead resumes his game of catching Blaine's eye across the table.
Kurt's surprised that nobody seems to notice anything but, then again, most of them have their noses buried in their bibles.
He's pleased to notice, however, that Blaine seems wonderfully distracted.
Whenever he smiles at the boy, he'll return it, if a little hesitantly, and actually blush a little sometimes. Kurt decides that moving on to bedroom eyes should be the natural next step but it proves to be a little less successful, simply because every time he tries it, it only makes Blaine look away with a stubborn look on his face like he's not going to give in. And when Kurt finally manages to hold their gaze for longer than just a fleeting second, he wastes no time trying to brush their ankles together under the table, simultaneously looking up at Blaine through his lashes, but Blaine is so startled that he pulls out his leg from under the table with a loud clunk, making everybody look at him.
"Sorry," he chokes out, accompanied by a nervous laugh. "Clumsy."
Kurt isn't entirely sure if the rash movement was born out of surprise or a sign that Blaine doesn't want any physical contact, so he doesn't try it again. He's not one to push, and if he's not getting consent for playing footsie, then so be it.
The meeting is over fifteen minutes later, and Kurt almost sighs in relief. As much as he enjoyed the flirt, he's never attended something as boring as bible study and he's running out of ways to make Blaine flustered anyway.
Kurt isn't quick enough to make Blaine stay behind but he notices with a grin that when he exits the coffee shop that everyone else is already piling into their parents' cars – everyone except for Blaine, who has hopped back up onto the brick wall and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his winter jacket.
Kurt saunters over and stops right next to him, fishing out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jacket and leaning his back onto the wall. He tilts his head sideways to look at Blaine while he lights a cigarette.
"So…" he says, lingering on the word, partly because it'll leave the ball in Blaine's court and partly because he really doesn't know how to flirt with people using actual words.
You don't need anything other than looks when you want to flirt with strangers at Scandals.
"What do you want?" Blaine asks. It doesn't sound unfriendly, just… confused.
"Oh, wasn't I obvious enough?" Kurt asks, grinning.
"Sure, but…" Blaine squirms next to him. "I'm not… I don't just hook up with people."
Kurt knows his appearance and attitude come with a reputation, and that his approaches weren't exactly subtle, but he still feels himself getting annoyed. Blaine doesn't even know him.
"Calm down, psycho," he drawls. "I wasn't trying to get in your pants."
Blaine raises an eyebrow. Sadly, he doesn't seem all that impressed by Kurt's snarky attitude.
"But you were flirting with me," he tries, and Kurt thinks he detects a hint of hope. Hah!
"I don't know what you're talking about," Kurt says, whistling for good measure. "All I did was try to get you out of that church group nonsense that you obviously didn't want to go to."
Well, that… and the ulterior motive.
Blaine laughs.
"Good job," he mocks him. "Instead of getting me out, we were both stuck there. Besides, what makes you think I didn't want to go?"
Kurt scoffs. "Right. Besides the fake politeness at Quinn's God Squad invitation, and the rolling your eyes at people, you mean?"
"Oh." Blaine rolls his eyes again, driving the point home. "That."
Kurt chuckles lowly. "So, let me guess… it's mandatory."
"Somewhat."
It's vague but Kurt takes it as his cue to keep asking. "Parents?"
Blaine nods. "My mom's worried I'm not gonna make any friends, and my dad… well. He's convinced Susan and I would make a great couple. He got us a gig at Kings Island's Christmas Spectacular and let's just say that I'll take it as a compliment to my acting that now they both are convinced something could happen between us."
"Clingy McClueless?" Kurt asks, and grimaces when Blaine nods. "Your dad doesn't know you're gay, huh?"
Blaine blushes a little, probably because Kurt just assumed so, but then again, he didn't shoot down Kurt's advances on the grounds of not being into guys at all so there's little room for interpretation anyway.
"He knows," Blaine says with a sigh. "Susan knows, too. I'm out and proud, and all that. They just have… hopes."
Kurt winces in sympathy.
"So your parents are forcing you to go to church group," Kurt sums up. "Typical."
But Blaine shakes his head adamantly. "No, it's… I mean, they want me to go, yeah, but… it's not like they're making me go against my will." He shrugs. "I grew up with church, it's part of my life. And this one supports LGBTQ members, too, so I like it well enough. That's why I don't want to join the God Squad, though. I've heard they're not as open-minded and I really don't want to have to defend myself for something I think is just a normal part of me, you know…?"
Kurt takes a few seconds to process the information and just smokes his cigarette in silence for a bit.
Blaine sucks in a breath and starts babbling on the exhale, "Wow, sorry, I'm unloading unnecessary information on you, I don't… I don't even know why I'm telling you this. Just… ignore me."
Kurt refrains from pointing out that he deliberately asked for the information Blaine provided.
"So… you're actually religious?" he asks instead.
"Kind of, yeah." Blaine laughs. "You're not, I'm guessing?"
"No, I'm not." Kurt shudders at the thought, and takes a drag of his cigarette. "Churches aren't for me. I prefer sleeping in on Sundays and planning my afterlife in hell."
Blaine grins. "You think you're so bad, don't you?"
It's teasing and it sounds almost flirtatious, but also genuinely curious, and Kurt's momentarily taken aback by the words because people don't just question his attitude like that.
"I-" He doesn't know how to continue. "I don't-"
A car stops next to them and Blaine gets off the wall immediately.
"My dad's picking me up," he explains and gives Kurt a quick wave before he opens the door. "Bye, Kurt."
Kurt merely blinks, and he almost misses Blaine's annoyed, "No, dad, I'm not doing any drugs, he's in my youth group, relax," right before the car drives off.
He tells himself it was just a missed opportunity, nothing to obsess over. In fact, he shouldn't obsess over it.
After all, the skanks don't care about anyone and thus nobody cares about them.
So, Kurt doesn't care for Blaine.
Why would he? They flirted, they talked… and that's it. Nothing unusual.
And he isn't upset at all that their conversation – god, he was actually having a normal conversation with someone – was cut short.
The attraction was purely physical.
Yet, he finds himself keeping an eye out for Blaine when he is purposefully not skipping a single class over the course of the next week. When people, especially the other skanks, give him weird looks for being at school all day and not hanging out under the bleachers, he shrugs nonchalantly and says he needs to show up every now and then to maintain a passing grade. In fact, it's actually a good idea… at least that's what he tells himself.
It turns out that Blaine shares two of his classes, biology and gym class. Their bio teacher is a monster and makes Kurt sit in the front row for cutting class so often, so he doesn't get a chance to ogle Blaine during the whole torturous lesson on sex ed. It's a shame, really, because about a million innuendos pop into Kurt's mind, but he's wasting his breath.
Gym class, however, turns out to be a little bit more exciting. McKinley's very short gym shorts actually look even shorter and yummier on Blaine. He likes to think that nobody can blame if he looks over more than once.
When Blaine notices him looking the first time, he just snorts.
When it happens the fifth time, he actually clears his throat and gives Kurt a pointed look that says, My eyes are up here. It's by that point at the latest that Kurt knows Blaine won't buy any excuses à la I just wanted to get you out of boring gym class.
Of course, Kurt's former self would have been embarrassed for days to be caught staring but he isn't that person anymore. Embarrassment is a thing of the past.
Or so he thinks.
Because when Blaine catches him staring for the twelfth time, he jogs over to him, leans close and mumbles, "The red shirt clashes with your hair." He grins. "It's cute."
It catches Kurt off guard, and he has to fight down a blush. He can't just blush in front of people, for god's sake.
"It's cute that you thought that would be a good pick-up line," he manages to shoot back, and Blaine throws another grin over his shoulder as he goes back to his exercise.
"It's cute that you thought that was a pick-up line."
Kurt stares after him, lost for words. Is Blaine trying to get back at him for denying he was flirting last week?
Ugh, he so is.
Apparently, embarrassment is very much a thing of the present.
Kurt doesn't go back to gym class for the rest of the week.
If his teachers were already fed up with him for skipping their classes in the first place, they sure are even more upset that he shows up again without having done any work in the meantime. By Tuesday morning, Kurt has already gotten detention from nine different teachers, so Figgins gives him four whole weeks in total and sends him to his first session on Wednesday after school.
One week ago, he was complaining about his boring-as-hell afternoons, and now he somehow managed to make them even more torturous. Hooray.
The clock is ticking way too slowly – it can't still be half past three, can it? – and Kurt decides to use up one of his two bathroom breaks that the supervising teacher allows him. Azimio has already gone twice so there's no chance he can follow him and beat him up, even though Kurt's pretty sure becoming a skank has already gotten him off the footballers' radar more or less. At least all of them except Karofsky but he's too much of a coward to go after Kurt on his own, especially not now that Kurt just needs to blow smoke in his face and coolly ask him if he wants his secret to be broadcast for everyone to hear at the next pep rally.
Kurt would never do it, of course. He doesn't believe in outing others, not even when the person is question is a bullying Neanderthal. Not even when it's a bullying Neanderthal in the closet who thinks it would be fun to kiss Kurt, unsolicited and forced, and following it up by death threats so Kurt wouldn't tell anyone.
So yeah, Karofsky turned Kurt's junior year of high school into absolute hell, but what he doesn't know is that Kurt wasn't serious when he suddenly started threatening him back. And somehow his new appearance seems to make more of a reckless and unpredictable impression, because Karofsky hasn't cornered him again.
Kurt hesitates for a moment when he leaves the classroom, shooting a wistful look down the hallway towards the exit, but decides against escaping. He doesn't want to risk getting even more detention. Besides, he does need to pee.
However, urinating is the last thing on his mind once he opens the door to the bathroom.
"What on earth are you doing?" Kurt asks.
Blaine is standing in front of one of the open stall doors, scrambling to hide the pen he's clutching in his hand by throwing his arm behind his back and putting on a wide smile that immediately morphs into a relieved sigh when he sees Kurt.
"Good, it's you," he breathes out. "For a scary second, I thought it was a teacher or someone else who'd rat me out."
"Rat you out for…?" Kurt trails off, focusing on the stall door behind Blaine for a second. It's filled with pornographic drawings and random phrases, and while that in itself obviously isn't news to Kurt, combined with the pen Blaine's holding, it becomes almost scandalous. "Blaine, are you- oh my god, are you defacing school property?!" He gives Blaine an amused look. "Wow, I didn't think you'd have it in you…"
"Uh, well…" Blaine bites his lip, his eyes flitting to the pen in his hand. "I actually wasn't-"
"Yeah, right." Kurt smirks. So long, goody-two-shoes and innocent school boy images; hello, adorably rebellious, vandalizing Blaine. "Let me see…"
He pushes past Blaine, curious to see if it's a dedication to someone, or a mean comment, or maybe some ridiculous God-related proverb, or…
Kurt squints at the door. "Wait, which one did you write? Oh…" He's suddenly laughing so hard he has to clutch his belly with one hand and grab Blaine's shoulder with the other to hold himself up. "What the fuck, are you for real? You're correcting spelling mistakes on people's bathroom graffiti…?"
Blaine doesn't answer right away but there's no doubt that where it said, I could care less about you're boring lifes, it now reads, I couldn't care less about your boring lives, corrections unmistakably the same color as the red pen Blaine used.
Blaine starts to say something but Kurt misses it because he's overcome with another wave of laughter. God, he can't remember the last time he laughed this hard.
"Sorry, what?" he asks once he's done, wiping away a stray tear on his cheek.
Blaine's face is beet-red and it's so wickedly cute that Kurt has the sudden urge to kiss him. A romantic kiss, not one of the hurried I-want-to-get-in-your-pants variety, and Kurt swallows the realization down like cough syrup. Not good.
"I just…," Blaine starts again. "I hate it when people make spelling mistakes."
"It repulses me, too, but… come on." Kurt points at the stall door. "Everyone knows bathroom graffiti isn't exactly meant to be poetry."
"Sometimes it is," Blaine protests.
"You say that like you've composed one yourself," Kurt says with a smirk. "Anything rebellious you've written on those walls that you want to share with the class?"
"Maybe I have." Blaine sticks up his nose in the air. "But I'd never tell you."
It's mostly teasing, though Kurt sees a tiny hint of embarrassment.
"Aw, you haven't," he says. "And to think I was almost led to believe you weren't that innocent after all…"
"Hey." Blaine sniffs. "I'll have you know that I actually sometimes add sarcastic commentary instead of proofreading."
Kurt raises an eyebrow and doesn't waver until Blaine reluctantly pulls open the bathroom stall door next to the one he was redecorating before, and Kurt snorts indignantly when he sees it.
Satin rulez! – I agree! It sure is a nice fabric!
Grinning, he turns to Blaine.
"Are you sure you left it like that to be sassy or were you just afraid to spell out You-Know-Who's name?" he teases.
Blaine rolls his eyes good-naturedly. "I'm okay with spelling Satan. There," he grins triumphantly, "I even said it."
"You think you're so bad, don't you?" Kurt echoes Blaine's words from last week, and maybe it's proof that Blaine thought about it a lot, too, because his eyes widen in recognition of the phrasing and he ducks his head a little bashfully.
Kurt's ears are ringing with a mantra of, Not good, not good, not good.
But apparently, his filter just isn't on today and he can't be stopped.
Which is why he suddenly blurts, "Do you want to continue this over coffee?"
Oh dear, did he just…? No, he didn't. He meant as friends. Clearly.
No. Fuck. He didn't mean that, either.
Is there any setting in which two people grabbing coffee isn't a date or friends hanging out?
"Uh…" Blaine blinks. "I have Glee club, actually…"
"Oh…" Kurt trails off, scratching his neck. He feels rejected, yet relieved, which, frankly, is a weird combination of feelings. And who gave his body permission to feel, anyway? "Well, I have detention, come to think of it."
Blaine raises his eyebrows, which makes them look ridiculously triangular. Kurt focuses on that. He can deal with ridiculous.
"Detention? What for?"
Kurt shrugs. "Cutting class."
"Makes sense." Blaine bites his lip. "Well, we should probably go back…"
Kurt nods and turns to the door before he remembers he actually needed to pee. Awkward.
He spins away from the door.
"I was actually gonna…" he says, gesturing to the stalls.
"Oh, right!" Blaine makes a face. "Sorry I kept you."
"What were you even doing here in the first place?" Kurt asks curiously, and wow, it's like he subconsciously doesn't want Blaine to go. "Do you take regular breaks from Glee club to correct people's spelling mistakes in the fine institution that is McKinley's Bathroom Poets Society?"
"Believe it or not, I have a properly functioning bladder, so I primarily came here with the same reason you did." Blaine scrunches up his nose when he adds, "Unless you're here to get out of detention."
"Wouldn't dream of it." Kurt smirks. "But it is nice to escape the two-hour madness for a few minutes, even if I now have to search the stalls with a magnifying glass to find some spelling errors to make fun of like I usually do."
"Funny," Blaine comments wryly. "Well, uh… see you around."
"See ya." He pulls the stall door until it's closed behind him and listens for the sound of the bathroom door closing as well before he lets out a sigh. "What is wrong with me?"
He mulls the question over while he pees and he still isn't done thinking about it when he gets back to detention, his teacher giving him a stern look for taking so long, which Kurt responds to with a glare. There are a million reasons for why people could take a long time in the bathroom, so who is she to judge?
With his mind occupied, the time actually goes by faster, and Kurt's almost surprised when they're being dismissed all of a sudden.
It doesn't compare to the surprise that's waiting in front of the classroom, though.
"Hey," Blaine says, holding the strap of his bag in both hands as if he needs something to grab on to. "So, according to Puck, Glee club ends at the same time as detention…"
Kurt looks at him confusedly. "And you thought you'd check if he was right…? Puck's always right about detention, you know, he spends more time in that room than anyone else."
Blaine smiles feebly. "No, I thought I'd see if you were serious about that coffee."
Oh.
Kurt can't help it when he blushes this time, and he looks down to his feet to hide it, tracing an invisible pattern on the floor with one of his boots.
"Yeah, sure," he says slowly, trying the words out on his tongue, and when he finds it's not that hard to sound somewhat amicable, he adds, "I thought you didn't want to."
"I never said that," Blaine replies, his smile widening a fraction. "I said I had Glee club."
"Okay, well… do you want to go now?"
Blaine nods, and finally lets go of the strap, visibly relaxing.
"Cool," Kurt says, shrugging on his leather jacket.
It's an attempt to act casual but he doesn't feel casual at all, and, damn, he thought he'd have this seduction thing down to perfection by now.
Not that he has a lot of experience to build on, almost all of his experiments at Scandals sort of petered out when he realized that he didn't want to do anything but dance with the people he approached. He'd made out with people a few times, grinded with a few and even went home with someone once, though he never went back to Scandals afterwards.
Still, it helped make him better at flirting and acting like he was calm and collected and not a blushing mess. He has successfully improved his attitude, making people believe that he's a skank, in the full scope of the word's meaning, seductive and ruthless, but apparently, all that it takes to tear that wall down is a cute boy tentatively reaching out to him.
That, or Blaine must be some kind of wizard.
They stay at the Lima Bean for two hours, getting a total of six cups of coffee, and talking almost non-stop. Most of it is mutual teasing, but they also talk about Blaine's life a lot.
He learns that Blaine has an older brother that has starred in a commercial that Kurt knows (but other than that, Blaine seems to be a bit touchy when it comes to this topic), he transferred to McKinley from Dalton Academy, which means Kurt would have competed against him at Sectionals if he hadn't quit Glee club (he leaves out that part when he responds, though), he wants to move to New York after high school because he loves musical theatre and wants to become a performer (Kurt feels a little pang in his chest when he realizes how compatible they would have been if he hadn't, well, changed so much), and he's a bit of a nerd when it comes to fantasy and sci-fi, which means that the one he gets along most with in Glee club is, naturally, Sam (Kurt wonders if Blaine has a crush on him, too, because contrary to Kurt and Sam, it sounds like those two would actually share the same interests, and he's almost a little bothered by the thought even though he's perfectly aware that Sam is straight).
When Blaine starts asking questions about Kurt's life, Kurt changes the topic, and Blaine seemingly knows better than to poke around for answers.
At one point, Blaine mentions church, and Kurt looks up quickly.
"Wait, don't you have your youth group at this time…?"
Blaine shrugs. "I told Quinn in Glee club that I wouldn't be able to make it."
"See, I knew you weren't that serious about it," Kurt teases him. He looks around the coffee shop to scan the other tables. "You probably just went for the coffee. But they're not meeting here today…?"
"No, they're not," Blaine confirms. "We meet in different places all the time. Today would have been team-building exercises at Susan's house, though, and… well, you know, I'm not that keen on participating in that, and now I have an actual excuse…"
Kurt sobers up at once. "Does she really bother you that much?"
With the way he's behaving today, he's probably just seconds away from offering to assassinate her for Blaine, but thankfully, Blaine shakes his head quickly.
"No, it's fine." Blaine smiles. "I just meant that I'd rather get coffee with you than untie human knots – or whatever they're doing as an exercise – with her." He plays with his coffee cup absent-mindedly. "I do prefer the company of people I actually want to flirt with."
They both chuckle awkwardly when the words are out.
"Um…" Blaine lets go of his coffee cup and lets his hands come to a halt on the table instead. "Sorry, that was too forward."
Kurt gives him a doubtful look.
"I followed you inside this building last week and pretended to be interested in church of all things to chat you up- or well, eye you up, I guess – and you think you're being forward?"
Blaine smiles but it looks a little off this time.
"We still want different things, don't we?" he asks, very obviously pretending to be casual.
Kurt resists the urge to roll his eyes.
"If that's your way of asking me if I'm looking for a boyfriend," he says, and he hates himself while he says it, but this is what he's chosen, he's not just going to change his mind at the first chance of having someone around who could make him feel good for more than just a few hours, "I'm not."
Blaine nods, hands back on the coffee cup. "Yeah." He clears his throat. "Right, well… I'm still not looking for a hook-up, so..."
Kurt almost wishes he hadn't gone out of his way to talk to Blaine last week. What a stupid mistake.
"Is it a religious thing?" Kurt asks, aware of how judgmental he sounds but not finding it in himself to stop. "The no-sex-before-marriage kind of deal?"
"No." Blaine looks him right in the eye and it's clear he's not taking offense but also not happy about the question either. "It's a no-sex-until-I'm-absolutely-sure-I-want-it thing."
Kurt nods, heart racing, but doesn't reply. They're both silent for a while.
He suddenly feels desperate for a cigarette.
"I'm going out for a-" he starts, but Blaine catches him by the wrist before he can leave.
"Kurt, wait." He looks up with hopeful eyes. "I need to go in five minutes, anyway. My parents are expecting me for dinner."
"Okay," Kurt mutters sitting back down. "Can we talk about something else, though?"
"How…" Blaine places his phone on the table. "How about you give me your number?"
Kurt stares at Blaine. "You're hard to read right now," Kurt tells him, half-teasing, half-serious. "You did hear me when I said I wasn't looking for anything serious, right…?"
Blaine rolls his eyes. "I have tons of numbers of friends that I'm not dating."
"Floozy," Kurt jokes, mostly to hide the fact that even the word friend is a bit much for him, but he takes the phone and punches in his number, anyway. "There you go. I guess I'll just be a booty call away, then…"
"If I recall correctly, you were the one with the booty fetish the other day," Blaine deadpans, and Kurt almost bangs his head against the table.
He's openly trying to upset Blaine by being crass, and even that isn't working. He definitely picked the wrong goody-two-shoes to seduce. Blaine doesn't even falter.
"Booty fetish just sounds wrong," Kurt says, grimacing. "What are you, five?"
"Five?" Blaine chokes out, acting concerned. "I sincerely hope you didn't talk about your booty fetish with the other kids in primary school, Kurt. Those poor, innocent souls."
Kurt has to stifle his laughter. "Stop saying booty fetish!"
"Stop being weird about your booty fetish!"
A throat clears behind Blaine, and Kurt looks up to see a blonde woman looking at them with both eyebrows raised. Kurt just looks back at her defiantly, half expecting her to tell them that she's the manager of the Lima Bean and they're being thrown out for scaring other customers away.
But when Blaine turns around, he squeaks, "Mom! Uh… hi. Have you been waiting long?"
"Long enough for my ears to bleed," she says with a grin, and ah, Kurt can see where Blaine gets the sass from. "I texted you that I was in the parking lot five minutes ago but you didn't reply."
Just a minute ago, Blaine said he had about five more minutes. Did he make his mom wait on purpose so that he could exchange numbers with Kurt…?
"Sorry, I must have missed it." Lie, blatant lie! Kurt is about to kick Blaine's shin under the table (he might be unsociable and catty but even he knows it's wrong to lie to one's mother) when Blaine turns back to Kurt and winks at him. "I was just saying goodbye, anyway."
"Clearly." Blaine's mom extends her hand to Kurt. "Hi, I'm Pam. You must be Kurt."
Kurt's eyebrows shoot up all the way to his hairline as he shakes her hand. Blaine's mom knows who he is and his name? It's been a week since they've met; how…?
Blaine gets up from the table abruptly.
"Okay, I'm gonna go," he says, apparently deciding that any interaction between his mom and Kurt should be cut short. "I'll see you around?"
"I guess," Kurt replies with a shrug, not wanting to look too enthusiastic in front of Blaine's mom. He doesn't really need her to think they're boyfriends, especially not when she already knows about him and heard them talk about… ugh, the booty fetish.
"Do you need a ride home, Kurt?" Pam asks, and she's really just like Blaine, completely ignoring his attempt to appear inapproachable.
"No, thanks," he says. "I'll have a smoke and walk home, it's not far."
"Alright." She waves. "Have a nice evening, Kurt, and remember, smoking is bad for your health."
"Mom," Blaine groans. "Can we just go?"
As they leave, Blaine throws Kurt a quick, apologetic glance over his shoulder, but Kurt just raises his coffee cup in a silent goodbye and watches them leave with an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
Kurt feels his phone buzz with a message in his pocket but he doesn't take it out while he's eating dinner with his family, even though he's almost entirely sure it's Blaine and itches to read it. But Kurt knows his dad would not be pleased if he didn't at least finish his meal, and Kurt really doesn't want to upset him any more than he already has.
He was doing so well last year, connecting with his dad more than ever, and sharing more and more of himself with him, but when the bullying got worse after Burt's heart attack, Kurt just couldn't bring himself to tell him out of fear it would upset and make him ill again.
So Kurt dealt with the problem on his own. Karofsky continued to harass him and, at first, Kurt didn't know what to do about it – until he observed how two of the skanks cut the line in lunch, throwing dirty looks at Azimio and Karofsky when they complained. Unlike the multiple times Kurt had talked back to them, that time, they didn't even crack their knuckles or try to look intimidating. They just sulked.
The skanks held some kind of power, and Kurt wanted it. The realization came right on time, with Burt and Carole leaving for their honeymoon the very next day, leaving Kurt enough time to make a few changes going unnoticed by the parental units.
So he did – and if there was anything Kurt could always count on, it was his knack and passion for makeovers.
By the time Burt and Carole came back from their honeymoon, Kurt had pink streaks in his hair, an eyebrow piercing and two earrings, leather clothing, had acquired a fake ID and successfully convinced the bullies, including Karofsky, that it was better not to fuck with him.
It meant being a little ruthless with mostly empty threats, but at least Kurt found out that you could blackmail just about anyone if you just dug up enough dirt.
He knew he had not only become a skank but also a disappointment for his dad. He'd been yelled at, interrogated, sent to his room and grounded, but there wasn't anything Burt could have said to convince Kurt to get rid of his piercings, the earring, the hair, or the leather.
But he feels Burt's approval with every step he makes, so he waits until after dinner to excuse himself, and it's a sign for how resigned his dad has become that he doesn't even try to convince Kurt to stay downstairs with them to watch a movie.
As soon as Kurt's in his room, he opens up the unread message.
Unknown number: Just fyi, my mom knows about you because my dad wouldn't stop ranting about how I apparently hang out with punks now, so I told them you were in my church group, so… yeah. Just clearing that up.
He saves the number, briefly noting that he doesn't even know Blaine's last name, and types out a reply.
Kurt: Sure, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.
The response comes almost instantly.
Blaine: Kurt! I'm serious. I'm not in the business of telling my parents about boys I might or might not be flirting with. Though my mom obviously isn't letting it go now.
Kurt wants to snort at the "might or might not be" part but he mostly just feels the urge to hide his face in his pillow and scream.
Fingers hovering over his phone tentatively, he takes his time to choose his next words.
Kurt: About the flirting…
Blaine: Yes?
Kurt: How's that going to work now?
Blaine: I… I don't know? I honestly just want to talk to you. You're cool.
Kurt scoffs at the message.
Kurt: Excuse you, I am not cool.
Blaine: lol that is not offensive at all, what is wrong with you? But, okay, nice then.
Kurt: You're making it worse.
Blaine: Weird…?
Kurt grins and punches away on his keyboard quickly.
Kurt: Slightly better. Though I'm still going to point out that you're the weird one. You carry a pen with you to correct people's spelling in the bathroom stalls, Blaine.
Blaine: I can't be the only one who's bothered by that. Spelling is important!
Kurt: It's not that important. You still know what they we're going to say!
Blaine: … okay, my left eye is actually twitching. You did that on purpose.
Kurt: Your easy to crack.
Blaine: Please stop!
Kurt: Oaky.
Kurt: Haha that one was actually a typo! Not that I care but… you can tell your eye to stop twitching now. And I reiterate: Weirdo. Spelling isn't everything.
Blaine: If only it was that easy. I can't unsee it, Kurt. And I'm going to prove you wrong. I'll find a horrible spelling mistake on a bathroom stall somewhere and take a picture of it to show you how wrong you are.
While Kurt types out his answer, he catches a look of himself in the mirror across the room and actually drops his phone when he realizes he's smiling from ear to ear.
Oh, this is so not good.
But he feels light and good for a change, and it's so addicting.
He sighs, picking his phone back up.
He's just going to send Blaine one more text, and then he's going to put his phone away.
He texts Blaine all night.