Author's Note
I am doing something I usually don't do here on . I am posting a story that is in progress. I haven't had much luck in finding a beta, so I figure why not get feedback as I go along? Think something is too fangirl-ish? Not enough? Let me know. OOC? Definitely let me know! I'll post responses to any feedback on this page rather than in the chapters they are about since I might adjust the chapters posted here and there.
Summary:
When on a mission to aid a planet that is trying to rebuild after the Ori conquered them and fend off the Lucian Alliance's attempts to enslave them for kassa production, SG1 finds that Vala has a unique history with the people. Now Vala is confronted with a past that she has been running from for over ten years and the choice to save the innocent by sacrificing herself, or walk away.
Spoilers:
Everything SG1 and everything SGA. Some stuff we found out in SGU, but this takes place before SGU and after the season finale of Atlantis, like maybe a couple of months after. Friends old and new come back, but hopefully in ways that make sense.
Warning:
I like whumpage. Which means my fics generally deal with adult content such as violence and implications of sex (no rape). This is definitely not a happy go lucky type fic, so be warned that it might be kinda tear jerking. At least, the ending was for me when I went ahead and wrote it.
Enjoy!
3/25/2010 Wow, it is finally done. Thank you to all of you who have left me such wonderful and encouraging reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed it and hope you enjoy the next one just as much! And a special thanks to dethmeggle for being my Shepp-o-meter. Sgt Ducky appreciates all you do! :) And to those Daniel/Vala shippers out there reading this: there will be a sequel, but for now just enjoy the epilogue as I wrote it for you Fruitcakes!
3/24/2010 All I have to say is: You guys are going to kill me. Only five more chapters till all is concluded though and I start working on the sequel. *ducks and covers*
Oh and gotthammer: Really? Wow! Thank you. I've seen you around on the GW forums and seen that you are pretty much as critical as I am (well, almost) of fanfic, so that means a lot coming from you! This one is dark, so the next one is going to be decidedly NOT dark lol
3/23/2010 around 3:30 AM!! Wow...well the muse has come back with a vengeance with this story. Got a few chapters for you guys, and only a handful more to actually write before this thing is done. So yay! Sorry for the delay. I get bored and hyper critical of my stories pretty quickly, which is why I don't usually do the post as I write thing. :D But we're good now! And criticize away, cause it is 3am here so yea...might be issues. :D
Responses:
Ringgoldgate: Glad you're enjoying it and I'll definitely keep it coming!
HAZMOT: Yea, this is an idea I've been toying with for awhile. I've read a few "Vala's History" fanfics, but most of them were pretty happy compared to what she's said. So I decided to go the darker route. Teal'c I think is really the one she would turn to right now more than Daniel or anyone else. They both have less than happy histories filled with deeds they regret and the guilt that accompanies those actions. And I think he would understand what it feels like when those around you start moving on, since I think his place with the Jaffa has been kinda iffy.
CaramelMonkey: 1) Ohhhh wait till you really see Jealous!Daniel. Hint: Vala out with a very suave ladies man that we've been introduced to in the Stargate world. *rubs hands together and laughs maniacally* 3) No, she didn't zat him. I guess I need to rewrite that to clarify. She saw the men with zat guns and that's when she straightened. He was turning around to see what spooked her when he got zatted. And anything you have to say about any chapter is welcome. Keep in mind this is unbetaed so the criticism is good! And I love Dr. Hutchison too. Just found out it is actually Hutchison not Hutchinson according to Gateworld, so I need to change that in other chapters. :)
acer-sigma: Yea, he does tend to get a bit judgmental or his hero complex comes into play. I think it's pretty safe to say Vala hates sympathy and hates feeling like the victim, mainly because parts of her past have placed her in the position of a victim. I think that's why she went down the thief route--she was taking control in the most extreme scenario. Hard to be a victim when you're the bad guy. I do have to disagree with her dealing with her past though. I don't even think she's fully dealt with Adria, let alone Adria's death. Vala's very good at running from problems. We've seen her slap on a smile when her eyes scream that she's really hurting plenty of times. I think it's easier for her to try to ignore her past and these heavy issues, because they are really heavy. Vala's lucky to have her sanity after playing host to a goa'uld, and I think she knows that. Like maybe she's afraid that if she really breaks down she'll be broken, you know? And eh, she called for Dr. Hutchison so it wasn't so much an appointment as he having him drop everything he was doing to play her punching bag. Glad you thought it was Daniel she was yelling at, that was my intention. :) Glad you are enjoying it!
Oldlibrn: There's power in the eyebrow.
acer-sigma: I agree. Completely impossible for Daniel to not push it. I always loved the look on his face whenever they would start to talk about the Adria stuff and she would blow it off. You could almost see the sheer force of will he was exerting in not going after her. :)
HAZMOT: Hmmm. No, the only reason really that the whole gang is there is because I love writing with them around. Atlantis gang included, which is really why this is timed after Atlantis ended and hopefully before any Atlantis or SG1 movie picks up. They all have their roles to play, Tok'ra included, so hopefully it doesn't seem too much like fangirl wish fulfillment by having them all there. And yes, I plan on throwing a hammer in it all. If by hammer you mean severe emotional and physical whumpage of certain characters...hehee
1/7/2010
Sorry it has taken so long to update! It has been a busy busy last couple of weeks!
Oldibrn: Thanks! I thought about having Ronan step up to the plate instead of Sheppard, but I think Sheppard works better in this particular scenario.
mandy: Thanks! Glad you are enjoying it and glad it works in an episodic way for ya!
acer-sigma: My thinking exactly, which is why I used Sheppard. Just about everyone on base has probably seen Daniel and Vala interact, which means they can tell. And since Sheppard doesn't know Daniel that well, maybe he's thought something but dismissed it over the years for Daniel's lack of action. And I'm glad the Mitchell thing worked. I know if I worked with Daniel and Vala throughout the years, I'd get tired of the will they or won't they thing and end up calling them on it! If anyone would, I think it would be Cam.
HAZMOT: I know, I know! I'm killing you with the one chapter only updates! Hehe Daniel isn't being overprotective, he's just hiding behind that whole "Vala is vulnerable" line because he's jealous and doesn't want to admit it. And yea, bad things coming up for poor Vala.
Caramel Monkey: I've always thought Ronan and Vala would get along. They've both lived solitary existences on the run and had to do things they probably aren't proud of just to survive. With them, it would be more of a silent bond. I'd love to see some interaction between the two of them, particularly his reactions to any advances she would inevitably make.
I know there are more reviews I haven't responded to, but trying to move forward so onward we go!
1/9/2010
acer-sigma: Puddle jumpers. Hrmph. Why didn't I think of that first? I reworked it to fit them in because I couldn't (nor could my husband) think of a reason why they wouldn't use them. And then I had to think of how to make the puddle jumper rescue attempt fail or let's face it, this story would be over a lot sooner than I planned on. :)
Oldlibrn: Yea I'd love to see Ronon have some words with Daniel about how he needs to man up. He wouldn't be as subtle as Sheppard, that's for sure.
HAZMOT: I'll try not to keep you waiting for too long this time. ;) And take comfort in knowing that the closer we get to the end, the fast they'll come. I've been writing forwards and backwards at the same time as the scenes come to me, so most of the end is done. :D
CaramelMonkey: Yea, Sheppard really needs to get his "STOP! She's in love with someone else!" radar fixed. First Teyla and now Vala. Hehe And man, the sympathy you guys already have for the characters like Daniel and Vala really make me worry you are gonna hate me when it starts getting rougher for them! Once the Vala/Daniel emotional whumpage commences, I might have to take shelter somewhere! hehehe
1/13/2010
HAZMOT: Ya know, I actually had to reread it to make sure I didn't have the president say SG1 couldn't go, and then had to figure out a way to correct the fact that Landry did. You guys sure know how to keep me in check when I start to throw a wrench into my own story! Hehehe And yea, I'm not really sure Daniel has ever given much thought as to what that was like for Vala. I think the harsh reality would have sort of damaged the idea that Sha're would have been okay if she had the goa'uld removed. But when you sit back and think about it, the goa'uld did some pretty horrible stuff. And the hosts witnessed that, witnessed their own hands murdering innocent people. No one comes away from that skipping and singing. So I think part of the reason she tried to go back was guilt and part of it was just that she was out of her mind at the time. She didn't know who she was, she had no home to go back to, no family. And yea, this situation is definitely torture for her. She's not one to sit back and watch while everyone else does the dirty work.
Oldlibrn: You'll get your answers soon. :) Puddle jumpers to the rescue my foot! It's never that easy.
1/26/2010
I know, I know it's been forever and a day since I updated! The muse has kinda left me....mainly cause I'm going into over-critical "is this too cheesy/angsty?" mode, like I usually do when writing the really gritty emotional stuff. What can I say? I'm more of a "blow things up" kinda gal. But good news on the muse end! I think this might turn into a series. She's already given me quite a few different sequel ideas, and an idea for a new alien race. Fun fun! Have to finish this one first, so here's the next three chapters! (Maybe more if I find I can't sleep!)
2/12/2010
Crikees? Has it really been that long since I've updated? Eep. Sorry guys, the muse has kinda left this story and gone to the many sequel ideas I have for it. Only two chapters with the update today but hopefully the muse will allow me to finish this with a quickness!