-shatter-

edward/bella.

By Katie

a/n: April Fool's! Yeah, okay, well this story isn't exactly what I'd call "happy", per se...it's Bella!angst, if you must know. It's just sorta a depiction of how she felt maybe a month or so after Edward left during New Moon. And it's sorta drabble-ish...I don't post enough drabble. (:

disclaimer: Would I have this disclaimer here if it were mine?

:x:

Have you ever stared at the rain? Stared at it for hours, watched as it fell in a slow, steady pattern. Stared as it dripped off of the too-green leaves of the tree by your house.

Because I do that. I do that every night.

If I sleep, then they come.

The nightmares. The awful, horrific nightmares where I'm all alone and there's nothing but blackness. Pitch black nothingness that envelops my entire being and leaves a hole inside of me. It's frightening. It makes me yearn for him.

He used to watch the rain with me sometimes. We'd try to count the raindrops on my windowpane, but it was always impossible. A new flood of raindrops would wash the others away.

It hurts to think about him, so I don't do it often. Usually I end up crying.

Tonight, I can't cry. The tears of the sky are my tears.

I sit in my bed, and I can almost feel his cool arms wrapped around me. I can almost feel his icy lips brushing against my forehead. But almost isn't enough.

A strangled cry escapes my throat as I see a black shadow from the corner of my room. Something like "Edward!" escapes my lips, but just barely. I refuse to let myself say the name out loud. I'm terrified, my limbs are frozen in fear.

The shadow is that of the rocking chair.

Apparently I can cry tonight, because I feel moisture at the corners of my eyes. I don't bother wipe it away; more is coming anyway. A night of tears and agony is headed my way.

I can almost feel his cool fingers caressing my cheeks and I can almost hear him humming, humming my lullaby.

Almost.

Bella? Bella?

Is that him calling my name?

"Bella? Bella, honey, is everything alright?"

But it's not him. It's Charlie. My dad. My dad who's had to listen to me every night for three weeks.

"Bella, you're freezing."

When did his arms wrap around me? My angel's departure has left me unobservant and slow to react.

I hadn't realized I was cold; apparently I am, because I'm shivering violently.

Charlie stays in my room and puts three extra blankets on my bed, because my limbs are left immobile. I can't help being numb. I haven't felt any emotion or pain other than pure desolation and loneliness.

He kisses my forehead and closes my door.

I realize that he had asked me if I was okay.

I'm okay.

I'm only shattered.

That's all.

:x:

Well, there's your daily dose of happy. Ha. Right.

Please review with more than "so sad!" or something, thanks. I'd appreciate it greatly.