4:00 AM
GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA
It was a rainy night in the big bad prison. Medusa was hanging out in her prison cell, after being arrested for murder, child abuse, bribery, theft, attempted mass genocide, driving a camel on the highway, and dying. "Bored Bored Bored" Medusa said. She was so bored that she just kept saying bored. "Bored bored bored bored bored" she said. However, she heard footsteps coming from outside her cell. "What could that be?" Medusa said. It was…
…one of the guards. "Well, this is your lucky day" the guard told Medusa. "You're finally going to be free!" he said. "Wait, but don't I have 50 more years stuck in here?" Medusa asked. She was just curious, and whatever the guard said wouldn't change what she did. "You are being let out early due to good behavior" the guard said. "Oh, OK!" she said, happy that she was finally free. She walked through the prison, hiding her true intentions until she was out of the facilities.
Then all hell broke loose. Medusa started killing everybody with her powers, and got into a buggy. She drove it across the prison, running over tons of guards. Meanwhile, in a prison watchtower, a terrified guard contacted the warden, saying "Sir?" "What?" the warden said. One of the ex-prisoners just started killing all the guards, and is running them over with one of our buggies!" the guard said. "And?" the warden said.
"she doesn't have a driver's license" the guard said.
Suddenly, the warden got really pissed, and shouted across the entire facility (he didn't even need an intercom) "ALL UNITS, KILL THE EX-CONVICT! SEND OUT EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT!"
Soldiers, Helicopters, Tanks, and Firetrucks all came to take Medusa down. But just then, Medusa hopped onto a low-hanging chopper and tossed out the guards. She then hijacked it, laughing as she flew out of the radar's sight straight into the Caribbean Sea. It was time to get revenge. Revenge on Maka. Revenge on Death. Revenge on THE WORLD.
HERBERT J. SCHLOMICZAIHJIOANEGO PRESENTS
S E G T
O A O R
U T O O
L E F O
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CHAPTER 1: THE CHAOS BEGINS
Later that day, back in the Death Weapon Meister's Academy, Maka and Soul were playing Turtles in Time. It was glorious. But the gloriousness was soon ruined when Gwonam came in, and told them, "Your majesty, Medusa and his minions have seized the island of whatever the town from Goof Troop is called!" "Hmm, how can we help?" Maka said. "It is written, only you guys can defeat Medusa" Gwonam said. "GREAT! I'LL GRAB MY STUFF! :D" Maka said. "There is no time, Soul is enough" Gwonam said. Then Maka and Soul got bored and ran to the town where Goof Troop takes place.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM MEDUSA AND I AM EVIL!" Medusa said. She was in Goofy's house. "Whuddya need?" Goofy said. He and Max were watching "The Langoliers". "SCARING THE LITTLE GIIIIIRL?" Mr. Toomy said. "Gawrsh, this is funny" Goofy said. "Excuse me, I'M EVIL AND I'M RIGHT HERE AND I'M BEING IGNORED" Medusa said. "We're trying not to look at you because you're gonna turn us into rocks" Goofy said. "No, I-I'm not like that" Medusa said. "I'm just really evil and stuff. I'm just a bad guy" she said. "Gawrsh!" Goofy said, "It's a bad guy! Max, kill it!" "OK!" Max said as he pulled out an RPG-type gun.
It was…
…THE B.O.O.P. GUN
It was a gun that shot the boops from the Goof Troop game on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. It was a good game. You've probably already heard of it because of Game Grumps. ANYWAYS, Max fired like crazy at Medusa, who tried to dodge them but just couldn't resist the boopiness. So Medusa, scared of what would happen should there be any more boopin', ran for her dear life and teleported away.
"Gawrsh, Max, you did good!" Goofy said. He was proud of his son for shooting up Medusa. Just then, someone broke their wall! "Stop, Medusa or we'll HUH?!" Maka said, "Where is she?" "Oh, are you talking about that crazy lady who just came in here talking about how she was evil and stuff? Because she just ran away after my sun shot her up with the Boop gun." Goofy said. "You guys took down MEDUSA?" Maka said. "I guess so" Goofy said. "Welp" Maka said. Now she'd seen everything. Soul was busy trying out the Boop Gun. They could tell because they heard PJ next door screaming while being pelted by BOOPs. "Come on Soul, Medusa's not going to stop herself" Maka said, as they went back to the Death Weapon Meister Academy. "We may have won the battle" Maka said, "But the war has just begun."
So, they flew back into the Death Weapon Meister Academy. Death the Kid was organizing his room, Black*Star was playing Call of Duty, Tsubaki and the Thompson sisters were out on a road trip, Lord Death was talking to Spirit, and the lady from the Star Wars Christmas Special was stirring and whipping. "Guys, this is super important! MEDUSA IS BACK!" Maka screamed. "Cool" Black*Star said, and then yelled into the mike "lol u just got pwnd fag." Death the Kid started having a panic attack, and jumped out the building. Death and Spirit weren't listening. The Star Wars Christmas Special Lady said, "Stir, whip! Stir, whip! Whip, whip, stir!" Maka and Soul were not amused. But neither was Death when he realized what had happened. "Well, now you're more powerful and stuff. Just do it. Just kill Medusa again" Death said. "Well, you see, about that…" Maka said. "One day, Soul and I were out doing… …things… …when we got abducted by aliens. And they drained our power" Maka explained to Lord Death. Lord Death responded, "Well, to put this in the nicest and most eloquent way possible, SHIET" Lord Death said, as he had a potty mouth. Kinda. Then, Lord Death ballsily said, "I'm sending you two...
…to BOOT CAMP!"
TO BE CONTINUED
IN CHAPTER TWO