Mad World
Cassie was sitting in her dorm room waiting to be picked up by Samantha Carter, who, of course, was late. She knew it wasn't Sam's fault but the high pressure, highly classified job she held. Cassie was, at least, not afraid something had happened. She had gotten an e-mail from Sam saying that she was running late. Cassie was a bit jittery these days and it was due to the tragic death of her mom, her foster mom really, Janet Frasier, gone just a year now. Cassie's life was a mess, two moms down, hell, the whole population of her planet dead, every last soul. And who else's life would she bring tragedy to. She had been watching a DVD of 'Donnie Darko' to pass the time and couldn't get 'Mad World' out of her head. The song was hypnotic. Cassie felt as though the song was the story of her life. Sometimes her dreams and even waking moments were filled with thoughts of death and dying. Should she have died instead of her mom? Would anyone really miss her if she had died on Hanka at the hand of Nirrti? Wouldn't it have been easier, so much less painful?
Was everyone waiting for the day they would feel good? She sure as hell was but didn't think she had a chance. And as for others, just take Jack and Sam, two really bright people but what idiots. They could have everything but denied reality. It just about bit them in the ass and they still didn't see it or just couldn't admit it. "Run in circles" – that's what they did, couldn't they see it? She just didn't get it; maybe she could arrange a little push to give them day when they could "feel good". It might take a gigantic shove but she had to make it seem like it was their idea. She never met two more pig headed people. One thing she knew for sure, one sighting of that looser Shanahan and she was out of there. No staying at Sam's for the weekend if she had to stomach the creep and his slimy smile. Maybe he wasn't that bad but it just frosted her shorts to see Sam with him. She'd bail to Jack's and work on him.
Bored to death of sitting in her room Cassie popped on her iPod while waiting outside the dorm for signs of the silver Volvo. One of her friends had snuck a hymn on Cassie's play list and listening to it, it occured to her maybe Jack loved them but could accept the thought that they truly loved him in return, that they loved him just for himself. Didn't he think he was worthy of their affection? Was it that he had no faith in them or could it be insecurity? Or had the years so beaten him down plus Sam's defection to Shanahan that he had lost hope of having love in his life? She had her work cut out for her. If these two couldn't make a go of life, what hope was there for her? She was going to do this not just for them but for herself. If there was a "Great I Am" she hoped that He loved these mere mortals as much as she did – they were just about all she had left.
Gary Jules – "Mad World"
Alexander Means and William Walker – "What Wondrous Love Is This"