So, I just finished season 3 and was so happy to see that I wasn't the only one seeing this tension between Bobbie and Chrisjen. A lot happened in this fandom since I finished season 2 and I'm so glad people out there are writing about this ship! So I sat in the car today, listening to Ella Fitzgerald and suddenly I had this scene in my head, so I had to write it down. There are probably some mistakes in here, it's late and I'm tired, but I didn't want to wait, so here we go.
PS: Listen to the song: Stairway to the stars (Ella Fitzgerald), it's magical!
Bobbie had seen enough. The crew of the Roci was a mess and in the middle of all that chaos surrounding them she had to deal with the UN Undersecretary Chrisjen Avasarala, who had locked herself in their quarters. She was sure the old woman needed some time to herself, after all they'd been through, Bobbie felt that same need rising in her chest. She stood at the door to their quarters for at least ten minutes, unsure if she wanted to enter or not. Of all the things that made her insecure while dealing with the earther, it was the unpredictability that made everything much worse. Bobbie had found herself being weirdly attracted to the woman and the thought of having to share quarters with her made her feel strangely nervous. One wrong word, a certain look or move could tell her how Bobbie really felt. She had never met a person that observing, it was just intimidating.
Suddenly she heard music filling the room behind the door, sounds that she'd never heard before. It was soft and calming and also... no there were no words to describe what that music made her feel.
Eventually, she managed to open the door, finding Chrisjen sitting on her bunk, eyes closed with a glass filled with clear liquid in her hands. She showed no reaction, but Bobbie knew she was aware of her. For a moment there, the soldier hesitated by the doorway, not knowing whether it was a good idea to disturb the woman. Seconds passed as the room was filled with soft piano sounds, combined with a smooth bass line and trumpets.
"Bobbie, get the fuck in here already and close the door." Chrisjen said, without opening her eyes. For a moment, the Martian's head was empty as she was trying to stop the wild prickling in her stomach that came automatically as soon as the heard that sultry voice.
"Yes Ma'am." she quickly responded before doing as she was said. "How did you know it was me?"
Finally, she woman's lips turned into a smile as she opened her eyes.
"Nobody else would hesitate at the door. You stare a lot."
Bobbie felt the blood rushing through her cheeks. So she did notice. Great.
"You're also the stiffest person I know. Would you fucking relax for once?"
"I'm not stiff Ma'am, just professional." she answered, but at the same time she became aware of the fact that she stood in the middle of the room, stiff and tall like a tree, eyes focused on the wall in front of her. She was very well capable of relaxing, but hell she wasn't ready to let her guard down with her.
Chrisjen smiled knowingly, Bobbie could see that from the corner of her eye. Who was she trying to fool, she probably was an open book to the woman.
"There's plenty of time being professional tomorrow or at least when this ship decides the night is over. I fucking hate being in space."
"You're not wearing your mag boots." Bobbie noticed.
"They're goddamn uncomfortable."
"They're goddamn important when the thrust gives out."
Chrisjen exhaled with a frustrated sigh. She rose from the bunk and moved over to the table. Bobbie's eyes followed her every move as she wondered what the older woman was going to do. She had braced herself for a full grown discussion about safety on board and how Madam Avasarala gave a shit about the rules, but instead she heard another song starting to fill the cabin. She heard this dreamy female voice again and figured it was the same singer, but the new song was even dreamier. That was the word she'd been missing before. The music made her feel dreamy.
"Who is it?" she hummed.
"This is Ella Fitzgerald, Stairway to the stars. Its my favourite song." Chrisjen said while turning around. From the look on her face she was pleased with Bobbie's reaction. The soldier had begun to soften. She felt her shoulders sinking into a more comfortable position. It was terrifying how easily Chrisjen Avasarala got what she wanted. Bobbie was beginning to relax and she couldn't get herself to stop.
For a moment there, they just looked at each other and the soldier was sure she saw a dreamy look in the other woman's eyes, too. Then, slowly and with an incredible gentle grace, the older woman began to move until she stood right in front of her. Chrisjen Avasarala was small and soft, her tiny figure seemed thoroughly fragile to Bobbie, but her pretty face and voice were the toughest weapons she'd ever met.
"Well... move your feet." she growled and the look on her face made it very clear that it had been an order, but Bobbie's feet were frozen. She opened her mouth so say something, but the words got stuck in her throat when Chrisjen took her right hand in hers and placed the other one on Bobbie's shoulder.
"Come on, you know how to dance or not?"
"I..." Bobbie was unsure of what to do. Her mind was racing, but her body felt indeed stiff and frozen. The warmth of Chrisjen's hand in hers was mesmerizing.
"For fucks sake Bobbie, just put your fucking hand on my hip and sway from left to right, that's not so fucking hard." she said with an encouraging smile.
Finally, Bobbie gained control over herself again. She got rid of her mag boots and did what she was told, pulling the other woman a little up against her by the waist and gently started to move. She was so tall that Chrisjen's forehead almost leaned against her chin. For a moment they just let themselves get lost into the music, so much that Bobbie almost forgot how incredibly nervous this situation was making her feel.
"Now... if you're hitting on me..." Bobbie eventually whispered when her natural boldness finally came back, too. "... I'm flattered."
She felt the breath of a chuckle hit her throat.
"Don't be ridiculous. I just like to dance."
"How many people have you danced with like this?" she whispered against the shiny, dark hair. It was indeed kind of intimate. She could not imagine dancing with someone like this just for fun. She could feel and smell Chrisjen's unique scent, her breath hitting the bare skin of her neck, it was arousing.
"Just what exactly are you implying?"
"Nothing Ma'am, just asking."
"Some."
"Some?"
"I'm old. I had my first dance long before you were born."
"You're not that old."
Another chuckle hit her throat before felt Chrisjen softly leaning back to look at her.
"Flatterer."
The combination of her voice, her shimmering, dreamy eyes and the self-secure smile on her lipstick-lips made it impossible to not want to lean down to kiss her, but Bobbie reminded herself of who she was and that it wouldn't be a good idea to try to kiss the UN Undersecretary, especially after she'd told her she hadn't such inclinations. Besides the obvious age gap and the fact that she was a Martian soldier dancing with a woman who was supposed to be her enemy, Chrisjen Avasarala was still married. She just kept looking at the soft face in front of her, but then quickly noticed a worried expression in her eyes. They were still dancing to that dreamy song, but both came back to reality, even if they did not want to. The war was still going on, people out there died every second and both of their lifes were at risk, even if they'd found temporary security on the Rocinante.
"Thank you..." Bobbie whispered, without breaking their intense staring. "For trying to calm me down..."
"I know... it's fucking impossible, I keep thinking of all these useless sacrifices of lives... how could we ever calm down."
"At least we tried." Bobbie reassured her with a smile. The whole atmosphere had changed in a heartbeat. Still, she felt a tingling sensation in her belly, looking at Chrisjen, but it was mixed with pure worry as well.
"You're a good dancer." Chrisjen purred and hell, it was doing something do Bobbie! This woman was playing with fire and she probably knew it.
"More flirting? You should be careful, I could misinterpret your intentions..."
Bobbie did not know where she took the courage to say those words, but she was so sick of the woman's endless innuendos, especially right now being in this mess.
Before she got an answer she heard a warning signal coming from the speakers of the ship, but she wasn't quick enough to go for her mag boots. With their last dancing step they started floating in the air. The sound of utter shock that came from Chrisjen's mouth was beyond amusing. She knew the woman hated zero g.
"Motherfucker I'm running around all day with those fucking mag boots and nothing happens..."
Bobbie was shaking with laughter. Having the woman cursing in her arms was surprisingly amusing. If anything, she was starting to feel really relaxed while Chrisjen was clutching at her.
"I told you they're goddamn impor-"
"I know what you've said, you're a fucking smartass." she interrupted with a totally adoring eye-roll. "How long do you think this will last?"
"Hm..." Bobbie hummed, grabbing the rail of the bunk they had been floating to. "Long enough for me to have a damn good time."
Bobbie managed to still them in the air using the rail of the bunk. She watched a single strand of Chrisjens dark hair floating in the air, the woman's facial features looking strangely different without gravity, but not any less beautiful.
"I think you owe me an answer." Bobbie blurted out.
"You didn't ask a question."
"You know what I mean."
"So getting you to relax is all it takes for you to finally grow some balls, good to know."
"What is it about you politicians that you seem to be incapable of giving straight answers?"
"Bobbie, you're not an idiot, so please stop fucking acting like one."
The music had ended. For a moment there, everything was silent and they were just looking at each other. Was it really true? Was the attraction mutual? She studied the older woman's face, but found despite the usual worried expression something that she hadn't seen very often: fear. Doubt flooded her. The woman was so vulnerable in her arms, it was hard to imagine her being one of the most powerful people of humanity. Bobbie did not know what it was she felt for her, it was a lot admiration and respect, she was in awe of her brilliant mind and determination, but also completely and utterly sexually attracted to her. What was it that Chrisjen saw in her? A pretty, muscular, strong and willpowered young soldier with a crush on an older woman? Was all of this about pushing her ego?
"You're overthinking... stop doing that." Chrisjen whispered. "There's no need for definitions now..."
She said that while gently rubbing Bobbie's cheek and bringing their faces closer to each other. Bobbie was incapable of deciding what to do. She was a soldier, goddammit, she followed orders or made others follow her orders. She was trained in tactics, in surviving, in winning, but she definitely wasn't trained for kissing Chrisjen Avasarala.
"I never expected this..." she whispered against the older woman's lips. "But I'm on for the ride... wherever it will lead us to..."
Their lips met softly and it was more of a promise than anything else. She'd never been kissed like that before. It was so innocent and calm, dreamy like the song they'd been listening to. Chrisjen slightly pulled away. Her breath was all over Bobbie's face when she spoke.
"Good. Now please hold me. Make me forget about fucking zero g, about this fucking war and the fucking protomolecule."
Bobbie had a lot ideas on how to do that, but for now she decided the fragile bundle of exhaustion in her arms just needed her to be there and make her feel secure. She wrapped her arms around Chrisjen's small form and sighed at the feeling of warmth against her. She wanted more, but right at that moment it was all she needed.