Disclaimer: Characters not mine, yadda yadda
This fic is based on the chapter "Helm's Deep" from 'The Two Towers' The battle scene where Gimli and Legolas are comparing body count.
"Two!" Cried Gimli the dwarf to his Elvis companion Legolas. "Two with one swift swing of my axe." His eyes glowed with pride as he looked down at his axe.
"Well done Master Gimli, two is not bad. But I make my count to be at least twenty." Legolas boasted as he searched the ground for more arrows. "But that is only a few leaves in the forest."
"Twenty indeed." Gimli huffed under his breath. "Probably bored them to death with talk of the forest."
"No more than you would have done, though speaking of caves." Legolas retorted.
"Damn Elves don't miss a thing."
As the night wore on, so did the battle. Orcs and men breached the fort, fighting tooth and nail with the tired Riders and their companions. But tired as they were they would not give up, with dawn there was to come a new hope, a hope that was but moments away. But the battle was intense, arrows narrowly missing their targets; swords being thrust deep into the ribs and chests of man and orc alike. Tired and injured the men of Rohan held their ground, while Gimli and Legolas continued their count.
"Twenty-one!" said Gimli, his chest puffed out.
"My dear dwarf, I still am beating you, two dozen by my last count."
"You lie!" Gimli yelled at Legolas.
"I would never!" A smile spread across his lips as he flicked his hair behind his shoulder. "Archery is a greater skill than swinging an axe, do you really believe that you could beat an archer of Mirkwood?"
"We will see. The battle is not yet over and dawn approaches."
As the battle raged on, the Men of Rohan were separated from one another, one group held the fort, while the other was forced into the caves. They fought well into the light of day, still fighting as hard as their tired limbs would allow. "Where is Gimli?" asked Legolas as he sheathed his knife, having spent all of his arrows.
"Gimli is here, Master Elf. I was one of the few forced into the caves. Caves as such that I have never seen before."
"Yes well, I'm sure every cave may seem different to you, but they are all damp, dark and smelly to me. What be your count?"
"Forty-two on my last check. And you?"
"You have beaten my score by one my dear Gimli."
With that, Gimli began to dance a jig, singing in his native tongue. "May I see this axe that has cut down so many?" Legolas asked when he had finally stopped dancing.
"You may, my dear Elf." Gimli handed over the axe with an air of pride and joy.
"It is a remarkable piece of weaponry."
"That she is."
Legolas swung the axe a couple of times, getting the feel of it. It is one weapon that I would be pleased to become acquainted with.
"And when this war is done, maybe you shall."
"Maybe!" Legolas said as he took one last swing. A thump and a roll followed. "But why wait?" Dropping the axe Legolas walked past the decapitated body of Gimli. "I see we draw on our body count Master Gimli."