You could remember me from my Harry Potter parodies. I've decided to write a James Bond Story now. I won't be doing the play stuff for this one! I only do that in parodies. This will sort of be like the movies. This took place after Casino Royale so yeah. Enjoy!

James Bond was an 00 agent. He got promoted in his last mission. James always had his handy Walther PPK for any sight of danger. Even in a safe place. He also sleeps with it under his pillow. It was James's most favorite gun. He also was great at Martial Arts and is the strongest Agent of all. He has survived in many dangerous missions. Even the most dangerous ones. He had also got rewards during the missions. They were girls. The only thing he seemed to loath were all those dangerous villians.

In England, James Bond was walking toward a museum with his friend who wants the job of the museum. His name was Joseph Menti. James had recently met him in a ship and had became good friends with him. When they came across the Museum they stopped for a moment. "It looks great for you," James said looking at Joseph. "It sure is," Joseph said with a grin expression. "Shall we?" James said as Joseph nodded in reply.

They walked into the building seeing pictures of new items. "Dinosaur bone found from "Ross Terol". Our boss.

"I'm quite fond he'll take you," James said as Joseph grinned a little. The brown haired and quite tall person walked toward the counter. "Name's Joseph Menti, I've heard you need someone for the Dinosaur Exhibit?" Joseph said. The Woman looked up. "Of course and you're willing to take the job?" She asked as Joseph nodded. "Go upstairs and keep going up," She said as Joseph said "thank you."

"Did you get the job?" James asked curiously. "Not yet," Joseph said. "All I need to do is go upstairs and meet the boss for it. James nodded as they all walked upstairs.

The staircase was quite long. It took them about 66 steps to get all the way up. "So that's the office of Ross Terol," James said. "Excuse me?" Joseph asked as James said "you're boss," as they opened the door and saw a man with white hair. He was wearing a blue tuxedo. "Ah! I'm looking forward to take you in for the job! By the way British person, love your tux. Relic! Josh! Come up!" Ross said through his mic.

"Erm thanks but I'm not british," Joseph said. "Yeah I know that! I was talking to him!" Ross said pointing to James. "Well it's not me taking the job. It's him," James said pointing to Joseph. "Oh. Well I'm afraid you can't," Ross said as Joseph felt so horrible. "And why is that?" James said defending Joseph. "Well er...I don't trust him," Ross said as 2 men came from the door. "Why not?" James asked to Ross.

Ross stood there froze thinking for an excuse. "Sir, that's the-" One of the men said whispering to Ross, "agent," "Ah..." Ross said shortly. "Kill him," Whispered Ross to both of the men's ears. "Excuse me while I take myself to the bathroom," Ross said as he left the room. "I didn't quite get the job," Joseph said shortly.

"Now," One of the men whispered as they took out a Desert Eagle (A type of pistol.) until James took out his Walther PPK and shot the guard in the left who fell on his knees and body to the floor. The other guard however shot a bullet which missed James by an inch. James shot that guard.

James ran toward the pistol taking the bullets from it and putting it in the Desert Eagle. He then handed it to Joseph. "Use it when needed" James said. "I don't know how to reload this or even use it!" Joseph said. "Use the cock to reload and the trigger to shoot" James said. Joseph opened the door to leave until he saw 8 guards in front of it holding a Desert Eagle. He quickly closed it running away from the door.

James went over to the desk and opened the drawers seeing a letter. He read it outloud. It was written in sharpie. "Dear Mr.Terol I have a new assignment for you, I need you to kill that rotten agent! He killed a lot of my favorite villians and I can't take it anymore! I want him dead! BY TOMORROW! Anonymous." James looked at the letter. "Smart guy knowing I'd read it," James said as he looked at a wall.

"What?" Joseph asked in astonishment. James held his right hand up with his watch on it and shot it with a beam of laser. He made a rectangle and kicked it. "How'd you-GET DOWN!" James interupted to Joseph as he pushed him down. A bullet came zooming by. James shot the guard with the Walther PPK.

"It's called a gadget," James said said as they ran through the wall. The exhibit was ROCKS AND MINERALS. James saw a 5 carot diamond and saw a 10 carot ruby. He saw a guard behind him through the diamond and he tripped the guard and threw him down the floor and smacked the guard's neck. "Wow," Joseph said as James told Joseph " Use your Desert Eagle to shoot down the guards! Meanwhile I'll be trying to find the door out of here. If I see any guards sees me, I'll shoot them down!" James said as Joseph nodded.

Joseph saw a guard and tried to shoot it with the Desert Eagle but instead shot a sapphire shaped like a dragon. The guard laughed pointing his gun at Joseph but the sapphire fell crashing onto the guard. Joseph shot him down and took his bullets.

James was snooping around until he heard a sound from behind the wall. He wall hugged it trying to be unseen. He then saw 2 guards looking for him. James silenced his Walther PPK so that it made no noise. "This place have so many shiny rocks eh? Hello?" When the guard turned around he saw the other guard on the floor dead. "AH!" The guard yelled as a bullet shot him from behind. He fell on his knees onto the ground. "It's called silenced," James said reloading his gun.

Joseph saw 2 guards standing together pointing their guns to Joseph but Joseph tried shooting a chandlair but terribly missed. The chandlair fell killing the guards. Joseph turned around and saw James behind him. "Learn to aim," James said as they walked out the door.

James and Joseph wall hugged seeing a guard was near the walls. "If you may," James said as Joseph nodded. Joseph tried to shoot the guard but missed. "Oh om god," James said. The guard has seen them both and tried shooting them with his Desert Eagle. One of them almost shot him but missed. James shot the guard down. "Let's look for Ross," James said. "But he's my boss!" Joseph said. "Yeah, an evil one," James said as they ran to the Human Body exhibit.

James and Joseph saw blood flowing back to the heart and pumping it out. He also saw each of the brain's job. James heard footsteps and shot a guard from behind. "How'd you?"Joseph stood there as James pointed at his ears. "I seem to use my body," James said as he crounched under the Kidney tank. James showed only his eyes looking for the guards. When he heard a "Kink!" James automatically would get down dodging the shot. James pointed his PPK at the guard and Tsk! The Silenced PPK shot down the guard.

Joseph was however looking for a way out and stopped when he saw a guard. The guard shot 2 bullets to Joseph but they missed. Joseph's 3 shots has missed by an inch or 2. Joseph's 4th shot however hit the guard by the neck. It wasn't quite worth it to shoot out 4 bullets to kill one man. James was the first to find a door. James pointed at it as they ran into it. They had found themselves in a DINOSAUR EXHIBIT.

James looked around the room and pointed at Ross. "Look! Up there! The guy who set this all up!" James said. Ross was standing on the skull of a T-Rex. Ross just laughed. "Very good Mr. Bond, you really are a strong agent. Hahaha! Kill him," Ross said as 4 guards came by with their Desert Eagle cocked. James shot one of them at the torso killing it. Joseph ducked under a bullet and shot the one in the left with the Desert Eagle right in the groin. James then kicked a guard and moved his neck left to dodge a bullet from another guard which has shot the guard James had kicked. James shot that guard in the eye killing it.

"Very good! Very good! May back-up work with you?" Ross said as 6 guards surrounded them. James shot his Q-Grappler at the knee of the T-Rex with his watch. Then he told Joseph "Kill them off!" as he launched himself up. "What? Against them?" Joseph asked as he shot a guard and dodging a lot of bullets.

James on the other hand was trying to get up to the skull of the T-Rex. Ross took out an AK-47(A gun that is a machine gun. It is black and brown and you have to hold with 2 hands.) and tried shooting James but James dodged the bullets. After 15 shots Ross reloaded his AK-47. James had reached to the upper joint of the leg. His only problem was not only Ross now. It were guards from under him.

"I told you to kill them!" James said dodging a bullet from the Desert Eagle. "I tried but there's too many!" Joseph said as he reloaded his gun hiding behind crates. James shot two guards with his Walther PPK. Then James looked up seeing the AK-47 Ross was holding pointing at his face. "Oh shit," James exclaimed. Since the guards were crowded together Joseph got an easy shot at the guards. "That's it!" James said as he climbed up until he couldn't. Ross shot 20 bullets at James which has nearly hit him. Then Ross reloaded his AK-47.

James pointed his watch at the Dinosaur's claws and aimed at it stabbing a claw to it. James's Q-Grappler helped James come across to the claws and helped him dodge bullets. James felt one of them slide through his wrist but not going into his body but made him bleed with a cut. James grunted shortly looking up at Ross. James began to climb up trying to dodge as many bullets as he can and he was then at the bottom of the dinosaur's skull.

James went through a hole in the skull and popped out from the eye. When he saw Ross holding his AK-47 which was pointing at him he knelt down. He then jumped up from the eye kicking Ross in the face. Ross wiped out the blood from his cheek and ran toward James punching him left, right, and left. James felt astonishing pain.

Ross choked James pointing the AK-47 at James's cheek. "It's a wonder how you got here!" Ross said as James kicked him in the shin and shot a bullet from his PPK but it missed Ross when he jabbed left. Ross shot out bullets from his AK-47. James quickly ran under the T-Rex's eye and got back up shooting a bullet from the PPK at Ross's knees. Ross fell down on his knee.

James got out from the Dinosaurs eye and kicked the AK-47 out of Ross's hand which had fell down. "Please spare me! I'll give your friend the job!" Ross said in a scared voice. "He doesn't need it," James said. James pointed his gun at his head. "Any last words?" James asked. "Five. Drakken will get his revenge," Ross said, "Okay then," James said as he shot the bullet from his gun. Ross had died.

"Drakken? I guess I'll need that for a clue," James said as he grappled toward the ceiling. Then he gently let himself down shooting the guards. "Let's go! James said as he took Joseph by the arm and ran out of the dinosaur exhibit dodging bullets. The woman from the counter looked at them jetting out. "Did you-" She said but James said "No he haven't got the job!! Sorry but we're in a rush!" James said as he and Joseph ran away shooting the guards with bullets.

Wow this is long! It took me like two hours to make! TWO HOURS! I hope it had a lot of action. The next chapter shall come out shortly. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of the story.