The temperature of his skin was cold as ice. Her heart was racing as a tear dripped down her pale dry cheek, staining the dark pavement. The weight of his body was suffocating, pinning her against the rough brick alley wall. She began to shake as he threw himself onto her, crushing her chest. He slowly reached down and slipped off her panties. She screamed out for help once again, but no one came. She tried to close her eyes, to zone him out and go to a better place, but the silence only reminded her of what was happening.

Two hours earlier…

Emily's eyes were fluttering closed as she finished the last of her seemingly endless paperwork. She had had a hard day, a case that didn't end the way any of them would have hoped. Many cases had been ending on bad notes lately. As she began to drift off, a pair of strong warm hands grasped her shoulders and neck. She craned her head slightly, catching the gaze of her husband. A small smile formed in the corner of her mouth. "Hey!" she said as he slowly began to massage her back.

"Hey beautiful." he whispered in her ear then he placed a kiss on her forehead. "Screw the paperwork babe. Let's go home and try again."

She bit her lip then let out a sigh. "I'm tired of trying over and over again. Why can't we just wait and see what happens?"

"Em, if you're already pregnant, it won't hurt the baby, and if you aren't, then we're increasing our chances. It's a win win situation!"

"Yeah, for you." she joked with a smile, then she turned her attention back the stack of files that were still piled on her desk. He wrapped his arm around her, hugging her tight as he kissed the back of her neck. "Stop it, no means NO! I'm cranky tired and extremely hormonal, so back off before I do something that I regret." She hissed as he let go of her cautiously and slowly stepped away.

"Okay sorry. I'm going, though, so you'll need to catch a ride with JJ. See you later and I love you." he said as he quickly kissed her cheek and ran out the door before she ripped his head off in anger.

Once he was gone, a smile tickled the corner of her mouth "I love you too."

JJ and Emily had left and were almost at Emily's when she decided she was going to try and talk. "Hey Em?" she asked, for she wanted to break the silence and tension between them.

"Yeah?" she answered, staring out the window, watching the passing houses and buildings as the car came to a stop.

"How's the whole baby thing going?" JJ questioned, even though she knew it would be a touchy subject.

Emily opened the door and stood, leaning against the door frame. "Oh I don't know any more, JJ; I mean Derek's super keen, but sometimes I think he's only wants this because of all the sex. Now I'm injecting hormones, I keep telling myself it's worth it, but I don't know." she said, shaking her head. She was tired of all the needles and she was getting fed up with the sex. She never thought she would ever be tired of sex.

"Oh come on. You've wanted kids since forever. Don't give up now." She knew that Emily would do anything for a baby of her own. And after losing the first one, she never looked at kids the same way again. She would almost cry every time she began to think about the little girl or boy that she didn't ever get to hold or really love.

"I don't know if it worth the work anymore. I've miscarried four times. We're better off adopting or paying someone to do it for us." she said. Emily always doubted herself after she lost their second child and she didn't understand why everyone wanted her to keep trying. It was just more painful each time she finally got pregnant and the baby didn't make it. It ripped and tore her heart into thousands of pieces. "I'm gonna go before I break down in front of you." she whispered as a tear dripped down her cold face. She respected herself far too much to show her emotion to anyone, even Derek.

She slowly stumbled down the sidewalk as salty tears poured from her eyes, blurring her vision. Her hands were cold and dry as she rubbed them together then blew softly onto them. The sound of a heavy metal garbage can startled her. Emily turned her attention quickly to the dark alley as she passed by. She stopped for a second and watched as a tiny black and white cat climbed his way free from behind a mountain of trash. Her eyes caught a figure lurking in her shadows. Someone moved in the back of the filthy alley and for a moment she felt as if she were being watched. A cold arm wrapped around her chest, followed by a sweaty palm that covered her mouth, impairing her speech.

"Let go of me!" she tried to yell, but no words escaped, only the muffled sound of her cries.

He pushed her to the end of the dark alley, a dirty pitch back corner where they could have some privacy and threw her limp body to the ground. She tried to kick her way free from his grasp, but she stopped when she noticed the glow. Only his white empty eyes were visible in the dimness of nightfall.

The temperature of his skin was cold as ice. Her heart was racing as a tear dripped down her pale dry cheek, staining the dark pavement. The weight of his body was suffocating, pinning her against the rough, brick alley wall. She began to shake as he threw himself onto her, crushing her chest. He slowly reached down and slipped off her panties. She screamed out for help once again, but no one came. She tried to close her eyes, to zone him out and go to a better place, but the silence only reminded her of what was happening.

As he crushed her for the last time, she reached for her gun and stuffed it between her chest and his and before she knew it, she had pulled the trigger and his dead, blood- spilling body lay on top of her. She didn't know what to do, who to call or who to turn to. She was horrified that that disgusting filthy monster was minutes ago, inside her, treating her very survival. Her heart throbbed in sadness and she wept from the depths of her sole. For once in her life, she didn't know what to do now. She was scared, a feeling she never experienced.

After she calmed herself enough to think straight, she found a pay phone and dialed 911. The police showed up within seconds and she became overwhelmed by their presence. Emily had not told them what happened and before they arrived, she re-clothed him and pulled his body out of the alley so they would not find out that she had been raped.

One of the police officers tried to comfort Emily and eventually, they were able to wrap her in a blanket and sit her on the tailgate of the ambulance. She was staring off into the distance as the paramedic cleaned the scrapes and cuts that covered her battered body. As she sat there, the police officer asked for her statement.

"So Emily you were walking home and…"

"And he blitzed me. He kicked me around and in self-defense, I shot him." Her voice shook as she answered. She lied; she couldn't tell anyone that she was raped. She was devastated that she couldn't have her husband find out what happened.

"Can I call anyone for you Emily?" the cop asked as she put her notebook back in her pocket.

"My husband, he should be home"

He rushed over to her and brushed her bangs off her face. He could still see the salty tear stains on her cheeks and the redness in her eyes. "Emily, talk to me." Morgan said and put his hand on her arm, a calming gesture she had grown to like.

"Can you... can you just hold me?" she asked as another flood of tears began to fall again. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry. She would never talk to him about it, but for once, she wasn't afraid to cry in his presence. She didn't know if she would ever be able to share what happened tonight, but what she did know is that she never wanted him to let go.