As he bleeds out on the floor near his father's weapons case with the smoking gun in his hand and the bullet in his stomach, slowly bleeding out, he can only have regrets now. By the time they find him, anyone really, he will be gone, maybe to a better place? Who knows? He will find out shortly. Hopefully…
They will probably blame him. They will say it's his fault, that he drove me to point of killing myself. After all, there is at least 5 people who knew I loved him and at least 2 who knew I was going to finally tell him. It is partially his fault, this is true, but how could I in the first place think Derek would love someone like me? Weird, ugly, and annoying Stiles, this is who I am. Or who I was? Yeah I guess it would be past tense, since I am dying and all. Heh. Yeah, something dead would make it past tense. Like this even matters. I mean I am bleeding out all over the wood floor after all. Can you get blood out of wood? My Dad, my poor Dad. It pains me to leave him, just like my mom did. I just can't keep on living knowing there will never be a him and I. How could I be so foolish as to believe Derek would ever love me. Must have been a weird brain fart for me to believe he could ever have feelings for me. The sad thing I guess is that he will never know how much I truly loved him. I guess I could be mad that he did not give me a chance to tell him why I loved him. Sucks to be him I guess, or maybe not since he did not care in the first place.
The worse part about all of this is how he simply turned his back to me after I proclaimed my love to him and he just simply said "No. You can't love me, because I am not worth it. You're wasting your time. Go love someone else. After all, I can't love you back. You are just wasting your time." Is it sad that is actually the most he has ever said to me at that same time? Most of the time our conversations are made up of my usual word vomit about something with his replies made up of his grumbling or using one or two worded phrases. Sometimes he growls and tells me to "Shut up, Stiles."
I probably should have shot myself in the heart or in the head. I should have made this dying thing go faster. Oh well. It still hurts, but the pain is more of a dull throbbing in my side than a sharp shooting pain. There is still plenty of blood coming out. I am getting a little light headed. I guess this is what it must feel like dying from receiving a bullet in your abdomen. I should have written a note about my suicide. I hope they don't think this was a homicide. I don't want anyone getting in trouble for what I did to myself. Man I do ramble a lot. I guess I can never really shut up. Freaking ADHD.
*Sometime later comes knocking on the front door*
"Hello?" Scott calls out. "Stiles? Are you ok? I smell blood." Scott continues on to say. "I am letting myself in ok." Scott proclaims. As he opens the door the stench of blood becomes even stronger. Scott smells that blood, but also there is also the mixture of Stiles scent. Scott starts to become worried. He tracks the scent to where Scott knows where Mr. Stilinski keeps his weapons case. As he turns around the corner Scott is startled by the sight of his best friend lying on the floor bleeding from a wound in his side. He rushes to Stiles to see if he still alive. HE can hear the sound of a faint heart beating. He immediately calls 911 for help. Then he calls Stiles's Dad. He continues to call Allison, Jackson, Lydia, Danny, and Derek. The packs needs to know what happened. Scott can only hope Stiles can make it in time for help to come and save his best friend.