Disclaimer: Neither NCIS nor Evanescence are mine...so dont sure, you'll get nothing.
A/N: This is songfic from Evanescence's song "Haunted". I love this group and when I listened to this song after seeing Bloodbath, this screamed Abby. And keep in mind, this is kinda personal to me. I once had a stalker as well, so there's as much me in there as there is Abby, so be nice hehe. Hope you enjoy!
Spoilers: Bloodbath
Abby sat in the driver's seat of her car, still parked at NCIS headquarters, staring blankly into space. Her mind was still reeling from the day's event. She was kidnapped and attacked by that hitman, the case she testiied for was dismissed, and Michael was thrown back into her life. Who was she kidding? Michael never left...he was just temporarily displaced. He always found his way back to her. And as if that all wasn't enough, Gibbs had pulled her aside not 30 minutes earlier and told her something that chilled her deep to the bone.
"Abs?" Gibbs called, walking into her lab.
"Gibbs," she replied wearily, walked toward him and the door. "I'm going home. Whatever test you want me to do will have to wait until morning. Unless it's something real important, like life or death or..." she trailed off.
"It's not that," Gibbs said, smiling lightly at her mini-tangent. "There's something I need to tell you. Something you need to know."
Abby suddenly grew very nervous. "What is it, Gibbs?" she barely whispered.
Gibbs sat her down in her office chair. He knelt down beside her, and held her hands comfortingly.
"We got him," he said quietly. "Michael was arrested, and he's going to jail."
"It won't work," Abby replied shakily. "He was just trespassing on the Navy yard, they cant hold him for too long. He'll just get out, then he'll find me, and he'll never leave me alone. I'm starting to like the 'beating to a pulp with a baseball bat' idea."
"No, Abby," Gibbs said, cautiously. He didn't want to break this news to her, but it had to be done. "We found something on him that will put him away for a long time."
She noticed his grave tone. "What?"
"We found a gun in his car Abs...and a suicide note," he said, tightening his hold on her hands. "It was in your
handwriting."
Abby gasped as the pit of her stomach dropped and her blood ran cold. "He--" she choked. "He was going to kill me?"
She shook her head, driving away the haunting memories. She put the key in the ignition and turned the engine over. As she reached the interstate, she set her cruise control and reached for a CD that was lying on the passenger seat. It was her current favorite CD...Evanenscence's "Fallen". It was the perfect sound for her current life. Driving metal tunes screaming about the pain and fear and hatred for life she currently was experiencing ever since that day in her lab.
She continued to drive as she rocked out to the first few songs on her CD, screaming and singing along to relieve her
hightened stress. She was actually beginning to feel better; she was starting to move away from her frightening reality, but her mind was soon pulled right back to it when she heard the fifth song begin to play.
As the slow, eerie, intro played, Abby felt her skin crawl. She never had the courage to listen to this song in recent
times...ever since she and Michael first broke up. She would either just advance the CD to the next song or try to ignore it the best she could if she were in public. This time however, she decided to try and endure it. She gripped the steering wheel as the song's lyrics began to play.
Long lost words whisper slowly to me.
Still can't find what keeps me here.
When all this time Ive been so hollow inside.
I know youre still there.
Watching me. Wanting me.
I can feel you pull me down.
Fearing you. Loathing you.
I wont let you pull me down.
Abby trembled as flashbacks of Michael invaded her mind. Finding the tires of her car slashed...her stolen mail...the barrage of never-ending phone calls...his attack on her in McGee's apartment. Restraining orders are a joke. They didn't do anything.It didn't keep him from following her around, taking pictures, then pastering them all over his walls and his website. The phone calls were the worst. At times, he would just call and hang up as soon as she answered. Others, he would not say anything at all, and then sometimes he would profess his undying love to her in multiple and increasingly creepy ways.
Abby had more panic attacks in the past few months than she did her entire life. She wasn't safe...anywhere. He even bugged her telephone and wormed his way into her computer! Not even her technological sanctuary was safe. That was a fear never before felt by Abby, and she was damn terrfied. Knowing that there is someone out there in the world who knows everything about you, is completely obsessed, will doanything to posses you, and will not stop or give up until he does is the single most debiliating, petrifying fear anyone could ever experience.
Hunting you, I can smell you all night.
Your heart pounding in my head.
Watching me. Wanting me.
I can feel me pull me down. Saving me. Raping me.
Watching me.
How could she let this happen? How could she have let someone like him into her life? She picked up the defective psychopath in a cemetary...there should have been thefirst red flag. She probably met him when he was standing at the grave of the last girlfriend he obsessed over and killed. Plus, he cleaned up crime scenes for a living. Granted, that was a slight turn on, but that should have been thesecond red flag. He had to have seen and been able to copy some of the murders and killing's he'd cleaned up after. And, of course, the whole straightjacket thing. Michael had specifically asked for one for his birthday. Tony was right...that should have been a red flag too.
Abby groaned and beat her fist onto the steering wheel in frustration. Everything she found attractive in Michael were the very things she began to fear. How the hell could she not have noticed? A criminal pathologist is supposed to see what other people can't...but she sure missed that.
He saved her life though...she had to give him a little bit of credit for that. The tiniest, minutely microscopic bit of credit. Sure, if he hadn't of broken the confines of the restraining order, followed her around, and taken all those pictures
of her, they may not have found out about the creepy hitman guy. But, when push comes to shove...she'll always owe the gratitude for saving her life to her NCIS family. Yes, even Ziva...she did give Abby the taser after all.
Oh, God. What would he do when he got out? He'd find her. He wouldn't stop until he did, and now he would have revenge on his mind. Abby began to shiver once more as fear began to overpower her.
Watching me. Wanting me.
I can feel you pull me down.
Fearing you. Loathing you.
Abby's head suddenly jerked up and she became very alert. She was falling back into the hole of self-pity. She recalled her night spent in Gibb's home, her insides squirmed slightly at the thought. She really didn't mean to hurt his boat. She was depressed...and drunk. Depressed, pissed, and drunk. She recalled how her heart ripped in two when she heard Gibbs suggest that this whole damn situation was her fault. True, she did kind of set it up for him, but he didn't have to agree.
"This is not my fault...Gibbs," Abby said with a slur. She began to pace back and forth in front of his, waving his bottle of liqour with each step for emphasis. "This...is not...my fault!"
Suddenly, realization found it way through the foggy drunken mess in her head.
"It's not my fault."
It wasn't a problem with her...it was all on Michael. He was the one who took their relationship too seriously. He was the one who wouldn't take no for an answer. He was the one who caused all this. Not her! She still couldn't shake the fear of his return...his continued stalking. Almost instantly, Gibbs's voice popped into her head.
"No one is going to hurt you Abby."
She'd heard it before...twice, in fact. Once in the elevator just days ago, and the other almost one year ago when Ari was targeting Abby. Gibbs said it to make her feel better, and it did...each time. She believed Gibbs...she knew that his word was his bond. So why did she doubt him this time?
Gibbs said that Michael was in jail. That he wasn't going to hurt her anymore. The thought sunk in and Abby smiled. Michael wasn't going to hurt her anymore. Michael was gone...and Abby was safe. Abby was free.
Completely liberated, Abby screamed along as the song ended. "I WONT LET YOU PULL ME DOWN!"