A/N: New story because the idea popped into my mind. Rated for angst, the mention of drinking and drug use, sexual innuendo and other such stuff. Enjoy!

SPINELLI'S POV:

I sat on the windowsill of my bedroom, staring at the dark moonless sky, my mind a million miles from where it should be……..on my math homework. Instead, my mind is drifting to him, how much he changed in the past few months, how different things were between us, between all of us in our little Recess gang. We were all still friends, of course, but not the kind of friends we had been in fourth grade. No, time had changed us, and now we were all tossed into the cold, unfriendly world of tenth grade.

We all were different—--Vince had his jock thing, Gretchen her science thing, Gus was in the NJROTC program and Mikey was in drama, hoping for a chance to win a guest spot on Desperate Housewives so he could make out with Eva Longoria. As for me, I was still tough on the outside, still got into fights occasionally, but inside, I was resenting my mother for trying to be the perfect person she tried to shape me into. She wanted me to be like her in every way, shape and form, but I just could not do that. I had to be my own person. My father was no help, he was hardly around because of his secret service job. Yes, Papa Spinelli was really a Secret Service member and now with the world situation being how it was, he was working harder than ever, leaving me with just my mom and my five year old sister Miranda. My two older brothers Joey and Vitto were out on their own with their wives, jobs and children. I dealt with these resentful feelings towards my mother by writing, short stories, poetry, even a TV series pilot, all hoping that one day things would go back to normal. . I also escaped by smoking cigarettes when things got really tough, something that did not thrill my parents, but I did it anyway since it seemed to be the only thing to calm me down and rebel even more against my mother's insistence that I become just like her. My writing was my escape from the real world, but nobody knew this side of me. They only saw what I was like on the outside, the depressed girl who dressed in black and was obsessed with Ronald Reagan. Yes, Reagan, he is my hero and always will be. But I digress.

But things would not be normal, not until he decided to change back to the way he was. Him being my closest friend, TJ Detweiler. We had been best friends for almost twelve years, but now, we were drifting apart, losing the connection we had once shared. Losing that was something that scared me more than the time I ended up accidently walking in on Miss Finster making out with Hank the Janitor in fifth grade. I shuddered at the memory. I swear I will forever be scarred by that. But I digress again.

TJ had become friends with Gordie and Butch over the summer, when they were all assigned to community service for some mischief or another. They began hanging out more often, before and after their community service sessions and soon TJ entered the world of partying, thanks to an invite to a rave that Butch got from King Freddie.

It began innocently, just chilling and dancing, then it led to more serious things, things that scared someone like me, who may appear tough, but in reality was a girl scared of high school life and things like this, He began drinking and then occasionally smoking pot, something he swore he would never do, not after the death of Nikki Little, our old babysitter in third grade. Nikki had been driving home from work one night and was hit head on by a drunk and high driver, killing her instantly. After her death, he swore he would never do such things, but yet he was, coming home drunk and high, picking fights with me, and worst of all, he was becoming a stranger, no longer the little chubby boy who I used to make mud pies with me, but someone who was dead set on hurting himself for whatever reason, and the thing that frightened me was that I didn't know what that reason was. He seemed to have a good life, a loving family, good friends, and even in the honor society. So what exactly was causing him to act out like this? I only hoped I could find out, so we could get past this and re-enter our once innocent lives that consisted of prank phone calls, treehouse meetings and basically being the Townsedge, Arkansas answer to Dawson and Joey. But in my heart, I knew that with all the changes, nothing would ever be the same again.

"Oh, Teej," I whisper to myself as I open a window and light my cigarette. "I just want us to be normal again, I can't lose my best friend, I just can't"

As I sat in my room, puffing on my cigarette, not caring that my mom would probably kill me for infesting her perfect home with the smell of smoke, I stared out into the treehouse in TJ's backyard, wondering where he was and praying that he wouldn't ruin his life on his path of destruction.

come a little closer if you can

just forget your fears

come to me

cause where I want to be

is closer to you

put your little hand into my hand

throw off this disguise

come to me

cause I just want to be

closer to you

I'm oh so tired of this awful fight

cant get by without you

I don't know how I'm gonna be alright

But I'm all messed up

Ya I'm all messed up

ya I am

dont you wish we were younger

these things go to fast

come to me

because I used to be

closer to you

Oo come to me cause

I need to be

closer to you

A/N: Intense, isn't it? Well be prepared for more into the lives of TJ and Spinelli as they face more trials and tribulations. The song is one I think fits pretty well, its called "Closer to You" and sung by the Counting Crows. Enjoy this and send me plenty of soul hugs to motivate me to finish this! Happy holidays!