"I watched a change,
In you.
It's like you never,
Had wings.
Now you feel,
So alive."
- Change (in the house of flies) by Deftones.
…
It was a Tuesday when Finn told her he didn't love her anymore.
She was so much better than him, she deserved so much better than him. He'd been selfish and stupid to think a marriage was going to change anything.
That a stupid paper would make their problems disappear. That a silly little paper with their autographs was going to make sure they'd stay together forever.
At least, if he broke it off now, she wouldn't be hurt as much as when they'd actually have to file divorce papers.
She cried and told him she hated him. She said something about him realizing he loved her and it being too late then. She cried and asked him how he could do this to her.
You'll be a star, Rachel, isn't that what you want? All I will do is hold you back.
He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from talking.
Before she left she told him she hated him again. That he had ruined their future.
Didn't she know he was saving hers?
…
It was a Saturday, a week after Rachel had left for New York. A week since she had left for NYADA. A week since she had left for her future.
A future without him.
It had been a damn week and he thought it would at least hurt a little less or maybe her face wouldn't be haunting him as much anymore,- but her face was still there and his heart stung like a total bitch.
It had been the right thing to do. She was going to be a star now, right? It's what she always wanted.
…
His mom had baked him cookies on one Sunday, claiming they were 'Good luck' cookies for his permanent, full time job at Burt's shop after summer.
He knew they were really just 'I feel sorry for you but please get a life and leave your room once in a while' cookies.
He tried one anyway, just to make his mom happy. They tasted like crap.
Everything that wasn't made by Rachel tasted like complete and utter crap.
Damn, crappy cookies only reminded him of her, and he didn't need any more reminders.
…
Puck had visited him a few days before summer ended and Finn thought it had been a Monday or a Wednesday, he wasn't sure. There were other, more important, things on his mind unlike what day it was. What did it matter anyway, they were all the same.
He told him he was going to Connecticut with Quinn. He had found a job at a supermarket or something and him and Quinn were going to make a fresh start or some shit like that.
Finn had laughed at Puck, because seriously, the irony in Puck and Quinn ending up together and getting their happily ever after and him and Rachel being anything but together, was pretty funny to him in a, very fucked up way.
After that Finn had told Puck to go away.
…
Kurt had called him on a Friday evening, Finn had just come home from work because two weeks after summer Burt had basically told him to get his ass out of bed to come to work at the shop or he should start finding his own place. Since he didn't have any money because he hadn't started work after summer, the choice had been pretty damn obvious.
He had heard Rachel laughing on the background and Finn had hung up. He'd been startled, because a small part of him expected her too feel at least one hundredth of what he felt like.
Why was she laughing? Why was she laughing while he was still depressed and hopeless and damnit... He missed her. Why did he feel this way? Why didn't she feel this way?
Maybe she'd been laughing with a guy. It was a Friday night after all and she sounded happy.
Why shouldn't she be happy?
Fuck, that's what he had wanted for her, right? For Rachel to be happy. That's why he broke it off in the first place.
He fell asleep on his bed in his dirty overall, an image on his mind of Rachel kissing some guy and laughing with him and touching him and God knows what,- playing over and over and over and over...
…
It was a cold Sunday afternoon when he figured that maybe the reason he hadn't been able to get over her (that was a new rule, he couldn't name her anymore), was because she was everywhere.
He hadn't taken down their pictures and one of her dresses, she had left at their house after a sleepover with Kurt and he was supposed to give back at her, was draped over his chair. And his damn stuffed giraffe, she'd gotten him for Valentine's day because it had reminded her of him, smelled exactly like her.
He threw everything away and spent the rest of the day on his room listening to Taylor Swift because the only other sad break-up songs he knew were from Barbra Streisand and Celine Dione and they were too close for comfort.
…
Kurt came home for Christmas and told him he needed to move on, because she had.
Maybe that hurt the most of everything.
The fact he couldn't.
He couldn't fucking move on because she'd be the one for him.
He just hadn't been the one for her.
…
Out of sight, out of mind, his ass. Fuck everyone who ever used that phrase. Fuck everyone, just because.
…
It was almost March and it had been just another Tuesday.
Finn was getting along fine. He worked at the shop from 8 till 6 (or longer) everyday, sometimes even on Sunday because he didn't really have anything else to do.
He'd given up on music like he had given up on her and being happy and living.
He even found out alcohol mended the pain. Even if it was just for a little while.
...
It was the end of March, a Thursday, and it was a remarkably sunny day.
He thought he saw her.
Brown hair, attitude, vertically disabled but long legs..
His heart started beating faster and his palms got sweaty until he realized it wasn't her.
What would she have been doing in Lima anyway?
She didn't have any reason to be here since her fathers went off the Africa for a year or something, he hadn't really listened when Kurt told him, and he didn't really care.
It just sucked that he wasn't a reason anymore.
A reason for her to come back, or smile or get a loud thumping heart and sweaty palms.
He decided in that moment that it was better just to feel nothing at all.
...
It was a Monday night when he realized he had genuinely, just, like,- fucked up.
It was almost summer and he was in a bar late at night for the fourth night in a row.
Santana Lopez, who apparently hadn't made much of herself either, out of all people, had told him he needed to get his shit together.
She was a damn stripper in fucking Lima and she was telling him to get his shit together.
So yeah. He fucked up gradually.
...
He knew that he had really hit a low point when his iTunes playlist informed him on a Tuesday he had played Taylor Swift's songs more than seven-thousand times in total over the past year.
...
On a Thursday night, when his mom and Burt were out, he stood in front of his closet. Considering it. Considering to just climb onto his damn chair and hang himself.
But he didn't, because he was a damn coward.
He'd been a damn coward then, and he was a damn coward now.
…
Weren't people supposed to move on? It was another Friday night in his existence and a girl had asked him out. Maybe the whole, broody, moody thing had actually attracted them. Now he knew how Puck had managed to get all those middle aged woman to buy beer for him.
To be honest, he hadn't really thought about just getting over her. How did you get over someone?
Sure that dating new people was at least one step in the whole 'getting over her' thing, he accepted the number.
He never did call her.
…
It was a Monday night when his mom found him on his bed, passed out. Normally, he'd sneak in and even though she knew something was still up, (because mother's were good at that sort of shit, right?) she just pretended everything was okay. That he was getting better.
But finding him on his bed, unshaved and smelling like alcohol did it for his mom. Just because he had stopped caring and feeling and she apparently had, didn't mean his mom had.
She informed him the next morning (when he was about to go to work with a massive hangover) that it'd had been enough. He was 19, almost 20,- he was still young and it wasn't okay for him to feel this way. To feel depressive, and numb.
She told him she had closed her eyes too many times, but she couldn't anymore.
The love he had felt for R,- her, and the way how it had so abruptly ended,- didn't mean it had been the end of the world. He had to get better. He was going to rehab.
Finn hadn't really paid attention to any of his mom's words and just nodded.
Fine, it might be a nice change from his everyday life. He honestly, didn't care.
…
Finn had no idea what day it was.
He had a meeting with a counselor everyday at 8 a.m. and a group session in the afternoon, with the other alcoholics, at 2 p.m., because, so his counselor claimed, structure was the basis for getting better.
Wasn't going to work, dinner with his mom and Burt and then off to a bar until he could hardly remember who she was, a structure? And people called him stupid.
…
The eleventh day in rehab (he counted the days) his counselor, or therapist, or whatever, asked him why he'd reduced to alcohol, again.
She'd been asking him this every day he'd been in this lousy place, and now he couldn't just go to a bar and just avoid it and not think about it again until he well, thought about it. For the past eleven days, he'd been restraining himself to not tell her because, well, it hurt too damn much,- but today was the first day he was actually considering it.
…
"Her name was.." He still couldn't say her name.
It was his fifteenth day in rehab and he'd rushed out of the session. He had almost said her name and it made him crave a drink like never before.
…
On the twenty-third day he finally told his therapist (she had so kindly made clear she was) everything.
How he hadn't felt good enough for her, how he hated himself for losing her and how it made him feel so selfish. Because she was happy, right?
How he didn't think it was normal for him to still want her, even after almost two years.
He even told her about his damn, unhealthy Taylor Swift obsession. How he had played 'last kiss' in his room over and over and over.
He had told her how he still remembered how she smelled, and what her hair felt like and how he could never fully forget that smile and that somehow, no one's voice sounded as good as hers. And it fucking hurt.
She'd had told him, that even though Rachel hadn't physically died on him,- for him it had felt like she had. That he'd been grieving over her loss. That it was normal to feel this way, but it hadn't been normal for him to drink his feelings away.
When she asked him for her name though, he started crying like a baby. Like an actual baby, with sobs and tears and weird sounds and,- everything.
She told him it was okay to cry.
Maybe that wasn't entirely true, but it felt too good to stop.
...
On the twenty-seventh day, he finally stopped craving drinks. And not, like, normal drinks (because he really craved a fucking coke since the shit hole he lived in didn't have those, because apparently, the caffeine in it was addictive too for some people and replacing an addiction with another wasn't a solution) but alcoholic drinks.
…
The thirty-fourth day, one of his group members was leaving and was giving this emotional, cheesy,- but most of all crappy ass speech about how he wouldn't change anything about his life.
What kind of crap was that? There had to be something you wanted to change? Giving up something you loved or doing something you didn't want to or saying something you didn't mean,- hell, even scraping your knee when you were 9 must haven't been a great experience.
That guy was full of shit.
If he could go back in time, he wouldn't drink, he wouldn't hurt his mom so much by being so depressed, he wouldn't have given up music, he would've told her,- no fuck it, Rachel, the truth.
Then maybe, all this pain and heartache and shit wouldn't have been this bad.
Finn knew life wasn't all about rainbows and sunshine and fuck, and he wasn't expecting to come home and to suddenly feel okay (maybe he would even feel worse) but that was life.
And life went on and now, he had finally accepted that. That he shouldn't be stuck in the past, but look forward (or at least get through) the future.
Seriously, this guy had no idea what he was talking about. He gave him a week.
…
The thirty-fifth day, he was finally allowed visitors.
His mom came, and Burt and even Kurt came to visit him.
Instead of phone calls, he could have an actual face to face conversation with them.
It was kind of scary too be honest.
He had treated his mom like crap, took Burt's hospitality for granted and hurt his family so much. They didn't deserve it and he hadn't realized it because he was too damn drunk and ignorant to notice.
When his mom started crying as she clenched his hand, he started crying again and then Kurt cried and he even saw some tears glistening in Burt's eyes and it was too much.
"I love you guys," he managed to choke out just before they had leave.
He was ready to get out of here.
…
The best way to face your problems was head on, right? Like ripping off a band aid, fast and quick. Even though that was basically the same thing.
It was the fiftieth day, and his last, in rehab and he really hadn't meant to give some crappy ass speech about how he was thankful for this place and how it had finally opened his eyes and that he had a whole life ahead of himself and he couldn't keep dwelling on the past and needed to move on.
He wasn't going to miss the people (a bunch of alcoholic who even tried to drink sanitizer because it contained like 0.3% alcohol? No, thank you), or the place itself (everything was white, so white and empty and there was no music and it reminded him off dead for some reason) but the safety. He didn't want to fall back into his old habits. He didn't want to disappoint his mom again.
So he faced his parents head on but it still didn't hurt less. He knew Burt wasn't going to go easy on him because of his whole addiction and his mom was actually for the first time in years,- mad at him.
She told him he'd scared her and eventually she started crying again and it took everything in him not to cry, too.
…
After three weeks, on a Monday, he started work at 8 and he worked hard, so hard and longer than required.
He had to make up for all of it.
…
Four months later, on a Tuesday at lunch, Burt asked him to come into his office.
It was a dusty, old office and if Kurt hadn't once screamed out in terror and organized the whole thing when he came over, he wouldn't of been able to walk into it right now.
Finn's palms got sweaty. What if Burt fired him?
The temptation had already been so big, to just drive over to a bar and drink away. But he hadn't, yet. Because if Burt fired him, that'd be just another reason for him to do it.
And he had worked so hard. He knew now, that even though he'd gotten out of rehab 'cured' and shit, it didn't mean his recovery was over. It was a constant struggle and he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
Then, Burt told him he was planning on opening another business (considering he already had about three dozen in Ohio), the first one out of state, and he wanted Finn, him, to be its new manager.
It didn't pay much more than his already crappy lone, but he thanked Burt anyway and they hugged.
Because, shit, things were actually looking up for once.
…
After a few weeks of settling in, in some shitty ass town (he didn't even want to remember the name off), in Pennsylvania, he found out Taylor Swift had actual happy songs.
And even though he wasn't in love or couldn't imagine ever being in love, they made him happy.
It was the same Wednesday he went to a music store during lunch and bought himself a new drum kit.
Because even though Taylor Swift was kind of awesome, he really missed making music himself and songs that didn't make him feel like a complete pansy.
…
It was a year later and he still lived in Pennsylvania and Finn had actually build up some savings and made a few friends, when Burt asked him if he could check out the new store in New York.
He didn't know why but somehow, over time, thinking about New York and Rachel didn't hurt anymore. He knew she'd always be his first love and that she'd always have a special place in his heart, but that was okay. It was okay to feel like that about her even though they weren't together anymore.
So he did what Burt asked him to and for the first time in years, he remembered what a great city New York really was.
When Kurt found out he'd been in New York two days, saying he was upset was an understatement. He insisted Finn should visit him next time.
Maybe he would.
…
The shop in New York turned out to be a massive ass hit and the manager had some mental breakdown and Burt suggested Finn during their annual Christmas dinner that he should apply for the job. His mom encouraged him and Kurt promised him he'd love it in New York. It was an awesome city. He was actually considering it.
…
He found out he got the job on his twenty third birthday.
He moved into a small apartment near Kurt (and Rachel's place) and it was small, but really cheap and he didn't have much stuff anyway, so it really didn't matter.
It felt like a fresh start.
Pennsylvania had felt like a fresh start but he'd always felt like he hadn't truly faced all of his problems. Now he had.
…
It was the third time in a row Kurt had invited him for dinner of Friday but he kept making up excuses.
Somehow he felt that if he saw her again, he might break down.
…
After three more times, he accepted Kurt's offer. It couldn't be that bad, right?
…
Rachel wasn't even there, he saw her for like a second, when she rushed out of the door, shouting a quick goodbye to Kurt, probably not even realizing he was there.
It hadn't been too bad. She still looked awesome and beautiful, but he didn't feel anything. Or at least not regret, not anymore. She was happy. And that was what he had wanted.
He had some weird sushi shit (he was more of traditional kind of guy, you know, steak and chicken and stove and crap) with Kurt while they joked and laughed and he even got talked into a blind date (God knows how).
Then the conversation fell on Rachel and Kurt confessed she was in a pretty serious relationship with a guy. She had been, since a year or so. He was a mix between Jesse and Sebastian in terms of appearance, Kurt had told him scrunching his nose. He was a good guy, maybe not so good looking but he had a killer voice and made Rachel smile. Finn told Kurt he was happy for her, and he was.
He just wished she could've been that happy with him. And that made him realize that maybe this wasn't about love anymore, but about pride. It had to be, right? After so many years.
He couldn't still be in love with her. He heard countless of corny love stories and shit like 'distance makes the heart grow larger' or something, but that wasn't possible.
Maybe he just longed for someone to make him happy, too. He deserved to be happy, too right?
When he asked Kurt, he started ranting about Finn deserving everything in his life and how he couldn't wish for a better brother and how this blind date was going to be amazing.
It'd better be, he thought.
…
About two weeks later, again on a Friday, the blind date was finally happening.
Her name was Taylor (ironically) and she was nice and pretty, really pretty. He even kissed her goodbye.
It felt good. It felt good to be in a relationship again. To have someone like him, not because they had to, like his family did, but because they wanted to.
…
Him and Taylor didn't last long but when he went out with Kurt to shop for clothes, because according to him all of his jeans were 8 seasons ago and he, as a fashion designer, couldn't be affiliated with that, he met another girl, her name was Alex, and she was different. A good different.
She was kind of boyish, with short hair and all stars and t-shirts and sweaters two sizes too big (and absolutely hideous, so Kurt claimed) but she was sweet and kind on the inside. And she was great.
They exchanged numbers and without even trying (just one or two dates) they were boyfriend and girlfriend.
They dated for quite a while, almost seven months, and he even loved her, something he thought he would never be able to say again, but they didn't work out.
She was too dominant, and he wasn't at all.
But he didn't regret it, sure it hurt like a bitch for like three weeks, but gradually, it got better. It made him think that maybe, he'd kind of overreacted about his break-up with Rachel.
…
Rachel was starring in her first actual musical, her Broadway debut and considering Kurt had gotten two tickets and his boyfriend Jonathan was off in Chicago or some shit and normally he'd take Rachel but she was kind of in the musical, he offered Finn a ticket, as a Broadway virgin at all.
Finn told him he'd go with him, because well, it made his brother happy and the thing between him and Rachel was long behind them.
And shit, she sounded even more amazing than he could recall.
This performance, was unlike the ones he remembered. She looked different, like all of her solos in high school hadn't mattered because this was so much more satisfying. Like she had found her wings and was now flying or something.
After the show, Kurt insisted they'd wait for Rachel to finish changing and congratulate her. He bought her flowers, he should buy her flowers right? Her dream just came true and as a congratulation, flowers were... the normal thing to give right? It wasn't like he was implying something romantic.
She walked outside of her changing room, glowing, like she'd been too heaven.
It reminded him of the first time he'd ever seen her. Walking through the hallways, determined and a little crazy. With her beautiful smile and her big dreams.
It reminded her of the first time he ever heard her voice. He knew then she was destined to do great things.
And now her she was with her cropped hair and flushed cheeks and flowers in hand.
His flowers looked like shit compared to those fancy big ones but he handed them anyway and she looked flustered and leaned up to hug him, but not before calling out his name surprised.
"What are you doing here?" She asked excitedly as she leaned in to hug him again.
"Kurt invited me. You were totally awesome up there, Rach.. el," he told her, grinning as she leaned in to hug Kurt. He handed her the flowers a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to say. What, they'd always talked about going to see Broadway shows and shit as a couple. This was kind of new to him.
"Thank you so much," she gushed, smelling the flowers before thanking them again. It been so long since he'd seen her, and he did miss her. Not as a girlfriend, but as his best friend.
"You did amazing, babe," a voice from behind her said and Kurt was right. He did look like a mixture of Sebastian and Jesse. Weird.
Rachel introduced him as Daniel, her boyfriend and maybe he did feel a little bit jealous, but not of the fact she was dating someone, just because she was in love, and he wasn't.
Rachel thanked them again before being lead away by Daniel, leaving Finn alone with Kurt.
"You okay?"
"I'm great," Finn turned to look at his brother after a moment of silence. "She's happy, right?"
"I think so," Kurt told him, giving his brother a worried glance.
"Then yeah, I'm great."
…
A few months after he 'met up' with Rachel, he helped her move out with Kurt. He'd seen her a few times when he came over to hang with Kurt and sometimes his boyfriend, too, and they small talked a lot, but nothing serious.
She was moving in with her boyfriend and Finn happened to come over and saw Kurt and Rachel struggle with the heavy boxes (she was short and well, he was kind a whimp) and her bed still needed to be carried downstairs, and he offered to help.
Nothing happened, and he didn't expect it to.
It was like it was supposed to be.
…
His mom and Burt came over to New York for Christmas, instead of their usual dinner at Lima deal and they ate some weird ass Greek shit. Rachel came in to discuss some kind of outfit for the Tony's or something and said a quick 'hi' and 'merry christmas' to him and his parents before leaving to her own apartment. He and Burt made a quick visit to McDonalds later that night.
…
Rachel came over to Finn's apartment once on a Wednesday night after one of her shows, Kurt had asked her to drop of some kind of magazine because he wanted the re-do the shops or some shit. He invited her in and before he knew it they we're on his couch watching Gossip Girl or something and he thought about their first kiss.
She looked over at him, biting her lip and he knew she was thinking about the same thing.
His eyes shifted to her lips and he licked his dry lips as he saw her doing the same. He slowly leaned in and they kissed. He couldn't deny that he felt anything, but it felt wrong.
After that, she rushed out of the apartment apologizing.
He felt like a jackass.
…
Kurt was throwing a New Year's party and he met a girl. Her name was Emma and she looked a little like Quinn, only then with brown hair. Her personality was far from Quinn though, and he thanked God for that. When he talked to her he didn't feel like a complete dumb ass. She was nice and sweet and they ended up spending way too much time together at the party.
As he lead her away to his apartment, he spotted Rachel dancing with Daniel and it didn't even make him want to pour down everything at the liquor table.
…
He and Emma lasted quite a while, actually, about five months before he found out she was two-timing him. She turned out to be kind of weird, the sort of woman Puck would like to categorize as 'batshit crazy'. The one who'd claim she was pregnant just so the guy wouldn't break-up with her.
The break-up was messy and painful because it opened up wounds that had healed a long time ago (the whole Quinn/Rachel/Puck deal) and it was kind of creepy she looked like Quinn.
It was actually the first time he didn't bottle it all up and did cry.
…
It was a warm summer Saturday when him and Rachel spend a night together. Not in a sexual way or anything. She was engaged now and she actually meant to spend the day with Kurt because her fiancée was out of town for work, but he turned out to be in Miami with his boyfriend as a surprise and well, Finn was dogsitting Prada in Kurt's apartment (since he didn't want to have some smelly, spoiled dog in his apartment). He opened the door and she wanted to leave but he offered to watch a movie with her. She'd been doubtful but he told her 'no funny business' as kind of a joke and she laughed and then they watched Funny Girl. She fell asleep and he carried her onto the bed before going to sleep on the couch himself. It felt just like old times.
And he kept thinking that maybe he had his best friend back.
…
He'd been wrong because the next time he saw her was at Kurt's second New Year's party, or at least the second one he'd ever attended, and she was wearing a short, black dress (he kind of missed her stockings and animal sweaters) and she was kind of tipsy and her make-up was heavy. It made him suspect that maybe, she'd broken up with her boyfriend.
Kurt's suspicious look when she bumped into him a few minutes after twelve, confirmed his thoughts.
A smile as beautiful as ever and her eyes sparkling, she leaned closer. "Hey Finn, long time no see!" Her breath smelled like alcohol as she leaned her head against his arm
He hadn't talked to her in six months and now all he got was clingy, drunk Rachel.
"Hey," he told her, and he couldn't help but smile.
"I broke up with my fiancée," she hiccuped as she flirtily (lazily) dragged a finger across his chest.
He took her hand, "I'm dating." He wasn't lying. He met a Hanna in a coffee shop and she was all kinds of awesome. She played the drums like him but was so much more beautiful than him.
"I won't tell if you won't," she giggled before almost stumbling over if he hadn't grabbed her.
She put a hand on her head, closing her eyes as she frowned, mumbling, "I'm so tired."
He lead her to Kurt's bedroom, figuring he could suck it, he should've paid more attention to his best friend, and put her down on the bed.
She yawned, closing her eyes as she mumbled another 'thank you, Finny' before snuggling into the covers.
He stared at her for a while, she looked exactly like she always did, only know a little bit more mature and flushed.
He sighed, shaking his head, before getting back to the party.
…
Finn threw Kurt a surprise party on a Thursday with his boyfriend for his birthday. It was halfway May, before it was Kurt's birthday to keep it a surprise.
He broke up with Hanna two months prior and they decided to remain friends, even though their contact had kind of been on a low pit.
She was there. Rachel was there.
She didn't look like she did at the New Year's party, she looked more like her. She was wearing a white (or beige? He was spending too much time with Kurt) dress with a black cat print and a sweater. Her hair was in a bun (that reminded him a lot of the one she had in New York) and her make-up was natural. Like he liked her the most.
He heard her laugh from the other side of the room, near the food table, and decided to talk to her. She smiled at him as she put a stray of hair behind her ear and bit her lip. He grinned back, his famous half grin, and he couldn't deny he felt something when she reached out to touch his arm.
"Do you want something to drink?" She asked him as she poured herself another wine.
He shook his head, "I don't drink."
She looked up and smiled at him. Surely, Kurt must've told her why he spent so many hours on the day talking to a worn out Carole. She must know.
He didn't care she knew.
"So, how have you been?"
"Great, I'm running Burt's shops in New York. All three of them."
"That's amazing, Finn," she beamed, her eyes sparkling.
"And you're a big star, aren't you?" He told her tauntingly,
"Haven't I always been?" She teased back and he chuckled.
He finally got what that guy had been talking about in rehab, years ago. About not changing anything. Because if Finn had changed anything, things might not have turned out this way. She might not be standing in front of him here, beaming and laughing and mature and gorgeous and kind of famous. Maybe, they would've broken up by now if he hadn't back then. Maybe, they'd be happily married now but she wouldn't have her dreams come true.
All of those maybe's really didn't matter to him right now. The ones that did matter were the, maybe, then it hadn't been their time, but maybe, it was theirs now.
He hoped so, but only time could tell.
He was here, she was here, they were here.. Why not?
…
"And life makes love look hard.
The stakes are high, the water's rough,
But this love is ours."
- Ours by Taylor Swift.