XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDd I have nothing to say about this.
1987
Shawn groaned, flopping onto the front porch steps in a manner that suggested he'd been fatally exposed to the brutal heat wave Santa Barbara was currently experiencing, dehydrated and on the verge of being overwhelmed by heatstroke. "I'm dying, Dad," he moaned.
Henry was unimpressed.
"Shawn, it's ninety degrees out. You've been outside for all of five minutes. I seriously doubt you're dying."
"It is pretty hot, Mr. Spencer," Gus said from his position slouched next to Shawn, wiping a bead of perspiration from his forehead.
"And what would you like me to do about it? Blot out the sun maybe? Call forth the winter winds?" Henry asked.
Shawn perked up, his eyes brightening. "I know! You could take us to WaterWorld, Dad!"
"Yeah!" Gus chimed in, sitting up eagerly.
Henry snorted. "Don't be absurd, Shawn. That place is a dump. You'd probably cut yourself on a screw or something, and then I'd have to take you to the Emergency Room to get you a tetanus shot so you wouldn't get lock-jaw and... No. It's not happening. Not today, not next week, never."
"Aw, Dad! Come on! We're dying here! It's a million degrees out! Cut us some slack man!"
"First off," Henry said, pointing a finger sharply at his son, "don't call me 'man'. And secondly, no. Way. Go play in the ocean if you want to get wet."
Shawn groaned, slouching back against the steps again to sulk. "Dad! You know we can't go swimming in the ocean here! There's rocks!"
Henry sighed, rolling his eyes and said, "Fine. I'll tell you what. I'll create a mini-waterpark for you guys right here in the yard. How's that sound?"
"Oh, right, Dad. You're gonna build us a water slide? Or a wave pool?"
"No," Henry retorted, "I'm going to get the water sprinkler."
snerk Henry's downright hilarious, idn't he?