Love Hate

by Partridge On A Pear Tree

Hinata is a lovely and super positive charity worker whose life seems under complete control. Until the day a mysterious boy enters his way and completely changes his life. / This is his everyday life, and he was perfectly contented, of course. / Based on the short film with the same title.

"Fuck off!"

"Alright, sorry, thanks for your time." Hinata just nods at the man who cussed at him before diverting his attention to something else. There were many people in the bridge today. To be fair, it was quite a busy bridge, and his current observation is nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing is, actually. Hinata trying to hand out flyers, spreading their cause, receiving a few donations, helping out people who might need assistance… This is his everyday life.

"Excuse me—" He starts upon seeing a woman passing by near him, but he wasn't given any heed. "Alright, sorry."

"Hello, do you have time—"

"Shut up!"

This is his everyday life, and he was perfectly contented, of course.

He was a patient guy, actually. His friends always point out that he's nice, genuinely nice, that he's the type of person whom one can feel at ease with. He's been frequently told that he understands others well. To be honest, he doesn't think that he was doing anything grand and that he actually sounds lame most of the time, but he's not going to complain if he happens to be a source of comfort to his friends.

He likes helping others out.

That's one of the reasons why he's a charity worker.

He takes a deep sigh. The fact that there were many people today was usual. However, that doesn't mean that many people will take notice of them anyway. On a good day, he manages to get at least two or three people to listen to him… four, if he's extra lucky. Maybe get a couple of people who's willing to give in donations, too. Most of the time, however, he gets ignored.

But hey, he shouldn't mind. He should be good enough to understand that not everyone thinks the same way, that not everyone can be bothered to go out of their way to help.

He should know that.

Spending everyday usually not being too fruitful with his tasks tires him out, if he were to be honest.

Hinata lets out another sigh as he stands in the train station, waiting for his ride to come. He doesn't know how many times he has sighed this day already. He supposes that's how tired he is. The station was empty that day, not like it ever gets busy.

The city that he lives in isn't very populous—the bridge that they were in earlier might be one of the busiest places in it already. Even the train station never gets really full, and it also wasn't a rare occurrence for Hinata to go home alone. It wasn't a rare occurrence for Hinata to just suddenly start thinking of things as well, because hey, that's what people normally do when they're alone, right?

He sometimes gets the feeling that his life is too ordinary, actually. Too ordinary, too monotonous, and more 'too' things that aren't exactly what he'd call pleasant. But he wonders what is there for him to yearn for. Money? Fame? Power? No, not at all. Those things just don't fit him.

He had a girlfriend, actually. She said that he was nice, too nice—

"You little bastard." Hinata hears a voice and he looks up, confused. He sees a guy who… well, the first word that crossed Hinata's mind was… unordinary. The guy had white hair—Hinata doesn't think he has seen someone with hair like this already, and he had… green eyes? Gray eyes? Gray-green?

The guy giggles, and Hinata realizes that he has been staring at the stranger. He didn't even sense him arriving. Hinata looks around, making sure that the stranger was talking to him (there was the fact that the stranger was actually staring and giggling at him, but he's trying not to address that).

No one was around.

No one else but them.

He looks back to face the white-haired stranger who didn't seem to have stopped staring and smiling at him for at least a short while. "I'm sorry, uh," Hinata forces a smile. "Do we know each other?"

The stranger smiles. "What do you think, Hinata-kun?"

Why does this person know his name anyway?

And to be honest, no. Hinata thinks he won't forget seeing someone whose appearance is so… unorthodox. That wasn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just that the stranger has hair, as Hinata previously thought, that he never saw before, and he knows that he will never forget someone whose hair is as white as his. Not to mention, he looks so pale…

"Um, did I—" Hinata tries to suggest something, causing the stranger to smile even more. "Was it one of those, um… did I meet you—"

The stranger interrupts him with yet another giggle.

Hinata was confused. And uncomfortable. He decides to just divert his attention elsewhere, but just like before, the stranger didn't even stop staring at him with a smile. His discomfort just keeps on growing every second, but he did his best not to return the stranger's gaze at him. Surely, he'd get tired too?

Except he didn't.

The train arrives, and Hinata hurriedly goes in, as if he'd lose the white-haired stranger despite the fact that there was nowhere else to go. They were both in the station, after all. It only made sense that the stranger needs the train as well. He was wrong when he thought that the stranger will get tired because as Hinata sits on the usual seat that he occupies, the white-haired boy decides to occupy the seat across his, still smiling at him.

Hinata breathes deeply. He was too uncomfortable that he feels like simply saying 'uncomfortable' didn't do what he's feeling justice. Their eyes met, and Hinata quickly looks out the window, but he can still feel the stranger's eyes on him. He wonders if it was alright to continue ignoring the white-haired boy. For all he knows—

"You're still with that charity, are you, Hinata-kun?" The white-haired boy speaks up, his voice light and conversational. Despite the fact that the train was almost empty aside from them, Hinata still felt the need to question the fact that this stranger is indeed talking to him.

"Uh, yeah… yeah, that's right." Hinata replies, accompanying his words with a nod. He doesn't even remember this person. Why does he know what Hinata does? Hinata knows that he isn't very smart, in fact, he's… average, but surely, his memory is not weak enough for him to forget someone whose appearance sticks out so much?

"You said you're gonna ditch those losers years ago." The stranger replies. Despite his… not-so-kind words, his voice still sounded light-hearted and he still had a cheery smile on his face that Hinata felt like he might have imagined what he heard.

"Surely, uh, I didn't—" Hinata starts to reply, the stranger staring at him knowingly with a smile. "I wouldn't say that because, uh, well…" He feels like sighing, but he held it in. "Uh, for one thing, I don't think they are losers—"

"True." The stranger interrupts him and nods. "I think you said that they were twats and that… wanker. What's his name?"

"Uh…" Hinata shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He feels the need to look around the train once more, but he doesn't. He shrugs and forces a laugh, shaking his head. He could have sworn that he probably looked sheepish too, especially when he does think of someone, and he doesn't want to admit that he actually thought something like that about his coworkers. "Hanamura…?"

The white-haired boy points at him and smiles, almost looking proud. "Right! What that loser needs…" He pauses, and Hinata was almost scared to hear what he's going to say next. "…is a serious punch in the cock."

Hinata still forces a smile, but all he wanted was to get out of there.

"Preferably two." The stranger continues speaking and his smile leaves his face, his eyes seem to have gotten cold as he continues staring at Hinata.

Hinata allows himself to actually look around awkwardly. For some reason, he's pleased that, again, the train wasn't populous. He returns his gaze at the stranger and feels compelled to force another smile. The white-haired boy was still looking at him with that cold stare, and none of them speak for a while.

While this was even more uncomfortable than before, Hinata supposes he can put up with it better. He looks outside the train, hoping that maybe he'll find something that can distract him, hoping that if he stares outside enough, he'll forget that there was actually some stranger who was currently staring at him.

"Well, uh, it's been really great to catch up." Hinata speaks finally because he can't put up with that thick awkwardness and discomfort no matter what he thinks. "Uh, thank you."

The stranger's smile was back, and he nods his head, almost looking flattered.

"And, uh, I'm going to be getting off here, so…" The stranger didn't stop smiling at him at all. Hinata gets up from his chair as the train slows down, eager to go away. "So, uh, this is my stop now—"

"Me too!" The stranger jumps from his seat, and Hinata felt like hitting himself with a brick.

The place that Hinata lived in didn't have too many people as well. Everyone who lives in the area was familiar to him already because of that, and he's sure as hell that this stranger, who's still, for some reason, walking with him, doesn't live around these parts.

"If I were you, Hinata-kun," the stranger was speaking again, and Hinata braces himself. "I would just ditch the losers there. Screw them all is what I would say. I mean, I know they're your family, but what a—"

"Sorry, sorry, uh—" Hinata interrupts him before he says any more. "Where is it do you live exactly?"

The white-haired boy smiles at him, almost sweetly… Well, to be fair, all his smiles were sweet, no matter how uncomfortable they made Hinata feel. "Just up here on the left."

"What," Hinata is sure that he's making a confused face at the moment. "Up here on the left?" He repeated like a fool.

The stranger nods happily, still. "Yes, that's right."

"Right, that, uh," Hinata doesn't even care that he looks confused at the moment because he has every right to. "That's where I live."

The white-haired boy giggles and nods yet again, and Hinata was even more uncomfortable than he ever was earlier.

Hinata wasn't very happy to say that the stranger followed him even until his doorstep. Hinata also wasn't happy to admit, even just to himself, that he expected that occurrence. But what he wasn't happy about the most was the fact that despite expecting so, he didn't do anything. That was a mistake, he thought.

Hinata opened the door quickly and tried to go inside as fast as he can. That was his poor attempt of finally doing something about what's going on, even if it was rather late.

Just as he was about to close the door finally, just a little bit more, the stranger puts a foot on the way. Hinata instinctively looked down. Two-zippered shoes? Unorthodox, indeed.

"Aren't you going to ask me in, Hinata-kun?" The white-haired boy smiles again, and Hinata feels compelled to return it.

He opens the door wide, and the stranger happily steps in.

The white-haired boy was browsing through his things when Hinata walks in the living room. Hinata supposes that was a normal thing to happen, since he decided to go to the kitchen to get a drink for his 'guest'. But he can swear that the white-haired boy was being… too comfortable… and too snoopy, if he were to be honest.

He was lifting and touching every decoration, inspecting them one by one.

"Uh," Hinata starts, and he gets the stranger's attention. The white-haired boy turns to him as he finishes looking a decorative piece over. "I'm sorry, uh, this is all I've got. I don't really drink alcohol—"

The stranger quickly returns his attention to one of the picture frames and lifts it, waving it to Hinata. "This is your girlfriend, is it?" Not waiting for Hinata to reply, he examines the picture and nods. "Wow." He hums, still nodding. "You know how to pick them."

"Uh, could you not—"

"Boring clothes." The white-haired boy continues, interrupting Hinata. "Boring hair. Boring face." As if his words were not filled with venom, he looks up to face Hinata again with a sweet smile.

"Uh," Hinata realizes he has been doing that a lot today. "I'd really rather if you didn't—"

The stranger, once again, doesn't let him go uninterrupted and hands him the picture. Hinata walks towards the guy and takes it, placing it back on its previous position.

"Why, Hinata-kun?" The stranger speaks again. "She's not here, is she?"

Hinata takes a deep breath, placing the drink that he was holding earlier next to the picture frame. "The two us actually, uh…" He pauses, trying to think of a way to phrase what he's going to say better. The stranger was looking at him curiously, so he decided to continue. "We broke up. Last week—"

"Well, thank fuck for that." The stranger says, and Hinata was taken aback. Okay, Hinata already knows that his current companion isn't exactly the… politest person around, but still. "I mean, at least now you can get rid of all the crap she made you buy."

There were so many things wrong in that statement that he doesn't quite know how to reply. "She didn't, and it isn't… uh…"

"I mean, what—" The stranger picks up a skull head mask. "Hinata-kun, what is this meant to be?"

"That's actually, uh, a very unusual—"

"Look at yourself." The stranger throws the mask to the floor, and it was quiet for a moment. That must be the firmest tone that Hinata has heard from the stranger during their short span of… knowing each other. "Look, look at what that bitch has done to you."

"Sorry, uh," Hinata raises both of his hands. Alright, no. He's done with this. He's not going to put up with this anymore. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The two of them falls into something akin to a staring contest, and Hinata knows that he's not looking convincing at all. "Now." He adds as an effort to seem more persuasive.

The stranger chooses that time to smile and giggle again. Hinata can't believe this guy. He points to the door, and the white-haired boy smirks at him before practically sashaying to the exit. Hinata hurries to the door and closes it rather loudly. He was ready to just forget about this happening. He just had to take a deep breath, and—

He peeks at the peephole, and the weird stranger was still there. The white-haired boy immediately does a kissy face at his direction, almost as if he knows that Hinata will be looking… That causes Hinata to flinch. Despite the fact that the stranger was already outside, hopefully never coming back, Hinata's discomfort just keeps on growing and growing and growing—

He returns to the living room, his hand on his head, and when he gets there, he stops, all color draining from his face.

The stranger.

The white-haired stranger.

He's comfortably lying down on Hinata's couch.

Hinata blinks repeatedly, his head shaking. The stranger was staring at him, all trace of playfulness gone. The atmosphere was so thick Hinata could feel like he can cut through it with a sword. Despite returning the stranger's intense gaze, he can feel that his hands are shaking as he tries to force the words out. "…Who are you?"

The stranger reclines to look at Hinata better. "You really don't know?"

All Hinata could do was shake his head.

The stranger still smiles, sweeter than ever before. "I'm your hate, Hinata-kun."

The shaking of Hinata's head slows down, but he knew that he still looked confused. "…What?"

"Your hatred." The stranger rephrases, as if Hinata doesn't already know that. "Your loathing, your contempt. I'm yours in human form."

Hinata didn't respond. The air was tense again, not like it ever stopped being so. He can't just digest this at once…

"Surprise!" The stranger exclaims happily, as if doing his best to gauge a reaction.

What Hinata did was to close his eyes and breathe as deeply as he can. He's feeling really stressed out all of a sudden. He shakes his head. He hopes that if he opens his eyes, maybe he'll just find out that he was dreaming, after all. This was just too…

He looks up, and unfortunately, no, he was awake, this wasn't a dream, and that just does not make any sense at all. "But that's, uh…" unordinary? Especially for someone like him? "That's, uh… I mean, that's just…" He shakes his head again. He doesn't know how many times he has done that today already. "That's ridiculous."

Hinata goes back to holding his head. This was just too much for him. He hasn't experienced anything as… weird as this. Besides, hate? He has that? That's not possible. He wasn't a bad person. He was thoughtful, considerate, and as his friends repeatedly said, a nice guy. He was patient, trustworthy—

"Maybe that's it." The stranger wasn't on Hinata's couch anymore. No, he was standing beside Hinata now.

Hinata turns to face him. "…What?"

"Maybe you're too nice." The stranger smiles knowingly. "There's a lot of stuff that you've been repressing."

No, no, and no. That's wrong. Hinata is not going to believe that. He walks out of the living room as he replies. "See, that's just not true. Because I can't even remember the last time I felt any swat of anger—"

The stranger was magically in the room that he went to again, leaning rather comfortably against the wall. "Yesterday in the supermarket." He smiles. "You held a door open for an old woman and she didn't even look at you."

"That—that wasn't—"

"You wanted to brain her with a melon."

"Okay."

"Two hours later, a child screaming in the bus… you had a sudden urge to chuck it out the window."

"Yes, yes, I—but I didn't. I didn't." Hinata sighs and runs a hand on his face. "And it was very, very, very loud."

"Shall I go on, Hinata-kun?" The stranger tilts his head, almost challengingly.

It was silent once again. The atmosphere wasn't as thick as earlier, but there was still that general discomfort looming in the air.

Seeing as Hinata has no counterargument anymore, the stranger smiles.

Hinata can't believe how fast he has accepted this. He's now lying on his bed, wrapped by his thick blanket that normally comforted him no matter what, but the fact that there was somebody beside him gave him great unease. Hate, or whatever, Hinata doesn't really know how to refer to him, was sitting next to his own lying form, leaning his back on the headboard.

"Okay, so…" Hinata clears his throat, lying on his side to face his companion. "…What should I call you? I can't possibly go around calling you… Hate. Or something… right?"

"Hmmm…" He rubs his chin, contemplative. "Hate's not a bad idea, actually, but hey, wouldn't it make more sense if you name me yourself, Hinata-kun?"

"What? Well… yeah… that's actually right."

He hums. "So?"

Hinata pauses to think. It's not like he was prepared about this. He didn't anticipate that some white-haired boy claiming that he's Hinata's hate will just show up one day in his life. White hair… Hinata allows himself to think of white hair, allows himself to think of clouds, of cotton… He briefly closes his eyes as he clears his mind and recalls that game that he used to play back then…

"That's it." Hinata speaks after a while, opening his eyes. The white-haired boy's attention was still wholly directed to him. "…I'll call you Komaeda Nagito."

"Komaeda Nagito." He repeats as if testing it out. He nods afterwards. "From that game that you used to play."

"What? You know about that too?"

Komaeda nods. "That game frustrated you a lot. You felt stupid for not figuring out things easily. But you didn't want to admit that to yourself—"

"Alright, alright, stop it." And Komaeda does. That makes Hinata almost infinitely thankful. "Okay, I have questions for you, Komaeda."

"Ask away, Hinata-kun."

"Do you…" Hinata clears his throat. "Do you know everything I get upset about?"

"Not necessarily just 'upset'. There has to be contempt, as I said. There has to be hate. I am hate, after all."

"Alright, sorry, second question. If you are my hate, then why are you…" Hinata pauses, unsure on how to continue. He doesn't know how to phrase this without making things a little too awkward. "Uh, why are you so…" He gestures to Komaeda, and solemnly hopes that the latter gets it. Hinata can feel his own cheeks burning as he does so.

Komaeda raises a knowing eyebrow. "You know, to certain people, hate can be extremely attractive."

No. Hinata turns on his other side, facing away from Komaeda. He just wants to bury himself under his blanket forever. "This isn't healthy."

Komaeda giggles, patting him on the head twice.

This can't be good.

The incessant ringing of Hinata's alarm clock roars in the whole room. He immediately gets up, startled, looking around the place.

Alone.

He was alone.

There was no one else in his room. He hurriedly turns off the alarm clock and looks around the house, searching everywhere. He probably was just extra tired yesterday that he dreamt of something that strange. There was no hate, no Komaeda, no white-haired boys, no one at all in this house except him—

"I'm back, Hinata-kun!" Hinata hears a familiar and cheerful voice, and all his hopes that meeting Komaeda was a dream, a nightmare, were dashed and thrown out the window. Komaeda's voice came from the entrance of the kitchen, and so Hinata goes there to see what exactly did Komaeda do outside.

He sees Komaeda carrying two plastic bags full of alcohol—vodka, whiskey, rum—and he was removing them from the bag one by one, placing them on the counter.

"Whoa, whoa—" Hinata stops Komaeda's hands. "What is this? I don't need—"

"I had thrown some of your stuff out." Komaeda squeezes his hand, causing Hinata to retract his hand away. The white-haired boy continues unloading the plastic bags. "All that fair trade crap."

Hinata rushes to the fridge and opens it, making a face. "Where is my orange juice?" His stress levels are rising really fast. He walks towards the cupboards, opening them one by one. He looks at the counter where Komaeda is continuing to place different kinds of alcohol, and he notices the sakuramochi placed not too far from them.

"Alright, okay, why is there sakuramochi here?"

Komaeda finishes unloading the plastic bags and turns to Hinata, holding his hands and looking him in the eyes. "Hinata-kun… You love sakuramochi."

Silence surrounds the room, and Hinata is nothing but confused. "…Do I?"

So it began.

Hinata couldn't get rid of Komaeda, so he just had to make the best of it.

They were sitting next to each other, watching television. It was a pretty usual thing. It's something that a guy and his… hate can do together. There was a bag of potato chips in between them, again, a pretty usual setting involving usual people… Komaeda gets the remote as he chews on some of the potato chips that they have.

"What bullshit." Komaeda changes the channel, and Hinata doesn't even say anything anymore. "Boring." He changes the channel again. "How hopeless." Hinata wonders if he was just imagining things, but it sure does feel like he heard the remote button making a sound when Komaeda pressed it rather aggressively.

Then it was silent. Komaeda stopped on a certain channel, eating another handful of chips while staring at the television. Hinata looks at the show too, wondering what it was that was enough to keep Komaeda's attention after that aggressive channel-surfing. It was an interview with Hagakure Yasuhiro, a, for some reason, famous fortuneteller. Hinata has heard that his predictions are said to be accurate thirty percent of the time… if he were to be honest, that's pretty low.

"The guardian spirit with a perm head chasing a Bigfoot who was cursed by sky fish—that's your very own guardian spirit!"

"Look at this guy." Komaeda speaks in between chewing his food. "What a total fucking moron."

Hagakure laughs out loud, and the interview looked like he was trying his best not to look weirded out. "He is…" Hinata replies, contemplating if he should just leave his sentence that way. It was too mean to completely agree with Komaeda's statement. Calling someone he doesn't even know in real life a 'total fucking moron' is just wrong. "…quite irritating." So he adds as a way to alleviate things a bit.

Komaeda smiles at him, and Hinata gets the feeling that Komaeda knows anyway. "Won't you just love to smash his grinning face in?"

Silence falls upon them yet again. Komaeda was still smiling at him, and for some reason, Hinata can't stop himself from smiling back.

As it turned out, they had a lot in common.

"Hinata-kun!" He called from outside the house, and Hinata opens the door for him. The white-haired boy was holding two huge bags, one in each hand, and there were three big boxes scattered around him. "Help me out, please?"

"Uh, what are those?"

"I'm moving in my things, silly Hinata-kun!"

"Things? What—" Komaeda hurriedly walks to him and thrusts the bags in his hands. Hinata almost falls to the ground, or at least that's what it feels like; he knows that won't happen anyway. Komaeda goes back outside and carries one of the boxes, and Hinata just knows that he doesn't really have a choice anymore.

Why does Komaeda even have possessions? Isn't he supposed to be a personified form of something abstract?

He places the bags neatly somewhere and joins Komaeda outside, stacking the two remaining boxes atop each other and lifting them. Oh, fuck, they're heavier than he thought. He sighs. He can do this. The door to his house isn't very far anyway. He'll just think of this as one of the helpful things that he does for work…

Komaeda was already inside, already opening the first box. Hinata places the two boxes near the white-haired boy and observes just what exactly is inside the box that Komaeda brought in. It was opened, and Hinata sees…

"Books?" He crouches down beside Komaeda, peering at the latter's shoulder.

Komaeda turns to him with a smile and happily replies. "Yes. Books! See, there's a saying that a man's bookcase will tell you everything you need to know about him, so I decided to put my own books in your bookcase."

"Sorry, that doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to." Komaeda lifts the box and stands up, grunting. Hinata watches him again and stands as well, curious about what he'll do next. The white-haired boy makes way to Hinata's bookcase and throws one of the books to the floor.

"Whoa, hey, why—"

"You have no need for these boring books, Hinata-kun! I'll replace them, as I said!"

"No, you said—" But Komaeda continued throwing them one by one, and all Hinata could do was sigh exhaustedly.

When Komaeda was done putting his books in, Hinata takes a look at the new titles in his shelf, and really, he shouldn't have been surprised.

'Hate and War.'

'The Dictionary of Hate.'

'Neural Correlates of Hate.'

Hinata hears the sound of glass breaking, and he runs down to his living room because he figured that the sound came from there. As he was running, he hears the sound again, and he picks up his pace, because really, it's normal to feel alarmed when one hears that kind of noise from their own home, right?

Hinata sees Komaeda in the room, the white-haired boy's back facing Hinata. The decorative ornaments that used to be all over the room were now on the floor and smashed. Different cracked compact discs are scattered around, accompanied with stuffed animals whose cottony insides are showing.

"I can't—" Hinata starts and Komaeda turns around, looking at him seriously. The white-haired boy was holding a string of some sorts, and Hinata follows it with his eyes. It has a spear at the other end, and Hinata doesn't even wonder where Komaeda got that anymore. The spear was aimed at a stuffed rabbit— "No."

Komaeda just continues looking him in the eyes.

"Please." Hinata shakes his head, his own eyes desperately looking at Komaeda. "That's Usami—"

"It's for the best, Hinata-kun."

"No—"

Komaeda lets go of the string and it impales Usami. Hinata's jaw drops, and he wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

The white-haired boy just smiles at him as sweetly as ever and exits the room.

Soon, they were inseparable.

Hinata holds Komaeda's hand. "Let's take a walk."

"Sounds good." Komaeda squeezes his hand. "Let's just stroll around."

Hinata doesn't know why, but Komaeda just… seems to look even more attractive with each day. They walk next to each other, their fingers laced, and they continue walking to the direction of a group of people that looks like family. The group has a picnic mat on the ground, and the two of them walk all over the mat, earning disapproving stares and colorful language aimed at them.

Komaeda just giggles at Hinata, leaning his head on Hinata's shoulder, and for some reason, Hinata doesn't even want to object anymore.

In fact—

Hinata looks back at the family and sees the father still glaring at them. He shows an offensive finger at Hinata, and he feels the urge to return the gesture, so he does.

—In fact, it's actually starting to feel enjoyable.

"Hinata-kun?" Komaeda smiles at him, and Hinata returns his smile. "I have more fun activities in mind. Let's go!"

"Alright." Komaeda looks giddy as he explains what they're going to do. "We're just going to run and you give your best shot, okay, Hinata-kun?"

"Alright, I can do that."

Komaeda counts to three and the two of them sprint towards a couple sitting on a bench. Hinata lifts his hand and hits the guy's head, Komaeda doing the same to the girl with him. The couple groans in unison, looking up to glare at them, but they continue running away as fast as they can.

Komaeda was laughing beside him as they ran, and Hinata can feel his own heart race, partly because of running itself and partly because he has never done anything like that before. He breaks out to laughter and joins Komaeda, and he feels himself tightening his hold around the white-haired boy's hand.

"So many birds." Komaeda comments, looking at a strange-looking man wearing a scarf. The man was surrounded by birds, as Komaeda has observed, and he seems to be trying to feed each one of them. Komaeda nods. "Impressive."

"Yeah, he managed to calm those many birds at the same time."

Komaeda hums and looks around. Hinata curiously observes at him, wondering what Komaeda is searching for. The white-haired boy approaches a discarded paper bag and looks inside, nodding.

"Komaeda? What's that?"

He hands the paper bag to Hinata. "It has a few plastic bottles on it."

"And?"

"You should throw that near the man. Not at the man, nor at the birds. Just near."

"Oh, okay."

"Throw as strongly as you can, Hinata-kun!"

Hinata nods and takes one step closer to the man and the birds, throwing with all his might. It lands just beside the man, and he shouts, agitating the birds. The birds started making noise, all of them at the same time, and they started flying in all directions.

Komaeda laughs beside Hinata and holds his hand again. "Ready for the next one, Hinata-kun?"

Hinata laughs, peering at Komaeda's phone. "Okay, this one is my favorite."

'Fuck your shit!' The man in the video yells at them, and his voice is accompanied by Komaeda and Hinata's recorded laughing voices. The man was getting farther and farther as the two of them run away, and the camera pans to another place in the park. Komaeda giggles while watching the video that they took, and Hinata just can't stop himself from watching Komaeda now instead of the video.

Komaeda's laughter sounds so relaxing, and his smiling face is just the best one that Hinata has seen. "You know, Komaeda…" He leans his head on Komaeda's shoulder and whispers. "I think I might be falling in love with you… Is that weird?" He looks up to see Komaeda's reaction, and Komaeda was looking at him too with a flattered smile.

"Well…" Komaeda giggles. "It's kind of sick, I suppose." He squeezes one of Hinata's hands. "But I like that… Hajime-kun... Can I call you that?"

Hinata smiles and removes his head from Komaeda's shoulder to lean his forehead on Komaeda's instead. The white-haired boy closes his eyes, his cheeks slightly blushing, and Hinata closes his as well, placing his lips on Komaeda's soft ones. "You should call me that, Nagito."

The two of them were sitting next to each other in Hinata's living room, a video game console plugged into the television. They were playing against someone whose username is 'shsl_gamer', and they were steadily losing for hours now. Except this round. They seem to have a chance this round.

"Die!" Hinata yells as he angrily mashes the controller's buttons, Komaeda doing the same beside him. "Oh, come on! Fuck! Fuck!"

Hinata aims at one of the enemy characters that he can see. His bullets are about to run out, and he was using his favorite gun at the moment. "Fuck! Just die!" As if hearing his command, the enemy lets out the prerecorded scream of defeat, and Hinata finds himself yelling 'Fucking yes!' at the same time with Komaeda.

Hinata and Komaeda are in the tub together, both of them holding a shot glass of whiskey. Hinata doesn't really drink alcohol back then, but he was drinking now as if he has been doing so his whole life. He can't deny that he feels like his throat is burning though, but he continues because it feels oddly gratifying.

His face feels warm, no, actually, his whole body feels warm, especially since they're soaking in hot water. He's not really sure if he's drunk—he's never been drunk before, but somehow, if he were to give a wild guess, he'd say yes, he's indeed drunk.

"Okay, Hajime-kun." Komaeda just finished taking a shot and placed the glass on the edge of the tub. "You rule the world. Who do you kill?" He pauses for a moment. "Go."

Hinata takes a deep breath. For some reason, a lot of answers are flashing in his mind. "My old headmaster, Monokuma?" Komaeda nods at him, urging him to continue. "Pop idols, baseball players, programmers, bikers…" Hinata pauses again to take another shot. "…Bears?"

Komaeda nods at him again. "Especially bears."

Hinata nods as well.

"Excuse me—" Hinata starts upon seeing a woman passing by near him, but he wasn't given any heed. "Fuck, I was talking to you, you—"

His coworkers stop him from throwing his shoes at the lady.

"Hajime-chan! It's a good thing that you were able to come!" They were greeted by Hinata's friend, Mioda. Hinata didn't really want to attend the party tonight, if he were to be honest. He doesn't know why he's here, but he dragged Komaeda with him anyway. Mioda takes notice of that and looks at the white-haired boy with a smile. "Oh, oh, oh? Who's this, Hajime-chan?"

They both don't reply, just staring at Mioda. She starts looking uncomfortable, but she still forces a smile and an awkward giggle. "Well then… You guys should join the others inside!"

It was noisy inside the house. Hinata can feel the floor vibrating because of the blaring speakers, and the lights flash repeatedly with different colors. He was sitting next to Komaeda on a couch, the white-haired boy lying down on Hinata's lap, the both of them just watching Hinata's friends dancing their hearts out.

Hinata doesn't know why… or maybe he does, but—

He was prepared for his friends to see certain changes in him, but now, he's starting to think that they're different as well. He wondered why he even befriended these people. They just seem so… annoying. Stupid. Childish.

He doesn't want to stay here any longer.

"Nagito, let's go."

"That guy Souda-kun is a wild twerp." Komaeda starts as they walk away from the house, the loud party music still slightly audible even as they increase their distance.

"Yeah…" Hinata agrees. "Well, he's my best friend."

Komaeda raises an eyebrow. "Funny way of showing it."

"What do you mean?" Hinata turns to him, his eyes questioning.

"He told me about your nickname? At school?" Hinata nods at Komaeda, urging him to continue. "Hinatasshole?"

Hinata makes a face. "He told you that?"

Komaeda nods. "Yeah, and he also said you fainted one time during a school trip, and everyone doodled at your face and made sure to erase them before you woke up. He even showed me some photos."

Hinata furrows his eyebrows, shaking his head.

They were back at home, the two of them drinking whiskey again, and Hinata takes a shot before getting the phone that Komaeda handed to him.

"Hello? May I ask who this is?" Hinata hears the voice of his friend, Sonia.

"Oh, hey, Sonia." Hinata replies, taking a deep breath. "It's Hinata. Is Souda there?"

"Oh, if it isn't, Hinata-san. Let me call him. Kindly wait for a short while."

Hinata waits for Souda to pick up, and he feels Komaeda leaning his head on his shoulder. Komaeda's hair tickles him and it was almost distracting, but Souda's voice was enough to snap him back to reality. "Hey, Hinata—"

"Your mother sucks cocks." Hinata hurriedly speaks and ends the call, throwing the phone across the room.

Komaeda wraps his arms around Hinata, snuggling even closer. "You did well, Hajime-kun."

They decided to make similar calls to everyone Hinata knew.

After which, he sent them emails, explaining the situation more fully.

(I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK ME THIS LONG TO REALIZE HOW MUCH YOU GUYS ARE A WASTE OF TIME. ALL OF YOU ARE STUPID AND YOU ONLY EVER TALK ABOUT YOURSELVES ALL THE TIME. YOU ONLY ACCEPT GIFTS THAT YOU WANT, AND NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN. I'M DONE PUTTING UP WITH ALL OF YOU, LISTENING TO YOUR WHININGS, AND HELPING OUT IN YOUR BUSINESSES.

I'M DONE. DON'T WRITE BACK. DON'T CALL. JUST NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.)

"There, there." Komaeda lies down beside him on the bed, wrapping his arms around Hinata. "Calm down, Hajime-kun. Deep breaths, deep breaths."

Hinata turns to face Komaeda, returning his embrace. "Thanks for being here."

Komaeda flashes him that lovely smile, shaking his head. "It's nothing, you know. It's my pleasure."

Hinata places a hand on his cheek, planting a soft kiss on his lips. "I love you…"

"I love you too, Hajime-kun."

Hinata kisses him again, moving his lips slowly against his. He feels Komaeda's fingers running through his hair, and it felt so comforting and calming for him. He laces his own fingers on Komaeda's as well, feeling how soft it actually is. Komaeda's hair looks really soft, almost like it was made of cotton, and it was nice to feel that it was actually as soft as it looks.

Hinata opens his eyes and sees that Komaeda has his closed, his pale face flushing so noticeably. The sight gave Hinata an odd feeling of satisfaction, and he closes his eyes again, lightly forcing Komaeda's mouth open with his tongue. Komaeda doesn't even try to fight—instead, he moves even closer to Hinata, closer than they already are, and Hinata takes this opportunity to explore Komaeda's mouth then and there.

Komaeda lets out a breathy moan, but it was muffled because of their ongoing kiss. It felt electric each time their tongues touched, not like Hinata was complaining. It made him feel alive, made his heart beat faster, and it was generally a pleasant sensation for him. He teased the roof of Komaeda's mouth, and he feels Komaeda shivering under his embrace.

Hinata pulls away, the two of them being temporarily connected by a fragile string of saliva. Komaeda was still blushing, and it took all of Hinata's willpower not to just scream about his cuteness. He lightly pushes Komaeda and climbs atop him, unbuckling the white-haired boy's belt. Komaeda does the same to Hinata's, and they both throw each other's belts far away from the bed.

Hinata pulls down Komaeda's pants, admiring and touching his soft legs on the way. Komaeda was so pale, and his skin was so smooth and soft… Hinata can't find anything that he can't admire. He leans down and kisses Komaeda's thighs softly, and Komaeda places his hands on Hinata's hair, lightly pushing him away.

"…What's wrong?" Hinata looks up, wondering.

"You should…" Komaeda puts his hands on Hinata's pants. "…take off your pants as well."

"Oh." Hinata nods and shimmies out of his pants, tossing it away too so it can join their belts. Komaeda then reverses their position, and Hinata almost complains, it not for Komaeda palming Hinata against his underwear. Hinata groans and bucks his hips up, desperate for more of Komaeda's touches.

Komaeda tugs on Hinata's boxers, and Hinata helps him take it off. Hinata was already hard, and he felt himself twitch when he got greeted by the cold air. Komaeda stares at his cock, and Hinata almost feels self-conscious, but all his thoughts were halted when Komaeda dips down and gives his tip a tentative lick.

Hinata already reacts to that, and he forces himself not to shut his eyes because he wants to see what Komaeda looks like. Komaeda is so attractive… possibly the most attractive person that he has met. Hinata feels Komaeda's smooth hand gripping his cock's base lightly while sucking on the tip. Komaeda's lips are so soft, and Hinata groans, his hand instinctively gripping Komaeda's hair.

Komaeda closes his eyes and takes Hinata deeper in his mouth. He hums, and Hinata feels the slight but very noticeable vibration that Komaeda's humming caused. It caused a pleasant sensation surrounding his cock, and Hinata's whole body shivers. Komaeda's mouth is so hot and wet around him… Hinata feels like he'll possibly go insane from the pleasure.

"D-Do that again." Hinata groans. He can feel himself shaking. "Please."

Komaeda bobs his head, as if nodding, and he hums, granting Hinata's request. The vibration was there again, and Hinata groans, bucking his hips up. He can feel Komaeda's hot tongue all over him, and he's starting to feel lightheaded. Komaeda's hand around him starts moving up and down, accompanying his tongue's ministrations. Oh, no, it got even better.

Hinata moans, shutting his eyes. "N-Nagito…" He forces out. "Please stop."

Komaeda pulls away, and Hinata gets a good look of his flushed face. Some strands of his white hair are sticking on the sides of his face, and he has a bit of drool and come on the sides of his mouth. That might have been the most erotic sight that Hinata has ever seen. "…What's wrong? Hajime-kun?"

"Nothing…" Hinata rests his palm on Komaeda's cheek and pulls him closer. "I'm about to come… and I haven't done anything for you yet."

"It's okay—"

Hinata reverses their position this time. He still feels like he's floating, but he can at least do this. He takes off Komaeda's underwear, tossing it haphazardly off the bed. Komaeda was already hard as well, and while that was probably obvious, Hinata was relieved to actually see for himself. "Hajime-kun…"

"Yes…?"

He smiles a bit, though his face was still flushed. "In the drawer of the bedside table… I put a bottle of lube inside."

Oh. Hinata nods and hurriedly scoots to the edge of the bed. Was Komaeda preparing for this? He felt oddly flattered and turned on at the thought. He pulls out the drawer and sees an unfamiliar bottle indeed, and he takes it, waving it for Komaeda to see. Komaeda nods at him, confirming that it was indeed the bottle, and Hinata closes the drawer to return to Komaeda's side.

"You know how to use it…" Komaeda starts, his own breathing ragged. "…right?"

Hinata nods and removes the cap of the bottle, pouring a generous amount in his fingers. The liquid was clear and sticky on his hand, and he supposed that was good. He makes his fingers linger and rub on Komaeda's entrance, not doing any penetration yet, just so he can coat the area with lube.

He tentatively pushes one of his fingers inside, keeping a close eye on Komaeda's reaction. Komaeda moans, and Hinata takes in the sound of that. He rests his free hand on Komaeda's cock, teasing the tip with his fingers. The white-haired boy gasps, surprised, and Hinata dips down to kiss him lightly on the nose.

He continues moving his finger inside as he jerks Komaeda off with the other hand. He pushes his finger carefully, not so fast, not so slow either, because he doesn't want to accidentally hurt Komaeda. He curls his finger experimentally, his eyes still trained on Komaeda's face, and he was relieved to see that Komaeda seemed to have liked what he did.

He inserts a second finger, and Komaeda slightly quivers underneath him. He stops, and Komaeda seems to have taken notice of his worry because he nods at Hinata, wordlessly telling him that it's alright. Hinata pushes his fingers deeper and slowly. There was no need to rush, after all. He just wants to make sure that this will be pleasurable for the both of them.

He widens his fingers, as if copying how a pair of scissors would move. Komaeda moans again, and the satisfaction that that brought Hinata was unbelievable. He tries to reach as deep as he can, hoping to hear more, more of Komaeda's voice. Komaeda was beautiful, so beautiful, too beautiful—

"Hajime-kun…" Komaeda calls him, and it almost felt hypnotic.

"…What is it?"

"I'm ready now. It's okay..."

Hinata nods and removes his fingers from Komaeda. He was almost hurrying too much when he picks up the bottle of lube that was unnoticed for a while. He squeezes the bottle and the clear liquid pours to his palm, and he carefully coats his cock with it. He was still a little bit wet with Komaeda's saliva, but he knows that the moisture that provided is not even nearly enough if they want to go all the way.

Hinata feels Komaeda's curious eyes on him, and it feels nice, feels so nice to know that Komaeda is looking at him at the moment. When he thinks that the amount of lube he has applied on himself was enough, he looks at Komaeda, wordlessly asking if he's ready. Komaeda smiles at him and nods, spreading his legs wider.

Ahh, that sight was too much for Hinata.

He positions himself in front of Komaeda, and he slowly inches inside with the same care that he did earlier during preparation. Just like earlier too, he makes sure to watch Komaeda's reaction closely because really, the last thing he wants to do is harm Komaeda. They groan in unison when Hinata's wholly inside, and he feels Komaeda's legs hooking themselves around his waist.

The heat and tightness that Hinata was feeling at the moment was even better than what Komaeda's mouth provided. Sure, that wasn't bad, but—

His train of thought got interrupted by his own moans. He feels like he's floating again as he thrusts deeper inside Komaeda. Komaeda's hands find his, squeezing them tightly, and Hinata returns the gesture. He continues moving inside as he dips down and starts kissing Komaeda again, their tongues meeting. The electric sensation was there again, and it was all too much. The light jolts that he's feeling all over his body, and the tightness that he's feeling right now in his cock, it was all—everything he's feeling—too much.

Hinata does his best to hold on longer as he grips Komaeda's cock in his hand. Komaeda moans, their kiss momentarily breaking, but Hinata immediately resumes it. He continues jerking Komaeda off and thrusting inside, and the moans and whimpers that Komaeda is letting out are intoxicating, addictive—Hinata feels like he just wants to continue hearing them forever.

"H-Hajime-kun!" Ah, and that was Hinata's favorite of all. Komaeda's voice screaming his name. "I-I'm close—"

"It's okay…" Hinata dips down again, planting soft kisses all over Komaeda's neck. "I-It's okay, Nagito, it's okay."

Komaeda shuts his eyes and lets out a final moan as he comes, spilling all over his own chest and Hinata's hand. Komaeda tightens even more around him, breathing harshly, and Hinata can't keep himself from following suit. He comes as well, releasing inside Komaeda, and he doesn't stop himself from falling on Komaeda's own tired form.

They stay like that a little longer.

Hinata wraps his arms around Komaeda's waist. He feels Komaeda's come touch his own chest, but he doesn't really mind. The room is silent except for their breathing, and it was an oddly comforting sound for Hinata. He feels Komaeda's hand on his hair, playing with it gently, and Hinata closes his eyes. The gesture relaxes him too, and he wants to fall asleep holding Komaeda like this…

Hinata gently pulls out, but he doesn't let go of Komaeda. He rolls to lie down beside Komaeda, nuzzling the white-haired boy's neck. "I love you…"

"Oh, Hajime-kun…" Komaeda faces him and kisses him softly on the lips. "I almost forgot… About your friend, Souda-kun."

"We showed him." Hinata nods, letting out a quiet and short laugh. "We showed all of them."

"I sucked him off in the toilet."

"What—" Hinata felt like he was frozen on the spot. "Just what—"

"He practically forced me to it."

Hinata shakes his head, his eyebrows furrowed. Somehow, he feels like he can hear ringing in his head. "I'll kill him."

Komaeda doesn't reply for a while. He just snuggles closer to Hinata, tightening his embrace. "I think you probably should." He places his lips on Hinata's, and Hinata just closes his eyes.

Hinata's head is pounding.

His fists are clenched, his teeth gritting, and he can feel that his entire body is cold. He was slightly shaking as well, but he wasn't scared, no, not at all. It was quite far from that. He just wants to—

"Dude, Hinata," Souda calls out to him, surprised. "What the hell is going on?"

Wants to—

Hinata lifts his fist and hits Souda on the face.

Or at least that was what he tried to do.

Souda evades him and punches him hard instead, and he felt himself falling to the floor.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck everything.

He can see Souda looking confused, shaking his head, and leaving.

Goddamn it.

Goddamn it all to hell.

Suddenly, and really, it was so sudden, even Hinata was surprised, Komaeda shows up and kicks him twice in the stomach. Hinata lets out a loud groan, his hands instinctively flying up to cover where he was hit. The pain was excruciating. He felt like he was going to pass out any moment soon.

"W-What are you doing?" Hinata does his best to manage words anyway.

Komaeda crosses his arms. "What does it look like, Hajime-kun?"

"I thought…" Hinata breathes in deeply, his hands still on his stomach. "I thought you were supposed to be on my side!"

Komaeda hums, tilting his head. "Well, have you never heard of self-hate?"

He kicks Hinata again, and Hinata feels like he actually blacked out.

It was that point Hinata realized that their relationship wasn't working.

"Not working?" Komaeda looked confused. Hinata doesn't know if he's aware that he's shaking his head lightly. "What do you mean, Hajime-kun?"

"Uh, you—I'd—" Alright. Good going, Hajime. He doesn't even know how to say this properly. "You, uh… I don't think you're a good influence on me."

"What?" Komaeda looked even more confused. "Well, who wants to be good?"

Seriously? "You're…" Hinata pauses again, collecting his words in his mind. "…bigoted, uh, shallow… selfish, cowardly, and… untrustworthy."

Komaeda smiles happily. Hinata seriously doesn't know why the white-haired boy is looking so flattered at the moment. He has his hand on his chest, his smile making him look like he was glowing. "And?"

"I—" Hinata was almost speechless. "I just think that we need, uh… some time apart."

Komaeda's smile was still on, but then it slowly changed into confusion again. He then furrows his eyebrows and momentarily bites his lower lip. "You're breaking up with me?"

"No." That was Hinata's instinctive response, accompanied by the shake of his head. "No, Nagito."

"You ungrateful fool." Komaeda shakes his head again, opening his mouth to continue speaking, but no words came out. Hinata was almost afraid to let him continue speaking. Komaeda finally finds his words and proceeds. "After everything that I have done for you—"

"Yes!" Hinata finally finds the strength to retract his instinctive saying of no. "And I, uh—I do appreciate—"

"You think you can just walk out here and that will be the end of it?" Komaeda's eyes just then… They were liked darkness piled upon darkness, to the point the darkness itself was glowing brightly… It terrified Hinata, if he were to be honest. "You can't break up with me! I am you!"

Hinata holds up his hand, unsure of what to say.

Komaeda stands up, his chair almost tossed aside.

"I'm—" Hinata bites his lower lip. "I'm sorry."

"You will be." Komaeda bites his lower lip as well, his eyebrows furrowed, as he walks away from Hinata. Hinata followed Komaeda's retreating figure with his eyes, speechless, and when he finally finds his voice, Komaeda was already gone.

"W-We can still be friends!" Hinata calls out anyway.

It was the first day that Hinata spent without Komaeda ever since their encounter in the train station. It felt oddly… empty, but he can't deny that there was also the feeling of being relieved. He felt like his thoughts were quieter now… and more peaceful too. Even his surroundings were more silent now without Komaeda's constant and usually hostile commentary.

His walk on the way home was also quiet except for the sounds of nature. Chirping birds… rustling of leaves… Ahh, how long has it been?

He nears his doorstep and takes out the key from his pocket. The metal key was cold to the touch as he pushes it in the keyhole, and he turns it, hearing a soft click. He pockets the key and enters the door, closing it behind him. Now that he thinks about it, Komaeda really has made a lot of changes in his house.

Oh, well, Hinata is ready to recreate everything again. Maybe finally design it the way he wants.

He hears footsteps, and he freezes on the spot.

Komaeda enters the room, seemingly from the kitchen, with his arms crossed. He wasn't wearing his usual smile, nor does he say anything, and the two of them just stared at each other in silence. Komaeda, at least, doesn't have that intimidating glint in his eyes anymore. He just seemed displeased and pissed off now, and that was easier to handle… Hinata thinks?

"Sorry, Hajime-kun." Komaeda finally speaks, his arms still crossed. "But I can't leave either."

"I don't understand…" Hinata furrows his eyebrows. "You weren't here years ago, so why?"

Komaeda tilts his head, and finally, a small hint of a smile shows up his face. "I think you're the only one who can answer that."

He walks towards Hinata, and Hinata takes a step back. Komaeda almost looks offended, but he decides to ignore it and places a hand on Hinata's chest.

"There's something in your life that you're not contented about." Komaeda stares him in the eyes again. "And if you want to get rid of me, you'll have to address that, Hajime-kun."