Title of Story: Want Vs. Need
Rating: M
Pairing: Edward/ Bella
Genre: Romance
Word Count: 4543
Story Summary: Living an unfulfilled life for years has left Edward empty and in need. After some soul searching, he decides to go after what he wants; consequences be damned.
Standard Disclaimer: The author does not own any publicly recognizable entities herein. No copyright infringement is intended.
*O*o*O*
I studied her every day; it seemed to be my new hobby.
She fascinated me on a primal level and her beauty pleased some artistic part of me hidden deep down inside.
Her firm, high breasts and slender golden thighs were always on display. I sometimes wondered if it was deliberate because I knew that Bella watched me too.
I couldn't deny it to myself any longer, I wanted Bella Swan, and she was our babysitter.
I wanted her sweet warmth wrapped around my cock and I wanted to see her riding it hard.
God, what a bastard I am.
I have a cold and admittedly empty wife whom I'd been with for more years than I could count. Sex with Charlotte was always about her feeling good. Never once, in ten years of marriage had she asked me what I liked nor had she ever tried to find out.
I went through the motions with her and eventually I managed to come, relying on the images in my head while having sex. Needless to say, those images were not of Charlotte.
It satisfied me on a very basic level, which left me wanting...more.
But no one would deny that I have become a stalker.
Bella consumed me. She was eighteen-years-old and so fucking sexy. I could see it was something that she was born with; this deep dark sensuality was not an act.
The very first time she caught me watching her, she had appeared shocked, her wide, dark blue eyes flying to mine with a soft gasp. But now she put on shows designed for my eyes alone. I knew this as if she had whispered her intentions in my ear.
Every time she bent over in my presence or leaned down so that her t-shirt gaped, she would watch me carefully to see my reaction to her body.
I knew this, she knew this, and yet nothing had been said about our mutual wants, nothing tangible had happened at all between us.
But the atmosphere surrounding us was loaded, like the quiet before the storm.
Bella was a delicious piece of ass if ever I'd seen one, faultlessly made; she was every man's dirty fantasy come to life. With long, dark brown hair and a perfectly oval face, she was flawless in a way that satisfied all my senses. She had a pout that made my thoughts go to very dirty places and a beautifully curved, toned figure, which was made to wear as little as possible.
Charlotte was oblivious to her baby sitter's charms. Bella's beauty was of an earthy kind far removed from Charlotte's ice queen perfection and so Char would think that it was inferior to her own and not worth her consideration.
She didn't seem to understand that her perfection was repellent to me. It was so blank and useless, an empty shell; a department store mannequin.
I longed for earthy, rough, and yes, dirty sex, which fulfilled me and made me feel like a man. I didn't feel particularly guilty about my thoughts regarding Bella. I was a man after all and a sexually starved one at that. Char didn't seem to care if I looked at other women, yet again her self-confidence was my bonus because I knew that she didn't think I would ever cheat on her.
And I had been faithful to her, for longer than I cared to remember.
However, I wasn't sure how much longer I would remain so.
Today was no different, Bella was here to look after Jared and I had a knot of hot excitement sitting in the bottom of my gut. I hadn't seen her yet; I was sitting in my study trying to concentrate on the final argument for my latest case. I knew the minute she arrived because of the exotic, sweet scent, which drifted in the air, a presence that sent tingles along each and every one of my nerve endings. I heaved a massive sigh and raked an unsteady hand through my fucked up hair before pulling off my tie and pulling my shirt buttons apart.
A soft knock at the door and Char peeked in, a small cool smile playing around her lips. "Edward? I'm off now. My meeting is in an hour. Will you check on Jared before leaving for the office?"
I nodded as I leaned back in my chair, my notebook still in one hand. "I will. Have a good evening at work."
I could hear the edge creep into my voice whenever I spoke to my wife, even if she couldn't. She angered me on a level I couldn't handle; her lack of interest in me was like a poison, eating away at the little we'd had between us.
Charlotte sauntered towards me; her intentions clear in her eyes. She wanted a kiss from me to stroke her ego and placate me while she was gone.
Unfortunately, tonight, I wasn't in a mood for her manipulations.
As she earned down to kiss me, I turned my face slightly so that her lips grazed my cheek instead. I felt her stiffen at my silent rejection.
As usual, she brushed the problem under the rug and straightened, acting as if nothing was wrong.
I smirked at her, letting my contempt for her show in my eyes. I did this periodically to try and get her to acknowledge the giant white elephant in the corner of the room.
However, as usual, she avoided the confrontation, just as I knew she would.
"Bye love," She said, smoothing her titian hair in the large ornate mirror beside the door.
"Goodbye, Char," I said avoiding the meaningless endearments she loved to use.
She left and I heard the door click closed in the hall a few seconds later.
I heard Bella's soft tone as she spoke to Jared. His high-pitched childish tone followed, earning him a giggle.
Jared adored Bella and I can't say I blamed him.
She was everything Charlotte wasn't, kind, playful and loving.
I slid the pen back into my Smartphone and debated whether I should go and see Bella now or rather later after Jared had gone to sleep.
I decided on the latter.
I finished my final argument, each word coming forth from me painfully because my mind was constantly drifting to Bella. Once I was done, I went to shower.
My whole fucking body was aroused just by her mere presence in my house. I leaned against the shower wall and stroked the length of my cock slowly as I listened to her speak.
Her soft, husky voice went straight to my cock, every time without fail.
I wanted her so badly that the need had begun to control my thoughts throughout the day and night.
I heard the bedtime laughter and shrieks as Bella bathed Jared and got him ready for bed.
I couldn't wait for my son to go to sleep so that I could see her. I wondered what she was wearing today. It was usually something tight and short.
I finished showering and got dressed in my usual work attire.
Charlotte and I worked strange hours; sometimes we were called into the office at night for various reasons.
I didn't mind in the slightest, our peculiar hours meant we spent very little time together.
Silence filled the house as I went down the stairs. Jared had long since fallen asleep. I checked in on him as I went and I smiled at his sweetly innocent face. I loved my son dearly although I doubted my own sanity when I thought of who his mother was. What had I ever seen in Charlotte? The truth was that I wasn't sure anymore.
I found Bella sipping a glass bottle of Appletiser, her feet tucked under her as she read a book so thick it dwarfed her small hands. I stopped in the doorway, leaned against the frame and let my eyes eat her up.
Her long hair was twisted on top of her head in a messy bundle of waves, some of which fell across her face. Her rosy lower lip was caught between her white teeth and the sight of that made my gut clench down hard.
Fuck me.
I really wanted to taste that lip and that mouth of hers.
In fact every goddamn inch of her.
I felt my body stir to life as dirty thoughts about this girl coursed through my mind in blinding confusion, like a kaleidoscope of porn.
Her feet were bare and I noticed as one big toe peaked out from under her leg. The nail, a deep glistening ruby red.
That color contrasted beautifully with her golden, sun-kissed skin, as did her white lace shorts and dark blue camisole.
Slowly, her eyelashes fluttered upwards and I was drowning in a sea of deep blue. A sensuous smile tugged at her generous mouth as she studied me, studying her.
"Hi," She said at last as she closed the book and set it aside.
I smirked at her, lazy, slow, "Hi." I replied in kind.
A lovely blush tinged her cheeks as she eyed me with much the same expression I knew I was using to watch her.
"Are you going to work?" She asked, all breathy and low.
I nodded slowly as I allowed my eyes to dip into the enticing camisole she was wearing. "Yes. I came to say goodbye. I will be back in about three hours. Charlotte might be home sooner or later, you never know."
Bella nodded her eyes transfixed by mine. "Okay." She murmured voice husky and delicious.
"Bella?" I asked softly as I sauntered towards her chair. Working on instinct alone, I decided in a heartbeat that I would finally have this girl if she'd let me.
She swallowed hard as I approached and I grinned at her.
"Yes?" She questioned.
"Can we talk honestly? There are some things I want to discuss with you."
I saw her eyes widen at my words. She looked nervous as well as eager to prolong our conversation.
I knew that what I was about to do was wrong on so many levels it wasn't even possible to rationalize. Nevertheless, I wanted Bella so badly it just wasn't possible to imagine going through another day where I hadn't experienced the feel of her skin beneath my hands.
My phone vibrated in my pocket and I paused for a moment to pull it out and see who it was.
It was a text from Charlotte saying she'd be home late tonight.
I deleted the message without a pause as relief washed through me. I had more time with Bella, that's all that mattered.
Bella tilted her head to one side questioningly as I slid my phone back into my pocket.
"That was Char saying she'll be late," I explained as I watched Bella's eyes intently.
Relief flooded the ocean-blue depths of her fathomless eyes and I felt triumphant because I knew Bella felt the same way I did.
Bella stood nervously just as I closed the gap between us. She startled when she realized how close I was to her. She inhaled shakily, her shoulders visibly trembling with untold emotions.
A gasp fled her mouth as I cupped her chin with my hand.
Tiny pinpricks of electrical current raced along my nerve endings from the point of contact, and we both shook at the long-awaited exchange.
I'd waited so long to touch her and it was just as epic as I'd imagined.
Bella's skin was like warm velvet, I longed to stroke it with my tongue.
I began by stroking her chin, slowly, in short soothing sweeps until my thumb touched the outer curve of that lush lower lip. On instinct, she wet them, a brief sweep of her pink tongue between the crease of her lips peeping out. I watched, fascinated and unbearably aroused. I raised my gaze slowly towards her wide slightly shy gaze.
"What did you want to discuss, Mr. Cullen...um...Edward?" She asked her voice soft, breathless and huskier than before.
"It's just Edward," I whispered beside her ear, my breath making the hanging tendrils dance gently.
I inhaled deeply, she smelled like the best French vanilla and orchids.
So fucking delicious.
I grinned slowly as she trembled again. "But you're my boss...it doesn't seem right to call you by your first name," she argued randomly looking for something to say, nerves showing in her voice.
"You could just call me Edward when we're alone, Bella. Like now."
She nodded jerkily and swayed towards me as if she too could feel that gravitational pull between us.
Slowly I lifted her chin until she was forced to look up at me. "I want you," I told her simply when our eyes met.
She didn't reply, at first, her gaze stunned and her mouth opened partially.
"Edward, you're married," She said at long last.
"That fact doesn't have to stop us...being together." I pointed out.
"But I don't want to be that girl. You know, the one that breaks up a marriage. I love Jared...I... I just...can't." She was now rambling.
"It would only break up my marriage if Charlotte found out. But I'm not worried about that, Bella."
I watched the indecision play out across her lovely features as I began again to stroke her skin.
"I want to kiss you, Bella. Let me."
A sound suspiciously like a whimper left her mouth as I tugged on her lower lip, opening her mouth partially.
Bella was a good deal shorter than I was and I had to lean down to reach her lips. When I touched mine to hers, napalm exploded across my entire body, her soft, sweet, velvet lips parted beneath mine and I thrust my tongue inside her almost harshly.
Slowly Bella began to kiss me back, as white-hot heat settled around us pulling us in deeper and closer together. Her small hands slid onto my shoulders to steady herself as a deep trembling shook her limbs.
Bella fit into my arms as if she was meant to be there, her body molding to mine like fucking poetry. I was hard, my erection causing her to stiffen as I rested against her. Boldly I rocked into her softness and felt my cock twitch at the sound of her moan.
I wasn't so sure I wanted to stop at a kiss, as had been my earlier intention.
She was just so amazing and perfectly tempting.
The baby monitor lay on top of the table beside Bella's drink so I knew that we would hear Jared if he awoke.
Both Bella's hands lifted and simultaneously slid into my hair, her finger stroking my scalp sensuously. I shuddered, my entire body alive with a need that twisted my gut up into a steel coil.
I explored her waist and then her firm ass that was encased in thick lace. I pressed her against me, I rolled my hips up into her sweet softness and I swallowed her moan eagerly.
I pushed her backward until she was sitting on the low wooden table that ran along the wall. Bella's ridiculously long legs immediately lifted and wound around me, pulling me deeper into her softness.
Her skin was truly like velvet, I longed to taste every inch of her.
Her caresses were tentative and inexperienced; she was so young and innocent.
I'd thought that maybe she was far more experienced than her age dictated, but now that I'd tasted her, I knew that wasn't the case.
"Beautiful Bella," I whispered against her neck as I nipped at the satiny flesh there hungrily. "I want you so fucking much..."
She shook against me and arched into my embrace like she couldn't get close enough.
I found her lips again, devouring and tasting every inch of her mouth. My hand wound around her long hair and I pulled slightly, tilting her head at just the right angle so that I had the control and not her.
I found that I liked having Bella at my mercy. My body was throbbing with the desire to be buried inside her.
A whimpering cry on the baby monitor made us leap apart guiltily.
We stared at each other for a split second before Bella left the room hurriedly to see what Jared needed.
Reality hit me like a shit ton of bricks, dousing my arousal instantly.
What the fuck was I doing?
It was one thing to lust over Bella in my fucking mind but entirely another to make this sick little fantasy of mine a reality.
I didn't love Charlotte but cheating had never been my thing either.
I waited for the guilt I knew I should be feeling to hit me and it didn't, leaving me feeling oddly unbalanced.
Everything about Bella just felt so right, like she was mine without ever having claimed her.
Angrily raking my hair off my face, I found my car keys and left the house without the awkward confrontation I knew would follow our lapse in control.
*O*o*O*
I returned late that night from the office. I parked the car and went inside, tugging on my tie as I walked. The house was silent and dark. I saw that Charlotte's car was still missing, which meant she wasn't going to be home at all, which is what she sometimes did. I had long suspected that she wasn't always at work. My gut instinct had often told me that I was the only one who had been faithful in our marriage.
Ten years of lies and a one-sided devotion made me realize that it was time to let go of the farce which was my marriage.
Charlotte just wasn't worth my loyalty.
Tension immediately appeared deep in my gut as I thought about being alone with Bella in my house.
The hours of work had done nothing to lessen the jaw clenching lust I felt for Bella.
It had only served to lessen the sensation of doing something wrong. I'd wrestled with myself endlessly and found that I wanted Bella more that I wanted to stay faithful to a woman I frankly couldn't stand.
Cheating was not something I'd generally condone, but right now, I couldn't remember a good enough reason not to.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialed Charlotte's number. It ran twice before she answered, her voice rather breathless. Under normal circumstances, I'd find that suspicious, but I didn't care anymore.
"Hi, Char," I said as I finally freed the tie from my shirt and tossed it onto the kitchen counter. "You going to be late?"
"Hi, darling, yes, I'll be back in the morning after my first board meeting to see Jared."
"That's fine." I agreed easily. "Don't rush; I'll be back at work very early anyway so I may not see you."
"Okay. See you later Edward." Charlotte said softly. "I love you."
I found that I couldn't even force myself to reply in kind.
I cut the call satisfied that she wasn't going to be back anytime soon and went to find Bella.
She was asleep on the sofa, sprawled out on her back, one arm partially covering her face.
Her lips were parted in sleepy abandon and her camisole was pulled up a little over her stomach revealing inches of creamy olive skin. Her belly button was exposed and I felt a tightening in my trousers at the thought of licking its perfect oval. Her thick hair was piled up on top of her head in a messy bundle and my fingers itched to release those waves and force my fingers into the decadently shining strands.
She was just so fucking beautiful, she moved me in ways no one else ever had.
She was also so young.
That should have been a deterrent to me, seeing as though I was approximately fifteen years older than her. But it wasn't in the slightest. It only made me want her more.
I stood over her, drinking in her beauty when her eyes opened and blinked up at me sleepily.
She didn't say anything at all, she just stared up at me with those deep, sea blue eyes and I felt my heart beat race at the silent message she was sending.
She wanted me.
It was there, in her slightly parted lips and gentle pants. It was there, in her gaze, which silently employed me not to go.
There were a few moments of loaded silence as we gazed at each other before I sank to my knees beside the sofa. My fingers itching to undo her hair, so I did.
She sat up slightly, balancing on her elbows as her breathing became ragged. I actually shuddered as my fingers slid through the thick silk-like tresses on her head. I tugged at the elastic band that held her hair together and it tumbled down around her face in wild waves.
I cradled her head between my hands as I dragged her closer to me and kissed her plump lips. The room swung dizzyingly around us as our tongues tangled, getting more and more desperate by the second. I was so hard already; my cock ached as it twitched beneath my trousers, begging for attention.
Bella sat up while we kissed, her lithe legs sliding down on either side of me as she straddled me and we sank onto the carpet. Her little fingers touched me tentatively, first my hair and then my neck and chest.
Her innocent touch had the ability to make my body react with startling ferocity, I groaned against her lips as her heated core came to rest against me in the deepest caress yet.
Deliberately we didn't speak at all, sensation guiding our hands and tongues, our conversation hungry kisses and thrusting hips.
Bella smelled of a sweet girly scent I couldn't identify and yet it was delicious, like a vanilla sundae.
I rolled her beneath me and quickly shed my clothes before removing hers while slowly savoring every inch of newly exposed skin.
I kissed and licked at her soft skin making her writhe against me and gasp my name out loud.
Fuck, I loved that sound, it shot straight through my body like a shot of pure cocaine.
Addictive and wild.
Bella's nipples were hard and I sucked at them hungrily, living in the moment just to hear each of her whimpers and moans. Her hands still clutched at me, holding me as close as I could go.
We were naked now, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. She was so soft and supple against me; I wanted to drown in the sweet sensation of Bella wrapped around me.
I slid my fingers between her slick folds and watched her eyelids flutter and her plump lips part in a breathy whimper. I caressed her pussy slowly, giving maximum pleasure before pushing a single finger into her soft velvet depths.
Fuck me, she was so tight. My dick twitched in longing to be inside her.
"Edward, I want you inside me," She whispered.
I looked up and found myself drowning in wide blue eyes shyly fixed on my face.
"You're so tight, Bella. I don't want to hurt you." I told her thrusting my finger in and out of her soaked pussy with slow precision. "You feel so goddamn good wrapped around my finger, so fucking good."
A beautiful blush spread across her cheeks at my words. "You feel good too," She whispered, her eyes sliding shut again as she put her trust in me and enjoyed what I was doing to her.
I reached it and found the condom hidden in my wallet. I opened it and pulled it on before I placed the aching tip of my cock at her entrance. Bella arched into me, pushing me slightly inside her.
The sensation was like none I'd ever experienced before.
Pleasure, sweet and heated, burned through my nerve endings and made a tight ball of excitement grow in my gut.
I leaned in and sucked on a rosy nipple just inches from my face. She tasted just like she smelled, divine.
I rocked my hips into the junction of her supple thighs, reveling in her lovely little moan. My cock slid into her partially and then I thrust myself inside her fully.
We both cried out at the euphoric feeling of being joined.
I'd had many women and experienced many levels of desire and pleasure, but none had been as keen as being buried inside Bella.
I thrust into her again and again, our bodies moving together with the practiced ease many people take decades to achieve.
Bella matched my thrusts perfectly, intensifying our pleasure.
I could feel the familiar tightening deep in my abdomen.
Bella reached for me and we were kissing again. Deep, soul destroying kisses which stole my breath and my heart.
I felt her satiny flesh grip mine as her walls began to flutter around my cock.
Suddenly a gush of warmth flooded her pussy as she came on my dick.
I allowed myself to come too, our bodies pulsing together over and over again.
"So good, Bella, so good." I murmured as we broke our kiss.
She gazed at me, her eyes soft and sleepy.
Without thought, I rose and took her with me to my bed, grabbing the monitor off the table as we went.
Everything was as natural as breathing with Bella. Sliding between the cool sheets, our naked bodies curled around each other easily and we drifted off.
The feeling of Bella finally wrapped in my arms lulled me into a deep sleep, far more so than usual.
*O*o*O*
A shocked gasp woke me.
I sat up in bed immediately only to find Charlotte standing in the doorway transfixed by the sight before her.
Her face was blank, her eyes hard as she took in the sleeping form of Bella still beside me in our bed.
Without a word, she turned to leave. "My lawyer will be in touch." She spat, before leaving the room and closing the door with a loud bang.
I felt nothing as I watched the woman I'd been married to for so long leave.
I felt no desire to follow her or try and explain. There was nothing real between us anymore, maybe there never had been.
I was a good lawyer; I would make sure I kept Jared. That's all that mattered to me.
Bella sat up beside me, her hair a mess and her lovely face sleepy. "What was that?"
I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips. "That was the end of my marriage."
Bella pulled back and eyed me with trepidation; fear and worry quickly appearing on her face.
"Aren't you upset?"
I thought about it for a moment, as a genuine smile spreading across my face. "No, everything I want and need is right here in this house."
I silenced Bella's protests by kissing her again.
Suddenly, the future seemed very bright.
The possibilities endless.
And I was free to follow my heart.
*O*o*O*
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