Hello, I'll be brief. This is total AU, everyone is human (even though Magnus seems a little out-of-this-world at times). You'll see lots of characters from the book and lots of references. Clarification for the Lightwood family: Alec, Isabelle, Max, and Jace are all siblings but Jace was adopted. Also, this will be a multi chapter and a very slow burn. C'est tout! I hope you enjoy.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't" Alec Lightwood stuttered, "I have a college interview Friday night."

"Night?" the tall blonde asked. Her lips pulled apart with a sort of smacking noise from all the glittery lip gloss she had applied. It made Alec cringe.

"Yeah, I know, weird time." He laughed a little but even lipgloss barbie could tell it was faked. Alec wasn't so good at hiding his nerves like his brother, Jace. However, blondie figured that his nerves were due to the tube top she was sporting that showed off a little too much cleavage. She smiled, thinking it was cute.

"Well some other time, yeah?"

"Yeah, no, sure" Alec rushed out, tugging lightly at his messy, raven back hair. Her eyebrows furrowed at the ambivalent response but gave a little nod and a 'see you round' before turning and strutting off. She added a little hip action too, knowing just how great her ass looked in the denim skirt she wore. Alec, however, wasn't watching. Girls batted their eyelashes at him, pushed out their breasts, sent little air kisses his way. But Alec was never watching.

With half lidded eyes Alec breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back against the lockers. That was the second time this week he'd been asked out, at least this time his excuse was legitimate. He pressed his sweaty palms against the chill of the metal locker door. Breathe, Alec. Alexander Lightwood never understood his appeal. He didn't get why girls wanted to date him when there were people like Jace who existed. Mostly though, Alec hated letting them down. He hated the crestfallen look on their face more than anything. It's not that he deeply cared about the girls who asked him out, he hardly knew them. He just didn't want to hurt anyone. The girls who asked him out typically didn't know him either. All they knew was that he was tall and beautiful and had eyes as blue as a caribbean sea. But they didn't know that he was also incredibly honest, and humble and when he smiled it lit up the whole room. Not a lot of people were lucky enough to see that smile.

"Hey man."

But Jace was one of those people.

Jace clasped Alec on the shoulder startling him out of his little pity party. Jace smirked at the surprised gasp he got.

"Daydreaming are we?"

"No, I was just- uh, nevermind." Jace gave Alec a little look but didn't bother pressing.

"Well, I was just in the locker room and somehow a few of those dumbasses cheated their way into Lit and were talking about the witch-"

"Ms. Herondale" Alec corrected.

"Yeah, whatever. If she wants me to show her respect than she should pull the stick out of her ass and stop being such a bitch." Alec rolled his eyes at that but knew that Jace wasn't entirely wrong. Ms. Herondale was always particularly cruel to Jace, for no reason. Okay, well, there might be some provocation.

"And? What about her?"

"Anyway they were saying she's gone, taking some emergency medical leave or something" Jace said excitedly.

"Oh man, I hope she's okay" Alec said concerned.

"Okay? Are you kidding me. I hope she croaks."

"Jace!" But Jace just gave Alec a grin because Jace loved riling up Alec almost as much as he hated Ms. Herondale. Today was a good freaking day Jace thought. Before he could say he was just kidding (sort of) the bell rang.

"Lit time" Jace grinned while Alec muttered something under his breath about Jace and his sociopathic tendencies. They turned together and headed upstairs. Lit wasn't in the English hall. It was actually set off from the other classrooms on account of the copious amount of books read. It was on the third floor and adjoined with a sort of library/storage room just for the books read in that one class. Upon arriving Jace and Alec noticed, along with everyone else, that Ms. Herondale wasn't there. She was always early to class and her absence as the second bell rang was a sure sign that those dumbasses in the locker room were right- Ms. Herondale was gone. Jace watched the chaos of people enjoying their freedom with a sort of triumphant gaze as if he had caused it himself. People sitting wherever the hell they want, phones out, sitting on desks. even some making out in the back. In fact most people were in the back as if they feared the disease of learning and knew it could spread to those who sat too close to the chalkboard. Jace, on the other hand, wanted to sit up front and he went to the seat closest to the teacher's desk.

"Alec, sit here" Jace said as he tapped the desk to his left. Alec scrunched up his face a little at the proximity to the front but didn't protest. Jace wasn't a nerd or anything, in fact he was the opposite. He was all gorgeous, golden looks and was amazing at literally anything he tried and he had a killer body. Not that Alec noticed or anything. Jace would be MVP of any sport he tried but he didn't try. He hated team sports. The only people Jace needed or wanted in his life were his siblings, Alec and Izzy, and his girlfriend, Clary Fray. The same went for Alec, really. While Alec did try taking part in some clubs he had his people and he was content with that. In fact, he even had a little trouble accepting Clary into their group at first but he'd grown to love her like his own sister.

Now sitting down Alec began nervously tapping his pencil on his desk. This school wasn't exactly known for hiring loving, patient teachers and Alec figured this would be no exception. And what's more is that he was in this class with Jace. Jace who loved to mess with teachers. Jace who loved to outsmart teachers. Jace who loved to talk back to teachers. Jace, the boy teachers hated. Alec didn't particularly want to be hated but he usually was through association. So, yeah, Alec was a little nervous.

Then, with a bang and what looked like a small glitter explosion the door flew open and in walked a young man. Alec's eyebrows shot up because this man was beautiful with toned arms, a captivating half asian face, bright green gold eyes as if Clary and Jace had mixed eye colors and they seemed to almost glow. His hair was spiked up and, yup, that was definitely glitter. He was wearing a silk, purple T shirt and canary yellow trousers and had a grin on his face that reminded Alec of the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland (he only watched the movie because Izzy forced him too, just to be clear).

"Hello darlings, I'm Mr. Bane." Mr. Bane's eyes floated around the room taking in all the shocked faces and paused for a moment on a particular set of deep blue eyes. Alec flushed and looked down. With a flourish Mr. Bane picked up a piece of chalk and scrawled his name on the blackboard. Alec glanced over to Jace who looked slightly amused but for the most part seemed unfazed. Alec, however, felt his heart beating out of his sweater clad chest. Breathe, Alec.

"Alright so my little dumplings, I presume it's obvious at this point that your teacher is not here and probably won't be back for a while. She got into a terrible accident. Car crashes, nasty little things." Alec's eyebrows went up a little higher. The way Mr. Bane said 'terrible' and 'nasty' almost made it seem like he was amused by it. By the angel, this guy is a total nut job.

"So, in the meantime I will be filling in for Ms. Herondale as your AP English Literature and Composition teacher. However I am not a substitute which means that you will show me a modicum of respect and not make out during class, please grope on your own time" Mr. Bane glowered at the two kids in the back who pulled apart suddenly. Glancing back at them, Alec couldn't tell if the flush on their cheeks was from the kissing or the embarrassment. Turning back around Alec saw Mr. Bane's face immediately change back into a happy grin.

"Great, now that we have that settled I am going to take attendance." Mr. Bane rifled through some papers until he found the attendance sheet.

"Ah, wonderful, okay. Harold Balz" Mr. Bane looked up at the boy who had raised his hand, his face full of pity.

"You go by Harry, don't you?"

"Yes, sir" said the boy. He was wearing a bright red letterman jacket.

"How unfortunate for you" Mr. Bane spoke sympathetically. Some people snickered, including Jace. Mr. Bane continued to read off the names and Alec listened attentively, always worried he might miss his name. Jace, on the other hand, was completely engrossed in a tattered copy of Paradise Lost. Then Mr. Bane reached the Ls.

"Alexander Lightwood." Alec raised his hand and Mr. Bane looked at him with a little smile as if he saw something Alec didn't yet. Usually Alec would ask his teachers to call him by his shorter name but there was something about how Mr. Bane said 'Alexander' that made his heart skip a beat. After a moment Mr. Bane pulled his gold green from Alec's blue and looked back down at the sheet, clearing his throat as if he too was affected. Alec bit down on his lip, hard.

"Jace Lightwood." Jace raised his hand without looking up from Milton's words. Most Lit teachers would be intrigued by a seventeen year old boy reading Paradise Lost (especially when it's not on the curriculum) but Mr. Bane only looked back over at Alec.

"We're brothers" Alec said, thinking that's why Mr. Bane was looking at him. That wasn't why. Mr. Bane's eyes twinkled, and it wasn't because of the glitter.