Change of Heart
By TheBuffinator
Summary: As Buffy adjusts to her new life after she's been brought back from the dead, she finds comfort in Spike, but even as the two grow closer, a new Big Bad finds a sudden interest in the Slayer.
Rated: PG
Spoilers: Mid 6th season
Yea, yea, I know. All the BTVS characters belong to Joss, but I've recently kidnapped them and won't give them back until I am completely finished with the story.
Chapter 1
Buffy strolled through the cemetery with her good friend Mr. Pointy, looking for some vamps to kill. It had been a slow week thus far and she was itching for a good fight. That's strange. Right when you want the vampires they mysteriously vanish. She sighed. She had been keeping herself real busy lately, just to keep her mind off things. Like how miserable her life was. Ever since she had come back from the dead, she had been going through the motions. Wake up from a nightmare at 3:00 in the morning, don't go back to sleep, take a shower, brush her hair, brush her teeth, help Dawn off to school, go to work, do the housework, make dinner, patrol, do some late-night activity with Spike, go back home and go to bed, sleep until 3 am when she'd wake up screaming from a nightmare and then it'll all start over again. Oh, how her life sucked.
And Spike didn't make it any better. She'd recently started sleeping with him, and even though she knew it was wrong, she did it anyway. She couldn't stop. It was like she was addicted to him. She laughed. She was actually thinking of Spike as a drug. How ironic.
He took it though. All the anger she put out on him, he took it. Wouldn't complain once. Why would he though? He's always wanted it, hasn't he? To be with her. He said he loved her, right? Was it true, though? Could he love her without a soul? Buffy didn't know. Sometimes she was sure the feelings were fake, but there were other times when he was so sweet and gentle, that it made her reconsider. And those were the times she hated the most. When he was tender. Because then she didn't know what to think. And her emotions would whirl around inside of her and she was unable to pick one and keep it. She kept telling herself that she hated him. That she had to hate him. But when she was with him sometimes, emotions would whirl again and she wasn't sure if she did hate him. It confused her.
While still in her little reverie, she was unaware of the vampire behind her. It wasn't until he stepped on a leaf, making it crush under his combat boots, that she was popped out of her bubble and whirled around. She came face to face with a military-clothed vampire that looked like he had found the yummiest treat ever. Fledgling, thought Buffy.
"Hey there, little missy. You shouldn't be out alone. Especially at night. You could be eaten," he said with an animalistic growl.
"Thanks, but I don't think I need advice from a dead guy," Buffy said with an innocent smile. She secretly pulled her stake out from her waistband and hid it behind her back. She wanted to surprise this guy.
The vamp frowned deeply in confusion. "Why aren't you running? I'm a vampire, lady. You should be scared of me."
"Oh! Right, I'm sorry. I was a little distracted by your smell. Personal question, did you smell this bad when you were alive?"
The vampire was shocked now. Who the heck is this lady? "Are you insane?"
Buffy gave a mock-hurt face. "Oh, well now I'm hurt. It was just a simple question. Geez, you vampires take everything so personally."
The vampire was done chitchatting and lunged at Buffy. She knew that was coming though, so she just simply sidestepped and the vampire crashed into nothing. He stopped and gave a confused look. "Huh?" He was cut off though by a wooden stake being stabbed through his heart. His eyes widened and he fell to the ground in ash.
Buffy frowned, un-satisfied. "Well that was boring." She sighed and put her stake back in her waistband. "Looks like it's gonna be another slow night."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that, luv," drawled a familiar voice.
Buffy closed her eyes and let out a huge sigh. She didn't turn around. "You know, Spike, being stalked isn't a very big turn on for normal girls."
He shrugged. "Good thing you're not normal, then." He walked around her to face her. She opened her eyes and regarded him.
"What are you doing here?" She demanded.
"I was a bit bored so I thought I'd kill something before Passions came on." He tilted his head in that cute way that Buffy absolutely adored. Wait, cute? Adored? No. He may be hot but – wait, hot? Ugh, stop thinking of him like that.
"Wanna join me, pet?"
She looked at him, startled. She was about to say "no way" when she reconsidered it. There was nothing better to do, and she was up for some company, anyway. She shrugged. "Whatever."
He looked at her, taken back. He didn't think that she would have accepted his offer. Well, people surprise you everyday. He smiled. "Okay then, if you're done walking around the cemetery doing nothing, we can head over to my crypt." He turned his back and headed over there.
Buffy glared at his back. She had thought he was following her around. She had sensed him. She didn't like it much, but she had to admit that it did give her a sort of comfort. Knowing that he would always be watching her back. She didn't feel as lonely either.
She fell in step with him and they walked the rest of the way in silence. She glanced at him every so often but would turn away as soon as he looked her way. She didn't want him catching her staring at him. That would be awkward.
Stepping into his crypt, she noticed that he had cleaned it up a bit. Even though she would never say it to his face, she thought he had fixed the place up quite a bit. There was furniture spread out over the place and a mini fridge in the corner that he, of course, kept his blood in. In the middle of the room there was his TV and an armchair in front of it, worn out by so many uses. Downstairs, though, is where it really got nice. He had rugs all over the place and a few couches. At the end of the hallway he had a huge bed with silk covers. It looked like a normal bedroom, aside from the few coffins sticking out of the walls.
She took off her coat and put it on the hanger he had next to the door. Looking around once more, she walked over to the armchair and plopped onto it. Spike had been right, she had been wandering around the cemetery for a long time, just pondering on everything. She had been doing that a lot lately. If there were no vampires around, she would just walk along the cemetery, enjoying the cool night breeze and occasionally sitting on top of a crypt and looking up at the stars. Even with Spike a few times. So now she was pretty tired and her legs were killing her.
Spike followed her and stood next to the armchair she occupied, studying her. She was looking really distant, like she was trying to remember something she couldn't or was just thinking about lots of stuff. He went with the latter. When she still hadn't noticed him standing there, he cleared his throat. She jumped and looked up at him, smiling lazily. "Sorry, just kinda out of it today."
He nodded understandingly. He crouched down beside her. "Wanna talk about it?"
She shrugged. "Nothing to talk about. Just been a bad day is all, like every other day in my life."
"It'll get better, Buffy."
She looked down at him. "It has to."
He looked into her eyes for a minute, trying to read her thoughts. Before he could really know, she looked away. He sighed. "How are your mates doing? The Nibblet?"
She shrugged again. "They're okay. You know, the usual."
He nodded. "Not treating you any different? Still guilty, yeah?"
She looked down at her lap. "Yeah, still guilty." She paused, "They think I'm doing better. That I'm happier."
"Are you?"
She didn't answer at first. Just continued avoiding his eyes. Finally she answered, "No."
He looked at her sympathetically. Wait, no, not sympathetic. I can't let her see that. She'll feel even worse. I'll be acting just like them. Those bleedin' Scoobies.
"Just give it time, Buffy. You'll be happy soon enough."
She finally looked at him. "But what if I don't? What if I never become happy? What if I spend the rest of my life being miserable and trying to make my friends feel better?"
Spike took her hand and looked into her eyes. She couldn't look away. "You won't. You may not be happy now, but you will be later. And remember, I'm always here for you, pet. I'll never leave you. I'll always be here to watch your back. I promise."
Buffy silently wished that he would keep that promise. Even if she didn't like to admit it, she felt better hearing that. Knowing that he'll always be there for her, no matter what. It made her feel less lonely and not as miserable. She smiled at him.
"I know. Thank you."
He looked surprised. "For what?"
"For always being here for me when I need you. I appreciate it."
He smiled back. "Your welcome, luv."
For a moment, neither said nothing, just stared into each other's eyes. After shaking herself awake, she smiled slightly. "I should go. You know, before Dawn goes to bed."
Spike shook himself too. He stood up. "Oh, yeah, right. You should go."
She stood up and walked to the door, aware of Spike's eyes on her back. She put her jacket on and turned to him. "Patrol tomorrow?"
He nodded. "Yeah, sure. I'll come by your house at 8:00."
She nodded, also. "Okay, sounds good. Goodnight, Spike," she said, turning on her heel and walking out the door.
Spike stood there, watching her leave. After a moment he replied, "Goodnight Buffy."