The dialogue is different, just because I didn't bother to go back and watch the end of the episode again and i wanted it that way. Whatevs. I was bitten by my muse and had to write.
She watches him shine onstage; a mohawk-wearing diamond in the rough.
The lapel of his tuxedo is slightly turned up, just the way he likes it. It's not visible from here but she imagines the perpetual twinkle in his eye shines bright even from the last row.
She holds her breath as he fits the perfect bedazzled shoe to the foot of the perfect girl, wearing the perfectly bedazzled dress.
Her dress. Her shoes. Her best friend.
He is prince charming and he's found his princess.
But she?
She may as well be an extra.
He straightens and the two of them fall together like two pieces of the perfect puzzle. It's torture but she can't look away. She can't stop watching him kiss her like she can't stop her own heart from fizzling into ashes.
She exhales slowly, refusing to bite her lip, refusing to show any kind of emotion but the expected excitement for her best friends first (and most likely only) theatrical performance. (He could be an actor, to be honest. Maybe the next Brad Pitt. He's to earnest, so raw in his emotions and the memorized lines fall from his lips in utter perfection) Her desperate attempts must fall short though; her brother nudges her and she starts. She'd almost forgotten he was there.
"You okay?" he says. She thinks that he knows. He has to know. He's her brother after all and he's been there during the countless sleepovers, movie nights, and all-nighters. He must know she's in love with her best friend. She nods and is thankful when he doesn't say anything else.
And just like that the most stressful, emotionally draining play she is has ever seen comes to a close. The curtains close and then open again as the cast members filter from backstage to the spotlight once more. The crowd goes wild but she imagines it's mostly for them because their chemistry has made the performance compared to all the other actors. Unsurprisingly, they forget to call the costume designer to the stage. No one knows all the sacrifice she's made personally for this show, but she prefers for it to stay that way. She doesn't mind.
In the end her brother drifts off, and he comes over to her. He's so happy; cheeks flushed with excitement and satisfaction and he should be. They did so well.
"How was it, Janey?" He asks. "Be honest. Did I look like a major freak, or was it okay?" She has to smile. Freak? No. Perfection? Yes.
"You didn't look like a freak. You did look fantastic." She assures him, the way a best friend should. "You guys were amazing."
"Yeah well, you know it was all thanks to you. You and your perfect costumes, " He pinches her cheek between his thumb and forefinger. "And your generosity."
She has to look away at that. So he did know what she'd done. It figures. She'd never had a selfish bone in her body and he has known her for ten years. Even so, she doesn't exactly regret giving up the money. She's happy that everything has gone so well, just…curious as to when she'll be able to keep something good for herself. Like maybe, him? "Yeah. I guess."
"It's true. Don't worry Janey. We'll get you a down payment one of these days. A brand new car to take us anywhere and everywhere." He takes note of her slightly downcast expression, and although she doesn't see it, his face softens. She's suddenly enveloped in his familiar embrace, nose buried in his shoulder where the remnants of his spicy cologne flood her senses. She hugs him back and sighs, still amazed at his ability to always make her feel just a little bit better.
A few moments pass however and the embrace doesn't end. She makes to remove herself but his arms tighten around her waist like a vice, and he murmurs something in her hair. It takes a moment but her brain translates it "don't move," so she doesn't. Instead Jane relaxes and allows herself to succumb to the impossible daydream that her best-friend could become something more. She folds into him and sinks her fingers into the fabric of his suit coat and thinks perhaps that his deliciously soft sigh near her ear is real.
But, like usual, reality has to ruin it.
"Billy? They want us to take a picture for the paper!" Zoey calls, and the two of them are four feet apart before Jane can blink. She can't bring herself to meet his eyes, so instead hers memorize the wood floor. She doesn't see the way he bites his lip, the fleeting emotions that pass through his blue eyes before he begins to back away.
"I'll see you later, Jane." He says, and she nods and pretends to smile. Who knew wood flooring could be so interesting? She shouldn't have to hide her expression from him, from her best friend. But she does because it's best for the both of them. She always does what's best.
"See ya later, Billy."
He's gone a few seconds later, taking the hand of his princess and smiling into the lense of a camera. She turns to go and doesn't bother to stick around. It's not Jane Quimby style. She'll go home with Ben (completely alone, but not really) and she'll pretend everything is alright. She will climb between cold sheets and rest while the other cast members party the night away.
On Monday morning her smile will blind everyone in the hallways.
She has come to terms with the way things will always be. She is not a princess and Billy is most certainly not her prince charming.
She will always be an extra.
jane quimby rocks my world.
review.