Who Wants to Be a Millionare -- Super Sized!
by Michael Segekihei
DISCLAIMER: I don't own SSBM, WWTBAM, ABC, Syndication, or much else, for that matter. I own me, though. YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME! ...Ahem. Also, the co-host is a fictional character. Any resemblance to a real person, living or dead, is probably sub-consiously activated.
A/N: It's another fic from .Seg Inc, and this one is inspired by Ultimate TH. Where she is, we may never know. But she made one damn good fic.
---===~~~===---
(An empty stage. It's set up like the WWTBAM? stage. Use your imagination. Suddenly, the entire stage moves downward. It falls out of view like a piece of paper falling. The camera now shows the exact same stage, except with the Fastest Finger seats filled by contestants. The host is standing in the middle. He's in a generic navy blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and black Sketchers shoes. He has his trademark Nintendo GameCube watch on his wrist and is in his teens.)
Michael Segekihei (Michael): I was wondering how long we could do that.
(The co-host walks out from behind him. She's got a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and white Nike sneakers.)
Lisa Mokai (Lisa): (clicks a button on a stopwatch) 3 hours, 14 minutes, and 42 seconds.
Michael: Thank you Ms. Punctual.
Lisa: You're welcome Mr...um...
Michael: Anyway...we're here to present to you, loyal viewers--
Lisa: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ON RACE TO THE LINE?
Michael: --the following show, called Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?!
Lisa: The writing department had their pay docked for unoriginality, don't worry!
(The writing department enters, stage left)
Writing Department: You what?
Michael: Docked your pay. Didn't you see the memo?
Writing Department: No, we didn't write it!
All but Writing Department: (sweatdrop)
Michael: ...get out.
(The writing department runs away in cowardice.)
Michael: So let's meet our ten contestants.
(Speakers blare and spotlights raise)
Contestant: (says something garbled in Japanese)
Lisa: (shoves Michael and angrily whispers to him) You hired him?!
Michael: (whispering back) Well, you try getting ten smashers!
Lisa: (still whispering) There's twenty-five of them!
Michael: (STILL whispering) ...shut up! (out loud) Anyway, our first contestant is Marth, from Altea!
Marth: (laughs, then speaks Japanese)
Lisa: (sigh) At LEAST have someone translate for him!
Michael: That's why our next contestant is here! Please welcome Mewtwo, from the Unknown Dungeon.
(Generic canned applause from the cardboard cutouts that are the audience.)
Mewtwo: Silence.
(The applause stops.)
Lisa: (whispering) How'd you get him on the show?
Michael: (whispering) Simple. I caught him.
Mewtwo: I go to the Unknown Dungeon for five minutes and I get shoved into a tiny little ball!
Lisa: (whispering) Lucky catch.
Mewtwo: I heard that.
Lisa: What're you gonna do about it, cat?
Michael: (holds forehead) Oh no...
Mewtwo: (deathly serious) What did you say?
Michael: (still holding forehead) Run, Lisa!
Mewtwo: You. Will. Be. Sorry.
Michael: (walks over to the camera and pokes a button)
Camera: (goes black)
(The screen cuts to a white screen that says "Technical Diffuculties" with a little Mario running around with a wrench and bubbles coming out of his head. A small caption at the bottom says "Copyright 2002 Ultimate TH".)
Computerized Voice: We are experiencing technical difficulties--actually, we're experiencing problems with our rating! We can't show you the fight, or we'd lose our PG rat--
(The screen cuts back to normal.)
Mewtwo: (lying twitching in a heap)
Lisa: (rubs her hands together, as if wiping off some dust) Who's next?
Michael: (shocked)
Marth: (shocked)
Contestants 3 through 10: (shocked)
Michael: Umm...let's move on.
Mewtwo: (magically gets better and returns to his podium)
Michael: Contestant three is Kirby from Popstar!
Kirby: Hungry...
Lisa: (throws him a cooler full of assorted food stuffs)
Kirby: FOOD!!!
Michael: All right, he's satisfied and probably quiet for a while. Next is Mario, from Mushroom Kingdom!
Mario: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, Mushroom Kingdom's king.
Lisa: And Mushroom Kingdom's prince, Luigi!
Luigi: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Mario and Luigi: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Michael: It's going to be a long day.
Lisa: Ten days. We're taping ten episodes and then if G4 renews us, we'll be doing more.
Michael: ...wait, G4?
(Pause. The G4 logo appears in the bottom right corner. Everyone looks at the network slug in surprise.)
Michael: That's...weird.
(Lisa pokes the slug.)
Slug: Ow!
Lisa: oO
Michael: Umm...next is number six, Link from Hyrule!
Link: (smiles, and thousands of pieces of paper are thrown at him)
Lisa: What are all those papers?
Michael: Animal Crossing trading codes.
Link: (reads one) Y9#NdyOkgASUaa
Sf8Oksb@WNgufP for a Jersey Barrier?
(A/N: The above code was from www.projecthyrule.com. It'll only work if your name is Link and your town is Hyrule. Now gimme my endorsement money!)
Michael: Moving along, number seven is Zelda, from Hyrule!
Zelda: (smiles and gets nothing thrown at her; instead, more papers are thrown at Link)
Link: $i(| |)/-\\/\/gZ! L33T!
Lisa: (pauses, and smacks Link)
Link: Sorry Dawg.
Lisa: (smacks Link)
Link: $i(|--
Michael: You must have found an on/off switch! (smacks Link)
Link: Sorry Dawg.
Lisa: You think everyone has one of those?
Michael: (smacks Lisa)
Lisa: |)/-\\/\/g, \/\/|_|ZZ/-\--
Michael: (smacks Lisa)
Lisa: Hey, it works! If only everyone on GameFAQs had one of those...
Michael: Even if they did, how would we hit it?
Zelda: A large extension pole?
Michael: (gives Zelda a badge saying "Ms. Obvious") Congradulations.
Zelda: Oh, than--(reads the badge) Hey!
Michael: Next is number eight, Fox from his Arwing.
Fox: Buh-zap buh-zap!
Lisa: What in the hell are you doing?
Fox: Trying to kill Falco.
Michael: ...
Lisa: Falco isn't here, Fox. (Idiot.)
Fox: NO! HE'S RIGHT THERE! (sucks thumb)
Michael: ...oookay let's move on. Number nine is Captain Falcon, from...wherever the hell he's from!
C. Falcon: Show me a movie!
Michael: ...oookay let's move on. Finally, number ten is--
Bowser: Me!
Lisa: (throws microphone at him)
Bowser: (falls backwards)
Michael: (slips Lisa a twenty) Thank you. Now, let's play...
Michael and Lisa: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!
(Speakers blare and spotlights go up)
Fox: Aaah!
Michael: Here is your fastest finger question...
List the following numbers in order from smallest to largest.
A. 656
B. 8349
C. -464
D. 1
(Everyone starts pushing buttons and generic music plays.)
Lisa: Okay, time is up! The correct order is...
C. -464
D. 1
A. 656
B. 8349
And the contestant who got it right first is...
(Zelda, Mewtwo, Kirby, and Marth's names are highlighted with Mewtwo's being the fastest.)
Michael: Mewtwo!
(Mewtwo teleports to the hotseat.)
Mewtwo: B. C. B. D. D. A. A. D. C. A. B. A. B. A. B. Can I go now?
Michael: (looks at the questions)
Lisa: (looks over his shoulder)
Michael: (throws the cards over his shoulder) Well, we're cutting taping short today!
Lisa: (cards fly in her face) Hey!
Michael: (gives the $1,000,000 check to Mewtwo) Well, enjoy.
Mewtwo: (sarcastic) I will.
Lisa: Wait! (grabs Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: Get off me.
Lisa: We need you to translate for us.
Mewtwo: Translate who?
(The following is in rapid fire whip pan camera shots)
Marth: (Japanese)
Mario: a-hehehehehe
Luigi: a-hehehehehe
C. Falcon: Show me a poo!
Fox: Buh-zap!
Mewtwo: I see your point.
(End rapid fire.)
Michael: Okay! (drags in a new chair for Mewtwo in addition to the two host chairs and the hot seat)
(buzzer sounds)
Lisa: Oh, and that's all the time for today. What a shame! Anyway, we'll see you next week on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!
Mario: a-heheheI DOhehe.
Luigi: a-heheheME TOOhehe.
Mewtwo: Idiots.
---===~~~===---
So, what did you think? Review me...pleeeease! They power my house! And it's cold outside! It's freezing!!! (ahem) Thank you.
by Michael Segekihei
DISCLAIMER: I don't own SSBM, WWTBAM, ABC, Syndication, or much else, for that matter. I own me, though. YOU CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME! ...Ahem. Also, the co-host is a fictional character. Any resemblance to a real person, living or dead, is probably sub-consiously activated.
A/N: It's another fic from .Seg Inc, and this one is inspired by Ultimate TH. Where she is, we may never know. But she made one damn good fic.
---===~~~===---
(An empty stage. It's set up like the WWTBAM? stage. Use your imagination. Suddenly, the entire stage moves downward. It falls out of view like a piece of paper falling. The camera now shows the exact same stage, except with the Fastest Finger seats filled by contestants. The host is standing in the middle. He's in a generic navy blue T-shirt, blue jeans, and black Sketchers shoes. He has his trademark Nintendo GameCube watch on his wrist and is in his teens.)
Michael Segekihei (Michael): I was wondering how long we could do that.
(The co-host walks out from behind him. She's got a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and white Nike sneakers.)
Lisa Mokai (Lisa): (clicks a button on a stopwatch) 3 hours, 14 minutes, and 42 seconds.
Michael: Thank you Ms. Punctual.
Lisa: You're welcome Mr...um...
Michael: Anyway...we're here to present to you, loyal viewers--
Lisa: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ON RACE TO THE LINE?
Michael: --the following show, called Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?!
Lisa: The writing department had their pay docked for unoriginality, don't worry!
(The writing department enters, stage left)
Writing Department: You what?
Michael: Docked your pay. Didn't you see the memo?
Writing Department: No, we didn't write it!
All but Writing Department: (sweatdrop)
Michael: ...get out.
(The writing department runs away in cowardice.)
Michael: So let's meet our ten contestants.
(Speakers blare and spotlights raise)
Contestant: (says something garbled in Japanese)
Lisa: (shoves Michael and angrily whispers to him) You hired him?!
Michael: (whispering back) Well, you try getting ten smashers!
Lisa: (still whispering) There's twenty-five of them!
Michael: (STILL whispering) ...shut up! (out loud) Anyway, our first contestant is Marth, from Altea!
Marth: (laughs, then speaks Japanese)
Lisa: (sigh) At LEAST have someone translate for him!
Michael: That's why our next contestant is here! Please welcome Mewtwo, from the Unknown Dungeon.
(Generic canned applause from the cardboard cutouts that are the audience.)
Mewtwo: Silence.
(The applause stops.)
Lisa: (whispering) How'd you get him on the show?
Michael: (whispering) Simple. I caught him.
Mewtwo: I go to the Unknown Dungeon for five minutes and I get shoved into a tiny little ball!
Lisa: (whispering) Lucky catch.
Mewtwo: I heard that.
Lisa: What're you gonna do about it, cat?
Michael: (holds forehead) Oh no...
Mewtwo: (deathly serious) What did you say?
Michael: (still holding forehead) Run, Lisa!
Mewtwo: You. Will. Be. Sorry.
Michael: (walks over to the camera and pokes a button)
Camera: (goes black)
(The screen cuts to a white screen that says "Technical Diffuculties" with a little Mario running around with a wrench and bubbles coming out of his head. A small caption at the bottom says "Copyright 2002 Ultimate TH".)
Computerized Voice: We are experiencing technical difficulties--actually, we're experiencing problems with our rating! We can't show you the fight, or we'd lose our PG rat--
(The screen cuts back to normal.)
Mewtwo: (lying twitching in a heap)
Lisa: (rubs her hands together, as if wiping off some dust) Who's next?
Michael: (shocked)
Marth: (shocked)
Contestants 3 through 10: (shocked)
Michael: Umm...let's move on.
Mewtwo: (magically gets better and returns to his podium)
Michael: Contestant three is Kirby from Popstar!
Kirby: Hungry...
Lisa: (throws him a cooler full of assorted food stuffs)
Kirby: FOOD!!!
Michael: All right, he's satisfied and probably quiet for a while. Next is Mario, from Mushroom Kingdom!
Mario: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Michael: Ladies and gentlemen, Mushroom Kingdom's king.
Lisa: And Mushroom Kingdom's prince, Luigi!
Luigi: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Mario and Luigi: (zoning out) a-hehehehehe.
Michael: It's going to be a long day.
Lisa: Ten days. We're taping ten episodes and then if G4 renews us, we'll be doing more.
Michael: ...wait, G4?
(Pause. The G4 logo appears in the bottom right corner. Everyone looks at the network slug in surprise.)
Michael: That's...weird.
(Lisa pokes the slug.)
Slug: Ow!
Lisa: oO
Michael: Umm...next is number six, Link from Hyrule!
Link: (smiles, and thousands of pieces of paper are thrown at him)
Lisa: What are all those papers?
Michael: Animal Crossing trading codes.
Link: (reads one) Y9#NdyOkgASUaa
Sf8Oksb@WNgufP for a Jersey Barrier?
(A/N: The above code was from www.projecthyrule.com. It'll only work if your name is Link and your town is Hyrule. Now gimme my endorsement money!)
Michael: Moving along, number seven is Zelda, from Hyrule!
Zelda: (smiles and gets nothing thrown at her; instead, more papers are thrown at Link)
Link: $i(| |)/-\\/\/gZ! L33T!
Lisa: (pauses, and smacks Link)
Link: Sorry Dawg.
Lisa: (smacks Link)
Link: $i(|--
Michael: You must have found an on/off switch! (smacks Link)
Link: Sorry Dawg.
Lisa: You think everyone has one of those?
Michael: (smacks Lisa)
Lisa: |)/-\\/\/g, \/\/|_|ZZ/-\--
Michael: (smacks Lisa)
Lisa: Hey, it works! If only everyone on GameFAQs had one of those...
Michael: Even if they did, how would we hit it?
Zelda: A large extension pole?
Michael: (gives Zelda a badge saying "Ms. Obvious") Congradulations.
Zelda: Oh, than--(reads the badge) Hey!
Michael: Next is number eight, Fox from his Arwing.
Fox: Buh-zap buh-zap!
Lisa: What in the hell are you doing?
Fox: Trying to kill Falco.
Michael: ...
Lisa: Falco isn't here, Fox. (Idiot.)
Fox: NO! HE'S RIGHT THERE! (sucks thumb)
Michael: ...oookay let's move on. Number nine is Captain Falcon, from...wherever the hell he's from!
C. Falcon: Show me a movie!
Michael: ...oookay let's move on. Finally, number ten is--
Bowser: Me!
Lisa: (throws microphone at him)
Bowser: (falls backwards)
Michael: (slips Lisa a twenty) Thank you. Now, let's play...
Michael and Lisa: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!
(Speakers blare and spotlights go up)
Fox: Aaah!
Michael: Here is your fastest finger question...
List the following numbers in order from smallest to largest.
A. 656
B. 8349
C. -464
D. 1
(Everyone starts pushing buttons and generic music plays.)
Lisa: Okay, time is up! The correct order is...
C. -464
D. 1
A. 656
B. 8349
And the contestant who got it right first is...
(Zelda, Mewtwo, Kirby, and Marth's names are highlighted with Mewtwo's being the fastest.)
Michael: Mewtwo!
(Mewtwo teleports to the hotseat.)
Mewtwo: B. C. B. D. D. A. A. D. C. A. B. A. B. A. B. Can I go now?
Michael: (looks at the questions)
Lisa: (looks over his shoulder)
Michael: (throws the cards over his shoulder) Well, we're cutting taping short today!
Lisa: (cards fly in her face) Hey!
Michael: (gives the $1,000,000 check to Mewtwo) Well, enjoy.
Mewtwo: (sarcastic) I will.
Lisa: Wait! (grabs Mewtwo)
Mewtwo: Get off me.
Lisa: We need you to translate for us.
Mewtwo: Translate who?
(The following is in rapid fire whip pan camera shots)
Marth: (Japanese)
Mario: a-hehehehehe
Luigi: a-hehehehehe
C. Falcon: Show me a poo!
Fox: Buh-zap!
Mewtwo: I see your point.
(End rapid fire.)
Michael: Okay! (drags in a new chair for Mewtwo in addition to the two host chairs and the hot seat)
(buzzer sounds)
Lisa: Oh, and that's all the time for today. What a shame! Anyway, we'll see you next week on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!
Mario: a-heheheI DOhehe.
Luigi: a-heheheME TOOhehe.
Mewtwo: Idiots.
---===~~~===---
So, what did you think? Review me...pleeeease! They power my house! And it's cold outside! It's freezing!!! (ahem) Thank you.