The Devil and I
.
.
"Yet each man kills the thing he loves. By each let this be heard. Some do it with a bitter look. Some with a flattering word. The coward does it with a kiss. The brave man with a sword."
- Oscar Wilde, The Ballad of Reading Gaol
.
.
TETSUYA
His temper was as burning red as his hair. His hits would always leave stinging red marks that soon became purple, decorating his white alabaster skin, and the blunette's tears and heart were as icy as his lover's glare.
Seijuurou wasn't himself. Again. Kuroko did not know how to deal with the man's abusive actions. He knew Seijuurou never meant it because the man who gave all those bruises and heartbreaks is not the rough but tender, loving man he knew. The man, standing in front of him with eyes void of love is not Akashi Seijuurou.
Seijuurou suffered from multiple personality disorder. Kuroko thought he could get through it, but it became harder day by day. Every morning, Seijuurou would wake up, cry and hug him. The sweet words of apologies left his lips in soft whispers between heavy sobs. Kuroko used to reply the red-haired man with soothing words filled with optimism and certainty for a better future, but, as months passed on like that, he stopped. He knew that, Seijuurou could never change. And he couldn't blame it on him nor anybody else.
It was inevitable.
Every night, Seijuurou would turn into another person. A devil. Those mismatched eyes of his became sadistic and nonchalant, leaving him to wonder; where had the man he loved go?
When Kuroko and the devil made love, it was empty. He felt numb and used. It was just rasping breaths and grasping hands. No chaste kisses, no warm touches and definitely, no looking into each other's eyes with a feeling of completeness wrapping them around. When he became teary-eyed, the devil became even more aggressive and excited.
Once it became too harsh, Kuroko would cry out and the futile words of, "Please, stop," left his swollen lips breathlessly. A mumble of irritation would be his reply, followed by. . .
Slap.
Sei-kun, it hurts so much. He thought.
SEIJUUROU
Some people woke up in the morning, feeling a tinge of optimism in their veins or groggy as hell, that they would rather just sleep till kingdom come, but, for Seijuurou it was an entirely different story.
Fear was the first thing he would feel, followed by a small piece of hope that he hadn't hurt his blue-eyed lover and then remorse mixed with anger, as he saw the angry red marks staring back at him, tauntingly. Kuroko's once lively eyes, were puffed red and dark bags were to be seen.
He closed his eyes and laid himself back. The hate he felt from somewhere in his heart, quickly dispersed and spread throughout his being. He hated it; the ruthless devil living within him. So damn much.
His eyes dared to look at Kuroko's form again.
"I'm sorry, Tetsuya," he wanted to say, but he felt so guilty that he became a tongue-tied, crying mess because he knew deep down that no amount of apologies would ever make up the suffering Kuroko went through each night.
SEIJUUROU
The mornings in most sweet couples' households at Teiko Apartment were either that of a joie de vivre atmosphere with the occasional serene, small talks and fleeting smiles or, a sombre and gloomy morning filled with unrelenting screams of pent up frustration and chaos, till it ends with a rough morning sex. Neither of said mornings ever happened in the Akashi household, instead it would be a morning in which the redhead sat on the sofa, a cup of hot chocolate held in his hand. His eyes often looked up from the cup to the ethereally beautiful bluenette whom sat with his knees up his chest, those pallid blue eyes he adored so much, looking out of the window.
The frail man looked like a caged bird and, it made Seijuurou's heart felt like it was tugged hard and pierced with a hundred, or even a thousand, small sharp needles. Not only because of how broken Kuroko looked, but, because of this tense and almost unbearable air that hung between them, that is slowly but surely separating them apart.
TETSUYA
Kuroko looked out of the window. Pallid blue eyes taking in the view of nature; birds perched on tree branches, leaves swaying with the wind's flow and of course, children, foolish yet innocent and naïve, playing about.
Carefree laughter filled the air outside.
He missed that.
Kuroko never blamed Seijuurou for his current morose state. It's not his fault, he reasoned. Never was and never will. Sei-kun would never ever do what the devil did, he thought.
Albeit, the first time they met – a time in which Seijuurou was truly himself – the man was stern with a touch of a mighty Emperor, he was soft with his touches, careful with his words and calm and collected than the bluenette ever was. Very different indeed from the man he is in the night.
Kuroko remembered precisely and vividly, how they were back then, before the hell's gate opened. Before him.
Their relationship used to be so strong, sturdy and seemingly unbreakable. When they looked into each other's eyes, as sappy as it sounds, Kuroko felt content. He was safe and sound in those slender yet strong arms. But, just like Seijuurou, he noticed it too;
They are now falling apart, bit by bit.
Had anyone ever ask of Kuroko if he ever attempted to run, he would say, "Yes," and he remembered it as clear as the sky on a blissful summer. It was the third of July, a day before the country of liberty's national day.
A night in which, the bluenette mustered up enough courage to bolt straight to the door and make his escape to his neighbour, Kagami's apartment room.
First knock, he could hear his lumbering footsteps from inside and the devil hastily making his way to Kuroko.
Second knock, Kagami finally opened just as the devil looked at him with eyes filled with such vehemence that he felt so much fear that it must be so apparent it made Kagami to stand in front of him.
Kuroko thought he was really safe. He really did. He thought that, the devil can't hurt him anymore. That his tribulation was finally over. But, he was very, very wrong.
With a simple swift movement, came down the red-haired giant, unconscious on the floor. Kuroko was taken aback, before he was pulled roughly into the devil's arms and thrown back into the hell he had once escaped.
"Tetsuya, that wasn't very nice of you. People who defy orders should be punished," those words left the devil's lips in a menacing tone and it stung him hard.
He knew what those 'punishments' are.
The next day when he woke up with bruises all over his body, he forced himself up and walked to the door, even though, it was excruciating. He needed to know what happened.
He wished he didn't.
Kagami, that idiotic red-haired glutton had been put into a coma. Even if he were to wake up again, his legs would be paralyzed and, it hurts Kuroko to know that.
Kagami loves playing basketball and now, because of him, he won't be able to play the sports he loves with all his heart.
Maybe, that's why he never tried to escape again. Kuroko thought, as he stared at his – is that even him? He looked awful and a complete mess – reflection on the panel.
He let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry, Kagami," he whispered.
His eyes looked down on the visible, yellow-ish bruise on his hand and closed those azure pools, solemnly.
It's better to be hurt than to hurt others.
Right?
TETSUYA
When the last ray of sunshine set, that is where Kuroko prepared himself mentally. He had nowhere to go.
He closed his eyes in habit, trying to find peace, but, only to find vivid memories of those untold nights replaying in his mind.
Those warm heterochromia pools of his beloved lover would soon be indifferent, malevolent and most of all, cold. He would be inhuman; shoving Kuroko for the most simplest of reasons, beating him up and spouting malicious words. After that, he would crouch down, a barely disguised apologetic smile on his face and force himself on Kuroko. When it's all over, the aftermath would come and haunt the bluenette; he would feel dirty and sinful.
However, that night was not of what he expected. He stood, in the small kitchen. Fear keeping him rooted and his eyes stared at the knife that the devil held. The devil's eyes were different than before; they held a look of tranquillity and almost seemed like Seijuurou's. But, Kuroko didn't buy it; he could feel something far more iniquitous in them.
"I always loved the colour of red," he started, looking at the knife in his hand, as if he were mesmerized by it.
"It seemed so sinful and forbidding, yet it is also the colour of love. Say, Kuroko? I think Sei-kun would love it too,"
Tears slid down Kuroko's cheeks and his legs felt like jell-O. He knew what was about to happen, so he wished himself and Seijuurou a prayer and closed his eyes, waiting. Some would say he is an inane person. But, how could he win a battle he would surely lose?
He was no longer that indomitable person instead, replaced with a despondent man.
TETSUYA
"I love you, Sei-kun."
SEIJUUROU
The birds usual chirping woke him from his dreamless reverie. A metallic tang reached his senses. That's when he saw it. Blood. Kuroko. Everywhere. The bed sheets, the pillow and most of all, Kuroko's bruised and frail body. A wicked note was stuck on Kuroko.
"I hope you like it, because I do," it read. He crumpled it. Damn you. Fuck you.
He felt lifeless and feeble and so, so angry. And the worst feeling was seeing the knife in his hands, covered in his blood.
He threw aside the knife with an anguish scream. He felt tormented. Shit. Shit. Shit. His mind was going crazy. His world is swirling and dragging him away from reality. He didn't want to face it, but, he had to.
He looked at Kuroko once more. He seemed to be glowing even with those bruises and cuts. He looked like he was finally in peace. And a sudden lethargic and warm feeling embraced itself around Seijuurou.
With tears running down his cheeks and trembling hands, he cupped Kuroko's pale face before he leaned down till their foreheads met.
"I love you."
.
.
"Tetsuya and Seijuurou, what a devastating end they have."
said a voice in his mind.
.
.
"Or, do they?"
TETSUYA
"S-sei-kun?"
END