Now ill tell you what i've done for you 50 thousand tears i've cried, Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you and you still wont hear me GOING UNDER. Don't want your hand this time ill save myself maybe ill wake up for once.
The song played in his room as loud as he could get it his dad wasn't home and he could care less what the neighbors thought, Jackson went to far to day usually he just just yells at him for looking at lydia but today was different.
"Hey Stilinski you know why your mom died she died because she had to take care of some little fuckup like you, she didn't die of cancer like you tell every one she killed herself Lydia's dads a lawyer I saw the file!" he spat at Stiles at the lunch table, stiles ran from the table crying. Danny hit Jackson in the head, lydia just glared death at him. "Fuck you Jackson!" Scott said while flipping him the bird while he ran of to find Stiles.
Scott looked all over the school even tried to hear him with his werehearing but he couldn't find him he went to the car park out side school but didn't see his jeep 'Stiles must have left i hope he's okay. Alison sher did look cute today in that blouse.' Scotts mind quickly changed
At home Stiles went to his night stand and pulled out an old jewelry box it was his mothers, he found it in the basement after his mother killed her self. In side the box was an array of sharp objects from razor blades pins and shards of glass, he picked up his two favorites a black pin and a pink razor blade.
He blared the music evan more waiting till the song looped back to the beginning hopping some one would come, maybe evan try to stop him maybe Scott or the betas or maybe a text from danny but nothing you he stuck the pin in his arm it stopped the physiological pain but wasn't enough rolled the sleeve up on his left wrist and grabbed the razor blade.
Stiles put the blade on his wrist next to barely visible scar's and thrust his hand lightly, he counted to four and thats when little beads of blood started showing up. He cut a few more times, choked sobs threatening to break free as the blood pooled on the floor beside him. At least now Stiles didn't feel useless. The feelings of being just another pathetic human weren't slamming around in his mind. His mother's beautiful laugh the hour before she jumped didn't haunt his mind. It was just the rush he was feeling, the sounds of his blood slowly dripping down his wrists
Stiles felt great he waited a minute then he got up and walked to the kitchen down stairs got some salt out of the cupboards and waited a moment hopping some one would care but again nothing he threw the salt at his cuts and screamed when he felt the burn he felt alive and not pathetic.
Stiles was still bleeding and thinking about The feeling of not being good enough, the feeling that he did more harm than good. It wasn't the boy who felt unwanted. It was just him. Just Stiles. At that point there was no use in trying to hold back the tears. The sounds of his sobs filled the room around him.
Maybe if he wasn't so much of a coward every time he'd resort to doing this, he'd just cut a little deeper and do the world a favor. Get it all over when Stiles started to see black in his vision couldn't see any thing then just fell on the island in the kitchen then fell back and hit his head.