DISCLAIMER: Ranma ½ is not mine nor are the characters these characters and ideas belong to Rumiko Takahashi (:
Darkness takes over.
Dear diary,
Baka.. ranma is a baka. Always tormenting me and making fun of how I look. Doesn't he understand how badly this effects me? How I feel as though I'm empty, like I'm always last. The ugly stupid tomboy. Never good enough for him. For anyone… theres this darkness I've been feeling.. like I'm being sucked into an empty void, only to find out I AM that void.. I'm like a black hole I just take in whatever comes around… no one knows where it leads.. except me. It leads to no where but pain.. I don't know what to do anymore. Ranma doesn't understand… no one understands do I just grin and bare it like usual? Accept im some stupid tomboy who will never catch a husband? How does someone except that.. ranma. Is. A. senseless. JERK. Yet.. how come I feel numb.. worthless…that baka is the cause for this..
Whatever.. I hate myself.. and my life but what can I do about it? Nothing cause im some slow poke with no skill, or attractiveness right?
-akane. :/
Akane shut her diary, and sat on her bed trying to breath, and feel as though she were still living. she's at her limits. Why is ranma such a JERK.. he can just go live with one of his 'cute' fiancées and get out of my life.. she thought.
Hot tears were welling up in her eyes, she couldn't deal with all this anymore. "stop crying akane.. don't be such a coward" she said aloud to herself. But she couldn't help it. He tears came flowing and she let out a loud cry of pain and sorrow, she didn't care if everyone would come running up the stairs wondering what was wrong. She just wanted to feel… like she wasn't empty anymore. "im so useless and stupid.." she cried, how can I deal with this pain? HOW DO I LET IT OUT WITHOUT HAVING TO CRY?, she noticed a sharp blade broken off of her fathers sword. Not a long blade just the tip of what was once a beautiful sword. She began to think I've heard , that self harm is what people do to let out pain and prove to themselves they aren't numb. She felt numb she wasn't even sure if she came back to life since jusendo. Maybe the past 8 months have been a dream and she didn't come back from jusendo.. she had to find out, she pick up the little piece of the blade and looked down on her left wrist. Alright Akane . not to deep just nice and slow. Prove that your not truly frozen in this numb state.
Swiftly she made a small cut in her wrist. Small but a deep one. It was bleeding like crazy " AHH" she cried out in pain it was a deep stinging sensation it burned at her skin. At least I'm alive.. She got up to rush to the washroom to clean her self-inflicted wound. The pain seemed.. somewhat amazing. She didn't know what it was but she wanted that pain again. Baka.. no you cant. You've proven to yourself your alive. Just go clean the stupid cut, and get on with your life. So she did just that she cleaned and bandaged her left wrist and went down stairs.
Stupid Akane. No matter how Ranma tried he couldn't get the day out of his mind, how she tripped over her bag and bumped into him and shoved him into the canals water. How he insensitively yelled his rude comments at her clumsy-ness. why'd she have'ta run off without helping me out of the water. Stupid tomboy. Clutz.
"AHH" Ranma heard Akane scream. This was his second time hearing her scream in what seemed to be pain. Yet he just tried to not be worried and act as though he didn't care. But he did. Baka what'd she do now? He heard her shuffle around to what seemed to be the bathroom. Then he heard her coming down the stairs. He slightly turned his head to get a glimpse of her. She had a bag on and looked like she was going somewhere. She didn't even look at him. Her eyes are puffy.. what happened? Was she.. crying? He gave one more glance at her and saw her left wrist. Was bandaged but you could see blood seeping through the bandages.
He shot up, not being able to help that he was worried. And grabbed her left wrist. "OWWWWW" she screamed in what seemed to be immense pain he just stared at her worried. "Akane what happened. Why is your wrist bandaged?" His grip didn't loosen even though she pulled and tugged. "let go." She said. Not yelling for once just stern serious tone. "akane who did this to you?" Ranma asked not hiding his concern at all. He saw her eyes begin to well up with tears " THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER HURTS ME IS YOU RANMA SO GEUSS WHO DID IT!" and at that she stormed out the door cradling her wrist which now hurt very much because of how tightly ranma was holding it.
I did that? I haven't talked to her since she made me fall into the damn canal! HOW THE HELL COULD I DO THAT?
His anger completely diminished his concern " FINE YOU STUPID TOMBOY. EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO BE NICE!"
That jerk… even when he could see I was in pain he still said.. those things.. why ? WHY IS LIFE SO DAMN HARD?
Akane was running to the bridge that overlooked the big pool of water…she just stared down.. not sure what to do.
Jump just jump down and die. Then everyone would be happy she thought. She put her bag down removed her coat and climbed the rail. Whats happened to me ? how did things get so bad to a point where I just didn't wanna be here anymore? Whatever. I'm leaving. And im leaving now. Then she noticed a boy with a pigtail and a Chinese red shirt run down the street. He followed me? After all that bullshit he said? Baka. This is HIS fault. She heard one scream " AKANE WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" and jumped. She closed her eyes prepared for the impact. But all she felt was the warm pool water surround her body and slowly drag her down. She opened her eyes and saw that ranma had jumped into the pool. He didn't change into a girl for some odd reason, oh its warm water in here isn't it? She thought calmly. Ranma had his arm extended out towards her limp almost lifeless body. Good bye. She thought. Then everything went black.
End of chapter 1
Authors notes: hello guys this is my FIRST fan-fic and I have always thought of what pain ranmas words could of caused her. So I decided to play that out a lot in this cause I think if you think about it every girl would be upset.. so I was wondering why wouldn't akane be? Anyways I really had fun making this short beginning helped me kind of set off a start its not perfect I know but im still an amateur and I am in the course of writing a second chapter Im not sure how long this little series will be cause the plans I have for this story are quite… different from the series. Instead of there being a jealous worried akane, I was thinking more along the lines of a jealous ranma but im not gonna give too much of a hint on that don't wanna give the story away.. anyways I hope you enjoy it ! email me at : moni_1999-01 if you have any questions. !