Written by writtendead
Dealing with grief.
Fanfiction based of the rooster teeth web series: RWBY
Chapter. 1
Looking upon HER grave I stood not knowing whether or not to cry. I had never thought anything like this would happen sure I knew one day seeing as for assignments we fight grimm but not today during our 1st year at the academy, but now SHE's gone and now I'm here now thinking god dammit I should of know SHE felt that way it was all there' and now I can't do anything about it. Sitting, standing, lying down all things we did together and now SHE's going to lie down forever whilst I go and fight on HER honor I won't I could never forget HER smile, her radiant smile. I miss HER so much and it's only been a day what am I supposed to do, ruby tries to help and comfort me seeing as she did lose penny because of HER but it's not the same it was an accident and I can't even bare to say HER name but SHE can't be dead can SHE no SHE's not dead not to me not ever I love HER too much at least now I should of known.
Chapter. 2
My heart aches again and I guess this blog kind of helps but none of you understand. The pain is almost too much to handle if only I had stopped HER from going up there it's all my fault isn't it, yes yes it is, SHE left because I didn't know how SHE felt one last chance SHE had and SHE decided to use it to tell me that SHE loved me and SHE said nothing and everything. Before we left I may of stolen Qrows flask it was empty but now well it's still empty but it was full many times I could be drunk right now and you wouldn't know would youu but I really miss HER yes we didn't get together I should of done something to show HER that I cared a lot about HER I think I did really love HER and I don't know what I'll do without HER our kiss was so amazing but now now SHE's gone and well SHE's just gone and I know SHE won't come back but SHE needs to other wise maybe I'll do something to see HER.
Chapter. 3
Weeks since SHE 'left' and I still stand alone in my mind and heart but we are no longer in vale, haven is our new home here with Ruby, Nora and Ren. We all transferred after the school was torn apart we are all looking for answers all not known to the other but our classes are fun I guess but it's still not the same I can't express how I feel about this, my heart feels like it's been shot through with 3 arrows but didn't really happen to me now did it. Nothing feels right any more why did SHE have to kiss me and push me into that locker before SHE left how could SHE I thought she cared. Ozpin didn't explain anything to us that we didn't already know besides how Cinder conjured up all that red glass and why SHE had to go into that chamber or why that girl got shot through that glass all he said that HER and Penny died saving us all but it's not true they didn't save Ruby's heart or mine why did SHE kill Penny and why did SHE…. Why did SHe …. Why did She have to be the strong brave one why couldn't SHE just stay with me and not leave me like this? It's just not fair and I know that Penny is gone to but her and Ruby were only friends we could have been together but now we can't. What if I quit drinking will SHE then come back on please I just want HER back.
Chapter. 4
Living without HER now is tough on all of us I guess Nora lost one of her only friends seeing as none of us have made any new ones yet but you know we just lost our best friend Ren says I'm going through the 5 stages of grief but I don't think so. But I have been talking to the haven councilor and she thinks that I need to
1. Stop drinking
2. Remember that SHE isn't coming back
3. Talk to my team about this seeing as I am there leader
The hardest of them all.
4. Say HER name
But I'm not ready and I may never be. So I did all I could out of what SHE told me to do I did stop drinking because I wanted to and they kind of banned me from all the bars took my ID -for now- and gave Qrow back his flask but it was completely my choice. I still miss HER apparently to Nora I have depression she searched it up but my life has been pretty good I'm no longer the bottom of my classes but it's still lonely and but I guess thinking about it, HER death isn't my fault SHE did what SHE wanted to do and I have to live with that while SHE doesn't live just the other day I thought about all the good times we had together the dance, the food fight, flower power/arkos and how could I forget our first meeting. For a long time now I have been isolating myself and people think I don't know but I do I'm not dumb I'm smarter then they think and I that's what I have been doing thinking about her. We haven't gotten any answers though but I don't think I need them anymore I just need a new scroll.
Chapter. 5
I lost a lot of hope then but now I things are looking up and its no longer upsetting well of course I feel sad and bad but not as much as before Nora, Ren and Ruby say I'm much better apparently this is the final stage of grief Ruby's doing better too I now realize I don't talk about or to her that much but she's not that upset when anyone uses money -don't tell her but that was funny- dealing with HER death was pretty hard but they are both in a better place all I wish I could say to HER was that I love HER, that I always will goodbye Pyrrha…