A/N: Depressing, depressing, depressing. Oh yeah, this is based off of the song Stan by Eminem.
Dear Shawn,
I wrote you but you still ain't calling. I left my cell and my home phone at the bottom. I wrote you two letters back in autumn, but you must not have got them. There was a probably a problem at the post office or something… Sometimes I scribble things to messy… but screw it. How's your daughter? I'm pregnant too; I'm gonna be a mother soon. And if a I have a son? Guess what I'm gonna call him? I'm gonna name him Shawn. I know you hear this every day; but I'm your biggest fan. I even saw all the old matches you did with AWA. Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back, just to chat.
Truly yours, your biggest fan,
This is Julia.
The letter looked perfect. I was definitely ready to mail this out. I hope he gets this.
{***}
Three weeks and still no word. I was slowly losing my mind.
Dear Shawn,
You still haven't call or wrote… I hope you get a chance; I'm not mad, I just think it's fucked up that you don't answer fans. If you didn't wanna talk to me outside your house show, you didn't have to, but you could've signed an autograph for Caylin… That's my little sister man, she's only six years old. We waited in the blistering cold for you, four hours and you just said, "No." That's pretty shitty man. You're her freaking idol. Sometimes I think she loves you more than I do. I'm not mad though… I just don't like being lied to. Remember when we met in Boston? You said if I write you, you'd right back… Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds. It's like adrenaline, the pain is such a sudden rush for me… My boyfriend's jealous because I talk about you twenty four/seven… You gotta call me man, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose
Sincerely yours, Julia.
P.S.
We should be together too.
Honestly, if he didn't write back soon… I don't know what I'll do.
"Jules… just let it be. You don't even know him, is it really gonna change your life if he writes you back?" Mike muttered. He rubbed my shoulders. I stiffened at his touch. "You've been like this since you met this faggot. I miss the old you."
I snapped my head around and gave him the coldest look I could. "He's not a faggot. And if you think this is a new me, you're dreaming. I've always been this way… hopelessly in love with Shawn Michaels."
His eyes darkened. "Fine. I hope this homo does write back and sets you straight. You'll never be with him, just get over yourself." He got up and walked out of the room.
I folded the letter and slipped it inside the envelope. Mike was wrong… he would write me back…. He promised. I know he will.
{***}
"Dear Mister I'm-too-good-to-call-or-write-my-fans,
This will be the last package I EVER send your ass. It's been six months and still no word? Don't you think I deserve it? I know you got my last two letters; I wrote the addresses on them PERFECT. So this cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it. I'm in the car right now, I'm doing 90 on the freeway. I pulled a you and got drunk out my mind. You know the Eminem song 'Stan' about the biggest fan the Slim never wrote back and he could have saved by writing him back? That's kinda like how this is… You could have saved me by writing me back… Now it's too late, I'm drowsy and all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call…
I hope you know I ripped ALL of your pictures off the wall. I love you Shawn, we could've been together, think about it. You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you SCREAM about it. I hope your conscience EATS AT YOU and you can't BREATHE without me See Shawn?" I was cut off by screaming, escaping from the back of my Honda… coming from Mike. "Shut up Asshole! I'm trying to talk! Hey Shawn, that's my boyfriend screaming in the trunk… Well, gotta go, I'm almost at the bridge now." I paused remembering something. "Oh shit, I forgot, how am I supposed to send this shit out?"
I couldn't stop the car and went straight through the fence. My car plummeted straight down into the water. Screams escaped from both mine and Mike's throat. Water began to fill the car, covering my face.
I inhaled the water, when I was out of breath. Water filled my lungs, I was dying and it was coming quick.
Did this man even fucking deserve me? Look what he did to me… I just fucking killed my boyfriend and now myself. And my baby...
Well I hope he's happy.
"I love you Mike." I tried to say, underneath the water. I touched my stomach and the car still sunk. I closed my eyes.
{H*B*K}
Dear Julia,
I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy with retirement… You said you're pregnant now, how far along are you? Look, I'm really flattered you would call your son that, and here's an autograph for your sister, I wrote it on the Starter cap. I'm sorry I didn't see you at the show, I must of missed you.. Don't think I did that intentionally, just to diss you. But what's this shit you said about you like to cut your wrists too? I did that when I didn't know what was going on with myself. C'mon - how messed up is you? You got some issues Julia, I think you need some counseling, to help yourself from bouncing off the walls when you get down. And what's this about us 'meant to be together'?I'm married Julia and you have a boyfriend that probably really cares about you.. I really think you and your boyfriend need each other… or maybe you just need to treat him better. I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time, before you hurt yourself. I think that you'll be doing just fine if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you. But Julia… why are you so mad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan, I just don't want you to do some crazy shit. I seen this one thing on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick. Some girl was drunk and drove her car over a bridge while she was pregnant with a boy and had her boyfriend in the trunk. And in the car they found a tape, but they didn't say who it was to…
Come to think about, her name was… It was you.
I crumpled up the paper. "Damn." I mumbled, letting a tear escape.