My Heart in Your Hands
Summary: After Rafe walks up to them being sweet and intimate and blows up. This is what I think should have happened.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and I do not make any profit from this.
A/N: Ok this was the other story my fairy has been beating me with her wand over. As I've told you before I think she has ADD and can't just keep to a few things at once. What can I say we all know she is a fickle creature, so here it is. Starts in the scene after Olivia and Emma leave. Cannon until it's not.
Chapter 1
Rafe stood and just stared at her in disbelief. "I don't believe it… I can't beli… I refuse to believe this. Just tell me what she has on you."
Natalia shook her head. "Rafe she doesn't have anything…"
He looked to her begging. "You don't love her."
"I do…"
"No not that way. I get that she has Gus's heart and you got confused, one thing lead to another and she took advantage of you." He was grasping at anything to make things make sense to him.
Natalia threw her hands up in exasperation, "No that's not what this is. She didn't take advantage of me Rafe please. Olivia has a strong personality but that's part of what I love about her. She makes me feel better about myself. Nothing feels right if I'm not with her, I need her." She was almost to the point of begging, she needed him to understand.
He paused collecting himself before continuing. "Maybe you did need her with Gus dying and me being gone but I am here now and I can be all you need again and you can end this before it gets weirder please ma."
She shook her head again. "It's not weird Rafe its love and I don't want to end it. I want us to be a family. I understand that's a lot for you to take in right now but as soon as you calm down and get over your confusion and anger you will see…"
He grabbed his chest dramatically like the whole thing was hurting his heart. "You want us to be a family? What me you Emma and Olivia, are you serious?"
Natalia stepped forward with conviction taking his hands in hers. "Yes, yes I'm serious. You love Emma and she loves you like you're her big brother and that's what counts. Olivia loves me and she loves you. That's what you hold on to because without love the world is a much darker place."
He pulled away pacing. "What about all the years we spent in church and all the time we spent lighting candles and on our knees praying? What about the man I'm supposed to be and the world I'm supposed to live in? That means nothing to you! All you care about it Olivia!"
"It means everything to me. I have taught you not to judge people and to listen to the teachings of the church but I have also taught you that those are not always right. God is love mijo; it would be a sin to throw away a love that God has gifted me with."
He just continued to shake his head. "This isn't the same. You felt you had to hide this from me and the church says that it's wrong…"
She stepped toward him determined for him to get it. "The church said that is was wrong for me to keep you too but I didn't listen then and I'm not listening now. What Olivia and I have is real, it's honest and it's pure. We didn't tell you before this because you have been through so much and we wanted you to have time to settle in before we added more on you."
She took a breath and took his hands again. "God gave me this love; just like he gave me you and I will not turn my back on his blessings to me. I didn't then and I'm not now."
He pulled his hands away roughly and slammed them on the fence post beside him. "All you care about is her; you don't even care about how I feel about this. You need to just go, go get your girl and both of you can go to hell because that's where you're going anyway."
Her head snapped up and she stood her ground and looked at him with a fire in her eyes that he had never seen as she stepped forward speaking with steel in her voice. "That's enough, You stop right there because after everything I have done for you your whole life and after everything you have put me through since your father died you have no right to talk to me that way and absolutely no room to judge me."
He stood frozen as she took a breath to calm herself. "I love you and I would lay down my life for you but I refuse to stand here and let you treat me this way. All you care about is yourself and what you want or don't want. Have you even thought of me and all I've been through in my life? I deserve to have a life of my own. You are an adult and you're growing up soon you will be living your own life away from me. I deserve to have the same and I should be allowed to love and be loved. You told me you just wanted me to be happy and she makes me happy mijo."
He finally found his voice again but it was quiet, "Yes I know I said that but not with her ma."
Natalia looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "You don't get to decide what makes me happy or dictate who I love. It doesn't work that way Rafe. My being with her doesn't hurt you in any way. In fact it only benefits you as it gives you more people in your life that love you. You asking me to give her up causes me so much hurt and pain… it's not fair of you to do that to me and ask me to give up my heart." Her voice broke and she got choked up on the last sentence and she was now close to tears but she was not backing down.
He stood there just staring at her for a long time. "I just… I can't be here… I need to think…"
Before she could even respond he was off like a shot down the drive and out on the road. She collapsed where she was on to the grass and cried. She didn't know what else to do. She thought it would be a lot for him to take in but she never in her wildest dreams thought he would tell her to go to hell.
She sat there, tears streaming alternating watching the sun set and the road hoping her would come back so they could talk. When it was really starting to get dark she got up and made her way to the house. She cleaned up from their failed dinner and sat on the couch to pray. She really didn't know what else to do. Around 9:00 she got a text from Frank telling her that Rafe showed up at his place and was spending the night and asked what happened. She thanked him for letting her know and ignored his question. She now knew where her son was and that he was safe.
She held her phone for a moment then pressed the speed dial almost sobbing when she heard her voice. "Hello."
Natalia took a deep breath trying to compose herself. "Hi."
Olivia frowned hearing the tears in her voice. "Are you ok honey?"
Natalia's voice caught on a sob. "Can you bring Emma home and spend the night here with me? Rafe is staying in town… I need you."
Olivia was up and packing a bag in a heartbeat. "I'll be there as soon as I can. Do you need anything?"
"Just you, you and Emma home where you belong."
Olivia smiled sadly. "We're on our way just hang in there for a little longer baby. I'm coming."
Natalia sighed calming a bit. "Just hurry, please."
Olivia finished with her bag zipping it up. "I'm am baby, I promise."
With that they hung up the phone and Olivia rushed around gathering their things and waking Emma. They made it to the farmhouse in record time and Natalia met them at the door scooping up a very excited and sleepy Emma in her arms.
Emma snuggled into her shoulder. "Mommy said we get to sleep here tonight. Does that mean I can have banana pancakes for breakfast?" She yawned as she spoke her eyes drooping.
Natalia just held her close and smiled. "Of course my baby, I'll make you whatever you want for breakfast but for now why don't you go up to your room and get in bed. I'll be up in a second to tuck you in."
Emma nodded as she was set down and grabbed her bag heading inside and up to her room. Natalia turned back to Olivia and was instantly wrapped in her arms. "That bad huh?
Natalia just burrowed in. "Yes, after I tuck Emma in I'll tell you what happened."
Olivia kissed her head and squeezed her one last time before releasing her. "Ok, I'll make some coffee while you settle the Bean in bed."
Giving her a grateful smile she went up to tuck Emma in while Olivia sat her bag by the stairs and continued on into the kitchen to make coffee.
She was just sitting down on the couch with two cups of coffee when Natalia made her way back down. "Hey, did she go down ok?"
Natalia smiled and sat taking her cup. "Yes, she was just very excited to be home in her bed but she fell asleep quickly."
She sat back on the couch leaning into Olivia and sighed. "Thank you for coming."
Olivia shifted and put an arm around her pulling her closer. "There is nowhere I would rather be honey. You called and said you needed me. Of course I'm here. Now, you want to tell me what happened and where our son is."
Natalia teared up again and told her everything. "Frank text me earlier and let me know he was safe at his house for the night. Then I called you to come home."
Olivia shook her head. "I'm so sorry baby. I thought he may have a hard time at first but that is extreme. Are you sure we should be here? What if he comes home in the morning and finds us here. I don't want to be the reason you lose your son. Maybe we should take a step back and…"
Natalia took her face in her hands and effectively shut her up by gently laying their lips together. Olivia was shocked at first but quickly melted into their first real kiss. Natalia slid their lips together and ran her tongue along Olivia's top lip begging entrance that was quickly granted. They moaned in unison at their first taste of each other and slowly, reverently explored each other's mouths. They pulled apart panting lightly when the need for air was too much to ignore.
Resting her forehead to Olivia's Natalia smile and kissed her nose lightly. "I don't want to take a step back Liv, I want to move forward. The only thing this changes is now that Rafe knows we can stop hiding. I love you so much and like I told you today I want what every other couple in love has."
Olivia smiled and chastely kissed her again not able to resist. "Are you sure you're ready for that honey? All the talk and whispers."
"I am positive I am ready. The only thing stopping me before was needing Rafe to know first. I want you to come home. You and Emma belong here and it isn't fair to her or you not to be able to come home. I'm sorry I stopped it before when you came back from seeing Ava. I should have brought you both home then but I was still a little scared."
Olivia stroked her cheek. "You're not scared anymore?"
Natalia chuckle, "I'm terrified but my need to have my family under one roof is greater than my fears."
Olivia sighed. "How can you do that? If you bring us home he will just leave."
"No he won't, he can't stay anywhere else, he doesn't have a choice. It is court ordered that he live at this residence for one year."
Olivia looked apprehensive. "I'm not sure forcing this on him is a good idea."
Natalia shook her head. "No, I think if he just sees us living our day to day lives he will eventually understand. He will at least be respectful and won't cause a scene around Emma. He loves her too much to be openly hostile and upset her. I honestly think he just needs time to see how well we work and if we don't force it he will keep himself from it purposefully."
Olivia thought for a moment and nodded. "If that's what you want I'll do it. I can call the movers and have it all brought as soon as tomorrow. We never unpacked, it just never felt right."
Natalia leaned in and kissed her again sweetly. "That's what I want. I need you home baby please. Tomorrow is perfect and I'll give Rafe a few days at Franks to calm down a bit them talk to him Sunday night and bring him home."
Olivia sighed and leaned back into the couch bringing her with her. "I just hope we're not pushing him too hard too fast. I don't want him to hate me any more than he already seems too."
Natalia snuggled into her with her head on her chest listening to her heart beat. "I know our son, he just needs to see it to understand that it's good and believe it's true."
Olivia just nodded and settled in holding her close. After a while Natalia yawned snuggling in closer for a moment before standing up and reaching a hand to help Olivia up as well. "It's been a long day, why don't we head up to bed honey?"
Olivia took her hand and stood. They went through the house turning off the coffee pot and locked up then Olivia grabbed her bag as they headed up. She stopped in front of her old door only to be pulled into Natalia and kissed softly but passionately.
Natalia nipped her bottom lip then released it. "Will you sleep with me tonight? I'm not completely ready for more yet but I really need to sleep in your arms tonight."
Olivia smiled brightly. "I would like nothing more than to hold you all night love. It will be my pleasure."
Natalia pecked her lips once more and pulled her into her room. They took turns in the bathroom preparing for bed. When Natalia came out Olivia was standing by the bed and looked up at her. "Which side do you want?"
Natalia shrugged, "It really doesn't matter but I usually sleep on the side closest to the window."
Olivia smiled. "Good I usually sleep as far from the window as possible. I hate the sun in the morning."
She climbed into bed and held open her arms as Natalia slid in beside her. Natalia reach over turning off the bedside light then snuggled down in Olivia's arms with her head on her chest once again listening to her heart.
With a light kiss to the scar she felt beneath the shirts she sighed and melted into her. "Thank you, this feels so good."
Olivia chuckled. "Oh sweetheart I promise it is not a hardship for me. I would hold you like this forever if I could."
Natalia smiled. "Well, how about just at night? I think it may be awkward during the day while we're trying to work."
They both laughed and settled in. Olivia kissed her head and sighed in contentment. "Goodnight angel."
Natalia groggily answered back. "Good night baby, I love you."
"I love you too." Olivia closed her eyes and let sleep take her.
Tomorrow they would get them move back in and figure out what to do about their son but tonight they were content in each other's arms.
A/N: Ok there is this one. Let me know what you think and if I should continue. Is one of my new ones better than the other or should I just do them both?