Just Give Me A Reason
Chapter One
Nessarose was gone, so was her father, her mother, Doctor Dillamond, and now even Fiyero was dead too. Elphaba Thropp was a cursed woman, everyone she loves was torn from her. Everything she had ever fought for was tainted, tarnished from her original ideas. All she had ever wanted was to free the Animals, for them to have the rights that they deserved. For them to not be hunted, caged or eaten. She had cared deeply for her teacher before he was fired from his place at Shiz and taken away by the wizard's men. That poor little lion cub she had tried to free before that had been all messed up as well. Before the wizard had made her a hated wicked witch, all she had wanted to do was make things better for everyone. She had been so very young, so passionate, and so stupid to think that she had a chance against those odds. All she had done was make things worse for everyone involved. If she hadn't tried to fix the world then Fiyero wouldn't have come after her, wouldn't have tried to save her from the guards and he would still be alive. No good deed goes unpunished.
Elphie cried bitter tears over her spell book for the man she loved so deeply and through a freak accident of the heart actually loved her back in return. If only she had left with him and not tried to save her sister from the vision she had seen. They could have escaped to his castle and lived out their lives together happily. Married, had children, she could for once in her life have been truly happy.
Now she was doomed back to the loneliness that had surrounded her for her entire life. After a brief shining few moments in his arms. Not enough, it could never be enough. His sensual kisses, his strong embrace, his tender touch. No one had ever treated her like a real person before him. Everyone had been too repulsed by the color of her skin, the sharpness of her tongue.
Sure they had hated each other at first, that was perfectly normal. She had never been quite sure what had changed between them the day they saved the cub. That simple touch of his hand that had rocked both of their worlds. She had assumed that it was just on her side until he brought her flowers and come to see her off to see the wizard. Shame that day hadn't been everything they had expected it to be. That cute boyish grin so unsure, so insecure, so unlike his usual self that she could never forget that day.
Elphaba Thropp wasn't herself anymore, normally she could be so strong. Never letting anyone know she was hurting, that was before she had allowed herself to feel anything. Before those stolen kisses, those long nights of passion in his arms. She had given herself freely to a man that was now gone. How could she carry on after the loss?
Desperate for a piece of the past to cling onto Elphie had become fixated on her dead sisters shoes, the parting gift her father had given her sister when they had gone to school. The kind of gift she had never been given, but that blasted child had stolen them for her own evil schemes. She had seen red, attacked the girl locking her in the dungeon until she gave them up. Elphaba had never been cruel before, but lost in the insanity of grief she tortured that small child trying to get a small piece of her home back. The shoes however seemed to be welded to her feet, a side effect of the spell no doubt. Magic never seemed to work the way she expected it to. Sometimes she wondered if the craft was worth attempting anymore, the cost always seemed to out weigh the gains. No spell she ever cast had ever done what it was meant to. Only her broom had little bad side effects, that was the only friend she had left now bar her beloved flying monkeys.
Sat on the floor holding the spell book close to her chest like a lifeline Elphie wept, the sounds of a crying Dorothy in the background. She wept for the loss of everyone she had ever loved, the future she had hoped to have with that special man. All her life she had felt like nothing, until she had seen herself through his tender eyes. For a while she had allowed herself the fantasies of how they could always be together.
She didn't even have a photograph to remember him by. Her sobbing grew more and more distressed until a quiet blonde moved into the room, sat at her feet and hugged her. "Glinda?" she asked quietly.
"Shh I'm here its okay now." She promised.
"I lost him, I loved him so much." Elphaba choked out hugging her.
"We both did." Glinda said softly, "I know you grieve for him, for Nessa, but don't let it turn you into the monster they fear you are."
"I want them to kill me." Elphie confessed, "I can't live without him."
"Fiyero would never forgive you if you just gave up, he gave his life for you make that mean something. I need to get you out of here, the wizard's men are coming and they will kill you." She insisted.
"Let them come I have nothing left to lose now." Elphie sighed.
A monkey came and passed her a note, she read it and reread it quickly shoving it up her sleeve. "Glinda they can't find you here, they will kill you too. Someone has to go up against the wizard in my absence. That has to be you." She hid her in a back chamber, let the bratty girl go and let fate end her suffering as she melted from a bucket of water, leaving nothing but her hat behind and a puff of green smoke to show she had ever existed.