Summary: Implied slash SB/RL. During Christmas vacation, Natalie Black
notices that her seventeen-year-old son, Sirius, seems bothered by
something.
Disclaimer: This particular wizard world is owned by JK Rowling. Natalie and Altair are mine.
Coming Out
Natalie Black smiled to herself. The star-christened men in this family could be so clueless. For generations they'd been scandalously intelligent and criminally handsome, but they occasionally suffered from gargantuan blind spots regarding things blatantly obvious to the rest of the world. That is, until the mystery jumped out of the mists and bit them sharply on the nose. It was obvious to her that her son was fretting about something. She had recognized it from the moment Sirius had stepped off the train yesterday when she noticed the slight tension line between his brows. And how forced his conversation had been through last night's dinner, with none of his usual laughter. And how impervious he seemed to the festive Christmas atmosphere. And tonight, the way his gaze settled into middle distance, unless he made a visible effort to look engaged in the conversation.
Which he did now in startled response to his father's question. "Nothing's bothering me, Dad. I'm fine."
It had taken Altair Black an entire day to sense that his son was laboring under some distress. Now that his keen mind had figured it out, he clearly wasn't buying Sirius' self-assessment. "Is that why you're sitting there shredding that dinner roll into confetti?"
Well, perhaps not so clueless after all, Natalie mused. On the other hand, the evidence on Sirius' plate of a meal barely touched and a warm, flaky roll dismembered was the prandial equivalent of sending up distress flares.
Sirius dropped his hands into his lap and eyed the mutilated bread. "I guess I'm not very hungry tonight," he said quietly.
Altair glanced at her, one ebony brow cocked, silently asking if she had any idea of the cause of their son's malaise. With a faint hint of a shrug, Natalie conveyed her ignorance. She followed that with the barest shake of her head, warning him against pursuing his questioning. The signal flew right by him and he returned to his probing.
"There isn't anything.ah.untoward at school that we need to know about, is there, son?"
'Oh, no. Not the Snape incident,' Natalie thought, sighing at her husband's sudden reversal into obtuseness. That uproar had taken place last spring, in Sirius' sixth year. 'No, that's not what's bothering him at all,' Natalie decided, watching the man-child across the table suddenly regain his poise. His spine straightened, his chin lifted and he stared straight into his father's eyes. "If you're hinting about Snape, I've stayed as far away from him as I can since.since all that. And I'll continue to avoid him. If anything happens, it will be because he comes after me."
His tone was quiet, respectful, yet forceful. He was telling them he would do his best to prevent further confrontations, but, at the same time, he would defend himself if need be. She understood that, and, she knew, so did her husband. They also knew that Sirius, under strict instructions from Albus Dumbledore, had not told them every single detail about that night. Sirius had done something to endanger Severus Snape's life. But, somehow, her son's close friend, Remus Lupin, had also been victimized.
Sirius had received harsh punishment from the Headmaster, including a month's suspension from school. Natalie had never seen her son as saddened and distressed and angry at himself as he was during those weeks. Yet, she was sure that no official punishment came close to equaling the hurt Sirius had suffered from the obvious strain in his relationship with Remus. Every time owl post from school arrived, rays of hope would spark from her son's eyes. And as soon as Sirius recognized the writing was not Remus' fine hand, he would unsuccessfully struggle to hide his feelings of utter dejection. Not once did Remus contact him during his suspension. However, when Sirius returned to Hogwarts, they reconciled. That entire awful episode was in the past. Natalie was positive it was not the source of her son's current unease.
Altair tossed out another thought, like a blind man reaching for support he can't see. "Not having problems with a special young lady, are you?"
Sirius now looked affronted. "No!" He said in sharp denial, although he couldn't hide the slight blush suffusing his cheeks. "Everything's fine. I'm just tired, that's all." The gaze he turned towards his mother had more than a hint of desperation in it. "May I be excused?"
"Yes, dear," Natalie said calmly before her husband inadvertently resumed trampling on his son's feelings. She saw the mildly miffed expression on Altair's face, and her son's quick flash of gratitude. Sirius began clearing the table, but her maternal instincts told her to complete her rescue. "I'll take care of it, Siri." With mumbled thanks, he fled from the kitchen.
Natalie turned to see her husband's Caribbean blue eyes twinkling at her in mingled exasperation and amusement. "So, do you know more than you're saying about that?" A nod of his head indicated the vacant place at the table. "Or are you simply taking pity on him?"
She laughed softly, warmed by the love she felt for these complicated men with whom she shared her life. "I haven't a clue as to what's bothering him. But I know him well enough to realize that he's working up to telling us something. Pushing him now will only make him close in on himself."
"I'd be willing to bet that this has something to do with some romantic entanglement. You saw how he blushed."
"He hasn't mentioned anyone special in his letters."
"Maybe he's fancied someone from afar, never did anything about it, and now she's seeing another boy."
"Mmmm." Natalie was non-committal. That didn't feel quite right to her.
Altair suddenly moaned softly. "Oh, no, you don't suppose he's gotten someone pregnant, do you? Maybe she's insisting on marriage and he doesn't love her or -."
She looked at him sharply. "Well, Merry Christmas to you, too! Are you going to spend the entire evening dreaming up dire scenarios? Let it be. He'll tell us when he's ready."
He grimaced as he rose, flicking his wand to send a parade of dishes on their way to the sink. "You're always so calm in the face of potential catastrophe. It's probably why you have no wrinkles and I do."
This time she laughed out loud, the same sparkling waterfall of a laugh that had first caught his attention over thirty years ago. He loved it, as he loved everything about her. Pulling her to her feet, Altair wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. "I only hope our addled offspring finds someone in his life who makes him as happy as you make me."
"*I* only hope he's not eavesdropping, dearest. Most sons would not treasure hearing their fathers refer to them as either addled or potential catastrophes. I won't even go into the unwed father bit."
He tilted his head and blinked at her with that challenging, flirty expression that had originally drawn her to him. "Come on, Nat. Stay on my side. If you join forces with the boy, I'll never win. You've got to admit he has a sterling knack for complicating our lives."
"I prefer to think that he enriches us with his untamable high spirits and his unfettered imagination."
Altair hooted. "Let me write that down. I want to be able to remind you the next time a Hogwarts owl comes tapping at our window with yet another disciplinary missive."
"Don't arch your brows like that, love. That's why you have wrinkles and I don't," Natalie replied sweetly.
"If that's the case, I suppose you'll get rid of all those potions and lotions and creams that clutter up the bathroom."
She bounced a roll off his head.
Christmas Eve dawned, with all of its inherent last-minute bustling, as the family prepared to welcome friends and relatives for a large gathering on Christmas day. All three Blacks shot through the house like comets, taking care of final details.
And, all too soon, Christmas was over, leaving only the detritus of shredded wrapping paper, dirty dishes and leftovers. Both Natalie and Altair noticed Sirius' much-improved mood over the previous two days and thought he had come out of his funk.
The day after Christmas, it was back. Natalie saw the preoccupied, aimless way her son wandered through the house. The only time he seemed happy was when he sat reading the letter that had arrived from Remus Lupin. Sirius' face had glowed with a radiant, inner light when he saw whose owl was demanding admittance to the kitchen. But, that delight was short-lived.
Altair was locked in his study, finishing the year-end financial reports of the family's charitable foundations, which he headed. If they were not submitted on time, the Gringotts legal staff got horribly cranky. No one wanted irate Goblins pounding on the door on New Year's morning, so, Natalie didn't disturb him. But, she was beginning to feel a twinge of worry. She weighed various options in her mind on how best to approach her son. However, he surprised her at dinner that night.
"I need to talk to you both about something," Sirius announced as they finished eating. He had the look of someone facing the gallows.
"What's been troubling you, son?" Altair asked gently.
Sirius' eyes flicked back and forth between them several times. He finally drew a deep breath, and then lurched to his feet. "Can we go into the study?"
"Of course -"
Without waiting to hear more, Sirius headed down the hall to his father's sanctuary with his parents following in his wake. He didn't see the worried glances they exchanged, which were well hidden by the time the three stopped in the middle of the study. After a short silence Altair asked, "May we sit down?"
"Sure." Sirius seemed surprised that his father would be daft enough to ask permission to sit in his own study. But, that seemed to relax Sirius a bit. They all sat. Silently. Once again, Sirius inhaled an impossibly deep breath and pushed his wayward hair back out of his face. Briefly, he gnawed on his lower lip. And then suddenly, he spoke.
"I.don't know how you're going to react to what I tell you. I hope.I hope you can accept it, even if I disappoint you. Please just remember that I'm not trying to make your lives difficult. But.but, this isn't something I can change. It's who I am."
He paused and the look on his face made Natalie's breath catch in her throat. For just a moment, she saw an innocent vulnerability, a reflection of the young boy her son used to be. That beautiful, exuberant, laughing child who, each day, slipped farther and farther away into the past. She felt a sudden, keen loss, knowing the child would soon be gone forever. She skillfully kept her expression neutral as the boy vanished, replaced by the determined young man.
"I'm sure this will be a shock to you, and, please believe me, I'm sorry if it hurts you. I never meant it to, but.well.I'm gay."
Altair's unconsciously rigid posture relaxed. Natalie felt she could breathe again. Sirius warily watched them, not sure whether they were building up to an explosion or whether, perhaps they hadn't understood what he had just said.
Suddenly Altair left his chair to sit next to his son on the couch. "This is what's been preying on your thoughts since you got home? How to tell us about this?"
Sirius nodded.
Altair smiled affectionately at his son. "My foolish boy. Oh, Sirius, did you honestly think we would be angry with you?"
"I.I didn't know how you'd feel. I figured you probably both wanted a bunch of grandchildren and all, and I thought you might feel cheated. Or you might think I was just going through a phase or." His voice died out as they sat still, searching each other's expression. Each seemed genuinely puzzled by the other's reaction.
Natalie felt a smile begin to tug at her lips. 'Clueless. Both of them.' She rose and came to sit on her son's other side, taking his hand between both of hers. "Sirius, what we want for you above anything else is happiness, and that includes finding the great love of your life. We don't care what gender that person happens to be. As long as you respect and love and support each other, that's all that matters."
"Yes," Altair agreed. "And, should you want children, you and your partner can always adopt. But, that's up to you." He wrapped an arm tightly around his son's shoulders. "There is nothing, Sirius, nothing you can do, that will drive a wedge between us. We'll always love you, no matter what."
Sirius sighed in obvious relief at his parents' unhesitating acceptance. "Thanks," he said. One brow cocked quizzically. "Now I feel like an absolute idiot for being so anxious."
Natalie ruffled his hair. "Go with the feeling."
"Mum!"
Later, Altair lay in bed watching his wife's finishing touches to her nightly routine. "Nat, you don't think he's still a virgin, do you?"
"Sirius?" She paused, considering. "Actually, I'd rather not speculate on his sex life."
"So you think he has one."
She slid into bed, grinning mischievously. "Let's ask him detailed questions at dinner tomorrow. How many partners he's had. What was his first time was like."
"Natalie! We couldn't possibly tease him about this. Although, it might be worth it just to see him look utterly mortified."
They chuckled softly at their son's expense.
Just before sleep claimed her, Natalie recalled the radiant expression on her son's face, how his eyes had sparkled, when he received the letter from Remus. Ah, now *that* felt exactly right. Natalie, as usual, was several steps ahead of her men, but decided to keep her knowledge to herself.
TBC
Disclaimer: This particular wizard world is owned by JK Rowling. Natalie and Altair are mine.
Coming Out
Natalie Black smiled to herself. The star-christened men in this family could be so clueless. For generations they'd been scandalously intelligent and criminally handsome, but they occasionally suffered from gargantuan blind spots regarding things blatantly obvious to the rest of the world. That is, until the mystery jumped out of the mists and bit them sharply on the nose. It was obvious to her that her son was fretting about something. She had recognized it from the moment Sirius had stepped off the train yesterday when she noticed the slight tension line between his brows. And how forced his conversation had been through last night's dinner, with none of his usual laughter. And how impervious he seemed to the festive Christmas atmosphere. And tonight, the way his gaze settled into middle distance, unless he made a visible effort to look engaged in the conversation.
Which he did now in startled response to his father's question. "Nothing's bothering me, Dad. I'm fine."
It had taken Altair Black an entire day to sense that his son was laboring under some distress. Now that his keen mind had figured it out, he clearly wasn't buying Sirius' self-assessment. "Is that why you're sitting there shredding that dinner roll into confetti?"
Well, perhaps not so clueless after all, Natalie mused. On the other hand, the evidence on Sirius' plate of a meal barely touched and a warm, flaky roll dismembered was the prandial equivalent of sending up distress flares.
Sirius dropped his hands into his lap and eyed the mutilated bread. "I guess I'm not very hungry tonight," he said quietly.
Altair glanced at her, one ebony brow cocked, silently asking if she had any idea of the cause of their son's malaise. With a faint hint of a shrug, Natalie conveyed her ignorance. She followed that with the barest shake of her head, warning him against pursuing his questioning. The signal flew right by him and he returned to his probing.
"There isn't anything.ah.untoward at school that we need to know about, is there, son?"
'Oh, no. Not the Snape incident,' Natalie thought, sighing at her husband's sudden reversal into obtuseness. That uproar had taken place last spring, in Sirius' sixth year. 'No, that's not what's bothering him at all,' Natalie decided, watching the man-child across the table suddenly regain his poise. His spine straightened, his chin lifted and he stared straight into his father's eyes. "If you're hinting about Snape, I've stayed as far away from him as I can since.since all that. And I'll continue to avoid him. If anything happens, it will be because he comes after me."
His tone was quiet, respectful, yet forceful. He was telling them he would do his best to prevent further confrontations, but, at the same time, he would defend himself if need be. She understood that, and, she knew, so did her husband. They also knew that Sirius, under strict instructions from Albus Dumbledore, had not told them every single detail about that night. Sirius had done something to endanger Severus Snape's life. But, somehow, her son's close friend, Remus Lupin, had also been victimized.
Sirius had received harsh punishment from the Headmaster, including a month's suspension from school. Natalie had never seen her son as saddened and distressed and angry at himself as he was during those weeks. Yet, she was sure that no official punishment came close to equaling the hurt Sirius had suffered from the obvious strain in his relationship with Remus. Every time owl post from school arrived, rays of hope would spark from her son's eyes. And as soon as Sirius recognized the writing was not Remus' fine hand, he would unsuccessfully struggle to hide his feelings of utter dejection. Not once did Remus contact him during his suspension. However, when Sirius returned to Hogwarts, they reconciled. That entire awful episode was in the past. Natalie was positive it was not the source of her son's current unease.
Altair tossed out another thought, like a blind man reaching for support he can't see. "Not having problems with a special young lady, are you?"
Sirius now looked affronted. "No!" He said in sharp denial, although he couldn't hide the slight blush suffusing his cheeks. "Everything's fine. I'm just tired, that's all." The gaze he turned towards his mother had more than a hint of desperation in it. "May I be excused?"
"Yes, dear," Natalie said calmly before her husband inadvertently resumed trampling on his son's feelings. She saw the mildly miffed expression on Altair's face, and her son's quick flash of gratitude. Sirius began clearing the table, but her maternal instincts told her to complete her rescue. "I'll take care of it, Siri." With mumbled thanks, he fled from the kitchen.
Natalie turned to see her husband's Caribbean blue eyes twinkling at her in mingled exasperation and amusement. "So, do you know more than you're saying about that?" A nod of his head indicated the vacant place at the table. "Or are you simply taking pity on him?"
She laughed softly, warmed by the love she felt for these complicated men with whom she shared her life. "I haven't a clue as to what's bothering him. But I know him well enough to realize that he's working up to telling us something. Pushing him now will only make him close in on himself."
"I'd be willing to bet that this has something to do with some romantic entanglement. You saw how he blushed."
"He hasn't mentioned anyone special in his letters."
"Maybe he's fancied someone from afar, never did anything about it, and now she's seeing another boy."
"Mmmm." Natalie was non-committal. That didn't feel quite right to her.
Altair suddenly moaned softly. "Oh, no, you don't suppose he's gotten someone pregnant, do you? Maybe she's insisting on marriage and he doesn't love her or -."
She looked at him sharply. "Well, Merry Christmas to you, too! Are you going to spend the entire evening dreaming up dire scenarios? Let it be. He'll tell us when he's ready."
He grimaced as he rose, flicking his wand to send a parade of dishes on their way to the sink. "You're always so calm in the face of potential catastrophe. It's probably why you have no wrinkles and I do."
This time she laughed out loud, the same sparkling waterfall of a laugh that had first caught his attention over thirty years ago. He loved it, as he loved everything about her. Pulling her to her feet, Altair wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply. "I only hope our addled offspring finds someone in his life who makes him as happy as you make me."
"*I* only hope he's not eavesdropping, dearest. Most sons would not treasure hearing their fathers refer to them as either addled or potential catastrophes. I won't even go into the unwed father bit."
He tilted his head and blinked at her with that challenging, flirty expression that had originally drawn her to him. "Come on, Nat. Stay on my side. If you join forces with the boy, I'll never win. You've got to admit he has a sterling knack for complicating our lives."
"I prefer to think that he enriches us with his untamable high spirits and his unfettered imagination."
Altair hooted. "Let me write that down. I want to be able to remind you the next time a Hogwarts owl comes tapping at our window with yet another disciplinary missive."
"Don't arch your brows like that, love. That's why you have wrinkles and I don't," Natalie replied sweetly.
"If that's the case, I suppose you'll get rid of all those potions and lotions and creams that clutter up the bathroom."
She bounced a roll off his head.
Christmas Eve dawned, with all of its inherent last-minute bustling, as the family prepared to welcome friends and relatives for a large gathering on Christmas day. All three Blacks shot through the house like comets, taking care of final details.
And, all too soon, Christmas was over, leaving only the detritus of shredded wrapping paper, dirty dishes and leftovers. Both Natalie and Altair noticed Sirius' much-improved mood over the previous two days and thought he had come out of his funk.
The day after Christmas, it was back. Natalie saw the preoccupied, aimless way her son wandered through the house. The only time he seemed happy was when he sat reading the letter that had arrived from Remus Lupin. Sirius' face had glowed with a radiant, inner light when he saw whose owl was demanding admittance to the kitchen. But, that delight was short-lived.
Altair was locked in his study, finishing the year-end financial reports of the family's charitable foundations, which he headed. If they were not submitted on time, the Gringotts legal staff got horribly cranky. No one wanted irate Goblins pounding on the door on New Year's morning, so, Natalie didn't disturb him. But, she was beginning to feel a twinge of worry. She weighed various options in her mind on how best to approach her son. However, he surprised her at dinner that night.
"I need to talk to you both about something," Sirius announced as they finished eating. He had the look of someone facing the gallows.
"What's been troubling you, son?" Altair asked gently.
Sirius' eyes flicked back and forth between them several times. He finally drew a deep breath, and then lurched to his feet. "Can we go into the study?"
"Of course -"
Without waiting to hear more, Sirius headed down the hall to his father's sanctuary with his parents following in his wake. He didn't see the worried glances they exchanged, which were well hidden by the time the three stopped in the middle of the study. After a short silence Altair asked, "May we sit down?"
"Sure." Sirius seemed surprised that his father would be daft enough to ask permission to sit in his own study. But, that seemed to relax Sirius a bit. They all sat. Silently. Once again, Sirius inhaled an impossibly deep breath and pushed his wayward hair back out of his face. Briefly, he gnawed on his lower lip. And then suddenly, he spoke.
"I.don't know how you're going to react to what I tell you. I hope.I hope you can accept it, even if I disappoint you. Please just remember that I'm not trying to make your lives difficult. But.but, this isn't something I can change. It's who I am."
He paused and the look on his face made Natalie's breath catch in her throat. For just a moment, she saw an innocent vulnerability, a reflection of the young boy her son used to be. That beautiful, exuberant, laughing child who, each day, slipped farther and farther away into the past. She felt a sudden, keen loss, knowing the child would soon be gone forever. She skillfully kept her expression neutral as the boy vanished, replaced by the determined young man.
"I'm sure this will be a shock to you, and, please believe me, I'm sorry if it hurts you. I never meant it to, but.well.I'm gay."
Altair's unconsciously rigid posture relaxed. Natalie felt she could breathe again. Sirius warily watched them, not sure whether they were building up to an explosion or whether, perhaps they hadn't understood what he had just said.
Suddenly Altair left his chair to sit next to his son on the couch. "This is what's been preying on your thoughts since you got home? How to tell us about this?"
Sirius nodded.
Altair smiled affectionately at his son. "My foolish boy. Oh, Sirius, did you honestly think we would be angry with you?"
"I.I didn't know how you'd feel. I figured you probably both wanted a bunch of grandchildren and all, and I thought you might feel cheated. Or you might think I was just going through a phase or." His voice died out as they sat still, searching each other's expression. Each seemed genuinely puzzled by the other's reaction.
Natalie felt a smile begin to tug at her lips. 'Clueless. Both of them.' She rose and came to sit on her son's other side, taking his hand between both of hers. "Sirius, what we want for you above anything else is happiness, and that includes finding the great love of your life. We don't care what gender that person happens to be. As long as you respect and love and support each other, that's all that matters."
"Yes," Altair agreed. "And, should you want children, you and your partner can always adopt. But, that's up to you." He wrapped an arm tightly around his son's shoulders. "There is nothing, Sirius, nothing you can do, that will drive a wedge between us. We'll always love you, no matter what."
Sirius sighed in obvious relief at his parents' unhesitating acceptance. "Thanks," he said. One brow cocked quizzically. "Now I feel like an absolute idiot for being so anxious."
Natalie ruffled his hair. "Go with the feeling."
"Mum!"
Later, Altair lay in bed watching his wife's finishing touches to her nightly routine. "Nat, you don't think he's still a virgin, do you?"
"Sirius?" She paused, considering. "Actually, I'd rather not speculate on his sex life."
"So you think he has one."
She slid into bed, grinning mischievously. "Let's ask him detailed questions at dinner tomorrow. How many partners he's had. What was his first time was like."
"Natalie! We couldn't possibly tease him about this. Although, it might be worth it just to see him look utterly mortified."
They chuckled softly at their son's expense.
Just before sleep claimed her, Natalie recalled the radiant expression on her son's face, how his eyes had sparkled, when he received the letter from Remus. Ah, now *that* felt exactly right. Natalie, as usual, was several steps ahead of her men, but decided to keep her knowledge to herself.
TBC