A/N: I wrote this in one of my classes last week and I figured I should post it(?) Of course I had a reason for writing it; I dedicate this to my "You".
Pairing: Tendershipping (one-sided)
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Unintentional
By Gewlface
It wasn't my intention to fall in love with you...
From the first night you appeared before me, I pitied you. "You're mine now," you'd growled greedily, a terrifying smirk splitting your face in two. It was the first and only time I truly feared you. To a child, you were hauntingly horrifying, a beaken of darkness to be avoided. But to a child, with my naivety and dangerous innocence, you looked lonely.
Mother always did tell me not to trust strangers. What a fool I was.
Your scar, so large and clean-cut, was quite obviously not an accident. Even to a child like myself, it was blindingly apparent that it was given to you, carved into your flesh as a symbol. As you glared down at me with the hatred of a thousand men, I felt only sympathy.
I saw loneliness in you.
I saw myself in you.
In your eyes, I saw a little boy, wide-eyed and petrified beyond belief, a small hand clutching the cloth over his heart. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he ran, urging his frail little legs to go faster, to take him away. As I looked closer, I realized it was you, and I pitied you.
It wasn't my intention to let you in...
Before I knew it, you were dominating my life. You controlled everything, even my thoughts. It was nearly suffocating, but I endured it, unknowingly, for you; for your happiness, for your company. After all, we were both lonely, weren't we?
I never told anyone about you. "They would never believe me," I would say to myself, but somewhere deep down, I knew this was only an excuse. I thought I would lose you if anyone knew of your existance. So I kept you, allowing you to silently and slowly asphixiate me.
It wasn't my intention to accept you...
Somehow, I had become attached to you. To me, you were a lifeline. I knew you would protect me from anything and everything, if only to protect yourself. You never left me, you were always there, always watching. Even when you became overly violent, stealing the souls of those around me, I could never copletely hate you; I suppose I never was good at holding a grudge.
"Look, Yadonushi," you'd said, a twisted grin stretching your lips, "now your friends shall always be with you!"
And for some reason, I felt as though you were good rather than evil. Perhaps you truly did do it for me. Perhaps you really were only trying to make me happy in your own way.
It wasn't my intention to befriend you...
My imaginary friend, the shadow at my feet, you were the one I played with on the playground at recess, the one who attended my tea parties and stayed up with me all night when I couldn't sleep or simply didn't want to. Years passed, and still you were there, the only constant in my life. Others outgrew their imaginary friends, yet you lingered. Somehow, I felt special knowing that you never had nor would leave me. Somehow, I loved the fact that only I could see you, that only I could hear you; you were all mine.
No matter that the others teased me about being childish; you'd just kill them anyways.
It wasn't my intention to let you have such an affect on me...
More years passed, and soon I met Yuugi. You became distant, ignoring me in exchange for him. He was your obsession, and soon it seemed as though I was completely forgotten. Sometimes when I awoke, I'd slept for weeks, even months, while you were out wreaking havoc in my body. Yuugi was more important than me.
But worst of all, you tried to throw me away. Because I didn't like our distance, I became stubborn, something that you didn't appreciate. "Look only at me!" I wanted to scream. But you refused; you only saw him.
And then you tried to replace me with Kaiba's little brother, Mokuba.
It was the single worst thing you'd ever done to me, to try and throw me away, to get rid of me. In that moment, I realized the painful truth; you didn't need me, you didn't want me, you didn't even like me; never had and never would. I was a body, a tool for you to use. There was no chance of any type of friendship between us; I'd been so foolish as to think there was. We were nothing but master and slave, host and parasite. I didn't matter in the least.
It wasn't my intention to die for you...
You died.
Yuugi killed you.
You never came back for me.
You always came back for me, so why haven't you now?
Did you grow tired of me?
Did I displease you?
Am I not good enough?
Why won't you answer me?
"We were both lonely, weren't we?"
You died, and a part of me died with you.
You stole that part of me; my happiness.
Was it so that you wouldn't have to be lonely?
Please, answer me.
Just this once.
It wasn't my intention to fall in love with you...
But I did. I fell in love with the idea of you. You who was my only friend. You who was my shadow. You who was my protector.
But in the end, you left me.
And that was your intention all along, wasn't it?