A/N: This was a fic that came to me following the rooftop scene in S9's "Charade". It's really a speculation story for "Salvation," the season finale. There are no real spoilers to "Salvation" inside unless you include the state of Clark's shirt, the weather and casting choices for the finale. Everything else is pure speculation and based ever so slightly off of the promo/commercial that aired on TV. This story is from Lois' perspective detailing the moments before, during and after Clark's inevitable battle with the Kandorians/Zod.
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I should've said yes when he'd asked if he was enough. I should've looked him straight in the face and told him everything: that he was the love of my life, the one I wanted to be with, that he was it for me. That he was enough. But I couldn't do it. God knows, I felt it. I felt it deep in the pit of my body.
Rather than tell him even a fraction of what I'd told Chloe and even John Corben, I'd turned my back to him, turned to face the city of Metropolis and said instead, "I don't know."
I couldn't look at his face when I'd said it, he'd probably see through my lie. I knew that Clark was enough, but at that moment I wasn't entirely sure. There was a part of me that hesitated; confused by everything that had happened that day. I wanted to give myself over to the city, to work for that higher purpose that I'd so diligently fell headlong into. There was so much good to be done and I could help the Blur, be there for him. I'm sure at the time I knew it could only lead to a lonely life, but there were so many people to protect and help… I was certain that it was worth the sacrifice.
I, Lois Lane, was willing to sacrifice Clark Kent in favour of the greater good. Without the Blur and without my job at the Daily Planet I felt like I was hanging on the edge of something, I just didn't know what to do and where to go.
That night on the roof of the Daily Planet felt like a lifetime ago. In truth, it had been less than two weeks.
The silence between Clark and I had been deafening. I'd mistakenly hoped that visit from his mother could strengthen us, uniting us in the face of her new boyfriend. I knew Clark would look to me for support, as it was likely Mrs. K's new romance would leave him newly mourning his long deceased father. Instead, I found myself continuing to long for my own independence and ended up ruining what could have been a perfectly lovely dinner.
But there had been something hiding beneath the surface of Clark Kent. I'd always known that there were multiple layers to the farmboy from Smallville, but now it was something different… something more that he was keeping from me. It was as though he wanted to share it with me, but held back out of a greater fear.
That fear propelled us further and further apart.
Then this morning, when darkened clouds gave way to rain, he asked me to meet him outside of Remy's Café. Sensing the urgency in his voice, I agreed.
He arrived without an umbrella, his hair wet and matted to his face, his brow furrowed. "Lois," he said, greeting me simply.
"Clark! You're all wet. We should go inside, get you a coffee or something to warm you up."
He shook his head. "I can't stay long. It's just…" He paused, his eyes shifting away from my own.
"Clark? What is it?" I asked, reaching my hand out to his arm. "Is everything okay?"
He cast his eyes to the ground. When he finally looked back up, I noticed his blue-green eyes glistened, reddening at the edges.
My left hand clasped my umbrella tighter, my heart pounding from within my chest. "Clark? What's wrong?"
He swallowed deeply and took my right hand from his arm and held it between his own. "I need you to promise me something."
"Anything."
"Go to Oliver's apartment in Star City. His driver can pick you up at one."
"Star City? What for?" I asked, confused. "Is something wrong, Clark?"
"Just promise me you'll leave Metropolis before tonight. Get as far away from here as you can," he said desperately. "Please Lois, promise me."
"Clark—"
"Lois, I can't answer your questions right now. I swear to you that if I can, I'll call you tomorrow and I'll explain everything… everything."
Something was wrong; I could feel it in his words, in his looks, in the way he was using my touch to keep himself upright. He was a desperate man, looking for an answer I didn't want to give.
I knew instinctively that I couldn't go to Star City no matter how much he asked. Whether it was the curious reporter or my instinct to protect Clark, I wasn't about to leave Metropolis when I could feel his fear like vibrations off his skin.
"Okay," I lied. My voice was careful and planned. I knew he could read me easily and in that moment I needed him to believe my words. "I'll meet the driver at one."
He sighed; it was shaky as though he was trying to regain control of himself. He didn't believe that I would—how could he? He knew I sensed something was wrong and that I would do whatever it took to unveil it.
"Just do me a favour and stay safe. Away from the danger?" He asked, his voice sounding breathless.
I agreed. This time I wasn't lying. "Can't you just tell me what it is? Are you in trouble? I can call the General, he has connections—"
"No!" He stopped me, interrupting my offers of protection. "Really, I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." His voice hitched at those last words. He dropped my hand and ran his fingers nervously through his wet hair.
I steadied my breath, blinking back the tears that were threatening to fall. Now I was scared- for him. "Please Clark. Let me help you," I pleaded.
Clark shook his head, his eyes heavy as he stared at me unsure of what to say or do next. I shrugged my shoulders and lifted my fingers to his tie, running my thumb across its soft texture. Clark's hand covered my own and we stood still, frozen by the heaviness of the moment, both of us surely confused about what we were going to do next.
"I should go," Clark said finally, breaking the silence.
I nodded slowly, a heartbreaking pain cursing through my chest.
"I'll see you soon?" His voice was barely a whisper.
I nodded. "Goodbye… for now?" I hadn't realized that tears had sprung free from my eyes until Clark reached over and wiped them from my cheek.
Before I could even formulate a sentence- or even a word- I found myself pulling at his tie bringing him toward me. His lips found mine easily and we kissed as though there was nothing holding us back.
"Whenever you're ready, Clark," I said, whispering against his lips. With his breath hot against my mouth, I continued. "I'll be there. Just call."
I pulled away, wanting to say more, trying in vain to formulate some further semblance of coherency and failed miserably. Tears streamed down my face and I closed my eyes, attempting to quell them.
When I reopened them, Clark was no where to be seen.
Hours later, I was crouched behind a dumpster in an ally in Metropolis, using its heavy lid as a shield as debris rained down upon me. Finally what Clark had been fearful of, was clear to me: the alien invasion that Dr. Chisholm warned me about months ago was happening right above me.
I peeked from behind the dumpster, revealing myself from my hiding place. Another clap of thunder sounded in the night air as rain pelted against my body. I pulled my raincoat tighter over my head and turned my face to the sky. Occasionally I could see a flash of light streak through the blackness of the night. To the casual observer the flash could've been lightening or a meteor; but I'd discovered later that it was likely one of weapons of the Justice League of America whose identities I had revealed on the front page of the Daily Planet.
The noise above me was deafening, masked in part by the thunder. I could only make out figures; they leapt from the shadows and in to the sky, their weapons occasionally reflected by a street light.
I ran from my place of refuge to see if I could find a better vantage point. I'd felt helpless behind the dumpster and needed to do something… anything. Blocks of cement, some partially charred; others broken into large jagged pieces littered the street.
My breath hitched in my throat as I watched a body fall from the sky; the man's screams echoing around me. His body flailed as it fell heading straight toward a steel beam that sat erect. I looked away, shielding my eyes from witnessing a horrific impact. When I reopened them, instead of seeing a mangled body, his torso had obliterated the beam, bending it to a 90 degree angle.
Every voice inside of my head screamed at me to run in the opposite direction. Instead, perhaps foolishly, I ran to toward the body that writhed to a seated position before me.
"Are you okay?" I asked cautiously. He quickly leapt to his feet and faced me. He seemed unharmed, yet anger permeated from his dark eyes. An unfamiliar symbol adorned his chest. "Let me call an ambulance," I offered as I stepped back cautiously, pulling my cell phone from my pocket.
"Miss Lane?"
I gasped, startled by a voice from the shadows. Behind the man who'd crushed the steel so easily was a pair of red, piercing eyes, glowing from a darkened corner.
"Do I know you?" I called out; my cell phone ready in my hand. The man between us just stood silently, watching our exchange, perhaps deciding who he'd exact revenge on first.
The voice ignored my question and with urgency said, "You need to hide Miss Lane. Get away from here." He looked briefly to the sky and pulled from his pocket a glowing green meteor rock which caused the first man to collapse onto his knees, groaning from obvious pain.
"Wait! What are you doing?"
"It is not for me to explain. You need to leave. Now!" He pushed the man to the ground and placed the meteor rock on his chest. "Go! Run!" He commanded me as he lifted himself from the ground; and with his arms outstretched, he floated in midair.
This time I didn't argue. I turned and ran. My feet beat against the pavement, water splashing along my legs, wetting my trousers. I dodged debris which continued to crash around me, the rain pelted against my face.
As I rounded the corner I came face to face with the chaos that I'd initially hid from. Cars sat upended, glass windows were shattered all around me. People screamed in every direction, running for shelter, calling for help.
In the middle of the street lay a fragmented helicopter. Its propellers spun haphazardly, its rotor barely managing to turn them. The pilot lay dead against the flight controls, the radio blaring static.
Large beams of search lights flooded the street, military commands called out, jumbled by the pandemonium that surrounded me. I looked up to the sky, squinting into the bright lights. Wind swept my hair across my face, letting me know that the Blur was near.
"Lois?"
"Chloe?" I turned, pulling my hair from my face, and found my cousin seated against a store's window ledge, a computer propped up on her knees.
"What are you doing here?" She asked; seemingly ignoring the destruction that was taking place over our heads and around us.
"I should ask you the same thing," I retorted, crouching next her.
"Stargirl you're up," she commanded into a headset as she tapped her fingers along her keyboard.
"Stargirl? From the Justice Society?" I shook my head and stared at her computer screen. "Chloe who are you talking to?" I asked trying in vain to decipher the words and numbers that streamed endlessly across her computer screen.
"Not now Lois!" She declared suddenly, shielding her eyes against a sudden blast of wind and light which carried cement dust particles along with it.
Chloe tapped her fingers along her keyboard. "Cover your ears Lois."
"What?"
"Cover your ears. Now!" She ducked her head, hands cupped against her ears. Confused, I followed her lead. Glass shattered around me as a piercing scream filled the air. People fell to the ground wincing in pain, their bodies trembling. No sooner had the sound overwhelmed us, it evaporated.
"Nice job Canary. Boy Scout do you copy?" Chloe yelled in to the headset. "Boy Scout? Boy Scout? Answer me!"
"Chloe? What's happening? What is going on?" I begged her to explain, pleaded for some understanding.
"Damn it!" She cried out, slamming down the lid to her laptop. "We have to go. We have to find him!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me with her. "C'mon!"
Despite my apprehension and disorientation, I did as she ordered.
"Manhunter!" Chloe screamed in to her headset, pushing through the throngs of citizens who littered the streets. Some were trying to catch a glimpse of the apocalyptic battle, others ran for their lives. "Boy Scout is non-responsive. Initiate sequence 26-62. I'm going to try and find him."
"Who- who are we trying to find? What's going on?" I implored her for answers as she dragged me around a corner and in to Suicide Slum. "I don't think this is the best place to be right now, Chlo—"
"Here," she interrupted tossing her cell phone toward me. "Use this and track the point labeled Boy Scout."
I turned the phone over and noticed numerous blue points moving across the screen. Some of the names were familiar—like the names of the Justice Society members—and others were new to me. "Found it! He's just off of Center Street and 6th," I cried out. Unlike the others on the screen, the point belonging to "Boy Scout" remained stationary.
Chloe pulled an octagonal disk from her purse and connected it to an external drive that she'd attached to her laptop.
"The Book of Rao?" I asked; shocked that Chloe had had the alien disk that Perry and I'd been searching for.
She looked at me, confused. "How'd you—" Chloe shook her head. "Listen to me Lois. You need to find him." I nodded my head as she continued, "someone named Manhunter will meet you there shortly. He'll help you. But you need to find Cl- er, Boy Scout first and give him this." She disconnected the disk from her computer and handed it to me. "He'll know what to do with it."
I nodded and took the Book of Rao from her; it felt heavy in my hands. When I looked back at Chloe there was something in her face that I couldn't quite decipher. A look of sadness, maybe even defeat seemed to cross her features.
"Be safe, Lois."
I returned to the crowds and moved toward the location that had been shown on Chloe's phone: Third Street. As I neared its intersection with 6th, I noticed a darkened figure slumped on the ground. His face obscured by fallen concrete, his shirt torn at the symbol that had come to adorn much of Metropolis.
"It's you!" I gasped, running toward his body, fearful about what I might find.
I pushed at the blocks of concrete, wincing from their weight and cursed myself for not working out more. Slowly his face revealed itself to me. I carefully lifted his head and gently placed it on to my lap. His face was torn and battered, but even through the blood and swelling I recognized his gentle eyes which stared back at me.
"Clark," I whispered, stroking his hair away from his bloodied face. "It was you all along…"
He nodded; the pain of the movement causing him to wince. "Lois…"
"Shhh," I said, quickly wiping the tears that begun to fall from my eyes. It all made sense suddenly. An awareness of my recent selfish behaviour toward Clark sent a pain through my chest. "Don't talk; its okay."
Clark ignored my request, lightly shaking his head. "Lois, I wanted to tell—" His words hitched in his throat and he coughed, blood dripping from his lips.
"Don't—Clark, please," I begged, using my scarf to lightly wipe the blood from his face. "You're hurt."
"Someone's going to come and help you… we just have to wait." I chuckled softly to mask a sob. "How do we always get ourselves in to these kinds of situations?" I asked, attempting to make light of the situation; a defence mechanism that I'd seemed to pick up over the years.
"Lois," he said, his words spoken so softly that I barely noticed the movement of his lips.
I shook my head. "Clark, it's okay. Don't talk, help will be here soon. Please…"
"Lois—" he tried again, tears pooling at his eyes. "I wanted you to know…"
"Chloe wanted me to give this to you." I interrupted, handing him the octagonal disk. I had a feeling I knew what Clark was going to say, and the layers beneath his words could only spell a devastating message of farewell.
"I'm so sorry Clark," I said, my voice desperate. "For everything. There's just so much—" He took the Book of Rao from me and held it carefully in his left hand.
"Listen Lois… I—I need you to know," Clark breathed in deeply; his right hand clasped against his chest, masking a deep cut that had adorned his torso. "I want you to know that I— that I love you."
I swallowed the heavy lump that had grown in my throat and smiled softly. "I know Clark. I love you too…I was so stupid not to have told you before. You were always enough. You—you-" I choked on my words, unable to continue. Instead, I leaned my head down and pressed my lips to his bruised forehead.
"That's why…" I began anew, my words coming out shaky. "That's why you've got to pull through this. I can't—I can't do this without you." I wasn't even sure what "this" was, I just knew that I couldn't… not without him.
He shook his head. "Yes, you can." Taking a deep and laboured breath, he continued, "I've never been more proud of you than I've been these past few weeks."
I reached to run my fingers along his hairline, but Clark prevented me. Closing his eyes, he gripped my hand and let his fingers slip toward my wrist. I stared down at this movement, watching as Clark's fingers softly pressed against my pulse, feeling the heartbeat within me.
My lips trembled. "Clark…" I begged him, unsure of what he was about to do.
He looked up at me; a soft and serene expression crossed his face. With a quick motion that I couldn't prevent, Clark lifted the Book of Rao and pressed his thumb to its center.
-Fin-