Jeff was awakened by the very distinct sound of a broom being whacked against a face. This time, it was not his face.

"Get out of our room! We don't want you here… A-and don't even think about hurting my buddy, Jeff!"

The sound of a body flopping on the ground.

"Oh my god… Are you drunk?! You-"

"You never-*hic* you never let me reach my, reach my rebelliosss stage, ffffather…"

"Y-you can't bring alcohol in here! "

"Isssss nooot alohool...! But… Jeff likes the stufffffff, right my dude? Cmon, Jeffferyy les go on another adventur-"

The security of Jeff's blankets were ripped from his face as he saw a leaning figure over him. He expected the stench of booze or vodka to waft from it, but strangely enough, it smelled like deep fried oreos and triple bacon cheeseburgers.

Slapping his hand on the nightstand beside his bed, Jeff searched for his glasses, or maybe a glass of water to throw at this really tall dude towering over him. His search was in vain, for the glasses he sought out were in the hands of the mystery person! The figure put on his glasses upside down, but it still does the job alright.

The person who has invaded Tony and your room is none other than the prince of Dalaam himself. It's fucking Poo.

Jeff was startled so badly he sprang forward and accidentally headbutted Poo. "OW! What the-? Poo, what are you doing here?"

Poo gave Jeff some breathing room while at the same time making it easier for Tony to continue hitting him with a broom. The loose smile on his face suddenly got serious, but his words remained slurs as he revealed some dark news to his good friend, "Jeff, you gotta help me. They kick-*hic* kicked me out of The Burger Shop(c) and i'm banned now."

"Well, why did you get banned?"

"Thas not impornant."

"Did Ness have anything to do with it?"

"He's a gooooooood kid."

"What about Paula?"

"FUCK! You you said herrr name and i remembered that one time when she scared me so bad, she scared me sooooo bad so bad when she-"

"Wait... I thought you didn't like fast food! Why were you-"

Poo grabbed Jeff's torso and flung him into the air. Jeff let out a yelp. Poo shot up into the air soon aafter him and colided into his friend perfectly, so when they were back on the ground, Jeff was in the perfect position for a piggyback ride. At this point, Tony stopped hitting Poo with a broom. It was like Jeff was acting as a human shield from Tony's unbridled fury.

"We gonna get me unbanned, Jeffery. Its importanant."

Seeing no other plausible act of violence he could enact against Poo, he became the human embodiment of worry. "Wait- You aren't going to do anything drastic with my buddy, are you? We were going to throw another birthday party to make up for the one that Jeff missed. I mean, I know he ate all of my gifts, but he never really got to celebrate it with me!"

Silence. Poo stared into Tony's eyes with great intensity. Jeff mouthed out the words 'help me'.

Tony weighed his options carefully before making his next move."Whatever you're planning on doing with my buddy Jeff here, make sure th-"

"Pk-Teleport."

In a blur of colorful and bright light, Poo started walking, running, and then sprinting around in a circle through the middle of their bedroom. Tony could only catch a final glimpse of Jeff before he had to shield his eyes from the psi power emoting from Poo.

Then they were gone.

Tony puffed up his cheeks. "If you're gonna steal my crush, then stop calling him Jeffery. That's not his name!" And then he threw himself upon his bed and cried himself to sleep. What a loser.

Poo and Jeff were soaring through the sky. How they got there? Its best if you do not question how, just like you don't question how the universal law of gravity does not entirely agree with the theory of quantum physics. You'll never fully understand it either, but you know that it's happening and you accept it anyways. Just like the fact that Poo and Jeff are flying.

Actually you know what, i'll give a fucking explanation. The reason they're flying is because their bodies are moving at such a high speed that they're being launched across the mother hecking earth. This is what pk-Teleport looks like to the people using it. The earth slows down for them too. But i'm digressing from the actual story here, you don't need to know any of this. Why did you question this? This is your fault for wondering why they were flying. Now you made me waste an entire paragraph and a half of space that I could have actually used for the story. I hope you're content.

...

Jeff looked over at Poo, who was nonchalantly picking his nose. Gross, Jeff thought to himself. Why am I doing this again?

"Because you are the only one who can br8k the curse, Jeffary."

What the hell? Can Poo read my mind through PSI? Jeff wondered, hoping that he would respond with an affirmative answer.

Poo turned to face Jeff, and instead of giving him an affirmative answer, he made the :3 face. No one said or thought anything signifigant the rest of the trip. Except for Jeff, who eventually thought about how he really needed to use the restroom, but he wasn't sure how to stop pk-teleport in the middle of the trip.

As they finally reached the forsaken dirt planet, they caught a glimpse of the local burger joint in Onett and it was surrounded by broken police and patrolling glass shards. Poo and Jeff hit the ground running and the time around them sped up again as they slowed into a walk and eventually stopped.

Jeff took a minute to get a hold of his surroundings. Well he wanted to, but Poo took Ness's place at the front of the party and started leading Jeff around. Jeff has always had the strongest of strongest urges to play follow the leader, ever since he was a child. The only person who has had a stronger of strongest of strongest urges to follow the leader was his good friend Tony. He always walked really close behind him tho..

Why is Poo walking around in circles? Jeff does not question it, but the narrator sure does. Hi, my name is Eben and I am writing this beautiful story and I hope you have a nice day- what the fuck is happening.

Poo has a knife in his hand and hes pointing it at the burger shop. The broken policemen on the ground grunching beneath his feet as he walked fowarf, and the patroling shards of glass were powerless to stop him from entering the establismnet again. This was because Poo had now pointed the knife at Jeff and he is using him as a hostage.

"Poo- W-what are you trying to do? I thought we were-"

"Jefferer SHUSH we are going to do this my way or the highway." Poo sent Jeff the :3c emoji to Jeff's brain through telepathy. Jeff was so captivated by the message that his friend has sent that his face morphed into the same face.

Poo belched and rubbed his eyes at this new phenomenon. "WOAH sorry Jedffery, that happens sometimes. I didn't mean it im sorry, but there's nOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT KNOW. NOBODY MOVE OR THIS KIDS GONNA GET SLICED OPEN! I just... want to go inside again.. I need to talk to the manager."

Jeff was sweating profusely as he walked over the policemen, through the shattered window and into the unusually brightly lit burger shop. It was extremely bright because the counter in the burger shop was burning, and Jeff was sweating because the entire fucking restaurant was burning. Poo why are you doing this. Let this poor child live. Anyways, the two children tiptied into the musieum of fire VERY QUIETLY because they did not want to disturb the ashes. They get startled very easily. You can't bring any bottled water in there, just in case you accidentally splash it on the fire. Unfortunately, fire gets soggy very easily. They need to preserve the art in this mmuseum.

"Lets-a-GO!" Said Mario, who was with them in spirit. Poo and Jeff built up their defacto speed and clipped into THE REAL burger joint, which was freshly rolled and not on fire. What a Treat! Once in the burger shop, Poo lowered the gun that he had pointed at the fucking loser nerd dweeb, freeing him from his magestic clutch.

"It's not as worm in here as it used to be, what happenned?" Jerf asked.

"We fuckining did it." Poo gave a smirk and pointed his axe at the manager's door leading into the managetr's office. "This was aour true destiny."

The two best friends forever stares at the door for what it seems like moments that were longer than a few minutes. Po looks at Jeff, and back to the door. Jeff looks att the poo and back to door. Oh shit things aren't happening anymore. What now?

"Open sessamie." Poo giggles and kicks the door angrily..4

"Fist we gotta make sure there isn't fire on the other side! Dontcha know things Poo?" Jedd spat on the door hangle and saw it sizzle... "Too hot," Jeff said to himself.

"Hot damn..." Poo whispered to himself.

Jeff ignored gthe comment and etched closer to the door very slowly. He laid his hand on the back of the door handle and he felt that it was cooler than being cool.

((((( REMEMBER KIDS, WHEN IN A FIRE AND TRYING TO GET THROUGH A DOOR, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY USE THE BACK OF YOUR HAND, NOT THE FRONT LIKE JEFF DID. JEFF GOT LUCKY BECAUSE THERE WAS NO FIRE! THAT IS ALL FOR SAFETY FOR TODAY! no more ))))

"We don't gotta beat th' devil outta this door." Jeff turned to Poo after spitting on the door again. After giving his nod of approal, Poo lifted his warhamer and proceeded to beat the shit out of the door was shattered into many peices and jeff was S CREAMIMG he was yelling the entiree time Pooo what are you doing the door was okay! the door wasnt burning we didnt gotta break it down! but the prince did not listen. he just kept on whammering

Once the dambladge was done, they stepped inside.

Observation: Many bones lay across the floor. they were all hand-made of plaster and fake blood, the kind yoy would find in a science fair project about dragos and their skeleton remains. Still, it was very impressive. Turn your gaze your eyes at the large pile of objects that looked a lot like scisiors but were not. hark! a figure stood atop the mass of items, and leaned down to spoke to the two good best friends forever.

"Th."