That day
A/N: somebody tell me to stop writing song fics to Tokio Hotel lol. Title and lyrics all credit to their amazing writer, Bill Kaulitz. OOC I know just read!
Rain falls
It don't
Touch the ground
I'm stuck in a white colored room. It's only me; me and no one else. The tears fall and are grasped to my body. None touch the ground. I would be killed for if they touch.
He's still on my mind.
I can
Recall
An empty house
On the corner of 42nd street, the house. He once stood there. He once lived there.
"James?" A doctor said to me. I growled lightly under my teeth. "Jimmy?" I still refused to answer. She rolled her eyes, "Saint Jimmy."
"Much better, Bitch," I gritted out of my teeth.
"Jimmy," she says again. "What happened?"
I froze again. He's gone, he's gone, he's gone…
You say I'm fixed
But I still feel broken...
"He's doing better," a male doctor said. I got rid of the first one; too many—
"He's eating, sleeping…"
"Barely," she rumbles. "He's waking up with nightmares and only eating basic meals. He can't even be trusted with a knife."
Of course I can't.
Broken…
"How do you feel, James?"
Can't they get it? I'm not ok. "I have been doing alright."
"Everything's been doing well," she whispers. "You're eating, but the nights. What's wrong, Saint?"
"Nothing, just," I gulped, "nothing."
He's a phantom
Haunting me.
Lights on
Lights off
Eyes closed The picture of him still works through the mind. It's never gonna be gone. That's what the doctors never got through those fucking thick minds. I never knew he killed me this much.
Eyes open It's nothing different. I'm still trapped; trapped from doing anything. I miss everything. It was like a child without a mother. The child is me; the mother is him.
Nothing works
"What do you see," The male doctor mumbles.
"Johnny…" I whispered, "He's gone, he's gone, he's gone."
"Jimmy," the female mumbles. I hear scribbling on a sheet; writing….my life again. "Who's Johnny?"
I'm cool
I'm great
"Fuck, its St Jimmy!" one of the guys scream, Theo. "Hey saint!"
"Saint Jimmy's coming down the ally!" Declan sings out. "Hey, speaking of that, where's Jesus?"
I shrugged off, "Probably getting laid by Whatsername again." The guys break into a glee; the tune of laughter.
"Man," Gerard throws a packet of dope on the table. "To you saint!"
I grabbed it and threw it in my jean pockets. Later for me and Johnny that is if he ever gets over that slut…
I found her though, in the corner of the bar. She's crying up a storm and drinking so much, "Whatsername?"
"Asshole," she cries. "Johnny left me, alright?"
I tried to hold a smile.
I'm a jerk
"He left for Jingletown, stop smiling and pull up a chair."
"What?" I couldn't take the truth. "He's not, he's not…"
She passes over a bloody mary. I gulped it down in 2 minutes.
"YA JIMMY!" Theo yells.
"You go, bro," Gerard pats my back.
They keep cheering.
"I'm a jerk; I made him leave," I whispered.
The doctor passes something to the male. "Get this Johnny boy."
I feed myself lies
With words left unspoken
"He's gone," Whatsername says to me. "Jimmy, get the facts. He's gone!"
I couldn't get up. I couldn't stop crying. I felt my hand being grip. "Go out there," Whatsername says, "and put a show on!"
She was right. I got up and grabbed the dope from my jeans. I shot it up my body. I was rocking up a storm. I ran out in the huddle.
"ST JIMMY'S COMING!" Brian shouts.
"Check this out," Corbin said to some new girls. "Hello, Jimmy."
I made out with her, and she fainted.
I was murmuring all this. The doctor noticed. She keeps writing. I threw the board out of her hand, "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WRITING LIES?"
Gonna be Ok
Gonna be Ok
"James," The doctor was in gasp. "It's your life! Oh my god, Jimmy!"
"MY LIFE WAS A LIE!"
One day
One day
I calmed down and looked out the window. The sky was clear; the guys were at a party probably. "Will I ever get to go back out?"
"One day," she whispers.
"I wanna change," I said.
She pats my back. "We'll find Johnny."
That day never came
"Jimmy," two days, no Johnny. Two days, no one day chance… "We found traces of Johnny. It's hard to describe. We found his two best buds too."
"Will and Tunny," I mumbled, looking outside. I saw Extraordinary Girl helping Tunny out of the car.
That day
Never comes
Will came in as I could hear by the footsteps. "Hey," he says. "Jimmy, please, look at me."
"Fuck off," I whispered.
"James," Brad, the male doctor, growled at me.
I rolled my eyes and looked at Will. "What do you want?" I gave him a sensitive glare.
"It's about Johnny," Will whisper. Tunny comes by his side with Extraordinary girl.
I'm not letting go
I keep hanging on
"Jimmy," He sits by me. I couldn't take in the facts that he told me. "Jimmy, please."
"SHUT UP!" I yelled, "OH MY, HE-HE-HE…" Will grabs me for a hug. I started crying into his arms. I couldn't handle the fact; Johnny can't die.
"Keep hanging on," Will murmured. I couldn't hold on; I had to though.
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
Tunny came over by me. I still was crying over this. "It will get better."
I've been waiting forever
That day never came
I need to break free. I have to see Johnny again. How can this happen? He can't die yet. He just….
"I need him…"
You said I'd be
Coming home
"Please," Will growl at Crystal, the female doctor. "He needs to see Johnny. This is why he was placed here."
"Prove it," the bitch spat back.
"He says Johnny in his sleep," Tunny said. "He keeps saying him and he. He's in love with him. He's stuck in this mental state until he sees him."
They said
He's fine
Left alone
"He just needs," The doctor got cut off.
Will signs, "He needs Johnny!"
"He's alright without him," Crystal mumbles.
I'm screaming now, "I FUCKING NEED HIM!"
The screams in my mind
The nurses were holding me down. The dreams were telling me to do this. Johnny was telling me. He's the one I need right now.
Jimmy…
I keep them a secret...
The voice,
And I can't tell those evil doctors. They will think I'm crazy. I can't just yet. I'll get help; I promise, Johnny.
Stop breaking the promise, bitch.
I promise to be by your deathbed.
A secret
The voices and I'm still not telling the doctors.
Tell me, Jimmy. I'll listen…
I can't tell you. You don't even trust me now.
Bitch, you're still breaking my promise. When are you gonna get rid of me?
I'll never get rid of that voice. It will always haunt me. It's telling me to act this way.
I'm not even!
Doctors and your
Promises
Once Crystal left, Brad touches my shoulder. Will and Tunny are still here. Brad whispers, "We'll find a way."
Trust him, Johnny says.
Phsycics, healers
I've seen the best
A day passed; I had to see the doctors again. I don't need help…
Yes you do, Jimmy. Stop acting like you can't hear me.
You ruined it. You're ruining my life. Go away.
Get the treatment.
"Jimmy?" Crystal says. She takes my hand, leading me into a different room. I'm forced to sit down. I do as I'm told, "Jimmy, do you think you're fit to go out to see Johnny?"
"Yes…"
BITCH WHY ARE YOU LISTENING TO HIM?
Stop it! I'm trying to meet you!
Whatever they sell
Sure to know how to deal with it
"Jimmy," She says again. "We are fit to believe that the only reason you are here is because you to miss Johnny. Is this the truth?"
Half of it…
"Yes," I whispered, ignoring Johnny.
Half of it…
"Great," she whispers. "We would like to know you're ok."
Why do you believe him, Crystal?
Gonna be Ok
Gonna be Ok
"We're letting you go," Crystal said.
Happiness blasted through my body.
Don't be too happy.
One day
One day
One day you'll listen to me. One day…
Shut up, Johnny.
Tell that to my dead corpse.
Johnny cakes…
STOP USING THAT FUCKED UP PET NAME!
I'll listen to you.
That's a first.
That day never came
That day
Never comes
The voice will never go away.
You can get rid of me. Do it; I dare you.
I don't want to…
"Jimmy, Brad will go with you," Crystal whispers. "Since you see to like him more then me."
Its cuz Brad doesn't see Jimmy like you! Crystal, you are right! He's different. Jimmy won't admit it!
You know, I can hear you.
I'm not letting go
I keep hanging on
"I need to see him," I whispered again.
Crystal grabs my hand. I smile to her. "You're getting the chance…"
Get rid of me…
Never…
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
I've been waiting forever, forever
I got up from my spot and gave Crystal a hug, "Thank you."
She smiles and led me back to Brad and Will. "Tunny's with Johnny," Will said. "He's happy you're coming back."
That day never came
I nodded and slowly started breathing. I haven't been let out in a year. The last time was to a hospital to see Whatsername. She was almost at death; someone truly to my heart was alcohol poisoned. She lives; she visits me; god I miss her. I went in Will's messy car. Beer bottles were everywhere; drugs were found. This was temping.
Please, don't…
Oh now you're gonna be nice to me.
Because I care for you…
Gonna be Ok
Finally, we were there. Whatsenrame was in the lobby. She smiles seeing me. She runs and grabs me for a hug. "You look better," she mumbles in the hug.
He's fine…
Now, you say that. All the time you were saying differently, tricking me.
"I'm doing better," I said. "How's Johnny?"
Whatsername's tears roll down like raindrops. She fakes a smile, "He's-He's hanging on."
Gonna be Ok
I'm running down a hallway, chasing for him, finding him. I need him.
I'm leaving you. I'm dying. Jimmy…
Don't not yet…Stay, Johnny, I love you.
Lover boy…
One day
That day never came
That day
Never comes
I found Extraordinary Girl outside a room, crying. "He's dying," She whispers. "I can tell…"
She's right…
I ran in to seeing him. His face is disorder. He really got hit in that car. I bit my lip, not showing my emotions. "Finally," Johnny mumbled. "I need you here."
I'm not letting go
I keep hanging on
I kneeled down near to him, gripping his hand. The voice said nothing now. I can't hear it; I noticed the voice leaves when Johnny is here. "Secret time," Johnny said. "I never admit that I left to stay away from Whatsername. It kills me not to know you. Jimmy, please come in the bed with me." I did as he told me. I let him in my arms. He started crying, "Oh, Jimmy, I can't die…"
"Sh," I whispered, pushing my hand through my hair. I waited for a good time to tell him my secrets. I wanted to make sure Brad was no where.
Just me and Johnny…. Like old times.
Everybody says
That time heals the pain
"Jimmy, confess something to me," he whispers. "Please, I told you the reason I left the city."
I signed, "I have been in a mental infirmary for a year."
"Why?" Johnny coughs out.
I lean my head on his chest. "They don't know. I do; I hear your voice when you're away. It tells me to do good things, and I go against it. When I'm with you, it's gone." I teared up.
I've been waiting forever, forever
"Get help," Johnny said.
Listen to him…
You're back…
Listen to him…not me.
I kissed Johnny's forehead. "I promise, promise to watch over me?"
"Promise, if I die."
That day never came
I hold him closer to my arms. "If I die," Johnny whispers. "I spent my last moments in your arms…With you…"
Forever
I love you, Jimmy.
His heart was dead.
Johnny is gone…
Promise to get help?
I started crying. The dead carcass was still holding me, "I promise, Johnny. I'll get help; I love you."
That day never came
A/n: Aw Jimmy =(
Why do I hurt these people so much?
Following story might come up about Jimmy getting help. I need a song though. Review?