Chapter 1: Enter Kiku Sakurai: World's Best Lazy-Ass
"And by doing so, you render your opponent motionle- KIKU ARE YOU LISTENING?", I heard someone scream.
I jerked my eyes open, and saw my sensei, and adoptive mother, Kurenai Yuuhi, glaring at me with her arms crossed.
"Would you settle for a 'sort of'?", I asked, laughing nervously.
Kurenai sighed, and said,"Kiku, you have to start paying attention".
"But Kurenai Sensei, I know all of this already!", I whined.
"Really, repeat what I was saying", she said, crossing her arms.
I sighed, and said,"Genjutsu is a illusion based technique that comes in various jutsus, which you can use, by doing so, you render your opponent motionless, or traumatized".
She scowled lightly, but said,"Very good, it appears you do know this already".
"Kurenai Sensei, every Genjutsu user knows the basic definition of Genjutsu, I'm not in the academy anymore", I explained.
"Yeah well, you've been gone for two years, and haven't told anyone, you just came here and slept for two days, I had to make sure you still remembered", she countered, walking out of the Living Room and into the Kitchen.
"They figure out I'm back eventually, it's not like I haven't left clues, for instance, I told Lady Tsunade I was back, surely she's told SOMEONE by now!", I reasoned, sitting at the Kitchen Table.
"Okay, but I'm not saving you when Rin and Minato come knocking", Kurenai said, sighing.
Just then, there was a knock.
"I got it, I might as well make my presence known", I said, getting up and going to the door.
I opened the door, and there was Asuma Sensei with a bouquet of roses in his hands.
"Still hitting on MY Kurenai Sensei I presume", I said, grinning.
He ruffled my hair, and asked,"How ya been Kiddo?".
"Come in, and I might just tell you", I responded, letting him inside.
"Kurenai Sensei, Asuma Sensei's here", I announced, plopping back into my chair.
"Why does she never call you Mom?", Asuma laughed, taking a seat.
"In all reality, I'm too lazy", I said, waving my hand around a little.
"So, you're two lazy to say Mom, yet you're NOT too lazy to say Kurenai Sensei?", he asked, eyebrow raised and grinning.
"...Shuddup Old Man", I grumbled.
"Old Man?, I ain't that old!", he said, putting his hands up in defense.
"How old are you?", I asked, cocking my eyebrow.
"31", he stated proudly.
"You're old", I said simply.
"Hey!, Kurenai's 31 too!", he shouted, pointing to Kurenai.
"What's THAT supposed to mean?", Kurenai asked, raising her eyebrow as well.
"While you two have a Lover's Quarrel, I'm gonna go on a walk, see ya", I said, getting up and walking out.
"Be back before 8:00!", Kurenai called.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever", I said, walking out the door.
I basically walked around the village, seeing if anything had changed.
I was walking around the forest just outside of Konaha, when I sensed something sneaking up behind me.
When I turned around, I saw a giant blur of white jump on me, causing me to fall over.
"Holy shit, what the- Akamaru, what're on, steroids!", I asked, laughing and patting the giant Nin-dog.
"Akamaru, where are you, where'd you run of to this time?", I heard a male voice call.
"Uh-oh Akamaru, I think you're in trouble", I giggled, the dog getting off me and laying his head on my lap.
"Akamaru, I told you to stop-...Kiku?", I heard someone say.
I looked up, and grinned while saying,"Miss me a little?".
Kiba grinned and said,"Not a bit".
He hadn't changed much.
The only evident change was his clothes.
"Gee, thanks for being such a great friend", I said sarcastically, getting up, much to Akamaru's protesting.
"Let me finish would ya?", he asked, walking up to me.
I raised a eyebrow.
He then gave me a big hug while saying,"I didn't miss you little, I missed you a lot".
"C'mon Kiba, I wasn't gone that long", I laughed.
He ended the hug, and sighed while saying,"Just wait until Rin and Minato find out you're back".
"Oh great, you just HAD to bring them up didn't you?", I asked sarcastically.
"Hey, Akamaru and I are going to the park to meet Shikamaru and Naruto, wanna come?", he asked.
"Might as well, I got nothing better to do", I said, following him as he turned around.
He told me what I had missed, and how much our team had improved.
We finally got to the park, and found Shikamaru and Naruto arguing.
"Hey guys, look what I found wandering in the forest!", Kiba called, walking up to them.
Naruto took one look at me, and pounced on me.
"KIKU I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!", he cried.
"Naru..to...can't...breathe", I said, barely managing to speak due to suffocation.
"Naruto, you're gonna kill her", Shikamaru groaned, pushing Naruto off me.
I got up, and took a deep breath, then turned around, and punched Naruto in the forehead.
"YOU DUMBASS, YOU COULDA KILLED ME!", I shouted, smashing my foot into his face.
"She kinda reminds me of Sakura...", Kiba said, sweat-dropping.
I finally removed my foot from Naruto's face, and sighed,"Well, I should've prepared myself for that but, oh well, he needed that anyways", while laughing.
I then asked," So, what's the news on Sasuke?".
Everyone went silent.
Naruto then said,"We found him, but I couldn't bring him back, but I promise I-".
"Naruto, you got guts, I'll give you that, but guts alone isn't gonna bring Sasuke back, you keep going after him like this, he's GOING to kill you, think about that", I said firmly, interrupting him.
"What do you know, you ain't been around enough to know what you're talking about!", Naruto growled, getting up and into my face.
"Naruto Uzumaki, I suggest you get out of my face now", I said, my voice shaking slightly.
"Then don't talk shit", he said, still in my face.
I grabbed his arm, and threw him over my shoulder, and slammed him into the ground.
I then pulled him arm behind him, and put my foot on the side of his face, putting enough pressure on to keep him down.
"I don't talk shit Naruto, you of all people should know that", I growled.
He stayed silent.
"Kiku, Sasuke's a real touchy subject for him, remember that", Shikamaru said softly.
"That doesn't give him a right to insult me Shikamaru, I meant no harm, I was only giving him my advice", I explained, calming down.
"I didn't ask for it", Naruto growled.
"...Fine, do whatever the fuck you want Naruto", I said, getting off him.
I threw a small package at him, and said,"Happy fucking birthday", turned around, and walked off.
When I got on top of the Hokage faces, I sighed, and plopped onto the ground.
"You know, you kinda had that coming", a voice chuckled behind me.
"I don't need your commentary Shiky", I sighed.
"Didn't I tell you to stop calling me that?", he asked, taking a seat beside me.
"It's not fair, I try to do the right thing, and I get punished, I do the WRONG thing, and I still get punished, WHAT THE HELL?", I shouted, falling backward onto my back.
"You just choose the wrong time to give advice, and you choose the WORST topics to give it", Shikamaru said casually.
"You all suck", I whined, sitting back up.
"You know he missed you", Shikamaru said, again ever-so-casually.
"And you didn't?", I asked, dipping me head to the left.
"I er...never said I didn't, never said I did", he groaned, scratching his hair.
"Face it, you missed me", I said, grinning.
"Did not".
"Did to".
"Did not".
"Did to".
Did not".
"Did to-hey, you cheater!", he growled.
"You DID miss me, I win!", I laugh triumphantly.
All of the sudden, I feel the all-too-familiar pain of cool metal smack against my head.
I slowly turned around, and there is my oldest Blood-sister, Rin Yoshida.
She had her fan out, and though she looked emotionless, she had that,"I'm So Going To Kill You For Not Telling Me You Came Back" aura surrounding her.
"Uh...hi Rin, how ya doing?", I laughed nervously.
"When did you come home?", she asked, boring holes into my very soul with her cerulean eyes.
"Heh heh, three...days ago", I laughed nervously.
SMACK!
"...OOOOWWW!", I screeched, clutching the back of my head.
"You should have told us you came back, if you had, you wouldn't be in pain right now", she stated calmly.
"I hate you", I grumbled, rubbing the back of my head softly as to not cause a migraine.
"I will tell Minato you are back, and she will come to visit you tomorrow at precisely 9:00, understood?", Rin explained, raising her eyebrow slightly at the end of the sentence.
"Yes, Mother", I said sarcastically.
SMACK!
"WHAT. THE. FUCK!", I shouted, clutching the back of my head even tighter.
"Good night", Rin said, turning and walking away.
I could tell Shikamaru was trying to stifle a laugh.
"C'mon, let's go fa-hind Kiba a-hand Naruto", Shikamaru said between laughs.
I stood up, and smacked him in the back of the head before turning to go to the park again.
When we got there, Naruto and Kiba were gone.
"Gone to search for us no doubt", Shikamaru thought out loud.
"Watch, I can find Kiba REAL quick", I said.
I then put two fingers to my lips, and whistled REALLY loud.
Akamaru came running within about a minute.
He stopped in front of me, and I patted him while saying,"Good boy".
"Akamaru, you gotta stop- seriously Kiku, did you HAVE to whistle?", Kiba shouted, running over.
Naruto soon appeared as well.
"Hey, it was the only thing I could think off!", I said defensively.
"Still, I think the whole VILLAGE heard you", Kiba groaned.
"Oh well, they can deal", I said, flipping my hair.
"Well, I gotta go home, my mom will kill me if I don't get home before dark", Shikamaru said.
"Yeah, I gotta get some sleep too", Naruto said, yawning.
"Alright guys, I'll torture tomorrow", I said, grinning.
They waved, and walked away.
"Can you walk to your house on your own, or do I have to walk you home?", Kiba asked, grinning with his eyebrow raised.
"I don't care", I said, turning and walking away.
"H-hey, wait up!", he shouted, catching up to me.
"You do realize that your mom is pretty picky about being out too late too, right?", I asked as we walked slowly to my house.
"Yeah, but she'll understand if I tell her that I was walking you home after you've been gone for two years", he said, putting his hands behind his head.
"Okay~", I sighed.
"Hey, do you wanna hang out tomorrow, you've missed a lot since you left", he asked, his grin fading.
"Hmm, I don't know, I mean, my schedule's pretty-", I started sounding sarcastic.
"You're hanging out with me and Akamaru tomorrow", he commanded, Akamaru barking in agreement.
"Alright, it's not like I can change Akamaru's mind", I said, trying to hide a smirk.
"Akamaru?", Kiba nearly shouted.
We got to my house, and I just shook my head and smiled.
I gave him a big hug, and said,"Nighty-night, try to stay out of trouble until tomorrow".
"Right, ME try to stay out of trouble, what about YOU?", he asked, pointing to me.
"What about me?", I asked.
"YOU'RE the one usually getting in trouble", he said.
I scoffed, and said,"Good night Kiba, 'night Akamaru".
Akamaru barked in response, and Kiba waved.
I then closed the door, and leaned against it while thinking 'Ah, it's nice to be back in Konaha".
A/N:
Well, that's a wrap for the first chapter, and believe it or not, I'm actually going to stick with this story, and I'll try to update my other stories. Sayōnara!
~PBJbam