Phil Lester was always a good student. At the top of his class, especially in English. He was polite, funny, always wearing a smile, and innocent as they come.
Dan Howell... Wasn't. Dan was actually a very smart kid, especially in math, but he just didn't care. He wasn't particularly rude, but he wasn't particularly nice either. He smoked, though it was very unokay with his parents, and wasn't innocent even in the slightest.
Phil had a massive crush on Dan. He didn't want it, he wanted it to go away, but it never did. This had all started whenever their science teacher had placed Dan behind Phil.
"Lester." Dan would mutter to him, while they were taking notes.
"What?" Phil would mutter back, turning his head slightly to look at the brunette a little.
And so it went on. Subtle conversation in science class that little by little made Phil fall in love. They were in a way friends, only talking in science class when none of Dan's other 'Bad boy' friends could see him.
"Phil," Dan said as he sat down, late, one day, "Catch me up on notes." He put his notebook on Phil's desk, expecting Phil to roll his eyes and give it back, but no. Phil picked up the notebook and started to write notes.
"You're really going to?!" Dan asked with a laugh, taking his phone out of his pocket.
"Of course I am." Phil muttered, a smile peaking on the side of his mouth.
And that became the normal. Phil would write Dan's notes, while Dan would make small talk with him.
Little by little, Phil for completely and utterly in love with Daniel. Of course, he would never admit this. His friends, of course, could see right through his lies.
"You're like totally in love with him.." His best friend, Louise, teased him one day as he stared at the brunette at lunch.
"No, Louise, I-I'm not," Phil replied, his voice shaky, "I was just staring at the wall."
"Mhm," PJ said as he sat next to the blonde, "We're not stupid, Philip."
"Well, most of us aren't." His last one of his normal friends, Chris, said nudging Phil as he sat.
Phil just shook his head and went back to staring at 'the wall'.
After lunch was math, then history, then French. He had French with Dan, and the entire time he couldn't concentrate on French.
"Lester," Their teacher called on him, "Comment allez-vous?"
Phil snapped back into reality, trying to think of an actual answer, "Je vais bien. Et toi?" He finally decided on, biting his lip.
"I'm fine, now pay attention." The professor snapped.
Phil shook his head, and went back to staring in Dan's general direction, not trying to be that obvious.
Dan, of course, noticed. But he didn't mind one bit. He had to admit, Phil Lester was pretty damn hot. And he was the nicest kid he had ever meet. His friends teased him for it, Phil Lester was his polar opposite. That entire groups polar opposite.
"He's gay, Howell." One of his friends warned, after the two departed after French one day.
"Oh and I'm not." Dan rolled his eyes, "And I can have friends outside of you guys."
"You can. Go ahead. None of us care, but you cannot be friends with Phil Lester."
Dan shook his head, ignoring the group around him as he went to his car, bumping into none other than the man of the hour himself.
"Sorry." Dan muttered, watching Phil's face redden.
"Don't apologize, it's fine." Phil smiled up at the taller boy, "I just wasn't paying attention."
"Don't blame yourself, pretty boy," Which was what Dan had taken to calling Phil in private, "I should've been looking around."
Phil just shook his head, trying not to let his face get anymore red, "Bye, Dan." He muttered as they reached his car.
Dan watched as Phil threw his stuff in the passenger seat before putting his keys in the ignition.
Dan then made the strangest decision he had ever made, he opened the car door, put Phil's stuff in his lap, and sat down.
"Dan..?" Phil asked, "What're you doing..?"
"What does it look like?" Dan replied, sarcasm oozing out of him, "Just drive." He commanded.
Phil bit his lip, "Um, okay." He muttered, "Where? May I ask."
"Anywhere, just drive," Dan muttered, leaning his head against the head rest, "Just far away."
"You okay?" Phil asked.
"Hm, yeah." Dan mumbled, closing his eyes.
"You sure?"
"Yes, Phil, I'm absolutely sure." Dan chuckled.
Phil stayed quiet as he gripped the wheel, his knuckles turning white.
Dan turned Phil's radio on, being greeted by the beginning song on the Hamilton soundtrack.
Phil's face flushed again, "Don't judge me." He whispered, his teeth going back to his lip.
Dan couldn't help but chuckle, "You have the soundtrack about the American Revolution, one which England, where we live, lost. Philip, do you see anything wrong with that?" He teased.
Phil bit harder into his lip.
"I'm just joking," Dan hit the older boy's arm, "Lighten up."
Phil just kept looking ahead.
"Stop up there." Dan commanded, "Please." He stared out the window, the 'American Musical' playing in the background.
When Phil stopped the car, he hovered over the wheel, still gripping onto it.
Dan put one of his hands over Phil's, "You're not okay." He muttered.
"I'm sorry," Phil whispered, "I'm just tired of being so happy all the time." He admitted.
"Of course you are. So nice to everyone, so happy all of the time. It must be exhausting." Dan said softly.
"I have to do it though," Phil bit his lip, "If not me, nobody will."
Dan tapped on Phil's lip, "Don't do that." He whispered, "It's a sign of anxiety. You don't deserve that. All the worrying all the time."
"You...?" Phil started, but Dan nodded, cutting him off.
"Yeah. Started when I was twelve, thirteen..." Dan admitted.
It was assumed that Dan was engulfed in depression, which he was, but this wasn't expected.
"I-I'm so sorry." Phil whispered, his gaze going to the window.
"It's not your fault, Phil," Dan's gaze went to Phil's pale face, "You can't do anything about it."
"I-I know, but maybe I could.." Phil tried, shaking his head.
"Phil, you're the nicest person I know, and I wish there was something you could do, but-but you can't. It doesn't work that way. I've got people to talk to.. You don't. Tell me what's on your mind."
"I try and be nice. I try-"
"And you succeed."
"But sometimes it just sucks. I can't always do this."
"Of course you can't. Nobody can, and you don't have to, Phil. Nobody expects you to."
"Everybody expects me to.." Phil started to get choked up, tears forming in his eyes, "Sorry, just mouth is getting dry." He muttered.
Dan reached over and turned Phil's face, "Maybe I can help.." He whispered before leaning in and kissing the raven-haired boy.
Phil's heart skipped a beat as his lips connected with the brunettes.
Dan could hear Phil's heartbeat as he pulled back, "Seems fine to me.."
That moment was the single best moment of Phil's life. Unfortunately, everything went down from there.
They got moved away from each other in science, but got moved together in College readiness. They barely talked anymore. Phil's life got sad. Dan's stayed the same. Oh, and Dan got a girlfriend..