Author's Note: This is a sort of 'missing scene' for "The Brotherhood", so don't read this if you haven't seen the episode; it won't make any sense. It starts when the team is headed back to the Stargate and Allina takes the ZPM from them. Surprisingly enough, this isn't McWeir or Sheyla. (I'm scaring myself here.) Regardless, I hope you enjoy! Feeback is welcome!
Disclaimer: I do not own Stargate Atlantis or any places, people or anything else that appear in the show. Be nice if I did though...
The Bonds That Break Us
Rodney McKay stared incredulously at the woman before him. Villagers had surrounded them, pointing their weapons toward John Sheppard and his team. The woman, Allina, stepped forward, taking the ZPM that Rodney had been holding in his hands. "The potentia will be put into hiding on another world," she stated, stepping away from Rodney. "When the ancestors return our people will be greatly rewarded," she announced.
"Allina, you can't believe that," Rodney said, shaking his head. He couldn't believe that she was doing this. The new brotherhood; it was all in waste. The ancestors; the Ancients, whatever you wanted to call them, they weren't coming back. Rodney stepped forward. "Look…come back with us," he offered, his eyes pleading. "Let me prove it to you." Their eyes locked for a tense moment. Rodney knew that Teyla, John and Aiden were standing behind him, along with several villagers, but at that moment it seemed to be only him and Allina. He stared at her, trying to convey with his body what words couldn't say. It was the truth: the Ancients weren't coming back and Atlantis needed the ZPM desperately.
Allina stepped back, shaking her head. "This is how it must be," she whispered, and just like that, Rodney felt a grip of cool pain come over him. It wasn't just about getting the ZPM for Atlantis. Allina… He thought he could trust her. Deep down, he knew he had grown fond of her. And after Sheppard's informing him that Allina liked him too, well… Rodney hung his head. 'Well what?' he asked himself sharply, 'You thought you and her would get together?' he looked back up at Allina, his eyes scouring into hers, the betrayal slicing through her. "Now…" she tried to move her eyes from Rodney but found that she couldn't. She would wish a thousand times if it would make a difference how this was to turn out, but it wouldn't change this. This was truly how it had to be. The potentia was hidden for the ancestors; not the people of another planet residing in their city. She gripped the object in her grasp. "It is time for you to leave," she addressed the team firmly before turning. Her feet carried her away quickly. She could not—she would not—show her true feelings here.
Rodney jogged forward, grabbing Allina's arm and turning her around. He didn't care that tens of villagers were pointing weapons at him; he needed to know if this was for certain what he was seeing it as—she was betraying him. Or had she just manipulated him for the sake of this new brotherhood? Rodney was disgusted at the thought that he had been played so easily. "The ancestors came to our planet to escape a plague," he told her, holding her steady when she struggled. "They had children with people of our planet. Their genes are in several of the people of Earth—and lots of those in Atlantis."
"But you are not the ancestors," Allina said acidly. They, too, had kept things from her. They had led her to believe that they were the ancestors, not just some nomads in the great city. "The potentia is not meant for you."
"What don't you get?" Rodney's anger got the best of him. "The ancestors, they aren't coming back!" his exclamation caused a murmur among the villagers, but they kept their weapons steady. "They've ascended to a higher plane of being," Rodney spat. "They aren't coming back."
"And we have but your word for it," Allina replied sadly. She longed to believe him…but she couldn't.
"You don't trust me," Rodney deduced. Allina opened her mouth to correct him before realizing a moment later that what he said was absolutely right. She hated the pain in his expression.
"I hardly know you," she whispered.
"I thought I knew you," Rodney retorted venomously. "But obviously you aren't half of the woman I thought you were." Looking back, he knew his comment was spiteful, but it spilled from his mouth nonetheless.
"What would you do in my shoes? People have died in order to ensure that the potentia only falls into the hands of the ancestors. Would you give it to someone else? Would you demean the sacrifices of others?" Allina questioned.
"You wouldn't be demeaning anything," he told her firmly. "Look. That ZPM-the potentia, whatever-that you're holding in your hands? That could save two-hundred lives, at the least."
"I am sorry," Allina told him truthfully.
"I guess I was wrong about more than you," Rodney said, looking toward the villagers. "Would you rather she saved two-hundred lives or hid something to be found by people who aren't going to look?" The villagers did not reply, instead absorbing his words in silence. Rodney turned to Allina. There was a deadly look in his eyes that she hadn't seen before—and that she wished she wasn't seeing. "If you're not going to give us the potentia, I wish you could watch Atlantis. I wish you could see every single person die," his voice lowered as he spoke, "and know that it's your fault. That, because of your ignorance, you've killed innocent men and women." His eyes blazed with the anger held within him.
Allina struggled not to let him see the effect of his words on her. What if…what if it was true? With white, trembling hands, she clutched the potentia closer to her chest. But what if he was lying? It was a chance she, and the new brotherhood, could not take. "Leave," she hissed. It was the only word that she could speak. She was afraid if she said too much, her emotion would seep through.
"You didn't care about me at all, did you?" the dark tone in Rodney's voice left, replaced by a numb voice. "It was just a game for you; to figure out how to manipulate me into finding the potentia for you."
"It wasn't like that," Allina responded before she could think to stop the instinctive retort. Rodney just stared at her disbelievingly.
"Then what was it, huh?" Rodney asked icily. "You knew that if we found the potentia you were going to take it from us." 'I got carried away,' Allina answered mentally as she gazed downward under Rodney's angry glare. She looked up and glanced behind Rodney. The others of his team were staring at him, odd looks on their faces. Guiltily, Allina realized that perhaps Rodney hadn't displayed this sort of behavior around them before.
Allina turned her back on Rodney's gaze, unable to handle it anymore. Biting back the potential tears in her eyes, she addressed the villagers. "See to it that they return to Atlantis," she said, her voice devoid of any emotion. "Now," she added, her voice straining on the word.
The villagers walked forward. One of them grabbed Rodney's arm and pulled him in the direction of the Stargate; away from Allina. Rodney, knowing that there wasn't much he could do, allowed himself to be pulled, yet his eyes still remained on Allina.
John Sheppard, too, gazed at Allina. "Don't do this," he hissed, almost warningly.
"You are making a grave mistake," Teyla added.
Allina did not turn. She gazed straight ahead, her eyes on the bright blue sky. Standing behind her, they could see no weakness. But as she gazed into the sky, her morals and duties jumbled, her emotions troubled; silent tears slipped down her cheeks. They would never know how she felt, and it was better that way…wasn't it?
"Isn't it enough that you used me?"
Allina dropped her head at Rodney's voice, staring down at the potentia. The potentia… It was the cause of this. She felt like throwing it, dropping it; anything to get the wretched thing out of her arms. But she held it close to her all the same.
"Do you have to doom hundreds of people while you're at it!" Rodney yelled. She let a quiet sob fall through her lips as his words pounded through her head. Being responsible for so many deaths…her shoulders shook at the thought. She couldn't handle it. These people could take the potentia; they could put it to use; to a good use. And everything would be okay. Maybe, maybe whatever had been between her and Rodney…maybe it would work.
But she could not betray the brotherhood.
Allina turned her head, looking back at Rodney. The surprise in his eyes at the tear tracts down her face stung her heart, but she didn't say a word. Their eyes locked for a long moment. She felt her lips trembling, and she knew within that moment she had to make her decision. "I'm sorry," Allina whispered finally, dropping her head and breaking eye contact with Rodney. She dropped the potentia to her feet, dirt rising like a shroud around it.
And she ran. She had no place in mind to go but away. Away from this pain; away from this disaster…but no matter how far away she got from it; the potentia was still her duty, her duty to protect no matter what the circumstances. She would always have to place the potentia above everything else: family, friends, feelings and even herself. The haunted, agonized look on Rodney's face had burned itself into her memory, torturing her with every breath. She had to wonder…how many more would there be?
How many more would have to sacrifice for the future of the potentia?