disclaimer:all characters, things places etc. belong JK Rowling and Wrner bros. i own nothing. boo hoo.
hello! hope you like this story. it's one-shot for now but i like it enough to write another chapter. maybe. tell me what you think! don't forget to review on your way out! i treasure every one.
It was late October, and the days should have been getting colder. Heavy, depressing grey clouds hung on the horizon, their bellies scraping the tips of the Scottish mountains that surrounded the ancient school of Hogwarts. However, due to global warming and some illegal student magic, Hogwarts was experiencing an out of season heat wave and classes had been excused for the day. A few students roamed the corridors of the school but most of them were outside, enjoying the weather and swimming in the lake.
However, the day off was not as innocent as it seemed; with Voldemort now acknowledged and at large, the defences and safety measures around the school had been increased greatly. Strong magical barriers had been placed around the perimeters of the school grounds, the forbidden forest was being watched closely for any sign of unusual activity, and all the post leaving and entering the school was being scanned by magical x-rays to make sure that the contents were malign. Today, aurors were taking the opportunity of the heat wave to make sure that defences within the school were what they should be. Aurors of all shapes and sizes were walking around the school with maps and wands out, reinforcing magical charms that had not been repaired for hundreds of years. They talked casually and most wore normal robes. Every now and then a house-elf would appear with a tray of cool drinks, the ice cubes clinking quietly and the small umbrellas whirling where they were pierced into slices of orange or lemon.
Outside, under the shade of a large oak, sat a large group of sixth year Gryffindors. They leant against the thick trunk and used their wands to send muggle inflatables chasing after the first years, their laughter following the terrified youngsters as they tried to escape their own blow-up hoops. The group consisted of Dean, Neville, Seamus, Ron, Hermione-who was trying very hard not to laugh, half-heartedly telling Ron to stoppit- ,Luna and Ginny-who were honorary sixth years for the day. After a while they got bored of tormenting the younger students and fell to talking.
"Did you see that one that jumped in the lake to escape it and then started drowning?! I had to send that dolphin in after him and he was too scared to hold onto it! He kept trying to swim away and then falling under the water. I might have had to go in and rescue him myself if the dumbass hadn't finally seen sense and grabbed hold!"
"Ron! It's not funny!" cried Hermione as he collapsed into snorts of laughter, "He was really scared, you've probably scarred him for life!"
"Talking of scars" Ginny piped up from where she was trying to plait Neville's hair, "has anyone seen Harry recently?"
"I think I saw him after lunch, he was surrounded by his first year fan club over by the greenhouses"
"Those guys are so cute, have you seen their badges with Harry on them?"
"They have badges now?!" laughed Dean, "and I thought it was bad when they came to breakfast with scars drawn onto their foreheads. Poor Harry, I don't blame him for disappearing."
"Yes, but I'm really getting worried about him. He's always disappearing these days." Hermione interjected seriously. There was a moment of silence as they all considered what she had said.
"Yeah, but what can we do, we can't follow him round all the time, making sure that he's ok, he'd hate that" Ron pointed out, "Anyway, he gets annoyed enough when we ask him how he's feeling, let alone forcing him to stay in our company all the time."
Neville nodded his head in agreement, the short stubby plaits that covered it bobbing up and down. "It's true, he's really touchy nowadays. I walked in on him in the showers yesterday and he screamed at me. Those are communal showers, he's not allowed to hog them for himself."
A murmur of agreement sounded around the tree and a few heads nodded thoughtfully.
"He is alright though," spoke Luna dreamily "he seems ok to me"
"Yeah, he's fine. Just a bit moody. He's been like this since the summer, he'll get over it soon." Ron said firmly. "Besides all he needs is a girlfriend. I bet that would cheer him up." He grinned and nudged Ginny who blushed and giggled helplessly. Others joined in and their laughter floated out across the lake.
The late afternoon sunlight poured through the gaps between the leaves of the forbidden forest and mottled the floor a deep gold. A light wind rustled the very top most branches and a few leaves turned lazily through the air, to land among the litter and dry twigs scattered across the ground. From the direction of the lake came the distant shouts and laughter of Hogwarts pupils. Occasionally there would be the sound of someone jumping into the lakes and the shrieks that followed it would float out across the grounds on the Autumn air.
Harry lay on his back, looking up through the branches of the trees. In the fingers of his right hand he held a small razor and he played with it idly as he watched the fluffy white clouds sail across the sky. The left sleeve of his shirt was rolled up to reveal his forearm covered with scratches and scars. A recent cut let a trickle of blood crawl towards the floor where the drop fell onto the crisp, dry leaves. Harry shifted his weight and brought the razor back to his wrist. His face was a pale golden colour, his brilliant green eyes sparkling in the shadows that filled his eye sockets. A raw jagged line ran across his forehead and creased when the skin did, it's lightening shape contorting even more.
Harry pressed the razor gently against his wrist and a bead of blood appeared, bright red against the pale blue of his veins. Suddenly, a caw erupted from his right and a large bird flapped it's wings loudly before launching itself into the air. Harry started and the razor pushed deeper into the flesh of his wrist. Immediately, a spurt of blood erupted from the gash and Harry dropped the razor, pressing the cuff of his right sleeve onto the bleeding wrist. Slowly he brought both hands up in front of his face, biting his lip in pain. The blood had quickly soaked the shirt sleeve red and as he held it high, drops of blood fell to spot the front of his shirt.
Harry stared at it and then let it drop back to his side. He knew that he should be reasonable and do something about it, bandage it, get back to the castle and fix it with his wand, but could he really be bothered to be reasonable? What was the point anyway? So he could cut himself again tomorrow? And the day after that?
Why don't I just let it bleed? What will happen? I'm going to die soon anyway, I'd rather die like this than screaming in pain at the hands of Voldemort. At least if I die now I wont be able to disappoint anyone. I know I'm not going to be able to fulfil the prophecy, better everyone else know it now than live in false hope.
Harry let go of his wrist and felt around in the dry leaf litter for the razor. Finally his fingers came in contact with it and he brought it back to his wrist, widening the cut, tearing through the layers of skin until a jagged line divided hand from arm. He could feel the pain throbbing up his arm in time with his pulse and he transferred the razor to the other hand. As he brought his arm over, the blood ran down his palm and splashed onto his shirt again. Once he had managed to create another gash across his right wrist, he let his left hand fall back to his side and closed his eyes.
I wonder how long it will take, he thought, how long does it take for all your blood to drain from your body, leaving you absolutely dry.
Another gust of wind rustled the leaves and Harry let himself drift, his mind wandering lazily through his memories. A twig snapped somewhere in the forest and the pools of blood surrounding Harry's hands grew. What could have been the murmuring of the wind grew louder until it became recognisable as human voices. Harry didn't register this fact until the voices were nearly upon him. He opened his eyes. The voices burst into careless laughter, none that Harry recognised. He tried to sit up just as the two boys entered the small clearing where he lay, but his hands slipped in their twin pools of blood and he fell back to the floor with a thump. The voices stopped and Harry closed his eyes; at the last moment, he had recognised them.
"Fuuuck."
"Blaise, go and get a teacher."
"Draco—"
"I said go and get a teacher! And don't stop to talk to anyone, just go and get Dumbledore or Snape or McGonagal, anybody, just go!"
Blaise murmured something quietly and Draco laughed. "Go!"
Blaise Zabini ran lithely through the trees, the sound of his feet fading slowly.
"Potter you fuckwit!" Draco knelt down next to Harry "you complete tosser, you stupid, idiotic, selfish bastard, you prick, you absolute twat, you-"
He shook Harry, trying to think of more profanities "Oh just wake up!"
"Fuck off and let me die"
"Oh thank god he's alive, listen to the sweet words of thanks he gives to his rescuer."
"Shut up Malfoy" Harry opened his eyes and glared up at him.
"That's no way to speak to a person who is trying to save your life" said Draco scoldingly.
"You don't seem to be trying very hard" said Harry, lifting his wrists, "noticed these?"
"I was just coming to those, right after I'd told you what I thought of you" Draco said nonchalantly. "what do you propose I do about them?"
"Nothing, just fuck off and leave me alone"
"Ooh, look who woke up on the wrong side of the razor this morning. What's wrong? Is Potter's suicide attempt not going to plan?" Malfoy drawled, "well don't worry, I'm here to help. Where's your wand?"
"Mine? Where's yours?"
"Blaise has it. Shit, I knew I shouldn't have given it to him while we were…"
"What?"
"Oh nothing. If you don't give it to me I'll have to search you for it Potter."
"I'm telling you, I don't have it!"
"A likely story" Draco smiled as he slid a hand into Harry's pocket. Harry shifted uncomfortably as he felt Draco's hand pressing against his flesh. His face was going hot and Draco grinned predatorily as he forced his hand into the other pocket. Harry breathed in the smell of the other boy and closed his eyes again.
"Right" said Draco strangely, "No wand in there I guess. It'll have to be bandages then, And I'm not ruining my shirt. How about yours, it's already dirty."
"No" Harry said vehemently "No way" But Draco's fingers were already fumbling with the buttons. Harry rocked from side to side jerkily, forcing Draco to let go. He tried to roll over but suddenly he was pulled forcefully onto his back and a heavy weight sat on top of him.
"If you think that I'm going to let you die" Draco hissed "You've got another thing coming, Potter. It would make me very happy to just walk away at this point and leave you but unfortunately enough for us, everyone is going to die if I do. In case you haven't been following current affairs, there is a crazy man trying to take over the world and you're the one who's supposed to save us all."
Harry looked up into the cool silver eyes and felt such a rush of hatred that he could hardly contain himself "You think I don't know that? You think I'm not reminded of it every time someone looks at me? The whole fucking school is looking at me to save their fucking arses and I can't! Do you know what it feels like to know that everyone is relying on you and you're going to let everybody down? Do you? No you fucking don't so just leave me alone and fucking fuck off"
Harry stopped and only realised he'd been straining up from the ground when he collapsed back onto it.
"And you really think killing yourself is the answer? Merlin Potter, you're even stupider than I thought."
Malfoy's face contorted in disgust and Harry wanted nothing more than to punch him hard right where it would hurt. But his arms were already feeling heavier. The blood screamed in their veins but the pain was distant and heavy, like pins and needles. His mouth worked for something cutting to say in return but found nothing. What was the point anyway? It was too late. Malfoy took the opportunity.
"Right" he said "Now off it comes."
Harry closed his eyes and let Malfoy unbutton his shirt and pull it carefully from his back and arms. Whether this was from distaste at getting blood on his hands or from a real worry for Harry, Harry didn't bother to analyse, submitting himself to being undressed. His arms buzzed and his head felt curiously light. The sun was hot on his face and he realised that he didn't mind Malfoy sitting on his stomach. His eyes flickered open at the sound of the other boy's voice.
The sun lit up every strand of Draco's platinum blond hair, and cast his face in shadows, making him look like a dark angel with a halo of light. The dark silvery eyes concentrated on the shirt in his hands and Draco muttered something again.
"What?" Harry asked
"I said I can't rip this shirt, it must have an anti ripping charm on it or something"
"That would have been Hermione." said Harry, his voice slightly apologetic.
"Well if I can't rip it then how am I going to make a bandage for each wrist?"
"Mwahaha, once again I have foiled your plan with my superior wit and brain power" Harry grinned lopsidedly.
"I don't think so, scar-boy" said Draco, a smirk curling the edges of his lip as he began to undo his own shirt. Harry watched in fascination-after all he was going to die and this was the last time he'd get to see a beautiful boy – did he just think that? About Malfoy? His mind would never be clean again, never, that was supposing he survived which he wasn't going to do – undressing in front of him. Slowly, Draco's chest was revealed, and the shirt came off. His skin was milky white, and his stomach was flat and toned, his arms fit but not too muscly. Harry soaked it all in with his eyes as he lay underneath it, pleased that his mind was too fuzzy to analyse what it was thinking. It was only when Draco reached down for his left wrist that Harry realised what he was trying to do.
With all his remaining strength, Harry brought his hand up and slapped Malfoy's hand away.
"No" Harry yelled hoarsely "I won't let you"
"You don't have a choice" Draco said determinedly reaching again. His fingers grasped it but this time Harry's other hand came up, shoving him weakly in the chest and half toppling Malfoy off his perch on Harry's stomach. Malfoy had a grasp of Harry's left wrist now but as he reached over for the right Harry flicked his wrist out of Malfoy's grasp grabbing a fistful of Malfoy's hair and pulling sideways, staining the locks a deep red and sending droplets of blood into Draco's eyes. He wiped furiously at his face, smearing the blood across both his cheeks as he settled himself once again on top of Harry.
"Right, that's it." He growled, reaching for the two abandoned shirts.
Harry grabbed Draco's forearms, the blood from his wrists trickling along the other boys skin, but Malfoy was ready and with one fluid motion forced Harry's arms above his head, pressing them onto the ground with the shirts pressed tightly against the bleeding wounds.
Harry tried to glare angrily at Draco but the pain was too much for him. It felt as though he had two red hot bands wrapped around his wrists. A gasp of pain escaped his lips and he blinked away a few tears that had sprung to his eyes. He struggled weakly but the fight that had briefly flared in him had left him and there was nothing he could do.
"Why do you always have to ruin everything" he breathed through his clenched teeth. Blackness was encroaching on his vision but still he glared up into the silvery-grey orbs above him, his forehead shiny from exertion, it's scar standing out in livid colour to match his wrists. He was all too aware of Draco's stomach pressing against his own, and Draco's breath tickling his lips and nose. He tried to keep his breathing steady as Draco shifted on top of him. Draco's lips were half open and Harry could see his tongue and the flash of white teeth.
"Fuck Potter" whispered Draco slowly "Why do you have to be so damn tempting?"
They could hear voices through the trees now, shouts and yells as people crashed through bushes and undergrowth.
"Malfoy" Harry's voice hitched as the boy moved on top of him and he felt the other erection pressing into his own.
Suddenly, with a small moan Draco's face dropped and closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a clash of noses and teeth. Harry's mouth opened immediately, allowing Malfoy's hot slick tongue to enter, sliding over and around his own. Draco was clenching Harry's wrists so tightly that the pain was almost too much to bear. Harry's eyes were clenched shut as he tried to retain consciousness. Shivers ran up and down his body and the pain put his arms on fire. He was aware of his own tiny whimpers mingling with Malfoy's as the people drew nearer and nearer. The kiss grew more urgent and black spots appeared behind Harry's eyelids as his head was pressed against the floor. He could recognise single voices now, words.
Harry pressed up from the ground and Draco gasped and bit down onto Harry's bottom lip. At that point, whether from pain or pleasure, Harry's mind slid into darkness and he lost all conscious thought.
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