Chapter One
"Don't, please." I recoil from him. There's no way I can tolerate his touch now, it will slay me. "I can't do this."
Grabbing my suitcase and my backpack I head for the foyer.
"RED" Christian shouts, I turn with the speed of lightning to see, tears running down his face.
"What?" Im flabbergasted. Did he just safeword?
"I can't, Ana. I can't watch you leave me. Please." He drops to his knees in front of me, I let go of my suitcase and backpack before stroking his hair.
"I have to leave, Christian. You said I can't love you. Well I do. I'm in love with you, on the plane home from Georgia I sat back with my eyes closed and I could see myself in your bed, with you by my side and our child in the middle of us. That's not what you want. You don't even want a real relationship, you want a perfect submissive. I can't be that. I didn't safeword, I couldn't. I can't trust myself. If I stay here while pretending to be the perfect submissive for you, I'll lose myself. I'll lose who I really am in a storm of pain and pleasure with bursts of lightening filled with ostentatious gifts. That's not me. I need hearts and flowers." By the end of my speech my throat is sore.
"Can we try, please." The broken man at my feet, whose hair fills my hands pleads
"I want to be the perfect submissive for you but I can't. I have to choose myself. If I become your submissive, I'll get you but I'll lose myself. I've seen my mother lose herself, give me up for a man when I was a child and I can't do that. I can't lose myself."
"Let's start again, we could go on a ... date?" He's so hopeful, little boy lost.
"What way would we try, Christian? The so called date we had at the Heathman where we discussed hard limits and butt plugs?" The scorn in my voice matching the sneer on my face worthy of the most blood purist Slytherin there ever was.
"No. I want a date like we had in Georgia where we went gliding, when we were happy together."
"How long will this normality last..." I begin
"Forever. I never want you to leave." He interrupts.
"That's not what I meant. How long will the normality last before you want to start beating me for an arbitrary crime?" My sneer is back.
"I can't do that to you Anastasia. Please, give me another chance. Please." My fingers stroke his hair, there's a wetness. He must be warm. I stroke his cheek, no. Oh. It's my tears falling. I do need him.
"I... I need to talk this through." My scorn is gone, now I'm just confused.
"How about we talk to Dr Flynn?" He suggests looking up at me with hope in his bloodshot eyes.
"Okay." I smile, dropping to my knees so we're face to face. Our lips meet. The kiss I soft and innocent, full of hope.
A/N let me know what you think & if I should continue.